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Inducing labour: My birth story
As far as these things go, I’ve always considered myself pretty expert at giving birth. My first two deliveries were quick and easy and yes, there was pain, but I could handle it to the point that I laughed through most of the contractions. Literally, laughed. But the birth of my son, last Thursday was way different. I think that inducing labour played a big role in that. But hey, let’s start at the beginning:
The beginning
My doc knew that I was super keen to give natural birth. I was convinced that Jonah would practically walk out of my womb, so to speak. But my last gynae visit showed us a very big Jonah and he didn’t seem too eager to make an appearance anytime soon. Given the fact that I was a few days away from my due date, my doc suggested that we induce labour. I mean, the kid was growing each day! There was also the concern about him being too big for my pelvis and all the other medical mumbo jumbo that made sense. I asked doc for a week to try to get things going myself. If nothing happened, we would be back the following Wednesday.Inducing labour at home
And so the semi freak out began – I was determined to get labour started naturally! I even blogged about it over here, if you recall. Some of my concerns about a chemical induction was just that: It would be CHEMICAL. When you give birth naturally, your body releases certain hormones that makes it easier to do what it needs to do. It also helps you to handle the pain of childbirth. A chemical induction overrides all of this and is therefore more painful. Also, it could speed up the labour process which is not always a good thing, thus resulting in a C-Sec. And hey, there is nothing wrong with giving birth via Cesarean, but it was not what I wanted for me and my baby. Anyways, so I tried to induce labour at home but nothing seemed to be working! Finally, my Hubstopher grabbed me by the hands and gave me a good ol’ pep talk – “everything will be fine!” I decided to enjoy my last few days of pregnancy, because you know what, life is too short to do squats with a nearly 4kg baby boy lodged in your belly!Induction day
Finally Wednesday arrived – the day of the hospital induction. We packed bags and kissed our kids goodbye (which is another blog post for another day). I prayed and remembered all the things that I had learnt from the book that I had been reading – Supernatural Childbirth by Jackie Mize. The book speaks about how God has designed our female bodies to form human life and give birth, naturally and successfully! I believed all of those promises for this birth. Once at the hospital, the nurse checked and saw that I was 1cm dilated. They decided to give it a night to monitor me and see if things will progress naturally. I watched TV, read alot, ate Macdonalds (no judgies) and a couple of hours later I had nothing to report. Nothing happened. Absolutely nothing. I woke up the following morning feeling like a loser. Jonah was meant to be here already!Don’t go chasing waterfalls
The doc decided to induce me at 9am that Thursday morning by way of Pitocin – a synthetic form of the hormone Oxytocin. In a nutshell, Oxy is your friend… it’s the hormone that makes your uterus contract and spurs on labour. Pito is the chemical version of this wonder hormone – it stimulates the uterus. It’s usually given to moms by way of vagina, orally or via an IV. Sometimes, it’s administered all three ways, in various stages of labour. My doc chose the former option and said that she might not even give it to me orally because she thinks it would be enough to get labour going. And she was right. I spent most of the day on the bouncy ball, to get baby moving in the right direction. My doctor came to see me at 12ish and at this point my contractions were mild. She then ruptured my membranes (aka “waters breaking”) and I am pleased to say that I finally had my TV moment. My waters came out in a gush instead of the trickle-trickle I had experienced with my previous two pregnancies. I laughed, and continued to laugh each time I had a contraction because the gushing did. not. stop. I’m talking “somebody left the tap open!” gushing waters. It was a good sign, apparently.Ish gets real
At 4pm the doc decided to administer Oxytocin via IV. This is meant to encourage the uterus to contract and let me tell you, the minute the hormone hit my blood stream, the contractions were super duper intense. I remembered everything that I had read in Supernatural Childbirth though. Every contraction is literally the muscles in my tummy doing it’s job to get my baby boy out. So that’s what I focused on, and I did it rather well, to the point where I heard my nurse tell the doc that I am “comfortable” and won’t be giving birth anytime soon. I had to call her and let her know that I am definitely NOT comfortable and I WILL be giving birth soon and she needs to check me to see for herself! She did and yup I was nearly fully dilated. She was totally shocked at my lack of dramatic screaming but I had peace and knew how to channel my energy into focusing on each contraction and not on the pain.I need to push!
