• Getting my groove back after having a baby

    after having a babyThe female body is a wonderful thing. It has been designed with the remarkable ability to accommodate and grow a whole other person. Once the job is complete, the body knows exactly when to eject the tiny human being (albeit with some effort) and then, after birth, bounces back to it’s former glory (I use the word “former” loosely). Though there may be some notable changes to it, post-birth, your body can largely do everything that it could do before the making of said baby. And yet, after having a baby, you somehow still feel ‘changed’. Even if you look the same as you did before.

  • being a mother sucks

    Why being a mother sucks sometimes

    Being a mother sucks. What? You don’t agree? Wait, maybe I wasn’t being clear: You know all the amazing parts of being someones mom? Stuff like hearing them call you “mama” for the first time and being able to snuggle up next to them as you read Good night, Mouse for the umpteenth time? Well, those things seem extremely over-rated when you’re exhausted after having to change your bedding (thanks to a massive squirt of newborn poop) and then have to referee an argument between a 2-year old and a 15-year old about who gets to sit on the “big couch”. Oh, hi there, excuse me where are my manners. My name is Luchae Williams and I am the proud owner mother of one newborn, one toddler, step-mom to one primary schooler and mom to one extremely opinionated highschooler. Mental status: Currently losing my mind.

    I know, I know, I can hear what you’re thinking. And allow me to reiterate: I DO love my children and I am aware that there are hundreds of women who would give actual limbs to be in my position. But hey, sometimes being mom means keeping it real. And the reality is that my kids drive me crazy! Like “Gone Girl” crazy. Like shaving my hair off ala Britney Spears crazy.

    Do your kids make you want to go to the toilet to just sit there, and enjoy the silence? Welcome, friend! Do you often find yourself thinking “oh, just go away!” with a smile on your face, while listening to another boring story about soccer? I see you, girlfriend! Have you ever dreamt about your life pre-children, with stars in your eyes and longing in your heart? I feel your pain, Jane! Does feeling this way make us bad people? Uhhh, nope. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes. Being a parent is not easy and if you think about it, no one asked us to be superhuman. Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves?

    You know the saying about kids being your heart on the outside of your body? Well that’s the truest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. And I’m old… so I’ve heard a lot of things in my life. The thing is, children trick you. They make you believe that you’re going to fall pregnant, or find that perfect adoption agency, or marry that guy, and suddenly be Super Parent… in a land filled with domesticated sunshine and roses and finger painting parties in the backyard. You chat about a future that holds sleepless nights, more expenses and less time for yourself and you actually think that you’re READY for it. But truth be told, you’re never really ready.

    And once that kid is there, in your world, in living color. Oh boy! There is no. turning. back. You are in it for life! Nothing else will be more important ever again. You find yourself semi-moaning (okay in this case alot-of-moaning) about how your kids tire you out and steal your time but the truth is, you don’t want and can’t see a life without them. And no amount of sleep or glitzy career moves or toned abdominal muscles will EVER come close to the way you feel when they call you mama for the first time or when you’re snuggled up reading Good night, Mouse for the umpteenth time.

    You become vulnerable… all your mushy parts exposed… living life with your heart on the outside of your body, in tiny human form. And if you’re a spreadsheet brain like I am, you’ll probably think that being a mom sucks too because it feels SO good to belong to them… to be so weak and yet so strong. It’s beautiful and scary and empowering and so very humbling all at the same time.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s worth it.

  • Our newborn photo shoot with Cutepix Photography

    newborn photo shootRemember how much I bragged about Michelle over at Cutepix Photography? Well, the proof is in the pudding and this post right here is the pudding, ladies and gentleman. Well, MY pudding, to be exact… look at that face! I was so chuffed to be able to plan Jonah’s newborn photo shoot with Michelle. After seeing the amazing way she orchestrated Kari’s first birthday cake smash shoot, I knew that I would be pleased with Jo’s pics! I saw this shoot as a way to capture the beauty of our Jonah, fresh out of the oven. But it was also a way to celebrate his life and all the promise that we see over it! I’d like to celebrate with you too! I will be giving away a very special gift at the end of this post. But first… more pics!

