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Moms, have you heard about the ‘Fiver Party’ trend?
What if I told you that “no gift parties” are the new in thing? Yes, I’m being serious. Okay, let’s start at the beginning. Hands up, if you’ve been to more kid’s parties in one year, than you’ve been to actual, grown up parties. In fact, taking your children to birthday parties is high up on the list of standard “things to do when you’re a parent”. But the thing is this, guys, it can get quite pricey if you’re attending copious amounts of birthday parties on the regular!
Well, one genius mom came up with the “Fiver Party” concept and it’s now trending in America and Canada.
A Fiver Party is basically a birthday party where all guests are encouraged to bring money ($5) towards a big ticket present that the birthday boy/girl’s parents would buy. Yes, you heard me Margaret. Instead of trekking to the shops to find that reasonably priced (but it doesn’t look too cheap, ya know?) gift, you can literally chuck some cash into a cute birthday card and take that along with you to the party.
Moms, all around the world, have expressed mixed emotions with regards to this concept. I mean, think about it. How would you feel about taking a R50 note to a birthday party, instead of a gift? Some are calling it tacky. Other’s say that it just doesn’t feel right to go with nothing but the cash. Other moms include cute stickers or a sweet treat, with the moola…. just so that it doesn’t feel empty.
But the vast majority love the idea! In fact, many of them are choosing to have Fiver Parties for their own kids! They say that their children have way too many toys already and it’s a brilliant idea to be able to put all the cash together to buy one big ticket item that the child really wants.
I have mixed emotions about it though. I mean, for starters, some moms just feel awkward about asking guests to bring money to their kid’s birthday party. But also, I really love the intention that goes behind every little birthday gift. My one friend made the cutest little bow-bedecked socks for Kari’s birthday last year. Another friend knew that she loves tutu skirts, and that’s what they got her. Kari was over the moon! Another friend gifted her with awesome reading books, that we’re still using today. I’m a sentimental at heart and I love that we can use these things and know that they were gifted with love.
BUT I’m not totally opposed to a Fiver Party. I love the convenience. It’s money smart (especially if the child is a bit older and is willing to save or invest the cash into something worthwhile). It’s also a great way to ensure that your kid isn’t focused on getting as much as possible… nipping that materialistic spirit in the bud. Besides who wants piles and piles of unused toys in their house, right? Your Fiver Party can even fund an experience (a trip to a cool destination or maybe an adventure that your child has always wanted to try).
Anyways, here’s where you come in, friends. What do you think about the Fiver Party concept? Let me know in the comments section below.
If you’re keen to host a Fiver Party, but not sure how to ask your guests for cash instead of a gift, you can use one of the samples below:
Sample 1
This is a NO GIFTS party, since we’re trying to help (NAME) focus on the joy of spending time with friends, rather than on receiving gifts. For those who would still like to bless (NAME) you’re welcome to gift him with no more than R50 that he can put towards something special he’s saving for.
Sample 2
Please note that gifts are not required. If you would like to give one, you are welcome to help (NAME) buy that big gift that he has his eye on. You can pop your card and cash gift into the gift box at the party.
Sample 3
This is a NO GIFTS party. Instead, (NAME) is proud to be able to raise money for his favorite charity. (NAME) will use half of the money collected to buy a small gift for himself and then donate the rest to (CHARITY NAME).
Sample 4
(NAME) is having a fiver party! She is saving for a (BIG TICKET GIFT) so if you choose to bring a gift, she would appreciate a R50 in a card.
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Fun games to play on a road trip with kids
With the school holidays looming, a scenic road trip could be a cool way to keep your young ones entertained. I know, a road trip can seem pretty daunting when you combine the compact space of a back seat with your kid’s extremely large levels of energy. But do not fret, dear friend! Fellow mommy blogger, Amelia, of Suddenly a Mom, has shared some cool road-trip games with us!
Fun road trip games for kids
We’re getting ready for an eight-hour road trip in December, when we head on our annual family camping trip to Yellow Sands, which is just outside East London. With a talkative 10-year old that loves telling the same jokes and expecting the same enthusiasm from us every time we hear it.So, I’ve become the mom that gives her earphones and an iPad and lets her watch movies while I convince myself that they’re educational. But, this year, we’re going to play some games along the way so that we can all pass the time with no mention of “What goes tick-tock-bow-wow?” (It’s a watchdog, by the way).
