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Co-parenting drama in December? Ho, Ho, NO!
I’m quite fond of my children. I mean, I totally don’t want to get rid of them, if you know what I mean. It’s amazing how you’re never quite a pro, at parenting, even if you’ve been at it for a long time. And when it comes to co-parenting, even more so! Kyle is in his teens already and I still feel like I don’t know what the heck to do with my emotions in December! The end of each year always has me feeling all the parenting feels because he travels to his dad, to spend December with his other family. Yep, more than 10 years of him not being with me on Christmas day, and my heart still feels as if it’s beat-boxing to Gangnam Style when he gets on the plane. But, as much as I hate it seeing him go, I refuse to partake in co-parenting drama in December.
For starters, the kid didn’t choose this life. So I’m not about to insert my #momfeelings into the equation simply because I feel more entitled to having him with me. Truth be told, he needs both me and his dad. I’m not the Beyonce of this situation. We are all in it together. And, if we want to be fair about this thing, December is the longest time he spends with his dad, step mom and siblings. It sucks for me but Kyle is super duper excited. It’s a worthy sacrifice in my opinion.
Obviously, I’m still a mom and I’m never quite at peace until my boy is home; safe and soundly annoying the living daylights out of me, as he does. So until he gets back, I usually check up on him as often as I can. And I pray a lot, a lot, a lot. Seth, on the other hand is quite blessed to have both sets of parents in the same city. So Christmas with him usually means seeing him for only half the day. I feel like we’ve got this festive season co-parenting gig sorted. But I was wondering how other co-parenters do it. I mean, is there a trick to it? Well, this is what I found online:
When co-parenting in December, always be mindful of:
1. The other parent’s time. I mean, sure they should just be flippen grateful that they get to see the kid at all. Right? Wrong. We are all human beings and we all deserve respect, yo. In most cases, the usual “even split”, which sees the kid with one parent in the morning, and the other parent in the evening, works like the bomb dot com. My suggestion? Talk to one another and reach a compromise, without the intense desire to be the “winner”, in the situation. How about letting the kid be the winner?
2. Long distance love. For those co-parenting from different cities, a great idea would be a week split. One parent gets the kid for the week leading up to Christmas and Christmas day, and the other for the week leading up to New Years, and New Years day. Win-win, really.
3. The gifts. We had a situation, one year, where one of the parents in our quadruple parenting situation was not happy with a gift that was given to one of the kids. It reminded me that we need to be mindful of each other, when it comes to gift giving too! Kyles dad and I now regularly have “so what are you getting him?” conversations, which is helpful.
4. Traditions. I’m big on traditions. Like, to me, Christmas tradition is almost as important as Christmas day. There, I said it. I appreciate when the boys are allowed to partake in my Christmas crazy, because I mean, what are traditions without having your whole family with you? (Or staring at you, as if you’re a loony toon)
5. The other family. I mean, ignoring your ex and the other family is pretty easy, I’m sure. But we’re not good at playing that game, at our house. Mainly because our boys are always so eager to tell us what went down, who got which gifts and all the funny things that happened. We encourage it! Christmas cheer is Christmas cheer, yo! We’ll take what we can get! But it also sets your kid at ease, and kinda makes them feel like it’s OKAY TO FEEL GOOD about spending time with the other family.So what do you guys think? Can any of my co-parenters relate to any of this? Drop your comments below. I mean, as I said in the beginning, 16 years later and I still learn something new every year! At the end of the day, your kid is what matters. Don’t be a jerk. That’s is all.
