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Apparently teenagers turn into adults eventually
So my baby boy has just returned from his bi-annual visit to his dad in Cape Town and suddenly the kid looks more ‘man’ than ‘kid’. Not impressed. Not impressed at all. I don’t know what sorcery you Capetonians practice, but if you could return my baby boy to me in baby form next time, that would be great. Oh wait… I forgot, teenagers turn into adults, apparently. I believe it’s a condition that is most likely not reversible (unless you’re Benjamin Button, that is). So I guess I’m stuck with an ‘almost adult’ child. -
They said it would be easier… they lied
Whoop, there it is! You know… the “mom feelings” that tends to get all over the place while you’re trying to live your life. They have officially moved in. I thought that I had escaped it and that things would be different with this, my third baby. They said it would be easier this time around. I should be a pro by now! Somebody call Felicia Mabuza-Suttle… I deserve a feature already! Well, that’s what I thought anyways… until I realized that I had been catching mom feelings, yet again. And suddenly I was a pro no more.
Back story
If you hang out around here a lot you’ll know that the birth of my first two kids was extremely different. I mean, besides for the lack of husband or maturity that was prevalent when I gave birth to Kyle, more than 16 years ago, I also remember feeling really unprepared and inexperienced (which I was).It was a bit different when Kari was born. I was super duper “spreadsheet brain” prepared to the nineteenth degree of Oprah. I had read all the books, followed all the blogs, registered on all the websites. I mean, I could practically tell my OBGYN how to deliver my baby for me.
But as much as there were differences with my first two births, there were a lot of similarities too. I mean, when Kari was born it reminded me of the overwhelming sense of “this is my baby!” that I experienced when I saw Kyle for the first time, all those years ago. Those mommy feelings catch you unaware and you’re suddenly filled with an explosion of love, purpose and dedication to this tiny human. And it was the same with baby Jo – He’s mine! My baby!But, I must be honest, I was secretly hoping that those other mommy feelings would not follow too. I mean, with this smorgasbord of mom life surely I get to have a choice, right?
Well there were some things that I did NOT want, thank you very much. Things like getting so emotionally attached to your child that hearing him cry in the next room makes your heart jump out of its chest (and your boobs leak). And things like having second (and third and fourth) doubts about getting that babysitter, for a night out, because you can’t bare to leave your baby with someone else.
And let’s not even get into the dreaded “aaack my maternity leave is almost over and now my heart is broken” feeling. I did not want that. Thanks, but no thanks. Put it away, Penelope! I wanted to be independent of all those mommy emotions. I had planned to get out of bed, jet off to work, kick butt and take names (and all those other really cool ways to say that you did a good job today), without sitting and pining at my desk hoping that my little one is not missing me as much as I miss him.
And then, this morning, as I was staring at my beautiful Jo, I had to come to terms with the fact that I can’t escape it – I am his mommy! And yes, I have caught deep and heavy feelings. I’m utterly enamored with this fat cheeked boy! And I’m going to enjoy every minute of this feeling.It is in this vulnerability and weakness where we find our true mommy grit. That deep sense of compassion, fierce need to overprotect and overwhelming feeling of being inlove with this tiny human being who can’t even wipe their own bums yet… that right there is what ties you to this little heart. No one can love your child like you can.
So no, it never gets easier! Being a mommy never gets easier. Because the load is never light. Loving your kids will always weigh heavy on your heart and fill you with the deepest sense of belonging. And I’m okay with it.
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Snazzy new Tommee Tippee sippee cups made this mama happy
So if you guys recall, I previously chatted about the Tommee Tippee sippee cups and how moms around the world claimed that these non-spill cups were prone to mold build up. Pictures circulated the net and the drama was rife. As you can believe, some moms were down right furious, while others were willing to give the popular baby brand another try. I fell into the latter group because I had always been a huge fan of their stuff. Their Closer To Nature bottles were a lifesaver when I struggled to transition Curly from breast to bottle. Sure, the hard to clean non-spill valves on the sippee cup was a concern for me too, but surely the clever people over at Tommee Tippee would do something about it. Right? Well… -
Want to cook like a gourmet chef with Daily Dish?