At 6pm I told her that I need to push, she told me it would probably take me another hour and half to reach that point. But the Oxytocin had really kicked it and it made my contractions totally unbearable, so I asked her to switch it off because I knew that my body could do the rest without any help. We had to walk from the labour room to the delivery room and guys, I stopped halfway (yes, in the passage) because I needed to push! I got a bit dramatic over there (sorry other ladies, within earshot, who still needed to give birth) and the nurse stood behind me ready to catch baby Jo, just in case he fell out. He didn’t fall out, fortunately, and I made it to the delivery room with everything still intact.
Jonah is born!
Once on that delivery table there was no holding back… and I got pretty vocal. Jo was born in a couple of minutes and yep, it hurt like crazy! Compared to my other kids, he was a big baby at 3.9 kg. My Hubstopher cried and laughed at the same time. I was just really glad that it was finally over! The rush of emotions (considering the fact that I had zero pain medication, I can’t even blame the drugs) made me say a lot of crazy things while my doc was taking care of my episiotomy. I remember babbling a bunch of things like “Oh wow, why do women go through this? I blame Eve!” and “Doc, I’m so sorry for being so loud but that was very hectic!” and (while addressing the nursing staff) “Guys, I’m so glad that is over!”Jonah Mark Williams is perfect in every way. He looks like his daddy and has a calm disposition. His big sister loves him already! He latched on immediately, like a pro, and had his first “milk drunk” moment yesterday – super cute! I am totally inlove with him! Thank you to everyone for your sweet messages and prayers. And I am so thankful that God once again showed us exactly how He has His hand on our lives… especially when we are NOT in control.
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Preggy update: Husbands are sometimes right too
Preggy update: I’ve been especially hard on myself the past few days. Why? Well, mainly because I am STILL pregnant and I don’t know how to make it stop! If you recall from my previous posts, my doc would like to induce me later this week because this kid is a giant and I really want to give birth naturally. So, for the past few days, I’ve been trying out old housewives remedy’s and modern mama theory’s to try to get baby Jo to make an appearance. And still nothing. -
How to induce labour at home
Have you ever tried to induce labour at home? Old wives tales and millennial mamas all have countless tips and tricks that supposedly work, but I wonder if they actually do. Of corse, keeping your bun in the oven until he/she decides to make an appearance is ideal. But different circumstances could call for you to help your baby along its way. Well, I’ve been doing my research on home induction and I’m here to share them with you.
To be honest, I never thought I’d be desperate enough to induce labour at home. I’m one of those “everything happens when it’s suppose to happen” kind of girls. But my recent OBGYN visit showed us a very big baby Jo. In fact, the guestimation is that he will be over 4kg at birth, if I carry full term. His mid section is really big and since I’m pushing for natural labour (pun intended), my sweet doc would rather not take the chance to have me carry till my due date. If nothing happens naturally, by next week, she will be inducing labour at the hospital. But we’re keeping our hopes up that Jo will make an appearance before then. In the meantime, here are a few “induction tricks” that I’ve found online. I’m curious to know: Have any of you tried this at home? Please share your stories with me!