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Scoring all the “cool mom” points with Hasbro’s Christmas gift ideas
I don’t know about your kids, but mine are only slightly impressed with me. I mean, I serve my purpose, no doubt, and I’m pretty sure that they love me. But as far as cool points (I talk about these a lot, I know) go, Hubstopher usually scores all of them. But not this Christmas! Oh no, I’m about to be as cool as rolled up skinny jeans and top knots! That’s right, I’m bringing out the big guns this festive season as I prepare to wow my kids with Hasbro’s Christmas gift ideas and stocking fillers. Check them out here:
My Little Pony
Following in the My Little Pony tradition of heartwarming tales of adventure, magical characters, colourful worlds and humour for all ages. The MY LITTLE PONY:THE MOVIE, was released on 6 October 2017. In the movie, the ponies face off against their biggest villain yet, the evil Storm King who is determined to steal all the magic from the kingdom of Equestria. It is up to the Mane Six to stop him and take back their beloved home. The fun doesn’t end with the movie – Hasbro has launched a MY LITTLE PONY: THE MOVIE inspired range of characters and play sets, now available in South Africa. Kari’s favorite pony is Twilight Sparkle, so I am so chuffed to give her one of the My Little Pony seapony figures. Each 6-inch seapony figure has a beautiful mermaid-like tail and her signature cutie mark on her back fin. Her eyes and wings are detailed with glitter for extra under-the- sea sparkle.
Toilet Trouble
There’s a lot more family fun time to be had with the introduction of Hasbro’s latest games; Toilet Trouble and Fantastic Gymnastics. (I chatted about Fantastic Gymnastics in this post). This Toilet Trouble game is hilarious! True to its name Toilet Trouble produces some hilarious and suspense-filled moments as players take turns spinning the toilet paper roll, flushing the toilet handle, and hoping, this round, they don’t get sprayed with water. The number that turns up on the paper roll spinner indicates how many times each player must flush. Players are safe if they hear the flushing sound, but no water is sprayed. Suitable for ages four and up, Toilet Trouble is fun for two or more players, keeping the kids (and adults) entertained for hours. Watch the Toilet Trouble game in action here.
Grab and Go Monopoly
Monopoly is back with the next generation game featuring the newly launched token set. Over 4.3 million fans, from around the globe, voted to keep their favorite tokens on board. The eight tokens set to carry on “Passing Go” in the new set include: the Scottie dog, top hat, car, battleship, cat, T-Rex, rubber ducky and the penguin. Monopoly Gamer is the Monopoly edition with a Nintendo twist. Instead of standard Monopoly tokens the game features Super Mario characters each with its own special powers within gameplay. Still a firm family favourite, Monopoly Mzansi, featuring 22 local locations, makes a perfect gift for the festive season. A definite must have for travellers, Monopoly Mzansi provides an opportunity for family and friends to come together and enjoy some quality time, Mzansi style.
Nerf Gun
The Nerf N-Strike Elite Raptor Strike blaster is part of the AccuStrike Series, which features darts designed for greater accuracy. If your kids are gamers, like mine are, Nerf Blasters make for a fun reason to get them playing outdoors! The Elite Accustrike foam darts, with its twisted flat tip moulding, helps the bullet to stay straight when travelling through the air. The bolt-action blaster comes with an extendable bipod to stabilise shots, perfect for stealth battles with your friends. The 2 six-dart clips and 18 darts includes ensures battlers will stay stocked for their Nerf fights. The blaster comes complete with a pop-up sight for targeting.So what do you guys think? Spot anything that your kid would love for Christmas? More importantly, which of these will give you the much needed “street cred”?
You can pick any of these up at Toys R Us, ToyZone, Toy Kingdom, Hamleys, Lilliputs and other major retailers. You can also shop online at Takealot.com. Visit the Hasbro website for more.
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Fat Attack Beach tours make summer a little bit more exciting
If you want to be the cool parent this summer, then this post is for you. I totally scored cool parent points last weekend when I introduced our boys to the Fat Attack beach tours. Nelson Mandela Bay Tourism invited a bunch of us to check out this totally rad new offering to the bays summer itinerary, thanks to Red Cherry Adventures. And guys, it’s totally legit.
So the fat bike is basically like a normal bike, except that it has larger tyres and is ideal to use on trails or to ride in the beach sand. Yep, that’s right! Ride in the BEACH SAND! Romantic ride on the beach, anyone?! Thought so!
Kyle enjoyed the bikes more than I did, well mainly because I’m such a nerd and I don’t do well without a roof over my head. I did, however, appreciate that they were able to give me a “smaller” bike, compared to Christophers. It made me feel as if I’m not going to fall on my face anytime soon. Okay, even though I almost did. But that’s not the point here.My blogger friends (see below (left) Odette, Venean, Lorelle and Laurina) totally kicked some fat bike butt though!
