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My teenage crush didn’t know that we were in a relationship
Come on friends, I’m sure we were all guilty of crushing on a Hollywood heartthrob at some point in our young lives. You know what I’m talking about… that ‘lay in bed, poster on the ceiling, write his name all over our school books’ kinda infatuation that could only be cured by seeing what your first name would look like with his last name next to it. (Tip: Vin Diesel’s surname isn’t really Diesel.)
The Tom Cruise’s and Leonardo diCaprio’s of our time could certainly rival today’s celebrity dreamboat’s and they’d probably win by a mile. (Or is that the ‘old aunty’ in me talking?) I mean, what do these teenyboppers know about Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt and Will Smith when they were in their prime? Nothing. Nothing, you hear me?!
(Shout out to YOU magazine for providing us with solid centerpiece posters to bedeck the walls of our bedrooms until it’s discolored pages had to be removed by the oily prestik’d corners.)
Hands up if you were convinced that Usher would marry you, if only he saw your cleverly choreographed moves, obviously made up while watching his music videos on Channel O.And then while we are on the topic, keep your hands up if you knew the dance moves to ‘N Sync’s “Bye, Bye, Bye.” Own it sister, that’s something to be proud of. Not a single booty roll to be found in the whole sequence. The young people will never understand.
And then, okay be honest, but which Backstreet Boy was your boyfriend? (Nick Carter is the obvious answer, but you can say Kevin too.)
Anyone else still feel heartbreak at the mere thought of Ryan Phillipe’s character dying in Cruel Intentions? How about the disdain when Dawson Creek’s James van der Beek loses to Pacey. Or the soul shatter when Rose (Titanic) watches as Jack’s frozen body sinks into the ocean? (Seriously, Rose, there was enough room on that floating door for the both of you, but that’s another post for another day.)My crush was a certain young man, named Taylor, from a boy band called Hanson. My relationship with Taylor was unlike any other. I mean, for starters, he didn’t know I existed (minor setbacks). I would listen to their (probably one and only) hit song, Mmmbop, over and over with tears in my eyes as I fervently pray that the stars would align, leading young Taylor straight to my front door.
These days I fangirl over things like a well thought out room and a three ingredient Instant Pot recipe. I find myself downloading wallpapers of beautiful beaches, rather than handsome faces, and I dream about a day when a prince on a horse would… well… come and clean my house, while I sip on coffee and eat copious amounts of donuts without picking up weight. You know, the usual stuff.But, for the most part, I think back to my day of pining after a gorgeous celebrity and I smile. I mean, sure, my crushing gave me unrealistic expectations (eg. demanding that my future husband sing like Boys II Men’s Wanya Morris. Sorry Chris.).
But I smile because I’m older and wiser now and I’ve come to realise that my fan girling and celebrity crushing kinda helped those heartthrob’s to maintain their careers (except for diCaprio… hush your mouth when you talk about Leo!)
That’s right my friends, our fan girling helped our celeb crushes to secure fame, you guys. Young girls are the wheel that keeps the pop culture engine a-turning. Teenage girls have power.
So, in essence, your crush needed you more than you needed him. Who’s the dreamboat now?
Drop me a comment below and let me know who your teenage celeb crush was.
Images:
Karen Arnold from Pixabay
Memo Aponte Mille
Uptown Night Club
Hansonstage -
#Covid19 – Why I haven’t been posting about it
So our darling Presi’s official announcement (about a nationwide shutdown) was absolutely well-received last night, right? I mean, for the most part.
Some peeps are still outchere, trying to cheat the system by breaking government rules. Lest your social life be affected by a virus that kills people. I mean, the audacity.
But, for the most part, we’re all very relieved that very stringent measures have been put in place to help #flattenthecurve.
Social media has been quite an interesting place to visit the past few days. I mean, I go there for the Social Justice Unicorns who single-handedly save the world one post at a time, while reprimanding everyone like a headmistress would a naughty child. And I also go there for the “101 things you can do with your kids during a lock down” and the “here’s how you should actually be washing your hands” posts.
But I mainly go there for the posts that are unrelated to Covid-19. I mean, amidst all the doom and gloom, I’m constantly looking for stories of hope and inspiration (and hey, entertainment) so as to keep my stress levels at a minimum.
Consuming one piece of Covid-19 content after another has made me feel, well, a little depressed, you guys. It’s depressing. It’s freaking scary. It’s enough to make you not want to get out of bed in the morning. The weight of the reality of the pandemic is that heavy. And while I want to stay abreast with what’s happening, I’m trying to be responsible, with regards to the type of content I am allowing my brain to consume.
