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Why being a mother sucks sometimes
Being a mother sucks. What? You don’t agree? Wait, maybe I wasn’t being clear: You know all the amazing parts of being someones mom? Stuff like hearing them call you “mama” for the first time and being able to snuggle up next to them as you read Good night, Mouse for the umpteenth time? Well, those things seem extremely over-rated when you’re exhausted after having to change your bedding (thanks to a massive squirt of newborn poop) and then have to referee an argument between a 2-year old and a 15-year old about who gets to sit on the “big couch”. Oh, hi there, excuse me where are my manners. My name is Luchae Williams and I am the proud
ownermother of one newborn, one toddler, step-mom to one primary schooler and mom to one extremely opinionated highschooler. Mental status: Currently losing my mind.I know, I know, I can hear what you’re thinking. And allow me to reiterate: I DO love my children and I am aware that there are hundreds of women who would give actual limbs to be in my position. But hey, sometimes being mom means keeping it real. And the reality is that my kids drive me crazy! Like “Gone Girl” crazy. Like shaving my hair off ala Britney Spears crazy.
Do your kids make you want to go to the toilet to just sit there, and enjoy the silence? Welcome, friend! Do you often find yourself thinking “oh, just go away!” with a smile on your face, while listening to another boring story about soccer? I see you, girlfriend! Have you ever dreamt about your life pre-children, with stars in your eyes and longing in your heart? I feel your pain, Jane! Does feeling this way make us bad people? Uhhh, nope. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes. Being a parent is not easy and if you think about it, no one asked us to be superhuman. Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves?
You know the saying about kids being your heart on the outside of your body? Well that’s the truest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. And I’m old… so I’ve heard a lot of things in my life. The thing is, children trick you. They make you believe that you’re going to fall pregnant, or find that perfect adoption agency, or marry that guy, and suddenly be Super Parent… in a land filled with domesticated sunshine and roses and finger painting parties in the backyard. You chat about a future that holds sleepless nights, more expenses and less time for yourself and you actually think that you’re READY for it. But truth be told, you’re never really ready.And once that kid is there, in your world, in living color. Oh boy! There is no. turning. back. You are in it for life! Nothing else will be more important ever again. You find yourself semi-moaning (okay in this case alot-of-moaning) about how your kids tire you out and steal your time but the truth is, you don’t want and can’t see a life without them. And no amount of sleep or glitzy career moves or toned abdominal muscles will EVER come close to the way you feel when they call you mama for the first time or when you’re snuggled up reading Good night, Mouse for the umpteenth time.
You become vulnerable… all your mushy parts exposed… living life with your heart on the outside of your body, in tiny human form. And if you’re a spreadsheet brain like I am, you’ll probably think that being a mom sucks too because it feels SO good to belong to them… to be so weak and yet so strong. It’s beautiful and scary and empowering and so very humbling all at the same time.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s worth it.