I love my hometown, yo. Nelson Mandela Bay is gearing up for an action-packed summer for visitors and locals who will be in search of activities and entertainment this holiday season.We all know that we have some of the best beaches this side of the coast. The retro fat bike is a cool way to get to those “hard to reach” remote locations and the Red Cherry Adventures trail packages offer fun and excitement for 2 to 3 hours.
Some of the popular offerings include a 15km Lightouhsoe trail to Cape Recife and a 12km Sacramento trail. All activity begins and ends at the popular Something Good Roadhouse, making it the ideal place to plan a refueling session, before you go on to explore more of the bay. Nelson Mandela Bay Tourism also offers the public really legit pass cards, which will give you free and discounted entry into a variety of attractions and activities.for more information, you can visit Nelson Mandela Bay Tourisms website. To book your first Fat Attack beach ride in Nelson Mandela Bay contact Red Cherry Adventures via email or visit the website.
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Gary Chapman’s Conversation Starters made my family talk {Giveaway!}
Ever sat around a supper table and literally heard crickets, because the conversation was just that non-existent? Or do you find that one child is a chatterbox, leaving no room for any of the others to share? Or do you just want to get your family or spouse talking more? You and me both, pal! Which is why I literally squealed when my friends over at Christian Art Media sent me a parcel so amazing, I’m sure I heard angels singing when I opened it. Introducing: Gary Chapmans 101 Conversation Starters. If you love board games and group games, like I do, then this is right up your alley! (Stay tuned to find out how you can win a hamper for you and your family!)
So, for those not familiar with the geniosity that is Dr Gary Chapman: He is the brilliant psychologist (with more than 30 years experience, yo!) and the author behind the highly popular New York Best Selling Five Love Languages book. Dr Chapman says that each person has their own unique language, pertaining to their own, unique personality and characteristics. We all give and receive love in different ways. He explains that by knowing your partner or children’s love language, you can finally take the mystery out of what they really want and expect. Knowing your child’s love language can help you to understand them better and will give you the “cheats” on how to get the best out of them!
According to him, the 5 Love Languages are: Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Physical Touch. For example, my love language is acts of service. When Chris washes the dishes, or gives me a food rub, I’m like “woah, this guy really loves me!” His, on the other hand, is physical touch. So, if I’m upset with him for like, a week, and avoid contact, he really feels the burn!
Anyways, so based on the amazing Love Languages series, and together with Ramon Presson, Dr Chapman has developed the 101 Conversation Starters cards. This handy tabletop resource is designed to get you, your family and your spouse talking! With 101 probing questions, 101 Conversation Starters for Families blends just the right amount of fun and thought-provoking questions, to help develop a culture of meaningful conversation in your family! I simply adore the 101 Conversation Starters for Couples cards. These offer 101 probing questions for couples, with the aim to enhance the relationship and create a deeper intimacy.
If you’re looking for an affordable way to create a fun atmosphere, at home, during the summer period, then I highly recommend these! And hey, aren’t the ‘couples’ cards a really legit way to spend a date night indoors? The 101 Conversation Starters cards and Love Languages books are available online or at your nearest CUM Books store.
We played the family game, this past week, and learnt a bunch of really interesting things about each other. For starters, Kyle wants to leave the country. But we always knew that. Chris realized that he needs a dedicated day, in the week, to spend with the family (yep, the cards told him this!) and now everyone knows that the one thing I want for Christmas is to be 16 again! That last one was meant to be funny, but only I thought it was. Oh well, you can’t win them all. And talking about winning, I want to give one of you a hamper, as part of my Christmas Crazy festivities! Woohoo!
The hamper includes both the 101 Conversation Starters for Families, 101 Conversation Starters for Couples AND the 2 accompanying Dr Chapman Love Languages books, that will help you to work on building better relationships within your family and marriage! AAAACK! I know, right?!!To enter, simply follow the rafflecopter prompts below, and check out my Facebook page on Friday, December 15th to see if you’re a winner! Yep, there are hundreds (I’m exaggerating) of ways to enter… I wanted to give you as many chances and options as possible! This prize is that good! Good luck ya’ll!
