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How to induce labour at home
Have you ever tried to induce labour at home? Old wives tales and millennial mamas all have countless tips and tricks that supposedly work, but I wonder if they actually do. Of corse, keeping your bun in the oven until he/she decides to make an appearance is ideal. But different circumstances could call for you to help your baby along its way. Well, I’ve been doing my research on home induction and I’m here to share them with you.
To be honest, I never thought I’d be desperate enough to induce labour at home. I’m one of those “everything happens when it’s suppose to happen” kind of girls. But my recent OBGYN visit showed us a very big baby Jo. In fact, the guestimation is that he will be over 4kg at birth, if I carry full term. His mid section is really big and since I’m pushing for natural labour (pun intended), my sweet doc would rather not take the chance to have me carry till my due date. If nothing happens naturally, by next week, she will be inducing labour at the hospital. But we’re keeping our hopes up that Jo will make an appearance before then. In the meantime, here are a few “induction tricks” that I’ve found online. I’m curious to know: Have any of you tried this at home? Please share your stories with me!
Lots of sex
Well this is one that Hubstopher won’t mind at all. I’ve read (and I like that this is a medical fact, not something that Margaret told Greta in 1856) that semen contains prostaglandins. This hormone-like compound ripens and softens the cervix. Apparently three “doses” of this hormone is enough to spur on labour.Nipple stimulation
Another medical fact is that nipple stimulation mimics the suckling of a newborn. This releases oxytocin into your body, which is responsible for uterine contractions during labour. The trick is to stimulate the section behind the areola. You could even do this by using a breast pump.Castor Oil
Look, I’m not here to promote gut-wrenching diarrhea. But I’ve heard that castor oil is a great natural induction tool because it stimulates the uterus to contract. It does this by stimulating the intestines (which in turn stimulates the uterus). I would assume that you need to be mindful of the amount of castor oil that you ingest. (See my reference to gut-wrenching diarrhea).Other foods
There are a list of foods that also supposedly bring on those labour pains. Things like pineapple, spicy foods and dates are on top of the list. The reasoning is that they work in similiar fashion to the castor oil – they cause intestinal stimulation, which in turn stimulates the uterus.Red rasberry leaf tea
This is another one of those old wives tales that people swear by! I’ve read that this tea strengthens the uterus and pelvic wall, when consumed during pregnancy. It is also very stimulating and is said to speed along the birth process as well.Acupuncture and accupresure
There is always the option of trying natural or homeopathic remedys. I’m no expert on the topic but I’ve read that acupuncture helps to get you mentally and physically ready to birth your baby. In fact, there are certain pressure points in your feet that can help to bring on natural labour.Move it move it
Exercises – such as walking, biking or swimming – is said to bring on labour. Of corse, you’re always told to walk walk walk, when you’re in your final stages of pregnancy. This helps baby to get into position and it helps to open up your pelvis for a faster delivery.So that’s my list. But with all of that said, I don’t have room for fear or anxiety in my head. Remaining calm and relaxed is my super, top secret tip on how to induce labour at home. But I must admit, I am curious: Have you tried any of these at home? Which of these work, in your opinion? Please share your thoughts and tips with me, in the comments section!
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Not worthy for Mother’s Day
I spent the latter part of my teenage years pretending to be a mother to my baby boy. The word ‘pretend’ may seem a bit harsh, but when you’re 19, being a mother is kinda the last thing on your list of things to do. I so clearly remember the day I gave birth. Seconds after the delivery, I laid there, in shock, thinking “I have a baby now”. I, Luchae, am someones mother! How did that happen?! I mean, don’t get me wrong, I was always aware that being pregnant usually resulted in a baby. But my young, impressionable mind did not realize the enormity of what that meant, until I saw my son for the first time.
My very first experience, as the recipient of a Mother’s Day greeting, left me feeling awkward and unworthy. The friendly greeter was a much older family friend and (even though he had the best intentions in mind) I was horrified that he was making such a public statement about my previous failure. I was a teen mom! How could I celebrate such an amazing day?! Where is the celebration in all of this?! How could I be celebrating something that had brought shame to my family and anguish to my parents?
Years went by and I treated each Mother’s Day with the same disregard – it was something that OTHER mothers celebrated. And hey, I’ll help them do it! Out came the fancy card decorating and the pretty present wrapping. I would help my son give his aunties and grandmother’s cute Mother’s Day gifts. But for me? Nothing. No thanks. I don’t want it. Deep down I believed that my admission into this wonderful world of ‘motherhood’ was forced, unnatural and before its time. My role in the grander scheme of all things “mom” was to play the background – be as inconspicuous as possible – and NOT brag about it!