So if you follow me on social media you may have spotted my cooking frenzy last week, as I attempted to cook with Daily Dish. Well, let me start off by saying that I’ve never been a fancy meal kinda girl. In fact, if anything, I’ve always opted for easy meal ideas for my family… mainly because I don’t have the time, know-how and (let’s face it) special ingredients needed to make fancy shmancy dishes. Are you like me? Well then friend, grab a seat because I may have something special for you. -
Spending more time with my teenager
It’s no secret: I am ill-equipped when it comes to understanding “teenager”. My son and I seem to be on opposite sides of the mental highway lately and it kinda sucks sometimes. Well, okay, most times. He is spending the holiday with his dad in Cape Town and as much as it pains me to be away from any of my kids, I also welcome the much needed break from having to deal with having a growing adolescent at home. But, to be honest, the break has also made me realize that I need to be spending more time with my teenager. And I’m guessing that making him clean the kitchen with me does not qualify as “spending quality time together”. Bummer. Back to the drawing board. Here are a few things I came up with instead: -
Why I don’t pay pocket money for chores
It’s tempting to ‘motivate’ children to do their chores with a little financial incentive. I mean, who’s really winning when you get to pay them just R5 to pack and unpack the dishwasher? But, there is a danger in this and it didn’t take us long to decide, as a family, that chores get done for free. -
The ABC’s of making sure your car is road safe
Changing tyres, renewing license discs and car insurance… look, let’s be honest, as moms (and over all wonder women) we have more important things to worry about! Right? But, if you’re anything like me, you’d prefer to have your finger on it anyways. Maybe it’s my inner control freak speaking, but when it comes to making sure my license disc is renewed and my car is road safe, I’d rather not take fat chances. And hey, not having car insurance is like not having wet wipes in your baby bag – yep, you’re always wondering when the poo is going to hit the proverbial fan. -
My toddler is dramatic and it’s NOT my fault
My two year old brings the drama. Yes, my toddler is dramatic… there, I said it. Oh wait, you think I’m exaggerating. Let me put it to you this way: On a scale of one to Beyonce, she totally ranks when it comes to being over the top. And the thing is, Hubstopher and I are many things, but over the top dramatic is not one of them. (I’m serious guys… no, I mean, in real life, I’m a serious person) So I have no idea where this flair for dramatic expression comes from. Anyone else feel me? Do you have a dramatic, over the top, toddler and you have NO idea how they got that way?
Well, I don’t know about your kid, but mine can give you a stinky side eye, so stinky, that it burns. It’s a look that says “How DARE you!” and I promise she did not learn it from us. She is also quite well versed in being able to tell you that you’re wrong or that you need to leave her alone. Full sentences. Sparing no feeling. (Just ask Kyle who is met with “Go away NOW, Kyle!” when he so much as looks at her). My toddler is the drama in dramatic. But whose fault is it anyways?
I’ve always reiterated that my child is not in her “terrible” twos. She is a terrific two year old! (Speak life, and all of that) And I certainly don’t think that there is anything wrong with her or my parenting skills. Sure, Hubstopher and I do give each other “did you see what she just did” looks and stifle our giggles behind stern expressions. But we definitely do not encourage her to demand her way or our attention. So I did some research (because I have a spreadsheet brain, okay) and learnt that toddies still have a lot of cognitive development to, uhh, develop. They experience things with their whole being (that’s why little things are such a big deal to them). And even more so if the kid has a higher sense of maturity or awareness.Kari is exceptionally clever (I’m really not just saying so out of bias) so she is aware when you’re trying to con her into something or if you’re duping her to get something done. I’ve found that sitting down to explain things to her helps so much more than a simple “no girl, sit girl, lay girl, ata girl.” She wants to know the why’s and the why nots. With that said, she may not always understand the why’s and why nots. Sometimes I need to have a very elaborate back story to help her get it. “You need to brush your teeth so that the goggo’s don’t move in! Let me check and see… ahh okay no goggo’s yet… let’s brush quickly!”
Toddlers are frustrated when they cannot express how they feel or properly communicate their wants or needs. They are also not that skilled in switching from one activity to another yet. (Which explains why they may not do what you need them to do immediately or without fuss). They have no concept of time. They have no control of their emotions. Heck, most of them can’t even poop in a “big people” toilet yet.
In a nutshell, they are just tiny humans who are still busy growing! And that’s nobody’s fault. In fact, it’s a good thing, yo. Nope, they are not misbehaving or acting out. And nope they do not need to be punished or taught a lesson. What they need is to GROW and to be steered in the right direction (with patience and love) while doing so. And that’s a fact. So the next time you’re faced with an Oscar-winning performance, grab your toddler, give ’em a big hug and remind yourself that this too shall pass.
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MyMum: What’s the big deal about muslin?
I love that there are so many new and exciting products available for our little ones. I mean, if I had to choose between today and having to wash my babe’s nappies in the river, with a rock, I would choose today and all it’s new inventions, hands down. With that said, I was especially pleased to learn about MyMum – a PE based baby and mommy brand – and their wonderful muslin and breastfeed friendly products. I got to try some of it out and we would like to give you the opportunity to do so too! (More on that later.) -
Getting my groove back after having a baby
The female body is a wonderful thing. It has been designed with the remarkable ability to accommodate and grow a whole other person. Once the job is complete, the body knows exactly when to eject the tiny human being (albeit with some effort) and then, after birth, bounces back to it’s former glory (I use the word “former” loosely). Though there may be some notable changes to it, post-birth, your body can largely do everything that it could do before the making of said baby. And yet, after having a baby, you somehow still feel ‘changed’. Even if you look the same as you did before.
