-
Teach your child the correct terms for private body parts
The other day Kari and I spoke about private body parts and it made me realize that I was not prepared for the conversation! My toddler is a precocious almost-3 year old who asks #allthequestions and says whatever comes to mind. We are actually quite proud of the fact that she has been able to string whole sentences together, at an early age. So when she wanted to know about the difference between her and her baby brother’s genitals, I realized that I could either faff around and make up ‘snuggly wuggly buggly’ names for it, or I could nip it in the bud and call a spade a spade. So to speak.
I explained to her that a boys private body part is called a penis and a girls is called a vagina and that it is a special area of our bodies, off limits to everyone else! Sheesh – I didn’t think I’d be giving the whole ‘sexual predators talk’ this early. But she is my very first daughter (not that boys are immune, yo) and I wanted to empower her. In fact, teaching your child the standard terms for all of their body parts are important. Yep, even the tough ones like vulva and scrotum. This is particularly helpful in safe guarding your kid against abuse because they begin to view each body part in a serious light, rather than as an awkward, embarrassing topic that should be avoided.
Psychologists (and I’m going to link relevant articles at the bottom to show you guys that I’m not making this up while sipping on my tea) agree that your kid is less likely to tell you if someone is acting inappropriately with them, if they feel embarrassed about their bodies and about talking openly about it. The correct names of their private body parts should not be viewed as a naughty word. In fact, knowing the correct language helps the child in a case where sexual abuse has taken place.Your children need to know that their private body parts are the same as any other body part, except that they are private and important. BUT they are still good, acceptable body parts and not “oopsie” areas. Perpetrators are usually more wary if a child is body conscious. Another article suggests that by ensuring that you only use the correct names for their private areas, it should immediately set off red flags if your kid comes home referring to them with pet names instead. (i.e. where are they hearing this from) By using the correct term, when referring to them, gives your child permission to talk about their genitals freely, should they have a concern.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this, mums. What do you refer to private areas as, when talking to your little one?
These websites offer more insight:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/going-beyond-intelligence/201703/call-children-s-private-body-parts-what-they-are
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/8-reasons-not-to-call-your-childs-genitals-pet-names_us_58743186e4b0eb9e49bfbec3
https://www.today.com/parents/just-say-vagina-using-correct-body-part-names-empowers-kids-6C9551650 -
Bath time with Baby Dove
As is the tradish, Curly and I did our monthly pamper, this time with the new Baby Dove range. I usually enjoy the banter that goes with it. But much to my dismay, the convo quickly went South – literally – as my 2 (almost 3) year old starting asking questions about our nether regions. I literally sat there thinking, woah this escalated quickly, how can I escape?! BUT I took it like a pro and answered her honestly and as clearly as possible. -
Are you an angry mom?
My children make me angry. There, I said it. Oh, sorry, your kids are perfect little poppets and you walk around sniffing roses whole day? That’s great. My children are not angels and I am a human being too, so I can’t relate. Look, I’m not saying that I live my life in permanent “angry mom” mode. Our home is not a war zone and I smile a lot more than I frown, I promise. But sometimes you need to bust out your inner ‘angry mom’ to get the job done. Are you an angry mom too?
When Angry Mom comes, she brings the thunder! Her voices changes and she even growls on occasion. You feel the thunder whether her answer is a cool “no.” or if she spends an hour explaining why you were wrong and what you should have done instead, using as many descriptive words as possible.
Yes, Angry Mom can come across as a tad bit irrational. Her ability to piece together coherent sentences completely overridden by the sheer disbelief of her child’s actions. “Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me!” followed by “answer me when I’m speaking!” or (my personal favorite) “The answer is no because I said so” regardless of the actual reason why the answer is no.Angry Mom is able to contort her face to make the most scariest facial expressions to correctly emphasize her anger. Flaring nostrils, glaring eyes and flushed cheeks blazing! If you are, what I’d like to call, “next level angry mom” (i.e. Angry Mom 2.0) you are able to control your Angry Mom face in public, giving your child a facial expression that says the things you are not able to say out loud… livid on the inside, polite smile on the outside. It’s a skill, really.