It was only later on – after I had learnt to embrace my position as my sons mother – that I recognised the importance of my role in his life. Sure, the situation had not been ideal and I lacked the wisdom and experience needed to take on this big job. But the love and support showed to me by family members and friends made up for that a gazillion times over. At the end of the day, I had to GET OVER myself and my own inadequacies. This kid needed a strong, resilient mother figure in his life. I was being totally selfish by not allowing him to celebrate me on Mother’s Day.
These days I am mom to more than just one and I LOVE being celebrated as their mother. I cherish what that means to them and to me.
It is for this very reason that I love and fully support the Embrace #MothersDayConnect initiative. To think that there are hundreds of young women, around the country, who like me joined our motherhood tribe feeling overwhelmed, ill-equipt and unworthy of celebration! I know how that feels.
It is with this in mind that I would like to encourage you to share Mother’s Day, this year. No, we don’t need you to make a grand gesture, or give a lecture, or collect money. We’re simply asking you to help us let as many new moms, around the country, know that: “I see you. I see your baby. Thank you for your sacrifice, Mama, and Happy Mother’s Day!” Mothers based in Port Elizabeth, Cape Town, Joburg and Durban will be offering up one hour of their Mother’s Day to simply sit with a new mom – one woman to another – and make her feel less alone. Your smile and kind words are more powerful than you think!
I am hoping to lead a group as we visit one of Port Elizabeth’s state hospitals (Dora Nginza) to spend a few minutes with some of the moms and new babies there. Are you keen to join me? I would like to put special packs together and maybe even offer the mommy a baked treat, as a Mother’s Day gesture. If you’re in, drop me a comment below or email me at admin@spreadsheetbrain.co.za to let me know. YOU can be a light to a mama in need, this Mother’s Day.
For more information join the movement on Facebook.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=uRlU_wGIcbM%2520frameborder%3D0%2520allowfullscreen
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Do you keep your friend’s secrets from your husband?
I’ve only been married for a few seconds (give or take 4 years) but few things have baffled me about marriage the way this dilemma does: Should I be telling my husband my friend’s secrets? We know that marriage is built on foundations of trust, mutual respect and open communication. But is there a line that must be drawn when it comes to sharing information with your spouse? Wives, please tell me, do you keep your friend’s secrets from your husband? -
Do you feel like you suck?
“Meh. My life sucks.” A mantra.
Yeah, what a weird way to start a blog post, right? But come on, we’ve all been there. We’ve all had to deal with thoughts of worthlessness or inadequacy sometime in our lives. Me, probably a heck of a lot more than I’d care to admit. But the truth is that I often compare myself – my life and my achievements – with that of someone else’s. And the weird thing is that (DUH) it can’t look the same because we all have our own unique experiences and paths. DUH. And yet we still do this thing and then call ourselves “sucky” when we feel that we fall short.
Can you relate, or nah?
Maybe you’re measuring yourself up against Super Duper Mom who seems to have it all. You know, the mother who regularly goes on beach resort holidays with her family, all while keeping her house spotless, kids disciplined, bills paid and nails perfectly manicured.
Or perhaps you’re trying your best to impress your manager at work but you always fall short of that promotion – your skills and abilities seemingly just not good enough to wow the big guns.
And let’s be honest, who here is convinced that she sucks at being a wife? I mean, I don’t always have the energy to iron my hubstopher’s shirts on demand and my sugar sweet “okay babe” is often tinged with growls of “no, do it yourself!” My well prepped, well balanced meal ideas often replaced with something that is quick and easy because: tired.
I recently went through a crazy season of dealing with feelings of inadequacy. And as I navigated my way through hormone changes and irrational thinking, I realised that we often put unnecessary pressure on ourselves. We set the bar high and then wait for other people to make us feel validated and as if we’re doing a good job.