I Spy
How to play it: Say, “I spy with my little eye something beginning with {choose a letter}” and the rest of the family have to guess what you’ve seen. If your kids are younger, you can choose a colour, rather than a letter.
Why we love it: It helps with her spelling and passes the time really well (especially as you get more creative with the things you can actually see).
Licence Plate Maths
How to play it: Using only the numbers on the licence plate of the car in front of you, try to add, subtract, multiply and divide to get to a certain number (10, 15, 24, whatever). The person that gets the closest to the goal numebr is the winner of each round.
Why we love it: It’s so helpful with maths and out-of-the-box thinking, and it changes all the time (every time a different car is in front of you). I even play this on my own. I’m not ashamed.
Memory Games
How to play it: Start with, “I went to the corner café and I bought a {name one thing that you bought}”. Then, the next person needs to repeat the whole phrase and what you bought, and add another item to the list. Every person that follows needs to repeat the list in the correct order. So, you’ll end up with something like, “I went to the corner café and I bought a coconut, a bottle of water, a puppy, an exhaust pipe, a hotdog, a hairdryer, and balloons.”
Why we love it: It’s really fun hearing what random thing each person would add to the list and coming up with ways to remember them.
Twenty Questions
How to play it: One of you has to decide on a person or thing. The rest of the car can only ask 20 questions to figure out what person or thing you’re thinking of. To add to the intrigue, you can only answer the questions with “yes” or “no”.
Why we love it: It keeps us busy for AGES and it’s fun figuring out the riddle and strategising your questions.
Find the Car
How to play it: Choose one car make (BMW, Hyundai, Toyota, etc…) and keep on the lookout for it on the road. The person that spots the most cars of that make is the winner.
Why we love it: It’s great for a tween that is learning to read and for little ones that can identify the badges. It’s also fun to yell, “TOYOTA” in the accent of your choice. You just did it, didn’t you?
Would You Rather
How to play it: One person asks, “Would you rather…” and comes up with two hypothetical situations. Everyone in the car has to say which they would rather do or be and why. For example, “Would you rather be painted blue for the rest of your life, or only be able to see the colour blue?”
Why we love it: It gets bizarre and hilarious, but also makes us think.
Name Game
How to play it: The first person comes up with the name of an animal, country, colour, food, etc… Then, the next person has to name another thing (in the same category) that starts with the last letter of the one before it. So, for example, if we choose “country” as our category, I could say, “Denmark”, and the person following me would have to come up with a country that starts with the letter “K”.
Why we love it: This game is just the right combination of educational and fun.
Comment below if you have other great ideas for car games to play on long road trips.
Guest post by Amelia Meyer
Amelia is a freelance writer, wife and mom. She is based on the gorgeous Garden Route and blogs at Suddenly a Mom when she’s not ear-deep in projects for clients. She is also an owner, copywriter and editor at Voxate.Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/VoxateWritingEditing/
Twitter: @mieliepip -
Calm down, your Facebook is probably not hacked
Can you calm down with the frantic status updates… your Facebook is probably not hacked, Margaret. Seriously. It’s all one big hoax and by re-sharing bogus information, you’re kinda just making it worse.
The bogus message usually goes along the lines of: “Hi….I actually got another friend request from you yesterday…which I ignored so you may want to check your account. Hold your finger on the message until the forward button appears…then hit forward and all the people you want to forward too….I had to do the people individually. Good Luck.”
This is just a hoax, you guys. It was probably started to cause fear/chaos. I’m sure most of you are aware of the cloning scam that had been rife in previous months. But Facebook officials say that there has been no serious increase of cloned accounts. (I’ve added links to various articles below.)
For those who don’t know, the Facebook cloning scam takes place when someone steals your profile photo and other information, to create a phony Facebook profile. The scammer sends friend requests to your friends list (using the fake profile), and uses the fake account to send scam messages. This is not the same as hacking your account, since the scammer does not have your log in details. They are basically just making a fake profile, to scam your friends/family with. Not cool, I know.
To check if your account has been cloned, do a Facebook search, using your name. If more than one profile appears, chances are, you’ve been cloned. Simply click on the “Report this profile” button and the account will be removed in 24 hours.