Lots of sex
Well this is one that Hubstopher won’t mind at all. I’ve read (and I like that this is a medical fact, not something that Margaret told Greta in 1856) that semen contains prostaglandins. This hormone-like compound ripens and softens the cervix. Apparently three “doses” of this hormone is enough to spur on labour.Nipple stimulation
Another medical fact is that nipple stimulation mimics the suckling of a newborn. This releases oxytocin into your body, which is responsible for uterine contractions during labour. The trick is to stimulate the section behind the areola. You could even do this by using a breast pump.Castor Oil
Look, I’m not here to promote gut-wrenching diarrhea. But I’ve heard that castor oil is a great natural induction tool because it stimulates the uterus to contract. It does this by stimulating the intestines (which in turn stimulates the uterus). I would assume that you need to be mindful of the amount of castor oil that you ingest. (See my reference to gut-wrenching diarrhea).Other foods
There are a list of foods that also supposedly bring on those labour pains. Things like pineapple, spicy foods and dates are on top of the list. The reasoning is that they work in similiar fashion to the castor oil – they cause intestinal stimulation, which in turn stimulates the uterus.Red rasberry leaf tea
This is another one of those old wives tales that people swear by! I’ve read that this tea strengthens the uterus and pelvic wall, when consumed during pregnancy. It is also very stimulating and is said to speed along the birth process as well.Acupuncture and accupresure
There is always the option of trying natural or homeopathic remedys. I’m no expert on the topic but I’ve read that acupuncture helps to get you mentally and physically ready to birth your baby. In fact, there are certain pressure points in your feet that can help to bring on natural labour.Move it move it
Exercises – such as walking, biking or swimming – is said to bring on labour. Of corse, you’re always told to walk walk walk, when you’re in your final stages of pregnancy. This helps baby to get into position and it helps to open up your pelvis for a faster delivery.So that’s my list. But with all of that said, I don’t have room for fear or anxiety in my head. Remaining calm and relaxed is my super, top secret tip on how to induce labour at home. But I must admit, I am curious: Have you tried any of these at home? Which of these work, in your opinion? Please share your thoughts and tips with me, in the comments section!
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Meet the #ECMeetUp 2017 bloggers!
Once upon a time, in a land far away, lived a group of exceptionally creative people who excelled in the art of ‘oversharing with style’. These people were called the #ECMeetUp 2017 bloggers. -
I’m going to Sri Lanka
Dreaming of a trip to a far away land where English is a second language and the smell of spicy food fills the air? Yeah, me too! Our last trip away was in December 2016 and with my growing belly and very active toddler keeping me super busy, my 2017 is definitely lacking a holiday. I’ve been Googling holiday destinations (let’s call it planning in faith) and I’ve decided that the colourful and interesting Sri Lanka is where it’s at! It was voted as the number one tourism destination in 2013/2014 by Lonely Planet and in terms of value for money, you get more experience for your buck! My kind of holiday. -
Bath time with Oh So Heavenly
I’ll admit I’ve been feeling super guilty lately. My toddler is a mere 2 years (and a couple of months) old and soon, she’ll be relinquishing her title as “baby of the house”. Sob! My little pink curly girly will be a big sister curly girly! How could I do that to her?! Okay, okay, I’m calming myself down. I know that it’s probably just the preggy hormones. I’ve been finding different ways to emotionally and mentally prepare the both of us for the new addition to our space. I try to spend a lot of time with her and instigate conversations around baby Jo and what life will be like once he is here. This weekend we did a girls pamper, thanks to Oh So Heavenly, and we had a few random pamper day conversations (I mean, are toddler convos anything BUT random?) and here’s what went down: -
Do you feel like you suck?
“Meh. My life sucks.” A mantra.
Yeah, what a weird way to start a blog post, right? But come on, we’ve all been there. We’ve all had to deal with thoughts of worthlessness or inadequacy sometime in our lives. Me, probably a heck of a lot more than I’d care to admit. But the truth is that I often compare myself – my life and my achievements – with that of someone else’s. And the weird thing is that (DUH) it can’t look the same because we all have our own unique experiences and paths. DUH. And yet we still do this thing and then call ourselves “sucky” when we feel that we fall short.
Can you relate, or nah?
Maybe you’re measuring yourself up against Super Duper Mom who seems to have it all. You know, the mother who regularly goes on beach resort holidays with her family, all while keeping her house spotless, kids disciplined, bills paid and nails perfectly manicured.
Or perhaps you’re trying your best to impress your manager at work but you always fall short of that promotion – your skills and abilities seemingly just not good enough to wow the big guns.
And let’s be honest, who here is convinced that she sucks at being a wife? I mean, I don’t always have the energy to iron my hubstopher’s shirts on demand and my sugar sweet “okay babe” is often tinged with growls of “no, do it yourself!” My well prepped, well balanced meal ideas often replaced with something that is quick and easy because: tired.