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Our newborn photo shoot with Cutepix Photography
Remember how much I bragged about Michelle over at Cutepix Photography? Well, the proof is in the pudding and this post right here is the pudding, ladies and gentleman. Well, MY pudding, to be exact… look at that face! I was so chuffed to be able to plan Jonah’s newborn photo shoot with Michelle. After seeing the amazing way she orchestrated Kari’s first birthday cake smash shoot, I knew that I would be pleased with Jo’s pics! I saw this shoot as a way to capture the beauty of our Jonah, fresh out of the oven. But it was also a way to celebrate his life and all the promise that we see over it! I’d like to celebrate with you too! I will be giving away a very special gift at the end of this post. But first… more pics! -
Recovery after birth: how to stay sane
Whether you’re a first time mom or a ‘last time mom’, like me, the first few weeks after giving birth are usually very challenging. I know what you’re thinking: “What?! Is it not enough that I carried this kid around for nine months and then went through a very physical labour that resulted in me exposing more of my mind, body and soul than I care to?!” Okay, calm down, Patricia. Yes, post-birth can be just as challenging as the actual labour was. But it doesn’t have to be. I’ve found a few simple things that has really helped to make my recovery after birth more comfortable. -
Newborn photography tips
Swoon! I don’t know about the rest of you but I’m convinced that mine is the most beautiful baby in the whole wide world! There’s just something about a fresh baby that melts the heart. Small hands, small toes, inability to backchat (moms of teens, hollar!) The freshness, innocence and purity of a newborn baby is the stuff that broody feelings are made of. We decided to document Jonahs “freshness” but I knew that I had to call in the big guns. I mean, a newborn photo shoot is not exactly something one attempts at home with a cellphone camera. Enter: Michelle of Cutepix Baby and Child Photography! She shared some excellent newborn photography tips and helped to set my mind at ease as I prepped for Jonah’s very first photo shoot. -
Inducing labour: My birth story
As far as these things go, I’ve always considered myself pretty expert at giving birth. My first two deliveries were quick and easy and yes, there was pain, but I could handle it to the point that I laughed through most of the contractions. Literally, laughed. But the birth of my son, last Thursday was way different. I think that inducing labour played a big role in that. But hey, let’s start at the beginning:
The beginning
My doc knew that I was super keen to give natural birth. I was convinced that Jonah would practically walk out of my womb, so to speak. But my last gynae visit showed us a very big Jonah and he didn’t seem too eager to make an appearance anytime soon. Given the fact that I was a few days away from my due date, my doc suggested that we induce labour. I mean, the kid was growing each day! There was also the concern about him being too big for my pelvis and all the other medical mumbo jumbo that made sense. I asked doc for a week to try to get things going myself. If nothing happened, we would be back the following Wednesday.Inducing labour at home
And so the semi freak out began – I was determined to get labour started naturally! I even blogged about it over here, if you recall. Some of my concerns about a chemical induction was just that: It would be CHEMICAL. When you give birth naturally, your body releases certain hormones that makes it easier to do what it needs to do. It also helps you to handle the pain of childbirth. A chemical induction overrides all of this and is therefore more painful. Also, it could speed up the labour process which is not always a good thing, thus resulting in a C-Sec. And hey, there is nothing wrong with giving birth via Cesarean, but it was not what I wanted for me and my baby. Anyways, so I tried to induce labour at home but nothing seemed to be working! Finally, my Hubstopher grabbed me by the hands and gave me a good ol’ pep talk – “everything will be fine!” I decided to enjoy my last few days of pregnancy, because you know what, life is too short to do squats with a nearly 4kg baby boy lodged in your belly!Induction day
Finally Wednesday arrived – the day of the hospital induction. We packed bags and kissed our kids goodbye (which is another blog post for another day). I prayed and remembered all the things that I had learnt from the book that I had been reading – Supernatural Childbirth by Jackie Mize. The book speaks about how God has designed our female bodies to form human life and give birth, naturally and successfully! I believed all of those promises for this birth. Once at the hospital, the nurse checked and saw that I was 1cm dilated. They decided to give it a night to monitor me and see if things will progress naturally. I watched TV, read alot, ate Macdonalds (no judgies) and a couple of hours later I had nothing to report. Nothing happened. Absolutely nothing. I woke up the following morning feeling like a loser. Jonah was meant to be here already!Don’t go chasing waterfalls
The doc decided to induce me at 9am that Thursday morning by way of Pitocin – a synthetic form of the hormone Oxytocin. In a nutshell, Oxy is your friend… it’s the hormone that makes your uterus contract and spurs on labour. Pito is the chemical version of this wonder hormone – it stimulates the uterus. It’s usually given to moms by way of vagina, orally or via an IV. Sometimes, it’s administered all three ways, in various stages of labour. My doc chose the former option and said that she might not even give it to me orally because she thinks it would be enough to get labour going. And she was right. I spent most of the day on the bouncy ball, to get baby moving in the right direction. My doctor came to see me at 12ish and at this point my contractions were mild. She then ruptured my membranes (aka “waters breaking”) and I am pleased to say that I finally had my TV moment. My waters came out in a gush instead of the trickle-trickle I had experienced with my previous two pregnancies. I laughed, and continued to laugh each time I had a contraction because the gushing did. not. stop. I’m talking “somebody left the tap open!” gushing waters. It was a good sign, apparently.Ish gets real
At 4pm the doc decided to administer Oxytocin via IV. This is meant to encourage the uterus to contract and let me tell you, the minute the hormone hit my blood stream, the contractions were super duper intense. I remembered everything that I had read in Supernatural Childbirth though. Every contraction is literally the muscles in my tummy doing it’s job to get my baby boy out. So that’s what I focused on, and I did it rather well, to the point where I heard my nurse tell the doc that I am “comfortable” and won’t be giving birth anytime soon. I had to call her and let her know that I am definitely NOT comfortable and I WILL be giving birth soon and she needs to check me to see for herself! She did and yup I was nearly fully dilated. She was totally shocked at my lack of dramatic screaming but I had peace and knew how to channel my energy into focusing on each contraction and not on the pain.I need to push!