It got me to thinking about your brains. (Unnecessarily gross, I know). I mean, I am responsible for the type of content that I produce. Am I churning out content that is fear-mongering or depression-triggering? Am I aware of the source of information – is it fake news? Am I 100% sure that it’s not?
Anyways, needless to say, I’ve had a lot to
obsessthink about while I figure out my new normal, with regards to this blog and my social media presence.
After much mulling around, I finally reached a conclusion: I don’t want share a lot of random content with regards to Covid-19.I want to post content that uplifts and entertains, rather than content that makes you feel as if you need to plan how you’re going to consume your husband’s remains when the food runs out. (Unnecessarily gross again, I can’t help myself…)
Is coronavirus a real threat? Well, yes. The pandemic should (obvz) be taken seriously. But, besides for resharing actual news stories (you know, from reputable media sources), I probably won’t be basing all of my content around Covid-19.
I admit: it’s going to be pretty inauthentic to fill my pages with the usual content, when the world is facing something so terrible. I’ll also admit, I do have a few brand campaigns running, that I had committed to prior to Presi’s announcement. And then another admit: I know that it’s going to feel lank weird to talk about arb ish, while I’m sitting at home, praying for our country.
But I will try to keep my posts upbeat and interesting, to the best of my ability, curbing the sponsored stuff (besides for a few more that I really want to share) and sticking to stories that distract you from our current pains, atleast for a little bit.
And my solemn promise to you is that if I share anything Covid-19 related it will be factual and helpful. I promise to help you to fix your mind on whatever is good and helpful and hopeful and truthful. And even if I don’t have a recipe for making your own hand sanitizer at home, I hope to better your day (atleast for a few seconds while you skim through these posts) with articles that make this shutdown a little more brighter.
For the most part, I plan to write stories from the heart (call it entertainment, inspiration, madness, whatevs) with the intention of making the next 21 days a little less gloomier. And hopefully, once all of this is over, we’ll both come out on the other side, changed but not scarred.
Image by Miguel Á. Padriñán from Pixabay
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Do you have a favorite child?
Okay, be honest (and you’re allowed to be… no judgies over here): do you have a favorite child?
Don’t look at me like that, Susan. I’m not asking you to pick which one you’d save in a fire. (But okay, while we’re on it, which one? Kidding!)
I know the immediate response to this question would be shock, horror, outrage, guilt. But having a favorite child is not as uncommon as you think.
I mean, if you had to take a quick scroll through my Instagram feed you would see that I talk about some of my kids a heck of a lot more than I do the others. I’m not even going to deny it. It’s there.
But, to be honest, when it comes to topics of conversation, Jonah’s drummer antics and Kari’s love for fashion honestly feels a lot more “sharey” than telling people what colour Asher’s poo was yesterday.
And our teenage sons would rather I don’t take pics of them… or talk about them… or talk to them… or look at them for too long… or breathe in the same air as them…So a lot of my current time is spent talking about my two littlest
bratskids. It is what it is. That doesn’t mean that they are my favorites. Gasp! What type of a mom do you think I am?! (FYI: I’m not like a regular mom, I’m a cool mom. #moviequote)But, what if I told you that research suggests that most parents have a favorite child. Some studies say that shared interests, birth order and gender play a huge part in this. And even if you feel that you don’t have a favorite, you most likely show preferential treatment to one of your kids, in some way or other.
Now, contrary to popular belief, having a favorite child doesn’t actually mean that you love one kid more than the other. People (you know, the clever people who get paid to find these things out) say that your perceived favorite usually is the one that your personality resonates with more.
Favoritism is essentially behavior-based… usually unconscious. And it’s essentially very fluid, since you could probably change your mind about it every day/week/month.
So yes, a favorite child isn’t that uncommon. But, I mean, don’t go all crazy with the cherry-picking. You don’t want to unintentionally create a sibling rivalry (ala Mufasa vs Scar). Blatantly favoring one kid over the other could potentially create insecurities that would lay a foundation for deeper issues.
I guess you could say that the ideal solution would be to not have favorites. But, to me, I try to make them all my favorite. (I know, how whimsical sounding)
But seriously, you guys, if I had to choose a fave, it would be the child that is the most well behaved (because mama’s tired).So yes, as you can see, I’m kinda torn when it comes to choosing a favorite. I think that each of them are a favorite in their own special way. I mean, they each embody something that I love, treasure and favor.
But I’m definitely more aware of my subconscious motivations… striving to love each of them exactly how THEY NEED me to love them, as individuals. And being aware of the things that set them apart… all my favorite things about them.
And, if we’re going to be completely transparent about this, they all contribute equally to mama being ‘zausted, so I guess there’s an element of balance.
