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Schnooky Pie Girls Summer 17: Pretty and Practical!
I love that my only daughter is the girliest girl in all the land! She’s like, a proper girly girl. She wears my high heels and jewelry around the house and asks for lipstick and make up. I mean, who chooses to wear heels, at home, for fun?! This girl does. She was especially overjoyed the other day when we opened a beautiful parcel from Jaclyn of Schnooky Pie. The bow bedecked box gave us a sneak peak of the proudly South African clothing brand’s new Girls Summer 17 range. If you guys remember, Kari has modeled for Schnooky Pie before. You can read more about Jaclyn’s amazing story on this post I did over at SA Mom Blogs. -
Maya Deaf Foundation: Teaching your kids about disabilities
How do you feel about teaching your kids about disabilities? I’m going to be honest (because this is my blog and I can if I want to), teaching Kari about disability was not high up there on my list of priorities. NOT because I deemed the topic unimportant. I think that it is super duper important! But I was silly enough to believe that, at her age, my little girl wouldn’t really encounter someone with a disability. After reading about my friends Laz and Ruth’s amazing work that they are doing with Maya Deaf Foundation, I quickly realized how “doff” I was being. The truth is that it’s highly likely that your kid will, at some point, meet someone with special needs. I mean, Laz woke up one morning – at the tender age of seven – suddenly 100% deaf! Can you image that? Waking up to silence? -
Do you hold regular family meetings?
Does your family hold regular family meetings? You know, a gathering of sorts, where you are able to share your thoughts and feelings with each other? Yep, I get it, if you grew up in the *cough* 90’s like I did, a family meeting would be a foreign concept. In fact, it would be laughable! I mean, if we had family meetings back when I was a kid, my mum would respond to my “chores is child labor” claims with a shoe against my face. Well, that is a mild exaggeration, but you get the gist. Parents of the 90’s (and earlier) were not prone to needing the advice or opinion of their children. But things have changed, it seems.
So according to quite a few websites (I’m linking them below), it’s important to hold regular family meetings. These sites claim that families should sit down and deliberate decisions together… as a group. As in, your kid gets to have a say. One expert says that decisions should not be made without the kids consult. Apparently that’s dictatorship and no one wants to be that guy.
I read that holding meetings is a great way to include everyone in the decision making process and it creates a space where you can address issues, openly and calmly. Have you guys tried this at home? Well, I did, the other day. I mean, I figured that we arent living in 19-voetsak anymore and that it would be cool to hear the kids thoughts on certain things. Here’s how ours went down:
Winning
It was cool to address topics that were areas of concern. We brought up sensitive issues and made sure that everyone knew that we would respect each other’s opinion. Kyle (who loves debate) could argue his case and explain how he feels. And we could respond with our reasoning and thoughts on the topic. We then reached an amicable conclusion and were able to move on from the issue.Flopping
Did you read the part where I said that Kyle loves to debate? ‘Cause that. The kid can argue his point until next week, if given the chance. We had to remind him that this was a brainstorming session, and not an opportunity to attack each other. AND most importantly (well, for me probably), we get to have the final say because we are the big people.Conclusion
I think that family meetings are a great idea. But, before you hop right in there Harriet, lay down the law. Have some “family meeting rules” to comply with. In fact, a talking stick is also a really good idea too.Here are other bits of advice I found, that really helped us:
– Create a safe place (no judgies) for everyone to respectfully share their thoughts.
– What happens in Family Meeting, stays in Family meeting.
– For every negative comment, three positive comments must follow.
– Brainstorm ways to do things better, instead of focusing on the problem.
– Write down family goals and determine ways to reach them.
– Set the date for your next family meeting.So, that’s my take on the family meeting. What do you think, moms? Is this something that you’ve implemented in your own home? Please share your advice in the comment section below – you’ll be surprised at how many mama’s draw on the info that they receive in the comments.