At 6pm I told her that I need to push, she told me it would probably take me another hour and half to reach that point. But the Oxytocin had really kicked it and it made my contractions totally unbearable, so I asked her to switch it off because I knew that my body could do the rest without any help. We had to walk from the labour room to the delivery room and guys, I stopped halfway (yes, in the passage) because I needed to push! I got a bit dramatic over there (sorry other ladies, within earshot, who still needed to give birth) and the nurse stood behind me ready to catch baby Jo, just in case he fell out. He didn’t fall out, fortunately, and I made it to the delivery room with everything still intact.
Jonah is born!
Once on that delivery table there was no holding back… and I got pretty vocal. Jo was born in a couple of minutes and yep, it hurt like crazy! Compared to my other kids, he was a big baby at 3.9 kg. My Hubstopher cried and laughed at the same time. I was just really glad that it was finally over! The rush of emotions (considering the fact that I had zero pain medication, I can’t even blame the drugs) made me say a lot of crazy things while my doc was taking care of my episiotomy. I remember babbling a bunch of things like “Oh wow, why do women go through this? I blame Eve!” and “Doc, I’m so sorry for being so loud but that was very hectic!” and (while addressing the nursing staff) “Guys, I’m so glad that is over!”Jonah Mark Williams is perfect in every way. He looks like his daddy and has a calm disposition. His big sister loves him already! He latched on immediately, like a pro, and had his first “milk drunk” moment yesterday – super cute! I am totally inlove with him! Thank you to everyone for your sweet messages and prayers. And I am so thankful that God once again showed us exactly how He has His hand on our lives… especially when we are NOT in control.
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Preggy update: Husbands are sometimes right too
Preggy update: I’ve been especially hard on myself the past few days. Why? Well, mainly because I am STILL pregnant and I don’t know how to make it stop! If you recall from my previous posts, my doc would like to induce me later this week because this kid is a giant and I really want to give birth naturally. So, for the past few days, I’ve been trying out old housewives remedy’s and modern mama theory’s to try to get baby Jo to make an appearance. And still nothing. -
My teen will not be watching 13 Reasons Why
So I jumped onto the ‘hip bandwagon’ and finally watched the hit Netflix mini-series, 13 Reasons Why. I had been told that it was a story about the suicide of a teenage girl and some people claimed that the show held legit life lessons that all teenagers could learn from. Sure thing, Suzy, but I need to get my eyes on this series first before I allow my kid to watch it. And you bet ya he’s been asking if he can! I must admit, the series left me feeling pretty disturbed, and for that reason my teen will NOT be watching 13 Reasons Why. -
How to induce labour at home
Have you ever tried to induce labour at home? Old wives tales and millennial mamas all have countless tips and tricks that supposedly work, but I wonder if they actually do. Of corse, keeping your bun in the oven until he/she decides to make an appearance is ideal. But different circumstances could call for you to help your baby along its way. Well, I’ve been doing my research on home induction and I’m here to share them with you.