How to protect your Facebook account from cloningI’m sure that after receiving the gazillion messages urging you to not accept duplicate friend requests, you’re kinda wondering if you should be doing something towards making your Facebook profile a bit more protected. Fair enough. Here are a few safety measures that you can put in place, to safe guard your Facebook account:
1. Do a “Privacy Checkup” by clicking on the “Lock” icon on the top right of your Facebook profile. You want to make sure that all your information is set to “Friends” or “Only Me” to ensure that scammers (who are not friends with you on Facebook) cannot see your information. So yes, that means making sure that none of your privacy settings are set to “Public“.
2. Once you’ve done that, double check that your Facebook information is not set to “Public“. Open accounts are easy targets for those dreaded cloning scammers. To change this click at the top right of any Facebook page and choose “Settings“. Select “Privacy” from the left menu.
3. Hide your friends list so that those naughty scammers can’t see who you are friends with. To do this, open your profile, click on “Friends” and then click on the pencil icon on the right hand side to “Edit Privacy“. Make sure to select the “Only me” option in the “Who can see your friends list” drop down.
4. A biggie for me (since someone actually stole my pics and pretended to be me for, like, years) is the privacy settings on your photos. Even though Facebook won’t allow you to hide your Profile and Cover pics, you can still safeguard your albums by selecting the audience for each image, individually. (This kinda tackles the whole “should I share my kids photos on social media” worry as well.) You can also select the audience for albums as well.
5. Don’t accept Friend Requests from people you don’t know! I think this speaks for itself.
6. Once you’ve updated your privacy settings, you can view your profile as “Public” to see what your Facebook looks like to somebody who is not on your friends list. simply click the “Lock” icon and then click on “Who can see my stuff.” Then choose “View as” to see what the public sees when they view your timeline.
7. Once you are happy that your Facebook has been safeguarded against prying eyes, tell your friends how to do this too! I mean, sure it feels great to share a frantic status update, with the hopes that you are protecting loved ones against possible scammers. But it’s does nothing except cause havoc and a misinformed public.
Rather arm your friends and fam with info on how to protect themselves against possible scammers! Yes you may do so by resharing this post. You’re welcome.
For more information check out these articles:
What is Facebook cloning and how can I protect myself from it
Warnings of cloned accounts going viral
How to tell if your Facebook has been hacked
Your Facebook account has not been cloned -
The 5 most embarrassing things I’ve said on my blog
If you’ve met me on any given day, you’d know that I am super good at being spontaneous… in an awkward way. Like that time when someone, at a local conference, asked me where I’m from (referring to the company I work for), and I replied with “Port Elizabeth”. Duh. Anyways, so I’ve seen this awkward spontaneity spill over into my blog. Most days I’m pretty okay with it, because I figure it makes for interesting reading, if anything. But sometimes its so awkward that my close friend would call me and be like: “I can’t believe you blogged about THAT!” Maybe it’s bravery. Maybe it’s stupidity. Maybe it’s because I type these things up at 1am, while trying to avoid the need to munch down on carbs. Whatevs. It is what it is. So, because I seem to like drama, I’m adding fuel to the awkward, by reminding you guys of some of the most embarrassing things I’ve said on my blog. You ready? Okay, great. Here they are:
I shouldn’t be alive
For my birthday, one year, I decided to chat about the many near-death experiences I’ve had. Some of you called it inspiring. Others sipped on their tea, enjoying the cringe-factor, while reading my personal stories of stupidity. One post, in particular, really sparked alot of interest. The post was titled “I shouldn’t be alive… I could have been aborted.” In the post, I shared about my moms teen pregnancy experience and how she could have chosen to have me aborted. This post meant alot to me because I pretty much went through the exact same experience and now have a wonderful Kyle to show for it. I know that it’s a sensitive topic and it was a bit of a personal share, but I don’t regret it one bit.
Letting him be the man
One year, for women’s month, I wrote a post called “letting him be the man on Women’s Day“. The post was meant to encourage wives to, you know, honor their husbands etc. It basically spoke about how I rely on my own Hubstopher and how much I ENJOY that I can rely on him. In retrospect, the post was great and all that, but totally did not hit the nail on the head, in terms of Women’s Month and the kind of stuff that we are going through, as females in a male-dominated world. A few days after I had posted it, I went back to re-read it (as one does, when one has a psychotic spreadsheet brain) and I just cringed the whole day after that. I’ve decided to leave it up anyways. And now I’m telling you guys about it. So there’s it.