I recently went through a crazy season of dealing with feelings of inadequacy. And as I navigated my way through hormone changes and irrational thinking, I realised that we often put unnecessary pressure on ourselves. We set the bar high and then wait for other people to make us feel validated and as if we’re doing a good job.
But the truth is that being a woman – being a super woman (cause that’s what we are, yo) – takes a lot of self-motivation. Who says that someone else’s opinion of you and how you’re doing counts as more valuable than your own opinion of yourself?! Who made up that rule? I need to have a word with that guy… in his face… with a chair… (juuust kidding, say no to violence)
When I realised that I had been dealing with unnecessary thoughts of “not good enough” I literally had to give myself a pep talk. It usually takes a lot to make me feel as if I suck because I am generally, mostly optimistic. I am aware that my thoughts impact my decisions and emotions. And so, if I feel like I suck, it’s purely because I DECIDED to feel that way.Your thoughts of “not good enough” are just that – YOUR THOUGHTS… an opinion that you’ve given life to. It doesn’t make it the truth. It just makes it the truth that you chose to believe. (Spreadsheet brain psychology, at your service). We take on this slave mentality and wonder why we don’t feel as if we’re free. We tell ourselves that we’re not good enough, based on the actions and reactions of others, and then we wonder why we feel as if we’re not good enough.
I know… mind blown.
So today, I encourage you to be free – breathe, stretch, shake, let it go! You are not in control of everything… and that’s okay. You are more than enough, just as you are… and that’s a fact. And no, you don’t suck. I promise.
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Dear friend who is no longer my friend
Dear ‘friend who is no longer my friend’. I know it’s been a while since we last spoke. Even though we’ve exchanged online glances… and real life ones, as we avoid each other in shopping malls, pretending not to see.
How are you? You popped into my head space a few times this past month (thanks a lot Facebook ‘On This Day’). I know that we’ve totally moved on from each other… let’s keep it real, we don’t even have the same interests anymore. But I was wondering if you still remember all those great moments we shared. Those were the best times.
Remember your cousins wedding? We danced so much and cried through all the speeches – the passion and zeal of our youth overtaking us and making every single moment the most important moment of our lives. I also remember when I caught my (then) boyfriend attempting to cheat on me (to me it was world changing… to him, it was just Tuesday). You told me that I was worth more and that if I don’t stop running after him, you’ll beat me up with a stick. I remember the time you got into a car crash with your mom’s car. I don’t regret staying by your side the entire time, as you gave your statement to the police.
What changed? Well, that’s a bit rhetorical – I know what changed. I changed. You changed. And that’s okay. I mean, who wants to be the same person for the rest of your life?! It’s a pretty mundane expectation. I can’t apologise for being a different girl to the one you knew… the one who had no direction in life and partied with you until the sun came up and sat on beach chairs, drinking vodka, until it went down again. That is not who I am anymore.And hey, my transformation had nothing to do with you. In fact, it had everything to do with me and the God of my life. He had a bigger plan and I decided to roll with that. Somehow, in the middle of the whirlwind, as I gave up my old life (and my old habits) for something else, our friendship fell away too. I don’t think it was intentional – for either of us.
I’m sorry if you feel that I neglected our relationship. And I’m sorry if my sudden changes made you feel as if I was saying that your way of doing things is inferior. I’m sorry if I acted as if all our special quirks and memories meant nothing. But I can’t apologise for being who I am today. I hope you understand.
Anyways, I don’t expect this to resurrect an outdated friendship that we’ve both outgrown. It just feels weird to not acknowledge you when we have a deep well of history together. I believe that certain relationships are planted in our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I hope that my season in yours was fruitful and that you look back at all our crazy with fondness and not regret. Because I certainly do.
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Dissecting my role as a stepmom
According to some movies, the stereotypical stepmother is usually someone reminiscent of the ‘Wicked Witch of the West’. Well, I’ve been a stepmom to my stepson for about 3 years now – and in his life for about 8 – and I’d like to think that my witch tendencies are at a minimum. Mind you, it’s not always easy to be a supplementary mom to a kid who already has a very present, hands on mom. In fact, what is my role as a stepmom anyways? Besides for being married to the kids dad, I mean. And how do you avoid overstepping boundaries?