To be honest, I never thought I’d be desperate enough to induce labour at home. I’m one of those “everything happens when it’s suppose to happen” kind of girls. But my recent OBGYN visit showed us a very big baby Jo. In fact, the guestimation is that he will be over 4kg at birth, if I carry full term. His mid section is really big and since I’m pushing for natural labour (pun intended), my sweet doc would rather not take the chance to have me carry till my due date. If nothing happens naturally, by next week, she will be inducing labour at the hospital. But we’re keeping our hopes up that Jo will make an appearance before then. In the meantime, here are a few “induction tricks” that I’ve found online. I’m curious to know: Have any of you tried this at home? Please share your stories with me!
Lots of sex
Well this is one that Hubstopher won’t mind at all. I’ve read (and I like that this is a medical fact, not something that Margaret told Greta in 1856) that semen contains prostaglandins. This hormone-like compound ripens and softens the cervix. Apparently three “doses” of this hormone is enough to spur on labour.Nipple stimulation
Another medical fact is that nipple stimulation mimics the suckling of a newborn. This releases oxytocin into your body, which is responsible for uterine contractions during labour. The trick is to stimulate the section behind the areola. You could even do this by using a breast pump.Castor Oil
Look, I’m not here to promote gut-wrenching diarrhea. But I’ve heard that castor oil is a great natural induction tool because it stimulates the uterus to contract. It does this by stimulating the intestines (which in turn stimulates the uterus). I would assume that you need to be mindful of the amount of castor oil that you ingest. (See my reference to gut-wrenching diarrhea).Other foods
There are a list of foods that also supposedly bring on those labour pains. Things like pineapple, spicy foods and dates are on top of the list. The reasoning is that they work in similiar fashion to the castor oil – they cause intestinal stimulation, which in turn stimulates the uterus.Red rasberry leaf tea
This is another one of those old wives tales that people swear by! I’ve read that this tea strengthens the uterus and pelvic wall, when consumed during pregnancy. It is also very stimulating and is said to speed along the birth process as well.Acupuncture and accupresure
There is always the option of trying natural or homeopathic remedys. I’m no expert on the topic but I’ve read that acupuncture helps to get you mentally and physically ready to birth your baby. In fact, there are certain pressure points in your feet that can help to bring on natural labour.Move it move it
Exercises – such as walking, biking or swimming – is said to bring on labour. Of corse, you’re always told to walk walk walk, when you’re in your final stages of pregnancy. This helps baby to get into position and it helps to open up your pelvis for a faster delivery.So that’s my list. But with all of that said, I don’t have room for fear or anxiety in my head. Remaining calm and relaxed is my super, top secret tip on how to induce labour at home. But I must admit, I am curious: Have you tried any of these at home? Which of these work, in your opinion? Please share your thoughts and tips with me, in the comments section!
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ECMeetUp recap – Of unicorn horns and decadent pancakes
So we’re still reeling after having the best #ECMeetUp 2017 this side of the century! Yes, I am still pregnant – even though going into labor at a blogger conference would probably have made the event go viral (hello Facebook Live). But nope, my kid is still happily tucked away in moms tummy. He enjoyed all the amazing food that Ralph and Sarah, of The Plantation, fed our faces with. Uh can you say decadent pancakes (with just about every topping!) and a breakfast that made me feel as if I should have a title infront of my name (Lady Lu sounds good, right?) We were also blown away by the amazing sponsors – like, totally blown away… like so blown away that we have some to give to you too! But first, a ECMeetUp recap: -
Wait a minute, I’m STILL pregnant?!
It’s been a crazy past few days of #ECMeetUp planning and being pregnant all at the same time. I’m not sure how my spreadsheet brain calculated it, but I was under the impression that I would be way earlier in my pregnancy, at the meet up. Turns out I am two weeks away from my due date – and it feels like it! To be honest, I actually can’t believe that I’m still pregnant. I really thought that this kid would make his grand appearance like a month early. For the most part, I feel great (if ‘great’ means feeling as if you’re carting around a 5kg bag of sugar under your top) and my baby Jo is happily swimming away.