Discrimination in my life
One of my posts is called “When discrimination has nothing to do with race or gender” and speaks about how I often felt discriminated against, because of my religion. Now, firstly, I’m not embarrassed to call myself a born-again Christian. I’m very proud of it. But I must admit, I did feel a bit awkward, posting about such a rife topic. I don’t get into debates about religion or politics, just as a simple rule of thumb. You want to know more? I don’t mind answering questions. But I don’t stir up the offense-pot, if you know what I mean. So this post took a lot of guts to write… and post… and now talk about. Aaack.
Not coping
My “Four kids later and I’m not coping” post was so painful to write, you guys! It was so embarrassing to share the fact that I feel like I’m failing at life. But my blog is my therapy, to a degree, and I needed to put those words somewhere. I was so thankful for the kind messages you guys sent me… the ones that told me I’m not the only one feeling overwhelmed and that I’m doing a good job etc. You guys rock. Truth be told, I STILL don’t feel as if I’m coping. And I wonder if I ever will. I guess we never do… feel like we’re coping, that is. Unless you’re like, Beyonce and Oprah is your mother and she’s married to Nelson Mandela.
His ex is not psycho
So my “his ex is not psycho” got a lot of attention and I had to basically clear up that, hello, I’m not talking about anyone specific. Well, I mean, besides for the specific person that I mention in the post and even so, I feel like I was vague enough for it to not affect the parties involved. Anyways, it was a bit of an embarrassing situation for me, since I am friends with my own ex’s and I realized that the post may have painted them in a bad light. Sometimes a topic really hits home – but is not necessarily something that I have first hand experience with. It kinda made me realize that some people may mistake a blog post as a bit of an upgrade on a subliminal status update. Which is not always the case, I promise.But hey, to be honest you guys, I love that I get to share some of my crazy with you. I do it with the hopes that you can relate and find some sort of solace or inspiration through my story. Or that it’s helped you to take a break from your own crazy world, and have a good ol’ chuckle. Again, thank you for reading.
Without you, I’m just out here monologue-ing and staring into space like a Forester. Thank you for being the beautiful to my bold. (<— that totally just happened by itself and guess what I’m going to leave it there. Embarassing for what?!)
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Life lately: I get it, I can be annoying sometimes
You know those annoying people who are bright and cheery all the time… you know, the type of people you want to throw a stapler at. Well, that’s me. I’m that person. I can be annoying sometimes. I’m bright and perky majority of the time, and I don’t know how to make it stop. Actually, I don’t think I want to make it stop. But I had a brief encounter with a major grump this week and the look of annoyance on his face, at my over the top cheeriness, literally made my inner Jessica Day cringe.
Granted, the bloke isn’t someone in my friendship circle and I fortunately don’t have to deal with him often, at work. But his annoyance at my exuberance (look at all my big words) really cut me for some reason. I even apologized to him for my excessive cheer, saying “I’m so sorry for being annoying all the time”. He grimaced in reply, his facial expression giving off feelings of: “damn straight you are!”
In hindsight, me apologizing for being perky was like me saying “I’m sorry for being who I am”. Or “I’m sorry for not being who you want me to be”. And then it got me thinking… who am I meant to be anyways? Do I want to stay true to myself or do I want to be the type of person who makes other people happy all the time.
Anyways after having a few deep conversations this week, I had a massive revelation about identity and what that even means. I realized that being who God has called me to be is far more important than making people happy or striving to be perfect.
I guess it means if I want to be joyful and cheery, while farting rainbows and glitter and singing songs about love, then that’s exactly what I should do and who I should be! But it also means that if I’m not feeling perky or if I’m not having a good day, it’s okay to show it. I mean, I often “put on the cheeriness”, even on a day when I’m not feeling cheery, because I know that’s what people expect. But by doing so, I’m not staying true to myself. I’m being what other people want me to be. It’s unnatural. It’s tiring. It’s disastrous.
Anyways, said offender emailed me a few days later and I replied with a perky “Hi there, hope you’re well!” even though his initial email did not even offer me a greeting. I was like, take that you grumpy ball of grump, kapow kapow! He probably rolled his eyes at my reply. He probably wishes I would go far away. He probably needs a hug.