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Oh hi there, ridiculously overpriced festive season…
Look, whether you’re all “tis the season to be jolly” or not, December is only a few sleeps away. And with it comes the ridiculously overpriced festive season that probably has a few of us tossing and turning at night. I mean, the kids need new clothes and fancy gifts. My home needs to be refurnished and repainted to domestic perfection and my hair needs to resemble something out of a Tresemme advert, or else does it even count as hair? Then there are all the staff and ‘end of year’ parties that require you to pay per head. Secret santa gifts needs to be bought and uhm, you didn’t think that I was going to that, wearing this, did you? How does one even keep up?!
Well, I’ve decided that this year, I’m simply just NOT. That’s right. I’m NOT going to keep up. Why? Well, because you’re not a Kardashian… and girlfriend, neither am I. And hey, don’t get me wrong, I am all for big Christmases, but not this year, Patricia. It could be the newly added fourth child that suddenly has me more cash conscious than Scrooge McDuck on a budget saver, but suddenly all the unnecessary things just seem so… I don’t know… well, unnecessary.
For starters, do I REALLY need to buy new curtains for every single window in my house? And if I do, why get them all over the December period? I’m sure my guests aren’t visiting me, during summer, to check out my window fixtures.
And seriously, how many new “outfits” does one kid even need? And if I must buy them something new (which I must, at least, shame guys) there are many stores that make shopping for those summer essentials a lot more affordable. And as for summer entertaining… we’re going retro up in here, kids! I’m talking picnics, walks on the beach and playing Monopoly and Scrabble at the dining room table! (All of which costs a small fee of nothing! And I thank you for that.) Fortunately, I live in the most beautiful city on earth and Nelson Mandela Bay Tourism has a really affordable pass that makes holidaying in our city a lot more affordable. #sharethebay
Then there’s the issue of food. I mean, guys, I get it, holidays means eating. But why. Why guys. Why why why why?! (that’s me breaking out my inner, mis-phrased Rihanna song). Why do we spend so much money on food, in December?! I’ve decided that we’re not doing takeaways every single night of the week (and the crowd goes mehhh) (and by “crowd”, I mean my children). Also, I finally understand why my mom buys in bulk for the festive season! It’s friggen genius, really! I mean, shopping for that bring and braai can be done in your very own refrigerator.
Then comes the issue of gifts. Look, I am a self-professed “Christmas Girl” and gifts kinda are my love language. I can’t wait to show you guys some of my fave gift ideas. I don’t know about you, but I’ve made provision (financially) for those cool Christmas gifts. I mean, I love presents, you guys! What is a Christmas tree without a foray of gifts underneath it?! This year, we’re sorted. Call it clever shopping (every other month of the year that is not December)… call it budgeting… as you wish. We don’t get emotional up in this piece. We think ahead. We strategise.
And talking about strategy… how often do you even wear the stunning heels you bought last Christmas? Or the “wedding outfit” you forked out a wad of cash on, two years ago? Recycle, girl! No one remembers, I promise you. You don’t have to wear something new to look good.
Okay, dramatics aside, how many of you can relate? It’s okay to admit that you’re not rolling in the dough this December. (Because, seriously, who wants to roll in dough? That stuff’s a disaster to get out of your hair). Anyways, I thought that this would be a great space to get some cool money saving tips going! Please share your tips in the comments section below because sharing is caring… and atleast we’re not asking you for money.
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So we made christmas tree ornaments in our LG NeoChef Microwave Oven
It’s no secret, I’m not exactly a domestic goddess. But when I got my hands on the new LG NeoChef Microwave Oven (with smart inverter technology, yo) I found myself all kinds of inspired! I stood there, staring at it’s sleek exterior, wondering what on earth I could make in it. And then I watched the LG NeoChef advert, where a very well spoken Daniel Les – world renowned ceremic artist – shows us how he bakes intricate hand-crafted pottery in his NeoChef. “Hey, I can do that!” I said out loud to no one in particular, because that’s how I roll. And that, my friends, is how I ended up making christmas tree ornaments in our LG NeoChef. Granted, it wasn’t an entirely smooth ride (because my cleverness forgot to remind me that an oven is an oven, so don’t put metallic bows in it maybe) but I am totally chuffed with the end result!