But jokes aside, I hate being Angry Mom. I feel like ‘angry mom’ overrides ‘fun mom’ and no one wants to be the uncool parent. I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum – super duper Angry Mom (cape, mask and all) and I’ve been really passive mom. And at the end of the day, I found that my kids actually want me to discipline them. If you read your ‘Parenting Gig’ contract, you’ll find the Angry Mom clause right at the bottom, in fine print. Yep, it is a requirement, to some degree. Disciplining your kid is a requirement. They need it – rely on it even – more than you know! Discipline shows that we care, allows them to learn and reiterates that we are in charge and we know what is best for them!And hey, remember that “discipline” does not mean “punishment”. Discipline is done out of love, to teach and grow. I always remind myself to be mindful of my words – they offer instruction and correction BUT they also have the power to tear down. So I guess what I’m trying to say is, be the Angry Mom, but like, the sober Batman version… don’t go Hulk on them. We don’t want to scar the children for life.
-
A tale of diarrhea and Pediasure Complete {Giveaway!}
I never thought I’d ever have to supplement my toddler’s meals with formula… until the night that she pooped in my bed and the smell woke my 2 month old baby up. Yes, that’s my opening line and I’m sticking with it. It was a messy affair – one that I’m sure many moms have had to endure atleast once in their lives. But it’s even more terrible when your usually energetic child is suddenly weak and unable to eat or hold anything in. In a fortunate turn of events, Pediasure Complete had just sent me a gift that contained a tin of their nutrient-rich, lactose free powder. The supplement provides balanced nutrition for kids aged three to ten, who are experiencing growth challenges or who are not getting a balanced diet in. -
When and how to praise your child
Being a parent means putting yourself out there for every conceivable bit of advice, input and, sometimes, criticism from others. It’s so hard to know what the ‘right’ thing to do is. So, often, we choose the right thing for us. And that’s not a bad thing. But, a little advice can go a long way, especially when we haven’t felt our ‘right’ yet. -
Breastfeeding is a pain in the boob
Breastfeeding is a pain in the, well, boob. Yes, as I said the other day, it IS glorious and magical and makes you feel as if you’re floating on a rainbow cloud surrounded by glitter unicorns and chocolate waterfalls. But also it’s a pain in the boob. In a literal way actually, since your breasts experience quite
somea lot of pain at some point of your breastfeeding journey. And yet, we carry on, pushing through the pain and discomfort; ignoring silent side eyes given in shopping malls and the need to sleep as we power through 3am pumping sessions. We carry on because the pain in the boob act of breastfeeding is, quite honestly, one of the biggest miracles of being a mom!It wasn’t all sparkly for me when I started my breastfeeding journey though. Mainly because it hurts, guys. Well, in the beginning, anyways. And not a “oh I have a headache in my boob” kind of pain. Nope, during the first few latches, the pain is a toe-curling, deep down in your soul, kind of pain. And then, when you’re over the worst and you’re finally comfortable with having a baby physically attached to your breast, you have to face your next hurdle: breastfeeding in public. This was the most mentally challenging part for me, yo. I cringed every time I had to whip my boob out in front of other people (even though “in front of” actually means “discreetly hidden behind a super stylish breastfeed cover”).
Pumping milk was another challenge. Man, when I see cows being milked, a piece of my heart goes out to them because my pain is their pain. Maybe it’s the act of knowing that you’re doing something that should be happening naturally. Or maybe it’s the staring into oblivion as you listen to the rhythmic buzz of your breast pump. Maybe it’s the feeling of having something pull at your nipple or the packing and unpacking of all the equipment and meticulous way you need to store and look after your expressed milk. All I know is: Moms who pump regularly should receive a medal of honor!Fortunately the Medela Harmony hand pump and the Medela electric have been total lifesavers. I actually used my Harmony while on a flight to Cape Town. Yep, right there, in my seat, under my breastfeed cover, pumping away as the air hostess (who happened to be male) asked me whether I wanted milk in my tea. (Oh the irony) Someone needs to hand me my Noddy Badge immediately.
Oh and let’s not even mention the worry that you might not pump enough milk for the following days feeds. What you eat is extremely important and if you’re on a strict diet, good luck Chuck, because you’re starving half the time anyways!So yes breastfeeding is a pain in the boob. It is more than just a nipple in a child’s mouth. It’s a commitment, a tolerance and a sacrifice… but the very best kind!
Weird how we even fight for the right to do this one thing that is so physically demanding and mentally draining. That’s because the pain in the boob act of breastfeeding does not compare to its rewards. It’s totally worth it. And no matter what your breastfeeding challenge is, you will always feel like a rock star when your kid’s pediatrician weigh’s him and says “oh wow, that’s a healthy weight”. The painful nips and 3am pump session a forgotten memory as you hide a smile and quietly tell yourself “yeah, that’s all ME, boo”.