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‘Breastfeeding 101’ points out the myths and truths of breastfeeding {Giveaway!}
My introduction to breastfeeding was an unwanted one. I was only 18 years old and I remember being so thankful that the challenging pregnancy and pain of childbirth was over.
Finally my life (and body) will return to some sort of normal, right?
But no… this was not the case. The nurse (probably shocked at my age) sternly instructed me to feed my baby. I felt a range of emotions. My body was still not my own. I had already given up 9 months of my youth to house another life. Do you mean to tell me, I now have to give up my flesh yet again, to feed the culprit too?!
The disappointment was quickly replaced with feelings of guilt (I mean, how dare I feel this way) and an overbearing sense of finality. In that moment, the young, immature, 18 year old me quickly fell away, as I realised that my life will never be the same again.
No more a girl, I had graduated into motherhood. Someone’s mother. Someones carer. I was my baby’s nurturer and sustenance… and he was my responsibility. This was my new normal.
Breastfeeding 101
Maybe your breastfeeding story looks a lot different to mine. Maybe there are similarities. Whatever the case, I know that the reality of breastfeeding can hit you right in the jugular, without you even preparing for it!
This is the very reason why I was so drawn to Leah Hawker’s phenomenal new book, Breastfeeding 101. Friends, you need to read this one! In it, Leah shines a spotlight on 101 women, telling their often surprising stories about their journey with breastfeeding.
With gorgeous portraits, accompanied with candied stories as told straight from the “mamas mouth”, Leah explores personal truths, myths and attitudes towards the subject of breastfeeding, inevitably raising topical questions about how women feel about themselves, how they are seen by others and how they are marketed to.
I was so drawn to each story – relating to each on a different level. There is beauty in the difference and I love how Leah unpacks the multiple facets of breastfeeding, by creating a space where we can connect, as women and share a “wow, me too” moment as we page through her book.
The incredibly beautiful images, that accompany each story, paints a picture of what it means to be proudly and diversely South African AND united by the overwhelming task of Motherhood, all at the same time.
Leah says: “This was an important project to me because the subject is a central axis for current debates and highlights the current influences and outside factors affecting women, breastfeeding and infant health,” says Hawker. “The book tells unique stories and reveals surprisingly uncommon knowledge. My interest, as an image maker, is looking at women’s entire identities and the multitude of facets that these can be composed of.
Now, after photographing 101 portraits, I realise there is still so much we don’t know about the subject and even about what women experience when they become mothers.
The current influences and outside factors affecting women, breastfeeding and infant health are substantial. The stories told in this book are therefore important ones.”
My friends, if you’re a book lover, or you’re looking for something fascinating to add to your coffee table, trust me, you want this book! It is a stunning collection of work by one of our own and I highly recommend it! It is available for purchase via Exclusive Books, The Book Lounge and directly from the author at R385. You can contact Leah Hawker via email or visit her website.
About the author: Leah Hawker is a South African professional photographer. Her work covers birth, nudes, documentary features, art-based and editorial projects. Her most recent diptych titled “60 days (Pen & Hlomla)”, a reflection on motherhood and infant mortality, showed at the 2018 Sasol New Signatures Awards in the Pretoria Art Museum. The images exhibited were created during her Breastfeeding 101 project, which has taken three years.
Win a copy of Breastfeeding 101!Leah Hawker is giving away a copy of her gorgeous book, Breastfeeding 101, to one lucky reader!
To enter, simply follow the prompts below:
1. Find the specially marked post on Instagram and follow instruction to grab 1 entry.
2. Find the specially marked post on Facebook and follow instruction to grab 1 entry.
3. Comment below and let me know what you think of the book, to grab 1 entry.Giveaway open to SA residents only. Winner announced on 6 December and has 24 hours to claim prize.
(EDITED: This giveaway has been extended! Winner to be announced on 16 December.)
This review and giveaway was done in collaboration with Leah Hawker. All images in this post was supplied by and is the property of Leah Hawker.
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Christmas gift idea: CUM Books daily planners for the whole family! {Giveaway!}
If you’re looking for that perfect gift idea for someone who, like me, gets a little thrill at the mere thought of having to plan something, well look no further friend! Us Polly Planners love stationery… and we go gaga for really pretty and clever bullet journals, wall calendars and daily planners. I mean, you could call it an obsession, but not to my face.
Anyways, I recently received a bunch of fabulous daily planners and devotionals from our friends over at CUM Books and I pretty much went mental! Everything is so gorgeous! And there is something for everyone!
For her
I’ve always been so impressed with CUM Books wide variety of gorgeous daily planners. In spite of the digital era (and yes, I do have a digital calendar) I find that jotting things down in a planner (even thoughts and prayers, yo!) brings me to an immediate place of calm.
