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Free The Smart Talk app helps to control your kids screen time
Have you guys heard of the The Smart Talk? It’s a really cool (free) interactive platform that provides tools for parents to set online security rules, for their kids. I mean, let’s face it, data safety and identity safety is a big deal right now (remember the time that I was catfished?) Have you considered the fact that you need to control your kids screen time?
We’ve been especially trusting when it comes to Kyle and his online activity. I mean, I don’t even really check his cellphone. And the thing is, no one wants to be the parent who launches into a full on FBI investigation when it comes to your kids electronic devices. It can be useful to keep a service like LifeLock (who partnered with National PTA to put together the Smart Talk site) running in the background incase your child’s online identity was compromised without you noticing. Oversharing has become the new norm (and I can say this, because you’re reading my blog right now, point and case). We should be talking to our kids about the potential dangers of social media and we should be monitoring their device usage. We need to be setting rules for our kids wrt screen time, what they are watching and who they are able to be in communication with.
And that’s why I really love the idea behind The Smart Talk platform. The website is really easy to navigate and creates opportunity for you and your child to determine what their online boundaries should be. Things like screen time (when is it allowed, and for how long etc), social media and even apps and which downloads are permissible, is taken into account.At the end of the little survey, you and your child enter into an official family agreement, that sets certain rules in place. The agreement is personalized and printable and you guys can sign on it, to make it official. Stick it up on on your fridge, as a friendly reminder, to help safe guard your kid against the perps of the online world, and hey, to empower them to be smart digital citizens.
What do you guys think about this? Have you set any boundaries in place wrt screen time? Drop your thoughts and pieces of advice in the comment section below.
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I get why it’s illegal for parents to spank their kids
It is the year 2017. A time where we keep our front doors locked, in the peak of summer. A time where it makes perfect sense to jump a red robot at 2am, because you never know who might rock up at your window. A time where we’re afraid to eat the chicken in case it has flu. And a time where it has become illegal for parents to spank their children.
Oh the shock! The horror! The outrage! We should be allowed to spank our kids! I hear you say. You’re right. I mean, why ban corporal punishment in the home? What does this even mean?!
Well, no, it does NOT mean that the Johannesburg High Court has decided to “keep up with the Kardashians” and is now feeling as if corporal punishment is like, soooo, not on trend at the moment. In case you didn’t know, the term “corporal punishment” basically refers to any punishment which uses physical force to bring about pain or discomfort. And alas, the percentage of parents who have severely injured their kids, under the guise of ‘giving a good spanking’ are just too high. Their lack of anger management means that the high court has to step in, in order to protect our kiddos.
So, as much as I agree that it sucks. (I mean, have you read my “angry mom” post? I like, SO, want to be able to give my kids a spanking without being charged for assault.) But let me remind you about the gross injustice so many of our young South Africans face, on a daily basis, at the hands of family members and parents who are suppose to care for them, and not hurt them.
This affects all of us and the way we raise our children. I mean, let’s be honest, a large percentage of us South African parents know when to draw the line between punishment and assault, when it comes to giving our kids a spanking. But unfortunately, the High Court has to stick up for the kids of the parents who kinda don’t.
So that’s where we are at, South Africa. Our children deserve better.
What are your thoughts on the new law?
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Myang sun hats brings the shade this summer
Myang did what I thought would be impossible: they made my seriously adorable kids look even more seriously adorable. Seriously. Well I already knew that the proudly South African boutique are stockists of the most delightful baby and toddy accessories and clothes. But when when I opened a package containing their newest edition, funky sun hats, I literally “aacked” out loud. (AOL?) -
Going tutu with KidCoCo {Giveaway!}
My girl goes tootoos for tutus! Seriously. It’s the first thing she grabs when she wakes up each morning. Her special collection is lovingly referred to as her “pwincess skirts” and guys, even if the hair aint brushed and the face aint washed, when she wears her tutu she believes that she IS a princess. So can you imagine the excitement when Salma of KidCoCo sent over a special package just for her? KidCoCo is one of my fave local kiddies boutiques and as a semi-pro at tutu buying, I would just like to officially state that the new KidCoCo tutu skirts are of the highest caliber, as far as tutu skirts go.
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When you’re not exactly the perfect parent
This week I had to make peace with the fact that I’m not always a “perfect parent”. Let me explain: I know that children are a beautiful gift unto our wombs and all of that, but I’ve been feeling especially overwhelmed lately. The need to be the perfect parent seemed to be clashing with the fact that, oh look, I’m a human being too. Has this ever happened to you?