(Clip note, I never actually use the term “boo” in real life, but that last sentence felt like it needed some gangsta.)
Disclaimer: I do believe that “FED is best” and I salute all those moms who have powered through formula feeds because that in itself holds a lot of challenges and rewards, so big ups to you. But this week is in celebration of World Breastfeeding Week, so mention must be given to those who breastfeed.
-
My breast milk is better than yours
I don’t know about you ladies but I am feeling particularly magical today. Why? Well, because it’s World Breastfeeding Week (Aug 1 – 7) and to commemorate, I read up a whole bunch of fascinating facts about breastfeeding and breast milk. I love that we were designed to nourish our infants. I love that my milk contains everything my kid would need in the first few years of his life. And I love that my body knows what to do and when to do it (except for that one time in Pick n Pay, when I sneezed and milk came out). Anyways, my body knows what’s up, okay? Just believe me, you won’t regret it. But hey, enough chit chat, check out these facts, Jack:
Your breast milk has magical powers
Okay, not magical powers per say, but it IS rich in vitamins and minerals, amino acids, enzymes, white cells, carbohydrates and fats (but like, the good ones) and more than 80% of water. Did you know that your mommy milk can apparently clear up eczema, eye infections and even heal cracked nipples? In fact, it contains antibodies that provide baby with natural immunity to any illnesses that you are immune to.Your breast milk changes at night
Yes, I am implying that your breast milk is a superhero. According to studies by researchers in Spain,night time breast milk is rich in tryptophan – a sleep inducing amino acid. In a nutshell, the more your kid gets the better his sleep cycle will be. Sounds like a superhero to me.Your breast milk matures with age
Much like a fine wine, your mommy milk actually changes as your kids needs change. So when your toddler needs that extra dose of immune boosters, your breast milk is all topped up with it, ready for action. I think it’s so cool that premature babies moms can produce milk that is just right for them – containing MORE calories, protein, sodium and all that other good stuff that they need. Makes you say WOW, right?Baby kisses changes your milk
So this is one that I enjoyed reading about: kissing your baby will help to boost their immune system! In a nutshell, when you smooch your little one, you sample or pick up pathogens on your kid’s skin, which is transferred to your lymphatic system. This is where you produce antibodies. The antibodies are then passed on to your baby via your breast milk. Ta daaaaa!!! So basically you’re a mommy ninja, knocking germs out one smooch at a time. I know, right?.It’s good for you too
Did you know that the longer a woman breastfeeds, the lower her risk becomes of getting ovarian and breast cancer, heart disease, and osteoporosis. I also read that breastfeeding helps your body to recover from pregnancy and childbirth more quickly. And yes, that may include weight loss. Currently: Feeding my baby and waiting around for my Baywatch beach bod to appear in a poof of smoke.There’s a bunch of other amazing facts about breastfeeding and breast milk over on these websites: Beautiful Breastfeeding and Conservamom.
Happy Breastfeeding Week to you, Super Mom!
Disclaimer: I do believe that “FED is best” and I salute all those moms who have powered through formula feeds because that in itself holds a lot of challenges, so big ups to you. But this week is in celebration of World Breastfeeding Week Aug 1 – 7, so mention must be given to those who have chosen to breastfeed.
-
Extra-murals and the toddler – worth the spend?
Is it just me or has there been a sudden increase in extra-mural activity options for our young ones? I mean, what happened to good ol’ ballet and karate classes? We’ve super-saiyaned guys, and our kids can literally learn how to bake after school on any given afternoon. With that said, I love my kids and as much as I want them to learn #allthethings I don’t know if it’s worth the spend.
We’ve been prompted to have the kideos join a local “monkeynastix” or “action ball” group. I mean, it seemed pretty exciting. Until I heard how much it costs. Sure, it’ll be great for the kid, but not so much for my grocery budget. So instead of catching feelings, about being the worst mom in the world, for not allowing my kid to learn how to catch a ball, I did some further investigating.I found out that toddler gymnastics and ball training activities are pretty easy and I could probably teach them to my kid, in the comfort of my very own backyard. But guys, guess what, kids learn through play – just like how we did “back in the day” when physical play was the norm. It reminded me that we need to get out with our kids more often. They need to build their little muscles through free play by learning to climb and jump and run and hop. They seriously don’t need a special class to teach them how to do those things. Sure there are perks such as socialisation and building core strength. But hey if you can’t afford it (me, I can’t) and your kid is getting enough physical play in, your child will be okay. I promise.