Here’s how we did it: Kari and I simply made a batch of salt dough with about 4 cups of flour and 1 cup of salt. After combining the flour and salt, we slowly stirred some water into it (key word: slowly!), kneading at the concoction until the dough is formed. Once this was done, we grabbed some of our cookie cutters and got a couple of really cool shapes for our ornaments.
You guys, so the recipes I found online told me to bake my ornaments in the oven for at least 2 – 3 hours. I put these in the NeoChef for 20 minutes and guess what… it was too long! We put the second batch in for only 10 minutes! How’s that for impressive AND a time saver?!Okay, here’s where my cleverness failed me. I thought that we could decorate the ornaments before sticking them in the oven. But alas, this did not work out quite as expected. But, all was not lost. I remembered what my very crafty pal, JustEllaBella, told me about using nail polish to decorate your tiny crafts. And that’s what we did!
All in all, I think they came out really sweet! What do you guys think? I am simply loving our LG NeoChef Microwave Oven. Here’s a few more really impressive things you need to know about it:– It has Anti-Bacterial EasyClean™ interior coating, which means it’s easier to keep your microwave oven clean and germ free. The coating gets rid of 99.99% of harmful bacteria from the surface.
– The inverter technology is a real thing, yo! Like a super power… but better! Basically, it enables more precise temperature control. (Which is why Mr Les could bake his pottery in it!) This also prevents overcooked food and unthawed areas on your defrosted foods.
– It has a legit interior LED lamp, which is three times brighter and more energy efficient than most premium microwave oven lights. This means it’s way easier to see into the oven – no more stopping to check, simply peek in through the window!
Totally impressed.
Disclaimer: The LG NeoChef was sent to me, but all the opinions and photos in this post are my own, I promise.
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3 relaxing activities any mom should have time for
Once you become a mom, having time for yourself becomes more of a myth than reality. But everybody is entitled to a bit of relaxation at the end of the day, and this should include moms as well. Getting rid of all the stress you’ve accumulated during the day will get you ready for the following morning and will help you be there 100%, which is why it is essential that you do not skip this step. I’d like to tell you about three simple, yet highly effective strategies that could make a difference for you because they will help you relax.
1. Getting Proper Sleep Is a Must for Any Mom
A good night’s sleep can do wonders for you because it provides you with the energy you need to have every single day as a mom. During those hours of sleep, your body will have time to regain its strength and stay healthy. Adjusting your sleep schedule is something that you should have in mind for the long run because it is the basis of a sane mind. A recent study made at Warwick University has actually compared the effects of good sleep to how it feels to be an actual lottery winner. Imagine just how happy you could be after getting a jackpot. This should give you an idea of just how important sleep is for our day-to-day health. So, after you’ve put your little darling to bed, remember that it’s your turn to rest and charge your batteries for the day that awaits.
2. Having A Hobby to Turn to Can Relieve Stress
As any mom out there, I am sure that you want to do absolutely everything with your children, but keeping some things to yourself and yourself only is very important for your emotional state. Keep at least some of your hobbies active and make sure you allocate time to them periodically. Everybody has their own hobby, so whether you like books, films, or outdoor activities, save some time for them because it will help you let all of that stress out. At least once a week, take a bit of time for you and only you and watch your film, read your book, or take your run and you will see just how much it can do for you.
3. Establishing Short Rituals Will Work with A Mom’s Busy Schedule
Making the day longer is any mom’s dream, but, sadly, that is not a possibility, which means that you have to take your relaxation where you can get it. And not only is this possible, but it is all a matter of perspective. Cherish the short relaxing moments you get on a daily basis, like drinking your morning cup of coffee, taking your evening shower, or even taking a short walk on your way to work or picking up your kids from kindergarten. The secret to this one is to keep your mind channeled on what you are doing at that particular time, instead of worrying about the rest of the things you will have to do. Savor that cup of coffee, enjoy that shower, and take the time to notice the scenery as you take your walk. This will help you let out the stress and take in the beauty of the moment. All you have to do is pay attention to it.