In fact, going into meetings, or simply planning my kids birthday party, is made so much easier when I know that I am storing information in one place, for easy reference. But besides for that, a beautiful daily planner makes me feel way more organised, even when I’m not! I know, I’m pretty loony toons sometimes. If you’re just like me (welcome, friend), then you totally should show this post to your husband and ask him to get you one of these:
Daily Planner For Women 2020 Large Grace And Glory Rose Gold/Zip (LuxLeather)You guys know (because I speak about it all the time, like a crazy person) that I am a sucker for the stunning CUM Books, luxe leather, zip up daily planners. In fact, I’ve had one every year for the past five years and it goes EVERYWHERE with me.
I was so chuffed to get my hands on this rose gold detailed 2020 planner… I’m all set for next year, friends! Besides for the weekly scripture and inspirational quotes that I simply LOVE reading, I also appreciate the ample space for daily appointments, prayers and priorities. I use the monthly planning to scope out my whole month and I enjoy the “page a day” styled lay out, for my day to day planning.
There are a bunch of handy info kits in the planner, such as a list of public holidays, international dialing codes, measurements and conversions, and a wedding anniversary gift guide. This would make a perfect Christmas gift and it only costs R200. Bargain.
Daily Planner For Women 2020 Living Life Well Floral (Hardcover)If you’re a busy lady, wanting to make sure that you’re keeping your priorities in check, then this is the daily planner for you! Complete with space for daily appointments, prayers and even a space to jot down your daily priorities, this hardcover is the perfect hand bag addition! I like that it also offers you a monthly planner and that you’re able to plan ahead for 2021 in it, as well.
And friends, you KNOW I’m here for the scripture verses and inspiring quotes, strewn through out the planner. I mean, sometimes it’s exactly what you need to read on that specific day. God is intentional like that, yo. The Daily Planner For Women 2020 Living Life Well retails for R190.
Wirebound Daily Planner 2020 His Mercies (Wirebound)
If you’re looking for something a lot more lightweight, to quickly jot down appointments and notes in, the CUM Books selection of wirebound planners are perfect for you. Unlike the “page a day” planners, this one will help you to get a brief overview of what your week will look like, in once glance, and provides space for priorities and even a shopping list.
Oh and, yep, the designs are beautiful! These are such a bargain at only R49 each!
For him
My husband is not the most organised person in the world. There, I said it. And this is not me bashing him… the man has other strengths and that’s okay. I found my greatest joy (I’m such a simple folk) in teaching him how to use our shared digital calendar. This way we both always know what is in each other’s diary’s. BUT, I’ve discovered that he also needs to have a physical calendar/diary with him each day.
These are usually filled with day-to-day doodles and important information (written on the wrong date… sigh). He also enjoys having a handsome looking diary to take with him into important meetings. Because of this, I always make sure that he has one of the beautiful CUM Books daily planners with him. There are a range of diary’s available for men. Take a look at these!
Angus Buchan Daily Planner 2020 (Hardcover)Renowned author and evangelist, Angus Buchan, features in this stunning hardcover planner. With sepia-toned text, ample space for notes, addresses and personal information and inspirational verses and quotes from Uncle Angus himself, this makes for a really rad Christmas gift! Retails at R190.
A Year of Grace Large Print (Hardcover)
Pair your planner with a faith-filled daily devotional, like this ‘A Year of Grace’ hardcover, also by Angus Buchan and you kinda have the perfect gift! These retail at R250.
For the kids
I recently shared about the new Christmas gift trend that is encouraging parents to not overspend when shopping for their kids, this Christmas. So the mantra is: “get them something they want, something they need, something to wear and something to read.” I simply love this!
I think that a great school diary is definitely a “something they need”. CUM Books has a range of trendy devotionals, inspirational school diary’s and daily planners that would definitely have your kid’s eyes gleaming on Christmas morning. Check out some of my faves:
My School Diary 2020 (Paperback)This funky daily planner is designed to help young learners stay on top of their school work, while doodling their way through the year. Some of the features include an assignment planner, grade tracker and exam timetable template. I also really love the addition of a list of multiplication tables and a list of tricky words and how to use them correctly. Seriously, how clever?!
As always, the diary comes complete with encouraging scripture verses and inspirational quotes, to keep your young learner inspired and thinking positively. This is an absolute bargain at only R49!
The One Year Mother-Daughter Devotional (Paperback)If you’re a mom of a pre-teen or teenager, you will find such reward in this breathtaking ‘One Year Mother-Daughter Devotional’. Firstly, I am so inlove with the idea of walking through a devotional with my daughter.