But the truth is that being a woman – being a super woman (cause that’s what we are, yo) – takes a lot of self-motivation. Who says that someone else’s opinion of you and how you’re doing counts as more valuable than your own opinion of yourself?! Who made up that rule? I need to have a word with that guy… in his face… with a chair… (juuust kidding, say no to violence)
When I realised that I had been dealing with unnecessary thoughts of “not good enough” I literally had to give myself a pep talk. It usually takes a lot to make me feel as if I suck because I am generally, mostly optimistic. I am aware that my thoughts impact my decisions and emotions. And so, if I feel like I suck, it’s purely because I DECIDED to feel that way.Your thoughts of “not good enough” are just that – YOUR THOUGHTS… an opinion that you’ve given life to. It doesn’t make it the truth. It just makes it the truth that you chose to believe. (Spreadsheet brain psychology, at your service). We take on this slave mentality and wonder why we don’t feel as if we’re free. We tell ourselves that we’re not good enough, based on the actions and reactions of others, and then we wonder why we feel as if we’re not good enough.
I know… mind blown.
So today, I encourage you to be free – breathe, stretch, shake, let it go! You are not in control of everything… and that’s okay. You are more than enough, just as you are… and that’s a fact. And no, you don’t suck. I promise.
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So, what’s up with Easter?
Oh look it’s public holiday time again! (And the crowd goes wild) What’s this one about? National Siblings Day? Braai Day? Edgars Red Hanger Sale Day? Okay, I digress much… let’s start at the top: This weekend we celebrate Easter! As you know, many of us associate Easter with chocolates, rabbits, pickled fish, hot cross buns and, oh hey, maybe we’ll go to church. But what’s the big deal anyways and why do we get time off from work to celebrate days like “Good Friday” and “Easter Monday”?
Well, traditionally, Easter is the remembrance of the life and death of Jesus Christ. Some of us believe that this guy really DID walk the Earth a couple of years ago and really DID die a horrible death. I know that the very idea of Jesus seems a bit far fetched – and I get that. I mean, if there is a God, why would he send a man (who calls himself God’s “son”) to this crazy planet?
Well, I think that it was totally genius of God to come meet with us, on Earth, in human form. I mean, think about our brain capacities, as human beings – human form was the only way that we would be able to relate with him. I mean, if Jesus looked like an alien, how well would we have responded to him? Or if God came to meet with us as a giant unicorn or a ball of fire or a massive winged angel, would we have been able to relate with him? Clever move, God, clever move.
Anyways, so this Jesus was born, as a normal human being and grew up as a (guess what) normal human being, with brothers and sisters and parents. As he grew older people were instantly drawn to him. Philosophers and wise men spoke of this guy and his radical teachings. People could not understand his talks of a God who loved them unconditionally – back then they had to sacrifice their babies on altars of fire to get recognition from their “gods”. And here comes this man saying that all they need to do is open their hearts.I’ve heard of amazing ancient history books (not the Bible) documenting the life of this Jesus. Soldiers reported about Him, in their log books, saying that the stuff he and his followers were saying, caused an uprising among the people (who all worshiped rocks and metals back then).
They eventually found reason to arrest him (basically, the locals made the #Jesusmustfall hashtag trend) and the dude in charge couldn’t decide if he should be punished (because, basically, all he was doing was talking), so the public took it on themselves (think: mob justice) to do something about it.
They beat him up, whipped him, mocked him, spat on him and taunted him. This beating was so severe that at times victims would not survive it in order to go on to be crucified (another norm back then). Those who were flogged would often go into hypovolemic shock, a term that refers to low blood volume. In other words, the person would have lost so much blood he would go into shock. This explains why, after Jesus died and a Roman soldier thrust a spear through Jesus’ side (probably His right side, piercing both the lungs and the heart), blood and water came from His side just as John recorded in his Gospel. (John 19:34)
Anyways, he died. They put him in a tomb and had guards surround the tomb, because Jesus had spoken of his death and said that he would rise again in 3 days (I mean, he knew they were going to kill him. Hello, bells should be going off). They were like, this guy’s followers will probably try to steal his body, so let’s guard the tomb and make sure that they don’t get away with it! I mean, logical thinking, right?
Except that days later, he actually did rise from the dead. The guards ran away in terror. (Shame. You had one job.)
What does all of this even mean?Here’s what it means: God loved us all so much that He took on human form to come and mingle with us locals. He knew that if we were left to our own devices, there would be no way we would ever be able to have a relationship with Him, because He is pure and perfect and we are not. He needed to establish a way for us to be close to Him. Jesus became our scapegoat, so to say.
Jesus sacrifice on the cross meant that we are now able to trade our old for new, literally by accepting it, believing it and confessing it in our hearts and with our mouths. Like, that’s how you sign the contract. That’s it. No sacrificing of babies on alters and no slaughtering of goats required.