And then it hit me: I’m not annoying. He is annoyed. (Kabooom, mind blown!) Just because I don’t fit into his perfect little box of “how people should behave” doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with me or my personality. It just means that he needs a bigger box, maybe.
So whatever your default… whether you’re the serious one or the sporty one or the one who can quote movies. Whether you’re the over the top diva or the business minded analytical thinker or the smart mouthed mover and shaker. Whatever your personality or character traits may be, know that you are the product of a grand design. And trying to cover that up, to please other people, is like rubbing a little bit of “bland” into your uniqueness.
Putting on a mask is sooo last year anyways. Put on the mask of your face rather. Okay that’s just weird. I guess what I’m trying to say is: it’s okay to be the YOU that God created. He kinda knows what He’s doing.
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Can you please stop falling for fake news?!
My friends, I love you. But I seriously need you to stop falling for fake news on the interwebs. I mean, seriously. No, they did not find a mermaid off the coast of Jamaica. And no, there has not been a UFO siting in Japan. And for the love of all that is good, NO, Facebook is not going to delete your account unless you copy and paste a poorly worded status update.
The thing about hoax news is that it can be damaging. That’s right. I said DAMAGING.
Ask the teens, from Durban, who can’t leave home because someone played a prank on them by posting their pics on Facebook with the caption “look out for these two, they are stealing children”. Do you guys know that in India, atleast 20 people have lost their lives due to mob justice because of Facebook hoaxes of this nature?
And what about the mother and daughter whose pic was stolen from a social website, and then used in an article claiming they are having a sexual relationship. Not such a fun time for them, I’m sure. Heck, I’ve even been the target of a Cat-fisher – you know, someone who has used my own photos, to spread lies. It happens. And when we unknowingly share these stories and articles, without checking the facts, we become a catalyst – part of the PROBLEM and not the solution.
And I hear you, friends. You don’t mean to cause harm. You actually want to help out, which is why you’re sharing that article warning your friends not to flicker their head lights at night because it’s a gang initiation. And I totally get where you’re coming from. I mean, sure, I want to be kept informed too.
But if you’re telling me that they attempted to rip a child away from his father, in a mall in Cape Town, you’re making me paranoid about having my own kid ripped from my own arms. What you didn’t tell me is that the guy shoplifted and the undercover security guards were trying to apprehend him.
And sure, I want to know about missing people and want to do my part, by sharing the information. But friends, if the person was found like, 6 years ago, then WHY are we still re-sharing these posts?! Surely there are more urgent reports that need our attention? Checking the date/facts literally takes a couple of minutes.
Please, don’t get me wrong, my lovely friends. I want to be kept informed with the latest news. I really do. But please don’t tell me about impending disasters, fake diseases I can catch in elevators, fake comets about to hit earth and fake reports about poisonous foods on the shelves of our favorite stores if you haven’t double checked the news source and date of the report.
The scary truth is this:
1. Fake news travels faster than real news.
2. The fake news is usually quite horrifying/scary/freaky, and it has the potential to unsettle a large amount of people, unnecessarily.
3. Fake news can create an under-confidence in, say for example, the police force or your local government or even your schooling system. And hey, this isn’t an open door for a debate. I’m not asking you what your thoughts are on these institutions. All I’m saying is, don’t spread lies about it.
4. Fake news comes with a price, you guys. It lowers our trust in actual journalism, it lessens the value of actual scientific research, it damages the reputation of businesses who might not deserve the backlash and it creates a misinformed public who then makes decisions based on the wrong information.
5. It’s just not lekker man.So that’s all I have to say about that. Do the right thing.
Image: Freepik
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My top 5 parenting posts are full of drama
Apparently this space is called a parenting blog. I say “apparently” because when I started blogging I didn’t like, have a formula or a specific niche in mind. I just enjoy talking. And singing. I sometimes sing while I’m talking. But that’s not the point. I have a lot to say, man. And I loved that this blog space allowed me to say what I want, without anyone tell me to be quiet.
I’ve met a bunch of really fabulous mamas while on this blogging journey. Yep, I’m talking about you guys… the ones who message me with tips and tricks when I’m struggling to get my child to make a poo. Or the ones who send me words of encouragement when I act like a pansy about the fact that I’m getting a hair cut. Or the ones who DM me to ask for advice about situations that you’re going through… thank you for choosing me to be your safe space. You guys are amazing.