This past week, a vast majority of my household cautiously clambered their way out of
the pit ofthe worst case of gastro known to man. Just when I thought things would return to normal baby Jo then developed a really bad case of thrush. The thrush infection quickly escalated, eventually infecting his digestive tract. My baby boy could not hold a feed in for three days straight. Picture me driving like a crazy lady between work and my sister’s house, as I try to balance being a mother versus having a job.As if that wasn’t enough, Kari seemed to be particularly energetic this week. Her levels were peaking last night, while we tried to ‘shush’ her during the speeches at an event. Guys, let’s just say, I made a speech while she was tugging on me, while loudly (and obnoxiously) letting everyone know that she wants a blue cupcake immediately please. The beautiful thing about having a baby while trying to raise a toddler is that you can’t lose your ish, even though you really want to. Oh wait, did I say “beautiful thing”? I meant to use the words “crazy mess”.
When I eventually got home with my sick kid, my needy kid and my teenage kid, I had to nurse a headache the size of the iceberg that hit the Titanic. Except that I felt like the Titanic in this situation. It was at this point that I decided that I want to toss out of adulting altogether. I wasn’t in the mood to cook a healthy meal. I didn’t want to tidy the house or make sure my children were bathed. I wasn’t keen on reading them bedtime stories or checking homework.So I didn’t.
I felt like a loser parent, I’m not going to lie to you. I mean, I should be doing this better, somehow. But then I realized that I need to give myself a flippen break man! I’m not a “perfect parent”. Heck, I probably wouldn’t be one, even if I busted by chops trying! And anyways, I’m sure my kids aren’t looking for super mom. They just want to be loved (and for me to turn on my wifi hotspot now and then). Those are two things I definitely can work my way around doing. So I ended up giving the minis a quick wash, got them into PJ’s and camped out in my room with blankets and tea. Kyle made sandwiches for supper (gasp, somebody call child services) as Kari and I watched ‘Storks’ for the umpteenth time. My “perfect parent” theory nothing more than a puff of smoke as I feel the steady breathing of my sleeping baby, against me. All was right with the world. We were okay. I did what I could for today. Tomorrow, we try again.
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So what’s my role in my childs education?
As a parent you have the added benefit of being involved in your kids schooling. I’m using the word ‘benefit’ loosely… hey, don’t give me that look Margaret, I’m not a fan of homework. But I often wonder what my role is in my children’s education. Besides for paying exhorbitant amounts of school fees, that is. Am I meant to be helping my son build the Eiffel Tower out of matchsticks? (Seriously, who comes up with some of these assignments?!) And should I be checking his homework? How can I help my kids get the most out of their schooling? Here’s what a couple of clever people suggested:
Get to know his teachers
Teachers… meh. Kidding! Teachers are wonderful and, contrary to popular belief, often appreciate it when parents show more interest. If your kid is struggling with a subject, or if you’d like to find out how to help them excel in a particular area, chat to the subject teacher. Chances are you might score some study material out of them and tips that could give your kid an idea on how to prep for that exam or assignment.Do homework
I feel like this is a given, but also, I don’t waaaaant to. Having to deal with my kid’s homework is giving me second degree school nightmares. But parents, seriously, the simple act of checking up on them while they do after school work will create a sense of accountability and might even encourage the child to be more intentional with their homework. The aim of homework is to effectively help your child to practice what they’ve learnt in class. It should also point out areas that needs to be worked on. Use it, don’t use it. (Use it… you really should) A clever teacher once advised me that there is no such thing as “I don’t have homework”. There is always an opportunity for your child to practice what they’ve learnt during class that day.Step away from the assignments
I’m going to be real… I can’t not get involved with my kid’s school assignments! The OCD in me refuses to take a chair when Kyle comes home with class projects that require heavy detail and/or any form of designing or creating. Aaack! I mean, what does he know about making the solar system out of styrofoam? I can do it so much better, right? Except that if you don’t give your kid the centre stage in the crafting of his own assignments, he’ll never learn anything.Flash cards
If you’re committed to the cause, a great way to test your kid’s knowledge is by making use of flash cards to help them prep for tests and quizes. And hey, double your points by enlisting the child to design and create their own flash cards! It creates another opportunity for them to get the work into their heads. Getting them invested in the project, and even simply writing the work down, really helps with committing information to memory.Draw up study schedules
Kyle has only recently realized the benefit of having a well thought out study schedule. The study schedule can take into account the amount of days left to study, as well as the amount of work that must be consumed. Remember to pencil in revision time as well. I love using old exam papers to help Kyle revise. I often design my own practice test papers and set up a mock exam room for him. The practice test would normally look similar to previous exam papers, and it would be timed as well.Talk it out
I’ve found that my kid retains more knowledge if he understands and is geniunely interested in the subject at hand. With that said, I’ve tricked him into learning his work by simply engaging in a conversation about it. One year, he aced an exam based on Ancient Egypt, simply because it had become the topic of conversation during supper, for a whole week. #parenthack See? Parents are clever too.Do you have any cool/clever/easy tips to share with us wrt helping your kid get the most out of their schooling? What do you feel is a parents role during school years?