Being a mom takes up most of your day, I know, but these three relaxation strategies will help you achieve some great progress. So, breathe in and take your day as it comes, one moment at the time. Make sure you respect the boundaries you set, even though they are self-imposed and you will see just how much this could do for you.
Disclaimer: This post was paid for by ICS Digital and all content belongs to them. Image Source: Pixabay
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Three ingredient meal cooked to perfection in my LG NeoChef Microwave Oven
When it comes to cooking, I’m not exactly the next master chef. I mean, I take the easy way out versus serving up intricate gourmet inspired meals, any day! And hey, the less time needed for preparation, the better! Which is why I was super impressed with the very pretty LG NeoChef Microwave Convection Oven. Yeah, I know, how can I call a microwave “pretty”. Well, it’s that good looking, yo! With a sleek design and stainless steel and matte black accents, this is probably the best looking appliance that I have in my kitchen at the moment.
The other day I decided to give it a go, using a very simple three ingredient recipe, passed on to me by a very clever mom of three who always has the best supper ideas for her family. Yep, you heard me. Three ingredients! Guys, check how easy this is:
I mixed a packet of brown onion soup with some water, to make a quick stir in sauce. You can spice this up, if you want. It can be quite unadventurous without some pepper and/or chillie.
I then lined my chicken pieces up in an oven-friendly dish, poured my soup sauce over it and popped it in the oven for about 10 minutes. I added my veggies (mixed it in nicely) and returned it to the microwave oven for another 5 to 10 minutes, and ta da! My chicken and veggies were cooked to perfection! I read the words “preserves nutrients and locks in flavour” in the LG NeoChef press release, and didn’t truly get it. But now I do!
So in a nutshell, the NeoChef is more than just a microwave. It has new, very clever smart inverter technology, making it a convection oven as well. Basically, a microwave convection oven can cook food evenly and quickly, as opposed to a normal microwave which simply uses hot, circulated air, to heat something up.This baby can roast, bake and even air-fry, your food to perfection!I guess the reason why it cooks super fast is because it heats up to 1200 watts. According to Hubstopher, that’s pretty impressive. It can do a bunch of other really legit things too, like dry fruit, make yoghurt and even bake a cake. I mean, really! What more do you want?!
This dish took me probably half the time it would in my normal oven and I didn’t have to keep checking it. (I mean, not that I even had the brain capacity to do that, with Jo and Kari literally climbing all over me).
I was also curious to learn more about the Anti-Bactieral Easy Clean Coating, that I read about. So I learned that there is a special layer of protection, on your NeoChef, that eliminates 99.99% of harmful bacteria, making it difficult for contaminants to stick around.I can’t wait to try out a few more recipes with my LG NeoChef. Keep an eye out for more next week! Oh and if you’d like to find out more on the LG NeoChef Microwave Convection Oven do check out their website or do a google search (NeoChef) to see what others are saying about it!
Disclaimer: The LG NeoChef Microwave Convection Oven was sent to me. But the review is totally honest and my own opinion, I promise.
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It’s Mommy, but you can call me Mom
Anyone else feel like their mommy identity is their only identity? Aren’t you so tired of it?! Yeah, I said it. I’m tired of feeling like I’m 90% Mother and 10% ‘What else you need?’ Gosh, I remember a time when I was so flippen interesting, that people would come speak to me to hear what’s on my mind, not what they need to get from the shop.
I remember a time when my shoes were so bedazzling and amazing that they would be lined up neatly, in a corner of my bedroom. They were always ready for a night out or a supper date at a trendy eatery. Dare I say it: my shoes were “on fleek”. Not “on sale”. My shoes were all tall and elegant looking. They weren’t these flat, formless pieces of leather that we now allow on our feet because it’s much easier to chase after a screaming toddler in a packed shopping mall while wearing foot gear that is flatter than the top of table mountain.