And hey, thank you for reading. I mean, without you, I’m pretty much just outchere talking to myself (not uncommon, but like, thanks for not letting me man).
Anyways, with this in mind I thought to list some of YOUR top 5 parenting posts, shared on this ol’ blog, over the years. I quite like these too, so you guys have excellent taste. Here they are:
Not worthy for Mother’s DayI often chat about my introduction to parenthood. I mean, I was like, 19 when I gave birth and totally not ready for it. Which is why I so loved the Embrace Motherhood campaign. This campaign is targeted at new moms who, on Mother’s Day, may be feeling overwhelmed, ill-equipt and not worthy to be someone’s mom. That’s exactly how I felt on my first few Mother’s Days. Read more…
Boy or Girl: Fun baby gender prediction testsWhen I found out I was preggers with Jonah, I was more than a little shocked. He was a surprise baby – a blessing on top of a blessing – and we were okay with it being a boy or a girl. Before we got the gender result from the doctor’s blood test, we tried out a bunch of gender prediction tests to see which one would give us the more accurate result. Anyways, turns out Jojo was a… well, a Jojo. As we all know now. But it was so fun to try all of these out while we waited to find out what the gender would be. Read more…
When you’re dating a single momThis post was especially close to my heart. I was a single mom for a few years before I met my Hubstopher and let me tell ya, those were perilous times! It’s so hectic to juggle a love life with being ..errr.. kinda EVERYTHING your child needs, all at the same time! My wise friend once told me: “single mom does not mean single heart!” and that is so true! If you’re a single mom, navigating the treacherous waters of the dating sea, my prayers are with you sister! Read more…
10 Perks of having kids at a young ageI wrote this post a couple of years ago and people still seem to find it relevant (and by “relevant” I mean “awkward but amusing”). I’ll admit, having Kyle at the tender age of 19 was anything BUT amusing. But being able to watch him sail through his teens, while still being a teen myself (cough)… priceless! I highly recommend it. Check the post for terms and conditions though. Read more…
Ever had to deal with that baby mama dramaLook, the traditional family looks a lot different now a days, compare to like, nineteen-voetsek. Blended families are a thing. Being a “baby mama” is not something you only see in movies. And baby mama drama is not uncommon. You know I’m right. What’s my point? Well, what I want to say is that I know what baby mama drama looks like because I am that very same baby mama and I’ve caused drama before. There, I’ve said it. This post resonated with a lot of you. Heck, it STILL resonates with me sometimes. And that’s okay. Read more…
Which of these are your faves? Or which of my other parenting posts hit the nail on the head for you? And, most importantly, what would you like me to chat about next? I’m asking because I sometimes have no cooking-clue what to say and having a little guide would help. Hit me up in the comments section below.
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My top 6 marriage posts will probably make you cringe
Look, I’m just going to be honest about this: marriage is no nap on a hammock, if you know what I mean. There’s no down time… no vacation… you don’t get to take a break from each other. It’s a little bit annoying, very much comforting, and a lot of trying to remind yourself that you actually are a whole other person, all by yourself, when your husband is not around.
Well, I’ve shared ALOT about my marriage on this blog. And if you had to go by my blog post titles you’d think that my Hubstopher and I really hate each other. This could not be further from the truth. I mean… sure, there have been challenges. But we’ve also experience a lot of wins. And I guess that’s what makes it worth it… because we go through the challenges together and we experience the wins together.
Anyways, in light of oversharing, I thought to list the top 6 marriage posts that I’ve shared on this blog. I mean, I talk alot. We all know that. But Google Analytics says that these are some of the marriage-related things that you guys enjoyed hearing me talk about.
Who really wins when you give him the silent treatmentYou guys seemed to really relate with this post… I mean, come on, we’re all experts at giving our hubbies the cold shoulder. How else will the man learn?! But, as I’ve discovered (and I’ll quote from the post): “Silent treatment is pretty much a bundle of poop in the bath water of your marriage.”
Now, coming from a mama who has literally had to scoop pieces of poop out of Jonah’s bath water the other day, let me tell you, poop in bath water is not your friend! It’s messy. It floats everywhere. It gets stuck in between toes. Remember that, the next time you give him the silent-violent treatment. Read more…
“Being married sucks!” I told him
We’ve all been there, we’ve all had moments of intense frustration, within our marriage. You know what I’m talking about Barb… those intensely frustrating moments where you just don’t want to see each other’s faces because you’re that intensely frustrated.