I also love that Jesus referred to God as his “Father”, thus giving us a way to relate with God… as our Father. Isn’t it beautiful that the God who actually made everything – like the whole Universe – wants us to know Him as a Father?
Anyways, this supernatural fact is what makes Easter such a supernatural period and a special time for me. God is alive and He is real. I love me some chocolate, but THIS right here is what love looks like. Beat that Easter bunny!
Originally posted on April 12th 2012. Updated on April 13th 2017.
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Dear friend who is no longer my friend
Dear ‘friend who is no longer my friend’. I know it’s been a while since we last spoke. Even though we’ve exchanged online glances… and real life ones, as we avoid each other in shopping malls, pretending not to see.
How are you? You popped into my head space a few times this past month (thanks a lot Facebook ‘On This Day’). I know that we’ve totally moved on from each other… let’s keep it real, we don’t even have the same interests anymore. But I was wondering if you still remember all those great moments we shared. Those were the best times.
Remember your cousins wedding? We danced so much and cried through all the speeches – the passion and zeal of our youth overtaking us and making every single moment the most important moment of our lives. I also remember when I caught my (then) boyfriend attempting to cheat on me (to me it was world changing… to him, it was just Tuesday). You told me that I was worth more and that if I don’t stop running after him, you’ll beat me up with a stick. I remember the time you got into a car crash with your mom’s car. I don’t regret staying by your side the entire time, as you gave your statement to the police.
What changed? Well, that’s a bit rhetorical – I know what changed. I changed. You changed. And that’s okay. I mean, who wants to be the same person for the rest of your life?! It’s a pretty mundane expectation. I can’t apologise for being a different girl to the one you knew… the one who had no direction in life and partied with you until the sun came up and sat on beach chairs, drinking vodka, until it went down again. That is not who I am anymore.And hey, my transformation had nothing to do with you. In fact, it had everything to do with me and the God of my life. He had a bigger plan and I decided to roll with that. Somehow, in the middle of the whirlwind, as I gave up my old life (and my old habits) for something else, our friendship fell away too. I don’t think it was intentional – for either of us.
I’m sorry if you feel that I neglected our relationship. And I’m sorry if my sudden changes made you feel as if I was saying that your way of doing things is inferior. I’m sorry if I acted as if all our special quirks and memories meant nothing. But I can’t apologise for being who I am today. I hope you understand.
Anyways, I don’t expect this to resurrect an outdated friendship that we’ve both outgrown. It just feels weird to not acknowledge you when we have a deep well of history together. I believe that certain relationships are planted in our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I hope that my season in yours was fruitful and that you look back at all our crazy with fondness and not regret. Because I certainly do.
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The Spur debacle and why I don’t care
So the whole Spur debacle has everyone talking and I’ve over here like, “what do you mean no more Monday burger special?!” Look, I don’t mean to sound cavalier about what went down at the eatery. In fact, I am down right appalled. But I was even more shocked at the response of South Africans – far and wide – who (get this part) was not even AT Spur at the time of the incident. That’s right ladies and gents. You were not there. -
Books that made me appreciate life
Whenever my birthday comes around, I find myself valuing the gift of life, love and family. We are so blessed! All of us. Yes, even without Kim Kardashian hair. I’ve been enjoying a few amazing reads from Christian Art Media, that made me appreciate life even more. These books helped me to self reflect, clear my head space (which is usually difficult if you have a spreadsheet brain) and realign my thoughts. They say you are what you think. It’s the TRUTH! I’ve found that when I focus my thoughts on that which is good, my mood is instantly lifted, my goals become clearer and I am able to face challenges with a smile on my face! So, to say happy birthday to me, I’d like to give some of these amazing books to one reader. But first, more on the books: -
It’s all in the name: quirky and popular baby names
In the deep recesses of my spreadsheet brain, I secretly want to have hundreds of children, just so that I can name them. I like naming things. And yes, I do realize that admitting this makes me seem slightly weird. Love me for me. Anyways, where am I going with this? Well, deciding on a name for our newbie was a no brainer because Hubstopher kinda named him way before he even proposed to me. But, when I found out I was pregnant, I still thought to look up other possible names (because spreadsheet brain and all). Some of the suggestions I received were slightly more ‘off beat’ than I would dare take on. But hey, don’t take my word for it, check out these… uhhh interesting… and popular baby names:
Colors
So I was assured that if you’re “with it”, naming your kid after a hue of the rainbow is probably the most hippest thing you could do. Names like Indigo, Crimson and Gray were quite trendy yesteryear. Let’s not forget Blue Ivy – the offspring of power couple, JayZ and Beyonce. Those are all really pretty, in my opinion. But once you start going, “Oh hey, meet my son, Orange,” or “this is my daughter, Khaki,” please know that I WILL be giving you a side eye.Fruit
Look, the lovely Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter, Apple, is a real cutie patootie. And I could totally fall inlove with the name Berry or even Peaches. But you’re pushing it when you decide to name your offspring something crazy like Pomegranate or Grape. “Banana, can you please let go of your brothers hair?!” Just doesn’t work, does it?