  • Recovery after birth: how to stay sane

    Recovery after birthWhether you’re a first time mom or a ‘last time mom’, like me, the first few weeks after giving birth are usually very challenging. I know what you’re thinking: “What?! Is it not enough that I carried this kid around for nine months and then went through a very physical labour that resulted in me exposing more of my mind, body and soul than I care to?!” Okay, calm down, Patricia. Yes, post-birth can be just as challenging as the actual labour was. But it doesn’t have to be. I’ve found a few simple things that has really helped to make my recovery after birth more comfortable.

  • Newborn photography tips

    newborn photography tipsSwoon! I don’t know about the rest of you but I’m convinced that mine is the most beautiful baby in the whole wide world! There’s just something about a fresh baby that melts the heart. Small hands, small toes, inability to backchat (moms of teens, hollar!) The freshness, innocence and purity of a newborn baby is the stuff that broody feelings are made of. We decided to document Jonahs “freshness” but I knew that I had to call in the big guns. I mean, a newborn photo shoot is not exactly something one attempts at home with a cellphone camera. Enter: Michelle of Cutepix Baby and Child Photography! She shared some excellent newborn photography tips and helped to set my mind at ease as I prepped for Jonah’s very first photo shoot.

  • why a mother would leave her newborn in a drain

    Inducing labour: My birth story

    As far as these things go, I’ve always considered myself pretty expert at giving birth. My first two deliveries were quick and easy and yes, there was pain, but I could handle it to the point that I laughed through most of the contractions. Literally, laughed. But the birth of my son, last Thursday was way different. I think that inducing labour played a big role in that. But hey, let’s start at the beginning:

    The beginning
    My doc knew that I was super keen to give natural birth. I was convinced that Jonah would practically walk out of my womb, so to speak. But my last gynae visit showed us a very big Jonah and he didn’t seem too eager to make an appearance anytime soon. Given the fact that I was a few days away from my due date, my doc suggested that we induce labour. I mean, the kid was growing each day! There was also the concern about him being too big for my pelvis and all the other medical mumbo jumbo that made sense. I asked doc for a week to try to get things going myself. If nothing happened, we would be back the following Wednesday.

    Inducing labour at home
    And so the semi freak out began – I was determined to get labour started naturally! I even blogged about it over here, if you recall. Some of my concerns about a chemical induction was just that: It would be CHEMICAL. When you give birth naturally, your body releases certain hormones that makes it easier to do what it needs to do. It also helps you to handle the pain of childbirth. A chemical induction overrides all of this and is therefore more painful. Also, it could speed up the labour process which is not always a good thing, thus resulting in a C-Sec. And hey, there is nothing wrong with giving birth via Cesarean, but it was not what I wanted for me and my baby. Anyways, so I tried to induce labour at home but nothing seemed to be working! Finally, my Hubstopher grabbed me by the hands and gave me a good ol’ pep talk – “everything will be fine!” I decided to enjoy my last few days of pregnancy, because you know what, life is too short to do squats with a nearly 4kg baby boy lodged in your belly!

    Induction day
    Finally Wednesday arrived – the day of the hospital induction. We packed bags and kissed our kids goodbye (which is another blog post for another day). I prayed and remembered all the things that I had learnt from the book that I had been reading – Supernatural Childbirth by Jackie Mize. The book speaks about how God has designed our female bodies to form human life and give birth, naturally and successfully! I believed all of those promises for this birth. Once at the hospital, the nurse checked and saw that I was 1cm dilated. They decided to give it a night to monitor me and see if things will progress naturally. I watched TV, read alot, ate Macdonalds (no judgies) and a couple of hours later I had nothing to report. Nothing happened. Absolutely nothing. I woke up the following morning feeling like a loser. Jonah was meant to be here already!