I mean, that’s why this post was so popular. The truth is this: marriage does not suck. But as people, we have the capacity to, uhh, suck, when we aren’t considerate and aware of how we’re making each other feel. And when you’re not putting your spouse first, chances are they’ll think that YOU suck. We all want to feel loved and special and chosen and important. I try to remember that through the arguments and especially when I have my moments of “being married sucks!” Read more…
What do you do when husband says no to the dressOoh girl! The drama! When I wrote this post, a while ago, some women were not impressed that I allow my husband to tell me what I can and can’t wear. They totally misunderstood my intention behind the post.
I mean, I wasn’t saying that the guy beats me into submission and that I don’t wear certain things because I fear him. No ways. I honor him. I want to please him. And I want him to want to please me too. And so, if he feels that the dress is too short, then I won’t wear it. And that’s that. You can read more about my decision and make up your own mind about yours. Read more…
Hubstopher’s near death experienceYou guys know that I thrive in silly moments. My life is a sitcom, ya’ll. So I just HAD to share my husbands “near death experience” with you. It involved a dimly lit restaurant, freshly manicured nails and a very confused boyfriend who was as oblivious as only a man can be.
Needless to say, he is still very much alive, and we’ve moved on from this moment. But it has now become our party trick, when people share silly stories at braais. Read more…
Dear husband, you’re not doing a good jobThis post really hit home with a lot of you, because we all have psycho tendencies.
Whatever, Patricia, you can look at me like that. You know you’ve had these moments too.
We honestly expect our intelligent husbands to JUST KNOW how we feel. Right? They must figure things out. I mean, duh, the information is right there infront of them anyways! But ladies, let me tell you something, they STILL need us to spell it out for them. Well that’s what I learnt. Read more…
He must be cheating on meThis one got so much attention, I had people calling me up to ask me who my husband is cheating on me with. Firstly, do you guys not actually click on the link to read the WHOLE post?
Secondly, I often write something that is not necessarily related to me, but it is applicable to someone I know who is going through something. OR I’ve been there and my heart is heavy enough with the burden, that I want to share.
Lastly, it’s a flippen good topic and I’m glad so many of you contacted me via inbox and comments. We sometimes get shy and timid about our fierceness because we are told that we need to look a certain way and do certain things in order to be perceived as beautiful or accomplished. What rubbish! This post dispels all of that and writing it has definitely brought me some form of release. Read more…
So there you have it… some of my top marriage related posts. I love sharing my heart with you guys. It brings me freedom to get to work through my own short falls, by putting it out there on the blog. I mean, this is a great way to be held accountable, yo! So I hope that this has blessed you as much as it has me!
Which of these posts are your favorite?
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His ex is not psycho
If you’re a female and you’ve had your fair share of relationship drama, chances are you’ve been labelled “psycho” or “psychotic” once or twice in your life.
No doubt by a fuming ex-boyfriend who is desperately seeking bravado and/or redemption in the eyes of his easily entertained group of friends and/or his easily influenced new love interest.
I mean, he needs to let them know that he is better off without you. And the new love interest needs to know that she is, duh, a gazillion times better than you are. And, more importantly, the man needs to feel like “the man”. I get it. (Not really)
But why she got to be psycho, bruh?
And hey, new girlfriend, do you honestly believe that the irrevocable breakdown of their relationship was all due to his ex turning “Gone Girl” on him? The truth is this, ladies, his ex is not psycho.
Heartbroken, probably. Trying to heal, most likely. Still getting over the breakdown of their relationship, definitely. But psycho? I can’t say I agree.
“Why the monologue, Luchae?!” I hear you cry out in confusion and amusement. Well, allow me to explain: The other night I had a convo with a very troubled young lady who had recently been through a break up. I mean, the girl was totally cut up. But she was especially hurt that her ex referred to her as psycho. I mean, I can vouch for this girl. She is smart, beautiful, compassionate and has all her ducks in a row. On a scale of one to Joffrey Baratheon, she’s probably a -8 on the psycho barometer. I mean, she’s totally a Stark, if we’re going to talk GOT.
And yet she was called psycho by a seething ex who thought that the girl had no right to message him a week after the break up because she was hurting. He did not want her to talk to his friends. And he did not understand why she was still emotionally attached to certain things that they had shared when they were together.