Character
So a big trend was to name your kiddo after a strength or character that you admired. Names like Loyal, Verity, Patience and Honesti were the most popular. Hmmm. I met someone named Integrity once. She wasn’t very reliable. *ba-dum-dish*Planets
Another trend was to name your baby after a planet or object of the solar system. Names like Moon, Mars and Jupiter grew in popularity. The name, Starr, is also very pretty. But you might be pushing it when you’re swaying more towards names like Meteor and Milky Way. (And yes, people have totally contemplated using these as first names)The older the better
So older names are making a comeback big time. People have been digging through the archives to pull out names like Mildred, Barnabas, Berta, Mabel and Ebenezer. It’s an acquired taste, in my opinion.Keeping it Bible
I’m sure you’ve noticed that going Old Testament is the new “in thing”, when deciding on a baby name. (Me, I’m guilty of this). The most popular were Caleb, James, Samuel and Isaac.Which off these quirky names are your fave?
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When you’re dating a single mom…
I was a single mom for a good chunk of my adult life. If you recall, I gave birth to my boy when I was about 19 years old. His dad and I split up soon thereafter. Being a single mom has it’s highs and lows. But I found that one of the biggest challenges was dating. Yep, dating a single mom: it’s complicated!
For starters, there’s a whole other life to think about, which is sometimes hard for guys to understand. Single mom does not mean “single heart”. In fact, there should be an unspoken rule of the universe: Never break a single mom’s heart!
As a single mom, you have so much to consider – a deeper sense of responsibility and demand. There is simply no time to play relationship games or nurse a broken heart. You are everything to your child! And, as a functioning parent, planning what’s for supper, how to make a human skeleton out of toothpicks and making sure that there are clean shirts for school, seriously takes priority over ‘crying yourself to sleep because he broke up with you AGAIN’.
With that said, gentlemen, when you play mind games with a single mother you are messing with more than just one heart. If you’ve been fortunate enough to be around her kid/s, you kind of have a responsibility to not treat their mom like an old shoe. I’m not saying force yourself to make it work – but heyo, be a gentleman. Having manners is for free. Bow out respectfully and hey, better yet, if you’re not in it to win it, then don’t tap in at all. Do you know what sucks worse than a broken heart? Having to tell your kid why Uncle So-and-So didn’t greet him at the shopping mall today. Kids don’t get it. And they most certainly don’t deserve it.
And if she doesn’t allow just anyone around her kid, that’s okay too! You know the kid is there. They exist. They aren’t going anywhere. Don’t make senseless, selfish demands, as if she has all the time in the world to spend with you. You are not her everything. Maybe you can claim a top spot on her list of priorities one day when you put a ring on it . But until then, recognize that this amazing super woman has a lot more than you on her mind. Encourage her, support her and applaud her.
And anyways, breaking up is harder when you’re a single parent. You don’t have the freedom to take your mood out on those around you – because chances are “those around you” are your kids. You don’t get to lie in bed for days on end, refusing to function because the hurt is unbearable. And you don’t have the space to allow ‘drama’ into your world. Your child’s stability comes first. Your baby’s mental and emotional well being is more important.
What worked for me? Well, I met an amazing man who was interested in being my friend FIRST, which made room for us (my son and I) to befriend him as a family. This guy took the time to get to know us, as a unit and individually, and he genuinely cared. No strings attached! No promises! No demands! I ended up marrying him.
So maybe you’re a single mom and you don’t want to sound like a desperate, needy “I’m not dating unless it’s serious” kind of girl. But hey, guess what, treating your heart (and your children’s lives) with the highest respect, IS serious business. You are a package – a bonus deal, if you will. It’s a beautiful thing! Treat it as such and you will unconsciously give others permission to do that too.
Disclaimer: I’m not saying that single mom’s hearts deserve more looking after than that of other women’s. We should all be treated with dignity and respect. But this one is for the babymamas.