    Don’t go chasing waterfalls
    The doc decided to induce me at 9am that Thursday morning by way of Pitocin – a synthetic form of the hormone Oxytocin. In a nutshell, Oxy is your friend… it’s the hormone that makes your uterus contract and spurs on labour. Pito is the chemical version of this wonder hormone – it stimulates the uterus. It’s usually given to moms by way of vagina, orally or via an IV. Sometimes, it’s administered all three ways, in various stages of labour. My doc chose the former option and said that she might not even give it to me orally because she thinks it would be enough to get labour going. And she was right. I spent most of the day on the bouncy ball, to get baby moving in the right direction. My doctor came to see me at 12ish and at this point my contractions were mild. She then ruptured my membranes (aka “waters breaking”) and I am pleased to say that I finally had my TV moment. My waters came out in a gush instead of the trickle-trickle I had experienced with my previous two pregnancies. I laughed, and continued to laugh each time I had a contraction because the gushing did. not. stop. I’m talking “somebody left the tap open!” gushing waters. It was a good sign, apparently.

    Ish gets real
    At 4pm the doc decided to administer Oxytocin via IV. This is meant to encourage the uterus to contract and let me tell you, the minute the hormone hit my blood stream, the contractions were super duper intense. I remembered everything that I had read in Supernatural Childbirth though. Every contraction is literally the muscles in my tummy doing it’s job to get my baby boy out. So that’s what I focused on, and I did it rather well, to the point where I heard my nurse tell the doc that I am “comfortable” and won’t be giving birth anytime soon. I had to call her and let her know that I am definitely NOT comfortable and I WILL be giving birth soon and she needs to check me to see for herself! She did and yup I was nearly fully dilated. She was totally shocked at my lack of dramatic screaming but I had peace and knew how to channel my energy into focusing on each contraction and not on the pain.

    I need to push!
    At 6pm I told her that I need to push, she told me it would probably take me another hour and half to reach that point. But the Oxytocin had really kicked it and it made my contractions totally unbearable, so I asked her to switch it off because I knew that my body could do the rest without any help. We had to walk from the labour room to the delivery room and guys, I stopped halfway (yes, in the passage) because I needed to push! I got a bit dramatic over there (sorry other ladies, within earshot, who still needed to give birth) and the nurse stood behind me ready to catch baby Jo, just in case he fell out. He didn’t fall out, fortunately, and I made it to the delivery room with everything still intact.

    Inducing labourJonah is born!
    Once on that delivery table there was no holding back… and I got pretty vocal. Jo was born in a couple of minutes and yep, it hurt like crazy! Compared to my other kids, he was a big baby at 3.9 kg. My Hubstopher cried and laughed at the same time. I was just really glad that it was finally over! The rush of emotions (considering the fact that I had zero pain medication, I can’t even blame the drugs) made me say a lot of crazy things while my doc was taking care of my episiotomy. I remember babbling a bunch of things like “Oh wow, why do women go through this? I blame Eve!” and “Doc, I’m so sorry for being so loud but that was very hectic!” and (while addressing the nursing staff) “Guys, I’m so glad that is over!”

    Jonah Mark Williams is perfect in every way. He looks like his daddy and has a calm disposition. His big sister loves him already! He latched on immediately, like a pro, and had his first “milk drunk” moment yesterday – super cute! I am totally inlove with him! Thank you to everyone for your sweet messages and prayers. And I am so thankful that God once again showed us exactly how He has His hand on our lives… especially when we are NOT in control.

  • Hello baby! – A birth story

    Today we celebrate one of the most special days in my life: The day I became the mommy to a beautiful little girl! It’s been a trip, you guys. I read a beautiful saying the other day: “When a baby is born, a mother is born.”
    And that’s exactly how I feel! I mean, even though I had been a mom for a good 12 years when I found out I was pregnant with Kari… it just felt different somehow. Plus now I have someone else’s hair to brush in the morning. Hey, I’m not complaining, it’s a perk! Anyways, I can go on and on and on but let me pull myself towards myself and start at the beginning!

    D Day – 29 November 2014
    Exactly a year ago today, we woke up really early (5:30 yo!) because my gynae had advised me to  get my pregnant butt to the labor room since I had been ‘in labor’ for a couple of hours by then. Keeping in mind I was still in no real pain or anything. But you can read all about that in this post.