Did I mention that they had been broken up for less than a month after a very lengthy relationship?
So this girl – my friend, Lady Stark – was meant to, you know, strip herself of all emotion and sentimentality the minute he decided that he was over the relationship. Lady Stark had to immediately – IMMEDIATELY – be devoid of all feelings for him regardless of the emotional investment she had poured into the relationship.
If you had to ask me (which you didn’t but here I am, still giving you my opinion), HE was acting a tad bit psychotic. HE was the psycho. I mean, come on, we are human beings and we all process differently. Maybe you need a week to get over it, but bruh, I need six months. Does that make me psychotic? No. It makes me human. You go on ahead and be the Robocop of the feelings world. But allow me to keep it real, stay true to myself and more importantly HEAL the way I need to.
Anyways, my point (I do have one, somewhere in my handbag, sorry I really need to clean this thing out) is this: Ladies, if your new boo calls his ex psycho, please ask him to stop. She does not deserve it. And neither do you. You don’t need him to insult her, in order to lift you up. And hey, even if she does some questionable things due to hosting a broken heart (don’t look at me like that, you know we’ve all been there), be gracious at all times. Be kind. Be strong enough to look past her temporary moment of weakness.
Don’t be the woman that allows a man to break another woman down! Especially when it’s uncalled for and unnecessary. We’ve given men the power to speak things over us for far too long! Well, I say: NO MORE!
At the end of the day, at some level or other, we’re all somebody’s ex… somebody’s “one that got away”… somebody’s “biggest mistake of my life”. But more than that, ladies, we’re all sisters.
Flawed, maybe. But psycho, definitely not.
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5 reasons why you need to stop asking me to have another baby
It’s no secret, we have more children than members of Destiny’s Child. I mean, if you told me a couple of years ago that my reign in the ‘Single Mommy Hood’ would be short-lived and replaced with a full on explosion of many children, I would’ve laughed at you. But years later, here I sit stretch mark bedecked and permanently exhausted due to the fact that I seem to enjoy buying nappies. (Kidding) And yet, people still ask me when I’m popping out the next little Williams. Bless their hearts. But seriously guys, you need to stop asking me to have another baby. Here’s why:
Mommy incubator
I am more than just my ovaries, you guys! I must admit, having Jo and Kari so close after each other has taken a serious toll on my body. Like, I have problems that were not problems before. But, health aside, I also miss the superficial things. You know, like being able to fit into basically every item of clothing that I owned pre-Karis. As much as I love being pregnant (and I don’t take this gift for granted at all), after popping out 3 kids, I definitely love being not pregnant a whole lot more.School fees
Consider paying school fees for one child. Now multiply that by 4. That is all.
(Hahahaha, joking, that isn’t all. We also have to buy food and clothes and pay for extra murals and medical aid and trips to the movies. Joy.)Quality time, shmality time
The last time I held my husbands hand was last week when he had to pull me up from the bathroom floor, because I slipped on someone’s something. It’s the toys, you guys! They’ve taken over my house! But besides for that, there is ALWAYS something that needs to be picked up, or cleaned, or sorted out. I miss the days where my Hubstopher and I could be romantic on the couch, without like, a Barbie doll staring at me, in judgement and disdain.Car seat ooh na na
So if you have many children and only one car, consider what that means if you’re wanting all of them to be buckled in safely and correctly at the same time. It has seriously become a huge problem for us. I know… buy a bigger car. Sure thing, Scrooge McDuck, let me quickly take a swim through my many fortunes and gather some money to do this. #realtalk #reallife #goawaySomebody call Dr Phil…
I don’t want to give my children issues, okay? We try to make all four of them feel loved and noticed and important. It’s no small feat, yo. I mean, Kari is a little jealous if Jo gets too much attention. And then Seth only sleeps over on weekends, so he should surely get as much attention as possible right? But then, Kyle is now in full blown teenager mode and we don’t want to make him feel left out. Its cray cray, ya’ll! Add one more to this mix? Uhhh…I do believe we have reached maximum capacity. I mean, we may have our hands full, but we’re managing somehow. (God. It has to be God.) And yes, I definitely do want to consider adopting at some point (in the far, far future), but as for right now? We’re good, thanks.
Header image taken by Cutepix Photography For more, check out their website.