This one, in particular, is designed to strengthen the relationship between a mother and her daughter, as they spend time with God together. The “girl gab” section will help the pair to better understand scripture and their personal relationships with God. Topics for the devotions include modesty, purity, self-esteem, handling emotions, witnessing, living the faith. This one retails at R200 and is also available in Afrikaans under the title Die Eenjaar Ma en Dogter dagboek.
Win a CUM Books 2020 Daily Planner hamper for the whole family!
We’re giving away a stunning 2020 Daily Planner hamper, compliments of CUM Books! To enter, simply follow the prompts below:
1. Find the specially marked post on Instagram and follow instruction to grab 1 entry.
2. Find the specially marked post on Facebook and follow instruction to grab 1 entry.
3. Comment below and let me know which of these planners have caught your eye, to grab 1 entry.Giveaway open to SA residents only. Duplicate entries will not be counted. Winner announced on 6 December and has 24 hours to claim prize.
This review and giveaway was done in collaboration with CUM Books.
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The pros and cons of having a big family
I sometimes wonder if I give off a false sense of “okayness”. I mean, I’m not sure if I accurately portray the fact that it’s flippen challenging to parent many (many) kids while maintaining your sanity, career and marriage all at the same time. I’m sure that having a big family (AND a blended family, nogals) may appear to be very Kardashian-esque… you know, all quirks and light-hearted bickering while eating salad in the kitchen at midnight. But having a large-ish family is not all TV sitcom moments and learning life lessons the quirky way.
So to prove a point (aka my kids are all napping and I have nothing to do because I’m boring), I thought to list the pros and cons of having a big family:
Pro – After giving birth many (many) times, you’re basically your own midwife and your babies practically “walk out”. I know, the visual is gross, but you get the gist. You kinda know what to do and you’re more aware of your body and what it is capable of, so birthing your third, fourth and fifth kid is less daunting.Con – After giving birth many (many) times, your body forgets what shape it was in, pre-babies. I don’t know what “alone” feels like anymore. It also takes a touch longer to “snap back” because you have additional lives to care for.
Pro – You become an expert memory maker because you have a few more people to make memories with. I mean, now that we’re more than 4 people everything is ‘next level’ and I can’t help but be a little bit (read: alot ALOT) extra, when planning special celebrations, or weekend activities.
Con – You become an expert memory maker and therefore you are permanently tired and broke. Consider the fact that you now have to feed many (many) faces and paying a 50 bucks entrance fee is suddenly not as affordable because there are six of you.
Pro – You permanently have little arms around your neck or little voices filling your head with entertaining stories or older kids bombarding you with their big ideas and dreams. And when you’re sitting at the supper table, enjoying the symphony of voices, as everyone tries to tell their story at the same time, you catch your husbands eye and share a “isn’t this moment absolutely perfect?!” grin. It feels good to belong to a grand group of various sized people who each have their own personality.
Con – You permanently have little arms around your neck… like, constantly. Like, my child is practically a limb I never knew I had. Also, their voices do not have a volume control or mute button. And yes, its wonderful to hear your older kids big dreams but seriously, they often aren’t that realistic and it takes all the patience in the world to not want to tell them to go read a book. You catch your husbands eye and give him a death stare while trying to say the words “take your children away from me!” without, you know, actually saying it because that would make you a terrible parent.
Pro – When it comes to marriage, adding many (many) kids to the package makes it somewhat sweeter. I mean, you have miniature versions of both of you running around being all cute. The two of you get to work towards the common goal of raising your kids to be decent and successful adults and you feel a sense of accomplishment at each prize giving and school concert.Con – When it comes to marriage, adding many (many) kids to the package sometimes means that you forget that your husband was your boyfriend a few years ago. He has since graduated to driver, dog poop pick upper, shop runner and the person who allowed the toddler to tear your tissues up into tiny pieces while he was watching a soccer game. It takes some effort to maintain the spark in your marriage when you’re both drained emotionally and physically. And no, attending yet another school concert does not qualify as a date. Put some effort in, would ya?!
Pro – Your family photos are lit. I mean, there are a whole bunch of you and you’re all wearing outfits in the same colour scheme, so it’s very much Brady Bunch vibes. People see your photos on Facebook and Instagram and comment to let you know how blessed you are and how inspiring your family is and that you guys are parenting goals etc. I mean, life couldn’t get any sweeter than that.
Con – Your family photos are lit. No, I mean, one of your kids actually set your photo album on fire, while you were trying to cook, bath the baby, help with homework and have a constructive conversation with your husband, all at the same time. Jokes aside though, people see your photos on Facebook and Instagram and comment to let you know how blessed and inspiring you are and you say thanks (with a smiley face emoticon and/or a ‘lol’) but deep down you KNOW that its merely a fluke and the work of the Lord that you’re all still in one piece because raising a large family is pretty intense!