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Car seats suck
Yeah yeah yeah, I hear you. If you don’t strap your kid in, you’re basically the worst kind of parent in the world. But the truth is that car seats suck. They are an inconveniencing pain in the neck. I am not best friends with the idea behind having to lug this thing around from car to car, just to make sure that my child is safe during the two minutes that it takes to drive from our house to the shop. If you’re a pro-car seats “I love my car seat soo friggen much” mom, good for you. This post is not for you. This post is for the rest of us, who think that car seats suck.
Look, I may be a tad bit dramatic (give or take a soap box or two) but I’ve been feeling especially overwhelmed since the addition of our newest baby. I mean, in my mommy bubble, car seats seem to be sucking even more lately, now that we have to have TWO installed. Kari will be turning three soon, and since baby Jo‘s arrival, there is little to no back seat space if both kiddies are strapped in. Oh, shall I remind you that when Seth is over, we have to make sure that all four of our kids are secure, when we’re travelling? It’s extremely fun.
I feel like getting from point A to point B is hard enough – with a crying baby, bored two year old and teenage son who wants to know “are we there yet”. Why must you make my life even more difficult, car seat?
But ‘mom-who-hates-car-seats’, just like you, I feel the mom guilt too. You know? That nagging feeling in the back of your mind that rebukes you for hating car seats because it could mean the life or death of your little child. We know that car seats are needed. Doesn’t mean we think it sucks less. And that’s why I am posting this today. Because I want you – ‘mom-who-has-a-lot-on-her-plate-already’ – to know that I hear you. I feel your pain. Nope, you are not a failure for hating the fact that you need to strap your kid in. You are not a loser mom, for detesting every single minute of having to lug your toddler’s car seat from one car to the other. Nope. You are human. And you are a super star for doing the right thing. We need to keep encouraging each other (hey, me too, yo!) to push on because yes, car seats suck. But seeing your kid fly through the windscreen of your car will suck considerably more.
#CarseatFullstop has been doing an excellent job at educating parents (like me) who find the inconvenience of car seats well… inconvenient. I’ve learnt so much and found myself a little bit more enlightened and inspired with regards to making sure my kids are strapped in. Because the truth is that whether you and I like it or not, there are more cars on the road. So that means there are more drivers on the road… and guess what, they are out of your control. So, whether you’re the best driver in the world, you cannot control the speed of your fellow road user, or his state of mind etc. The road is just not as safe as it was yesteryear.
So let’s decide that today will be day one. No judgies. You didn’t strap your kid in yesterday. That’s okay. Today is a new today. Look, no matter how we look at it, your kid needs to be strapped in. How about we hold each other accountable, and make sure that our kids are secure, in their car seats, each time that we travel? I can do that. Can you?
Some car seat facts that I’ve learnt through #CarseatFullstop:1. Car passenger deaths are the fourth leading cause of death in children in South
Africa.
2. Every child from birth until roughly 12 years old needs a car seat or booster seat to
be safe in a crash.
3. The latest research says that 93% of children in South Africa that need to be in a
car seat to be safe in a crash, are not in car seats.
4. A car seat belt is designed to be used by an adult male over 1.5m tall.
5. A car seat belt’s job is to distribute the force of a crash to the body’s strongest points – mid-shoulder, chest and pelvis.
6. The majority of car accidents happen close to home – one study shows 52%
within 8km and 77% within 25km. So “just up the road” means nothing.
7. On a child, a seat belt sits over their 2 most vulnerable points – the neck/throat
and the belly area containing all the vital organs. The seat belt becomes a
definitive threat to a child who isn’t using a booster seat to protect them from it.
8. A baby needs to be in a rear-facing infant seat until they are 13kgs or their head is
more than 1 inch from the top of the seat back. This is usually around 1 year’s old.
9. At 40km per hour the blow to your unrestrained child’s head making contact with
any part of the car is the same as dropping him/her from 6 meters (a second
story balcony) onto concrete.
10. The carry handle of an infant seat has a secondary purpose. When installing the
seat, you should pull the handle towards the backrest of the seat to create a “roll
cage” effect.
11. You should never buckle two children up in one seatbelt. The children could kill or
seriously injure one another in a crash or sudden stop. A car seat belt has also
only been crash-tested with one person, so there is no way to tell if or how it might
function with two.
12. In South Africa, it is illegal to travel in a car with a child under 3 years old not
strapped into an approved child safety seat.