Talking about mountains, I remember a time when I didnt feel like one. Guys, I didn’t even have to go on diets. My body just decided that it had no use for fat and that carbs was a friend of mine. My tops were not loose-fitting and my pants were not stretch material. Sigh, those were good times.I remember a time, you guys, where my Friday nights were filled with missed calls because I didn’t know which group of friends I wanted to hang out with. Not because I fell asleep, while watching “Beauty and the Beast” (for the 145th time) and can’t find my phone (stuck between my butt and the couch).
I remember, oh so clearly, how all my jokes were funny and all my witty comebacks were supremely clever sounding because guys were young and impressionable and I knew that they thought I was brilliant.
I remember when I gave up sleep, on purpose, to dance the night away and the freedom of the December holidays – crazy summer nights and lazy beach days. Ha! I remember being able to spend cold hard cash on a new outfit without guilting myself about the soccer gear that wad of cash could have covered!
Do you guys remember? What’s your favorite thing to get all nostalgic about?
I had a moment (because I’m old now, so I have ‘moments’ often) where I tried to remember my very favorite memory out of all. I realised that I couldn’t pick one. I didn’t have one.
I had three… the births of my three kids.
Kyles birth was scary, because I was still a baby myself, but the moment I laid eyes on him, my heart skipped a beat. He graduated me into Mommydom. Karis birth was so joyful, I literally laughed when I saw her. My long awaited daughter… the most beautiful girl in the world! And Jonah’s entry into the world was so special – my heart felt like it could burst – he was just so gorgeous!
Oh sorry, what was I speaking about now again? Mommy identity? The past? My life before children?
Well, it is what it is. There’s a lot to reflect on. I remember being young, carefree, skinny, adventurous, exciting, full of energy, not broke, childless….
… selfish, unaccountable, unmoved, irresponsible, egocentric, half baked.
And now? Well… now I am complete.
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Four kids later and I’m not coping
I know it looks super cool to have a big family. I mean, our family photo’s are lit because there’s literally one of us in every single size and age group. But in reality, I feel as if I’m not coping. Four kids later and I kinda want to take a permanent vacation somewhere not here. Please? Okay, let’s stop being dramatic for like, a few seconds.
It all started this morning (I’m talking about the mini-emo session that I’m currently having) when I realized that I drove to work on fumes. I had forgotten to refuel the car because we were in a hurry to get the kids to school and ourselves to work. By the time I eventually rocked up at the office, I realized that it was probably the good Lord himself who safely delivered me here because the cars fuel light had been flashing since yesterday afternoon. No jokes.
Life has been crazy with a capital “cray”. Jo is a baby, so that speaks for itself. Kari… well, she’s turning three years old soon and she’s as diva as they come. And this is not me bragging. Kyle and Seth are writing exams soon and then there’s the guilt that we aren’t doing enough for them and with them. Pair this up with the fact that we only have one car now, and can you see where I’m going with this? (Or not going. One car, remember?)
Besides for just not having enough time or like, mental capacity, to parent four children and stay sane at the same time, you must remember that we also need to pay the school fees of four children. So a lot of side hustling happens regularly, with me writing and Chris computer-ing and music-ing (what else would you call it), but this means that we’re permanently busy. Oh and I didn’t even mention the other commitments we have. To top that off, we are married! Granted, it’s to each other and we can cut each other some slack on the married front, surely. But still. I can’t remember the last time I held my hubstopher’s hand, for FUN.
Anyways, so with that said, I’ve decided to take this moment and write a little emo post. Mainly because I know that “this too shall pass” and because I want to have this moment documented somewhere for the day when it does, so that I can look back and go “ahh, see, it did pass.” But also because I know that I’m not the only mom going through a complete season of overwhelm right now.I’m not saying it’s “okay” to be overwhelmed. But I am saying that it’s okay to feel as if you don’t have all your ish together, all of the time. So this ones for you mom, who feels as if you’re not coping too. I see you, girl. You’ve got this. This too shall pass. This too shall pass.