Okay, okay, I must admit, I gosh-darn love my big family! Is it hectic? Uhh yes! But do I regret having many (many) children? Uhhh yes again! KIDDING! I love my kids… I can’t imagine having a quiet life and being able to actually sit on a couch without someone needing me.
So even though I joke around about it, I am so thankful for my many (many) children and I look forward to receiving many (many) returns on investment once they are able to buy me Mother’s Day gifts.
Disclaimer: Whatever family looks like to you, I’m sure it’s beautiful! I am simply sharing from my own personal experience – i.e. a large family, with many (many) kids.
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Get sun smart with Oh-Lief’s organic sunscreen {Win!}
Guys, we love Summer! We are water babies and would do anything to be in the pool for, like, the whole month of December. I’m hoping that this love of swimming and sun-soaked pool days will rub off on my kids.
To kick start this communal – uh – love affair with Summer, I made sure to get my smallies some funky swimming gear and sun hats. I also knew that I had to stock up on sunscreen because sunburn is no joke. So I was quite keen to try out Oh-Lief’s new range of organic sunscreen.
I mean, this local family business has been around for more than 9 years. If you’re big on earth-friendly product, that boasts 100% natural, raw and organic ingredients, then you need to give Oh-Lief a try. (Plus #proudlysouthafrican – did I mention that yet?)
One of my favorite things about the Oh-Lief range of sunscreens is that it’s made using non-nano zinc oxide… which sounds like a bunch of clever words to say. But what this actually means is that the natural soft mineral sits on the skin and isn’t easily absorbed. So it acts like a real sun BLOCK, protecting your skin, without absorbing into your bloodstream. Super important, especially when you consider the fact that your tiny humans will be wearing this cream on their skin.
The Oh-Lief sun care range contains body sunscreen, face sunscreen and a face stick.
Oh-Lief Natural Body SunscreenThe body sunscreen is lightweight on the skin and is fragrance free. I like that it is SPF30 and water resistant… I mean, we plan to never be out of the water! It provides UVA and UVB protection (which means it a broad spectrum sunblock) and won’t irritate your skin, dry it out or clog your pores. This is perfect if your kid has sensitive skin.
Oh-Lief Natural Face Sunscreen
A special sunscreen for your face is a thing and yep, it’s so important, you guys. This one contains green Rooibos which is a powerful anti-oxidant that is apparently 200 times more effective than vitamin E. This means its super good at protecting the skin and it even repairs existing damage! You can wear it directly on your skin or under make-up.
Can you believe it took about two years for them to formulate this special sunscreen? They’ve put only the best stuff in here… including non-toxic ingredients such as beeswax, carrot, zinc oxide and pomegranate extracts.
Oh-Lief Natural Face Stick
And while we’re on that topic of the face, the Oh-Lief natural face stick is such a must have! The compact tube is perfect for your beach bag or handbag. The unique formula, containing beeswax and coconut oil is so beneficial for your skin and contains an SPF30.
Win with Oh-Lief and Mom Says!You can win the entire Oh-Lief baby range (including the entire sunscreen range) and R500 cash compliments of Mom Says. The prize is valued at a whopping R1479!
To enter, simply pop into your nearest Dischem and purchase any Oh-Lief product. Share a pic of your product on social media and tag @momsaysa and the hashtag #MomSaysOhLief. Competition closes 10 November at midnight. Opened to South Africans only.
Hot tip! You get a special 20% Oh-Lief products (all except the sun care range) if you shop at Dischem before 8 November!
(This competition is not endorsed or sponsored by Instagram or Facebook. Winner is chosen randomly by
MomSays.) -
Cocoa Life: How eating your fave chocolate is changing lives
You do know that chocolate really does grow on trees, right? Nope, I’m not selling Willy Wonka dreams here, my friends. The cocoa beans used to make your favourite chocolate grows on cacao trees – with more than 70% of the world’s cocoa grown by farmers in West Africa. (See why I love living in Africa?)
A few days ago we had the opportunity to sit down with Yaa Peprah Amekudzi, the inspirational Head of Cocoa Life Ghana, who explained that most of the cocoa farms, in West Africa, are family-owned. And, unfortunately, due to things like climate change, disease and lack of access to new farming methods, many of those farmers have seen their yields dwindling over the last few years.
Good Cocoa, Good Chocolate
Because of this, Cadbury has stepped up to the plate (the chocolate plate?), establishing the Cocoa Life Programme in 2012, which serves to improve the lives of farmers who are doing the important job of growing those “chocolate trees”. (my chocoholic pals – hollar!)