Resources:
Centre for Parenting Education
Planning Alt
Lifestyle Plus Centre -
What my kids are playing with: Play-doh and Busy Box toy review
So my little miss has been giving me all the love because I brought home a couple of ultra cool toys from some of our blog friends. Hands in the air if you’re okay with being the cool parent. I know I am. I’ll take my cool points wherever I can get ’em from, thank you very much. Anyways, so you know how I love to give kids educational toys as gifts? Well, the toys I’m going to chat about today tick all the right boxes AND they encourage imaginative play, which is always a winner in my books! -
Teach your child the correct terms for private body parts
The other day Kari and I spoke about private body parts and it made me realize that I was not prepared for the conversation! My toddler is a precocious almost-3 year old who asks #allthequestions and says whatever comes to mind. We are actually quite proud of the fact that she has been able to string whole sentences together, at an early age. So when she wanted to know about the difference between her and her baby brother’s genitals, I realized that I could either faff around and make up ‘snuggly wuggly buggly’ names for it, or I could nip it in the bud and call a spade a spade. So to speak.
I explained to her that a boys private body part is called a penis and a girls is called a vagina and that it is a special area of our bodies, off limits to everyone else! Sheesh – I didn’t think I’d be giving the whole ‘sexual predators talk’ this early. But she is my very first daughter (not that boys are immune, yo) and I wanted to empower her. In fact, teaching your child the standard terms for all of their body parts are important. Yep, even the tough ones like vulva and scrotum. This is particularly helpful in safe guarding your kid against abuse because they begin to view each body part in a serious light, rather than as an awkward, embarrassing topic that should be avoided.
Psychologists (and I’m going to link relevant articles at the bottom to show you guys that I’m not making this up while sipping on my tea) agree that your kid is less likely to tell you if someone is acting inappropriately with them, if they feel embarrassed about their bodies and about talking openly about it. The correct names of their private body parts should not be viewed as a naughty word. In fact, knowing the correct language helps the child in a case where sexual abuse has taken place.Your children need to know that their private body parts are the same as any other body part, except that they are private and important. BUT they are still good, acceptable body parts and not “oopsie” areas. Perpetrators are usually more wary if a child is body conscious. Another article suggests that by ensuring that you only use the correct names for their private areas, it should immediately set off red flags if your kid comes home referring to them with pet names instead. (i.e. where are they hearing this from) By using the correct term, when referring to them, gives your child permission to talk about their genitals freely, should they have a concern.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this, mums. What do you refer to private areas as, when talking to your little one?
These websites offer more insight:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/going-beyond-intelligence/201703/call-children-s-private-body-parts-what-they-are
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/8-reasons-not-to-call-your-childs-genitals-pet-names_us_58743186e4b0eb9e49bfbec3
https://www.today.com/parents/just-say-vagina-using-correct-body-part-names-empowers-kids-6C9551650 -
Bath time with Baby Dove
As is the tradish, Curly and I did our monthly pamper, this time with the new Baby Dove range. I usually enjoy the banter that goes with it. But much to my dismay, the convo quickly went South – literally – as my 2 (almost 3) year old starting asking questions about our nether regions. I literally sat there thinking, woah this escalated quickly, how can I escape?! BUT I took it like a pro and answered her honestly and as clearly as possible. -
Are you an angry mom?
My children make me angry. There, I said it. Oh, sorry, your kids are perfect little poppets and you walk around sniffing roses whole day? That’s great. My children are not angels and I am a human being too, so I can’t relate. Look, I’m not saying that I live my life in permanent “angry mom” mode. Our home is not a war zone and I smile a lot more than I frown, I promise. But sometimes you need to bust out your inner ‘angry mom’ to get the job done. Are you an angry mom too?
When Angry Mom comes, she brings the thunder! Her voices changes and she even growls on occasion. You feel the thunder whether her answer is a cool “no.” or if she spends an hour explaining why you were wrong and what you should have done instead, using as many descriptive words as possible.