I will be enrolling my little’s for swimming lessons though. I was reminded of the importance thereof today, after reading Simone’s post about the near-drowning of her toddler. But other than that I’d much rather wait it out and see what my kid’s are interested in. I mean, I’m not going to send them for computer classes if they want to learn how to paint. We’re a family of music lovers, so “kindermusiek” or “Dance Kids” maybe? Well, we will cross that bridge when we get there (or is there a class for that too? hehe)Anyways, moms, what are your experiences with toddler extra-mural activities? Share your wisdom with us in the comment section below.
-
They said it would be easier… they lied
Whoop, there it is! You know… the “mom feelings” that tends to get all over the place while you’re trying to live your life. They have officially moved in. I thought that I had escaped it and that things would be different with this, my third baby. They said it would be easier this time around. I should be a pro by now! Somebody call Felicia Mabuza-Suttle… I deserve a feature already! Well, that’s what I thought anyways… until I realized that I had been catching mom feelings, yet again. And suddenly I was a pro no more.
Back story
If you hang out around here a lot you’ll know that the birth of my first two kids was extremely different. I mean, besides for the lack of husband or maturity that was prevalent when I gave birth to Kyle, more than 16 years ago, I also remember feeling really unprepared and inexperienced (which I was).It was a bit different when Kari was born. I was super duper “spreadsheet brain” prepared to the nineteenth degree of Oprah. I had read all the books, followed all the blogs, registered on all the websites. I mean, I could practically tell my OBGYN how to deliver my baby for me.
But as much as there were differences with my first two births, there were a lot of similarities too. I mean, when Kari was born it reminded me of the overwhelming sense of “this is my baby!” that I experienced when I saw Kyle for the first time, all those years ago. Those mommy feelings catch you unaware and you’re suddenly filled with an explosion of love, purpose and dedication to this tiny human. And it was the same with baby Jo – He’s mine! My baby!But, I must be honest, I was secretly hoping that those other mommy feelings would not follow too. I mean, with this smorgasbord of mom life surely I get to have a choice, right?
Well there were some things that I did NOT want, thank you very much. Things like getting so emotionally attached to your child that hearing him cry in the next room makes your heart jump out of its chest (and your boobs leak). And things like having second (and third and fourth) doubts about getting that babysitter, for a night out, because you can’t bare to leave your baby with someone else.
And let’s not even get into the dreaded “aaack my maternity leave is almost over and now my heart is broken” feeling. I did not want that. Thanks, but no thanks. Put it away, Penelope! I wanted to be independent of all those mommy emotions. I had planned to get out of bed, jet off to work, kick butt and take names (and all those other really cool ways to say that you did a good job today), without sitting and pining at my desk hoping that my little one is not missing me as much as I miss him.
And then, this morning, as I was staring at my beautiful Jo, I had to come to terms with the fact that I can’t escape it – I am his mommy! And yes, I have caught deep and heavy feelings. I’m utterly enamored with this fat cheeked boy! And I’m going to enjoy every minute of this feeling.It is in this vulnerability and weakness where we find our true mommy grit. That deep sense of compassion, fierce need to overprotect and overwhelming feeling of being inlove with this tiny human being who can’t even wipe their own bums yet… that right there is what ties you to this little heart. No one can love your child like you can.
So no, it never gets easier! Being a mommy never gets easier. Because the load is never light. Loving your kids will always weigh heavy on your heart and fill you with the deepest sense of belonging. And I’m okay with it.
-
Snazzy new Tommee Tippee sippee cups made this mama happy
So if you guys recall, I previously chatted about the Tommee Tippee sippee cups and how moms around the world claimed that these non-spill cups were prone to mold build up. Pictures circulated the net and the drama was rife. As you can believe, some moms were down right furious, while others were willing to give the popular baby brand another try. I fell into the latter group because I had always been a huge fan of their stuff. Their Closer To Nature bottles were a lifesaver when I struggled to transition Curly from breast to bottle. Sure, the hard to clean non-spill valves on the sippee cup was a concern for me too, but surely the clever people over at Tommee Tippee would do something about it. Right? Well…