The Cocoa Life Programme directly contributes to sustainable farming and responsible sourcing, reaching more than 40,000 cocoa farmers in 450 communities across 17 districts in five regions of Ghana’s cocoa belt!
This means: the programme basically invests in community development, strengthening cocoa communities and inspiring the next generation of cocoa farmers. I love this so much!“Essentially, the aim of Cocoa Life is to ensure the cocoa that goes into Cadbury products is ‘made right’,” says Yaa.
“Making it right means tackling the complex challenges that cocoa farmers face by working hand-in-hand with the men and women who make their living from cocoa, focusing on where we can make a difference to transform the cocoa sector by inspiring lasting change, rooted in deep understanding, sector-wide collaboration and partnerships.”
According to Yaa, the programme touches on seven focus areas namely; child protection, community, environment, farming, livelihoods, women empowerment and youth development.
It also trains almost 150 000 farmers to grow cocoa more effectively. I mean, this includes so many things from identifying crop diseases to managing the soil and using chemicals responsibly. The new farming technology that these communities are introduced to helps to improve productivity and profitability.And you guys, it doesn’t end there. Cocoa Life also helps to provide female farm workers with the opportunity to set up small businesses, extending initiatives to microfinance schemes, village savings and loans.
To you it may be a delicious slab of chocolate. But to so many families, it is a source of income and when the cocoa season is on hold, these families need to find other ways to sustain their livelihood.So next time you pick up a slab of chocolate, check for the Cocoa Life stamp, which will be on all Cadbury Dairy Milk slabs from July 2019. And then give yourself a pat on the back for supporting farmers on our continent by simply purchasing product made from their farm yields.
More information about Cocoa Life and their initiatives around the world can be found on their website, www.cocoalife.com.
More about Yaa Peprah AmekudziYaa Peprah Amekudzi has been the country lead of Cocoa Life since its establishment 10 years ago when it was then known as the Cadbury Cocoa Partnership, forging strategic partnerships with government and non-governmental agencies to deliver the objectives of Cocoa Life. Starting with 100 communities in 7 districts, Yaa has expanded Cocoa Life to cover 450 communities in 17 districts within a period of 10 years, directly impacting 38,421 cocoa farmers and 415,464 community members of which 224,301 are young persons.
All the photos in this post were taken at the Mondelez International Cocoa Life Programme Bloggers Lunch, at No. 5 by Mantis, Summerstrand Port Elizabeth. The event was hosted by ECMeetUp. Photographer: Odette Johaar Photography
Disclaimer: This post was sponsored by ECMeetUp
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Co-parenting: I failed my child
I chat about single parenting, co-parenting and the blended family a lot on this here blog. But I always try to keep it neutral when it comes to sharing the deets of my own life and situations, simply because my story isn’t only MY story and I want to respect the privacy of all parties involved in our co-parenting journey. So you’ll often find me referencing a friend or family member when chatting about these topics… I mean, most blended families experience the same kind of challenges anyways.
But today I need to share from my own personal experience. I need to tell you guys what is on my heart. And I need to be transparent or else the guilt will consume me.
So this past weekend we celebrated my boy’s Matric Dance. It was a huge deal for me (as I explained here) because I single-parented my way through most of his schooling since his dad lives in another part of the country. So yes, guys, I hired the backdrop, made sure my family wore matching outfits and I even arranged tables of finger foods (you know, old school style) because it was a worthy celebration.
I thought that I had done right by my child, but alas, all was not well. He wasn’t happy. The puffy eyes told me so.
It turns out no matter how fancy his photo backdrop or how delicious the finger foods were, one thing was missing for him. His dad. The boy needed the reassurance that only a bio dad can give, I guess. But all he got was silence.
I knew this would happen. In fact, I spent the week EXPECTING the guy to be a no-show. Kinda WANTING him to prove me right, so that I could have that “I told you so!” moment and somehow feel vindicated. I mean, that would prove to everyone that I’m not just a disgruntled “baby mama” who nags about everything (as we do, apparently)… right?
But when the day of said vindication came, instead of feeling as if I won, I felt like a loser… like I had failed my child. Seeing the longing on his face totally broke me.
I was completely at war with myself… blaming myself for what could have been. I mean, I could have done more to give my child what he so desperately needed that day… a little bit of his bio dad.
I’m a creative lass. I could have made a plan to get the kid’s father to somehow be present… booked a plane ticket, bus ticket, whatever it took.
Or maybe I should have gotten his dad and “other” family to send through video clips congratulating him. I could even have made a photo collage or a video montage, to give the kid the feeling that his bio dad is here, even if just in thought. I should have let the boy know that his bio dad is proud of him, even if he didn’t actually say this with his own mouth (to me, atleast).
Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda.
After some deep introspection, I realised that I needed to let go of the guilt. I had been walking around with anger (towards the guy and towards myself) and it wasn’t helping the situation. I mean, instead of wanting the kid’s dad to be a great father, I kinda set him up for failure (in my heart, atleast) by expecting the worst. And instead of reassuring my child, I allowed myself to operate in spite.
I was reminded that, as the baby mama, spitefulness and vindictiveness will only HURT YOUR CHILD. Your child’s heart is more important than the need to be proven right. I mean, sure you can’t force the other parent to be present, but wouldn’t you want that for your child anyways?
I learnt that the key ingredient to successfully co-parenting your kid is to remove your ego. I can’t control you (or make you respond to my messages) but I can control me and my motive. It’s my job to be the best parent to my child… whether my ego likes it or not. Walking in grace and forgiveness isn’t a temporary thing for “when I feel like it”. It’s constant and it is meant to be applied to ALL relationships in your life… even the challenging ones that involve your kid’s other parent.
I am so thankful that God’s mercies are new every morning and that we get an opportunity to try again, no matter how messy the situation seems.
Clip note: I married the BEST man in the whole entire world, friends. Hubstopher totally stepped up and did everything and more to fill the missing hole. After the dance, the two of them had a great heart to heart, which I do believe brought a lot of healing.
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Matric Dance celebrations: how big is too big?
Depending on where you grow up, your Matric Dance (aka “prom”) evening can be as simple as “just another night on the town” or as extravagant as a wedding. My brown people usually opt for the latter, going the extra mile with the send off, sparing no expense on draping the dining room (for the photos mos), expensive catering and the hiring of high end luxury vehicles to make that special night that much more special.
It’s a big night – big celebrations must be had! I totally get and support that. But I guess it’s not for everyone. I’ve had chats with people who were like, uhmmm no I’m not spending extra money on this. In fact, my own Matric Dance send off was very NOT over-the-top. There were no gushing family members guzzling down pastries, no hired photographer and guys, I didn’t even have a fancy car waiting outside for me. Was my evening amazing? Well, yes it was. I mean, not having those things didn’t, like, scar me for life.
A simple send off worked quite well for me. But guys, it’s my firstborns Matric Dance this coming weekend and I’m going way bigger than I had planned! (Okay way bigger for me – but maybe not big enough, for some.)Yes, my friends, I’ve morphed into that mother (you know, the next level extra one I spoke about last week) and find myself hiring a 2 meter photo backdrop and arranging a 5 meter string of fairy lights, for the occasion. I also have things like: savory platters, curling custard, after party clothes and “funky socks” on my To Pay For list. Who am I evens?!
Will my family and I wear color-coordinated outfits for the event? Probably. Did I allow Kyle to send out invitations to all his friends and their cats? Definitely. Am I planning to make a long-winded speech, that will most likely end in tears? Without a doubt.
All of a sardine having a simple Matric Dance send off is like, totally ludicrous! MUST. DO. THE. MOST!
Suddenly I want to hire Emo Adams to MC and I want to send everyone home with a party pack. I find myself Googling things like “how to make pyrotechnics” and “how much does it cost to hire a Lamborghini Diablo in Port Elizabeth”. My plans of a simple Matric Ball send off all a forgotten memory as I shop around for a photographer, a videographer and someone who could maybe film a music video because “that hasn’t been done yet.”
Truth be told, a Matric Dance kinda symbolises the end of an era. For the kid it means their adulting days are looming. For the parents: we don’t have to pay school fees anymore (and the crowd goes rah!) and we finally get to see the fruit of our labour. (And by labour I am most definitely referring to the 3 hours worth of homework we have to dohelp with each night.)I mean, hey, I kinda raised this boy all by myself (with help of family members and amazing friends). I paid for expensive schooling, sat through treacherous hours of completing assignments due the next day, helped to memorise facts about South African history that even I didn’t know and attended school “family days” where the only family around was me because his dad lived in a different city and that’s just how single parenting works.
Sure, each family celebrates differently – and that’s okay! But for my boy and I, having a simple Matric Dance send off just wouldn’t make sense if I consider the bumpy roads and the obstacle courses we navigated successfully.
We have a lot to celebrate! And that, my dear, is totally worth draping the dining room, long winded speeches and expensive catering.
Matric 2019 – we made it!
Photo credits:
Header image: Photo by victoria on Unsplash
Pic of Ronelle and I, taken at my wedding by Donna van der Watt
Black and white pic of Kyle and I, taken like, 12 years ago, not sure where