Yes, Angry Mom can come across as a tad bit irrational. Her ability to piece together coherent sentences completely overridden by the sheer disbelief of her child’s actions. “Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me!” followed by “answer me when I’m speaking!” or (my personal favorite) “The answer is no because I said so” regardless of the actual reason why the answer is no.Angry Mom is able to contort her face to make the most scariest facial expressions to correctly emphasize her anger. Flaring nostrils, glaring eyes and flushed cheeks blazing! If you are, what I’d like to call, “next level angry mom” (i.e. Angry Mom 2.0) you are able to control your Angry Mom face in public, giving your child a facial expression that says the things you are not able to say out loud… livid on the inside, polite smile on the outside. It’s a skill, really.
But jokes aside, I hate being Angry Mom. I feel like ‘angry mom’ overrides ‘fun mom’ and no one wants to be the uncool parent. I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum – super duper Angry Mom (cape, mask and all) and I’ve been really passive mom. And at the end of the day, I found that my kids actually want me to discipline them. If you read your ‘Parenting Gig’ contract, you’ll find the Angry Mom clause right at the bottom, in fine print. Yep, it is a requirement, to some degree. Disciplining your kid is a requirement. They need it – rely on it even – more than you know! Discipline shows that we care, allows them to learn and reiterates that we are in charge and we know what is best for them!And hey, remember that “discipline” does not mean “punishment”. Discipline is done out of love, to teach and grow. I always remind myself to be mindful of my words – they offer instruction and correction BUT they also have the power to tear down. So I guess what I’m trying to say is, be the Angry Mom, but like, the sober Batman version… don’t go Hulk on them. We don’t want to scar the children for life.
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Extra-murals and the toddler – worth the spend?
Is it just me or has there been a sudden increase in extra-mural activity options for our young ones? I mean, what happened to good ol’ ballet and karate classes? We’ve super-saiyaned guys, and our kids can literally learn how to bake after school on any given afternoon. With that said, I love my kids and as much as I want them to learn #allthethings I don’t know if it’s worth the spend.
We’ve been prompted to have the kideos join a local “monkeynastix” or “action ball” group. I mean, it seemed pretty exciting. Until I heard how much it costs. Sure, it’ll be great for the kid, but not so much for my grocery budget. So instead of catching feelings, about being the worst mom in the world, for not allowing my kid to learn how to catch a ball, I did some further investigating.I found out that toddler gymnastics and ball training activities are pretty easy and I could probably teach them to my kid, in the comfort of my very own backyard. But guys, guess what, kids learn through play – just like how we did “back in the day” when physical play was the norm. It reminded me that we need to get out with our kids more often. They need to build their little muscles through free play by learning to climb and jump and run and hop. They seriously don’t need a special class to teach them how to do those things. Sure there are perks such as socialisation and building core strength. But hey if you can’t afford it (me, I can’t) and your kid is getting enough physical play in, your child will be okay. I promise.
I will be enrolling my little’s for swimming lessons though. I was reminded of the importance thereof today, after reading Simone’s post about the near-drowning of her toddler. But other than that I’d much rather wait it out and see what my kid’s are interested in. I mean, I’m not going to send them for computer classes if they want to learn how to paint. We’re a family of music lovers, so “kindermusiek” or “Dance Kids” maybe? Well, we will cross that bridge when we get there (or is there a class for that too? hehe)Anyways, moms, what are your experiences with toddler extra-mural activities? Share your wisdom with us in the comment section below.
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Snazzy new Tommee Tippee sippee cups made this mama happy
So if you guys recall, I previously chatted about the Tommee Tippee sippee cups and how moms around the world claimed that these non-spill cups were prone to mold build up. Pictures circulated the net and the drama was rife. As you can believe, some moms were down right furious, while others were willing to give the popular baby brand another try. I fell into the latter group because I had always been a huge fan of their stuff. Their Closer To Nature bottles were a lifesaver when I struggled to transition Curly from breast to bottle. Sure, the hard to clean non-spill valves on the sippee cup was a concern for me too, but surely the clever people over at Tommee Tippee would do something about it. Right? Well… -
Why I don’t pay pocket money for chores
It’s tempting to ‘motivate’ children to do their chores with a little financial incentive. I mean, who’s really winning when you get to pay them just R5 to pack and unpack the dishwasher? But, there is a danger in this and it didn’t take us long to decide, as a family, that chores get done for free.