Look, its a no brainer, blended families are more predominant in this day and age, that’s for sure. And with it comes the challenge of making it work, while keeping all parties happy and the development of the child on the forefront. Some of things that I’ve found works for me (well, I hope it’s working!) is:
1. I don’t interfere
This is a hard task to see through, especially when you have a spreadsheet brain and a gazillion other children of your own. But I have found my greatest reward in having Hubstopher allow me and Kyle’s dad to “parent” our son together as much as we can. It is with this same respect that I allow Hubstopher and my stepson’s mom to parent their son together. I’m talking about giving them space to make those hard decisions and discuss the best way forward for the kid. Look, if you’re putting your ego into this, you’re probably not doing it right. As a stepmom I want the best for the kid. And sometimes that means I need to keep my mouth shut.2. I don’t expect anything in return
The thing about being a parent – whether it be step or bio, adopted or in-law – is that it’s a selfless job to take on. I’m not out here waiting for a round of applause after I’ve changed my daughter’s diapers or cooked my son a meal. Why should it be any different for my stepson? And if I want recognition, who best to get it from than the kid himself? I don’t need a pat on the back from family or friends or the parenting community of the world. Your pat on the back can’t buy me food or Steri Stumpies.
3. I don’t compare
If you’re comparing your stepchild to your bio child, and wondering why the one can’t be more like the other, I’ve got news for you: Each child is different, even if they came from the same womb. Kyle is stubbornly independent, whereas Seth can be a bit more clingy. But I attribute that to their personalities and characteristics. Each child is to be celebrated. Creating comparisons, even if just in your head, opens a door for negative thinking. Red alert, stepmom: avoid that stinking thinking bug! Pretty soon a thought turns into a feeling and a feeling into a deep rooted issue and before you know it, you’re the ‘Wicked Witch of the West’. Not a good look.4. I don’t try to be the “cool” parent
As a step parent you often wonder if the kid even likes you. And yes, you could go about doing things to please them and get on their good side. But guess what, I have rules in my home and those rules apply to ALL our children. I don’t need you to like me and I don’t need you to think that I am the coolest parent. Why? Because I want you to grow up to be a really amazing human being, that’s why. If any of our kids think I suck for not allowing them to stay up till 3am to play XBox, oh well. They’ll get over it. (Analyses based on a true story.) There are other people in my life who think I am exceptionally cool. I’ll be okay.5. I don’t assume the role of Mother
I’m not the kids mother. That’s that. I will always do my best to include him in everything but for me to expect him to treat me as if I am the first lady in his life is absolutely ludicrous. I do understand that there are situations where the bio mom is not present, and I totally get the beauty in having a stepmom take over that role. In my situation, this is not the case and that’s okay too! In fact, when Mother’s Day comes around I expect him to honor his OWN mom. Not getting chocolates or flowers or a handwritten card won’t devalue my role, as stepmom, in his life. I wouldn’t mind a nice cup of tea though. In fact, I want a cup of tea right now actually. Someone?With all of this said, allow me to reiterate that I am NOT perfect. I am a work in progress! Our family has its own set of challenges and bumpy roads to overcome. But hey, I’m sure every family does – no matter what ‘family’ looks like to you.
What are your thoughts on the topic, ladies? We’re all learning here. Are you a stepmother? Have you found ways to make your relationship with your stepchild work? Please share them with us!
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Autumn/Winter 2017 jacket trends
As much as I love #dressingthebump and all the stunning maternity styles that I’ve been showcasing, I’m actually looking forward to my post-preggy days when I’ll be able to squeeze into my favorite outfits again. (Operative word being “squeeze”) I think the real score is that baby Jo will be joining us at the end of May, which means that I can start shopping for Autumn and Winter gear now! I spotted some really fab Autumn/Winter 2017 jacket trends on Superbalist – six styles in all – and I have to have one of each! From puffers to bombers, super svelte parkas and military styled coats to over-sized biker jackets and elegant faux furs, there is something for everyone. Yep, even you Margaret. Check out these style ideas and you could win a Superbalist voucher to get that jacket that you’ve had your eye on!