13. Rear-facing car seats are far safer for developing bodies than forward facing car. They spread the force of a crash over the larger area of the back, as
opposed to the force being taken by the underdeveloped neck when the
proportionally big head of a smaller child is thrown forward.
14. . A bulky jacket, jersey or blanket underneath the car seat harness can create a
lot of slack between the harness and your child when the force from the crash
compresses the material. This can lead to your child being ejected. You should
rather place the blanket or jacket over the child once they are secured in the
harness.
15. You can currently purchase one approved car seat in South Africa that allows for
rear-facing up to 25kgs, which is between 4 and 6 years old.For more information, please follow #CarseatFullstop on social media and please feel free to share their posts to encourage others to follow along too.
#CarseatFullstop website
Email the #CarseatFullstop team
Connect with #CarseatFullstop on Facebook
Connect with #CarseatFullstop on Twitter
Connect with #CarseatFullstop on Instagram
Connect with #CarseatFullstop on Google Plus -
Maya Deaf Foundation: Teaching your kids about disabilities
How do you feel about teaching your kids about disabilities? I’m going to be honest (because this is my blog and I can if I want to), teaching Kari about disability was not high up there on my list of priorities. NOT because I deemed the topic unimportant. I think that it is super duper important! But I was silly enough to believe that, at her age, my little girl wouldn’t really encounter someone with a disability. After reading about my friends Laz and Ruth’s amazing work that they are doing with Maya Deaf Foundation, I quickly realized how “doff” I was being. The truth is that it’s highly likely that your kid will, at some point, meet someone with special needs. I mean, Laz woke up one morning – at the tender age of seven – suddenly 100% deaf! Can you image that? Waking up to silence? -
Do you hold regular family meetings?
Does your family hold regular family meetings? You know, a gathering of sorts, where you are able to share your thoughts and feelings with each other? Yep, I get it, if you grew up in the *cough* 90’s like I did, a family meeting would be a foreign concept. In fact, it would be laughable! I mean, if we had family meetings back when I was a kid, my mum would respond to my “chores is child labor” claims with a shoe against my face. Well, that is a mild exaggeration, but you get the gist. Parents of the 90’s (and earlier) were not prone to needing the advice or opinion of their children. But things have changed, it seems.
So according to quite a few websites (I’m linking them below), it’s important to hold regular family meetings. These sites claim that families should sit down and deliberate decisions together… as a group. As in, your kid gets to have a say. One expert says that decisions should not be made without the kids consult. Apparently that’s dictatorship and no one wants to be that guy.
I read that holding meetings is a great way to include everyone in the decision making process and it creates a space where you can address issues, openly and calmly. Have you guys tried this at home? Well, I did, the other day. I mean, I figured that we arent living in 19-voetsak anymore and that it would be cool to hear the kids thoughts on certain things. Here’s how ours went down:
Winning
It was cool to address topics that were areas of concern. We brought up sensitive issues and made sure that everyone knew that we would respect each other’s opinion. Kyle (who loves debate) could argue his case and explain how he feels. And we could respond with our reasoning and thoughts on the topic. We then reached an amicable conclusion and were able to move on from the issue.Flopping
Did you read the part where I said that Kyle loves to debate? ‘Cause that. The kid can argue his point until next week, if given the chance. We had to remind him that this was a brainstorming session, and not an opportunity to attack each other. AND most importantly (well, for me probably), we get to have the final say because we are the big people.Conclusion
I think that family meetings are a great idea. But, before you hop right in there Harriet, lay down the law. Have some “family meeting rules” to comply with. In fact, a talking stick is also a really good idea too.Here are other bits of advice I found, that really helped us:
– Create a safe place (no judgies) for everyone to respectfully share their thoughts.
– What happens in Family Meeting, stays in Family meeting.
– For every negative comment, three positive comments must follow.
– Brainstorm ways to do things better, instead of focusing on the problem.
– Write down family goals and determine ways to reach them.
– Set the date for your next family meeting.So, that’s my take on the family meeting. What do you think, moms? Is this something that you’ve implemented in your own home? Please share your advice in the comment section below – you’ll be surprised at how many mama’s draw on the info that they receive in the comments.
Resources:
Centre for Parenting Education
Planning Alt
Lifestyle Plus Centre -
What my kids are playing with: Play-doh and Busy Box toy review
So my little miss has been giving me all the love because I brought home a couple of ultra cool toys from some of our blog friends. Hands in the air if you’re okay with being the cool parent. I know I am. I’ll take my cool points wherever I can get ’em from, thank you very much. Anyways, so you know how I love to give kids educational toys as gifts? Well, the toys I’m going to chat about today tick all the right boxes AND they encourage imaginative play, which is always a winner in my books!