    Hubstopher and I woke up super early, got ready and took a slow drive to the hospital… watching as the city woke up around us. We were so excited, but in such a calm way! It was a serene drive and we barely spoke, as we listened to some music on the car radio. I cant even remember which songs we were listening to, but I do remember being extremely emotional… I mean, could I have been more dramatic than this? No, no I could not. But it was so fitting… I was about to give birth to one of the most dramatic little girls that I know!

    We walked into the labor room at about 6:20am, to be greeted by extremely friendly and chipper nurses who advised us that all the labor rooms are full. But seeing my totally calm disposition, they asked us to have a seat at the nurses station in the meantime, while they prepare a room for me. We spent the next while chatting to the nurses and generally have a good ol time socializing and was eventually placed in a room where I watched Generations (for the first time in my life) and took a nap.

    When I woke up, I decided to give the big bouncy birthing ball a spin. Hubstopher enjoyed my antics and took video clips and photos. I was like, I’m going to bounce on this thing until my baby comes out because I cant wait anymore! Also, I was not about to be in labour for copious amounts of hours! Nope, we will bounce until this princess makes an appearance! At about 9am a nice nurse came and did the dreaded finger test on me. (Hated those.) She advised that she would need to help my water to break a bit more.

    At 11am we were moved to the labour room (which is not the same as the delivery room, where the actual birth takes place) and Hubstopher turned the lights low and played some soothing worship music. He kept doing little happy dances… guys, it honestly felt like it was Christmas!

    Here comes the pain
    I took a walk up and down the hospital stairs, to get some baby moving action going. And by that time I started feeling intense contractions mixed with…oh what is that I feel down below… PAIN!

    It hurt real bad (like the Danny K song) but it was manageable. I had long before decided that I would not lay on my back, like in the medieval times, and allow my contractions to get the better of me. No ways Margaret! I handled my contractions by standing next to my hospital bed, with my arms and head resting on the bed. So my belly was “hanging”, basically. With each contraction I breathed in and out deeply. I believe this really helped since the gravity of standing helped my baby to get into position quicker and there was less pressure on my back (which normally happens when you are laying down). All of this was coupled with clever quips from the husband and even more quirkier comebacks from me. I remember laughing a lot and giving him running commentary of each feeling that I was experiencing.

    But look, I am no super woman! Eventually, I had to get my sexy laboring butt onto that hospital bed! Hubstopher tried to sweet talk me and gave me little rubs and kisses and kind words but I reached a point where I was like, “babe, Im sorry to be rude, but can you not touch me anymore please?!” Hahahaha Hey, atleast I was polite!

    By 1pm, I was like, “nurse, something is happening! I think I need to push!” I don’t think they were quite ready for that because she had to quickly go and call the doctor. When he got there, it was like… 1 push…2 push… 3 push… Baby! Ta daaahhhh!

    Hello baby!
    I remember looking at her and thinking… omw, I just gave birth and now I have a baby! I also remember thinking, “Praise the LORD, that is over! Woohoo! No more being in labor!” I couldn’t stop staring at her as she wailed those first few cries, and I said “hello! hello baby!” Hubstopher was quite emotional, and when he held her for the first time he immediately spoke a blessing over her. We laughed, we cried, we were swooning! “Look at her hair!” and  “Listen to her cry!” and “Who does she look like?” Besotted.

    The nurse placed her against my skin and she immediately began looking for boob. Eventually, I got up to have a shower and change, as my mom dressed our curly girly in clothing for the very first time. She looked like a china doll!

    Being Karis’ mom has been the craziest ride of my life! A crazy, fantastic, giddy ride of pure joy! This girl is as sassy as they come and I love watching her personality develop and am so excited about her future! Happy Birthday my curly girly!

    Curly Girly

    Clip note: Interested to hear more about my preggy journey, with Kari? Travel down memory lane with me, as I reminisce about when I found out I was pregnant, my pregnancy, my ultrasound drama, all the baby showers and all the other little things in between. 

  • I found out I was pregnant

    And then I found out I was pregnant

    I fell pregnant with Karis like, two months into our marriage. It was a beautiful, scary surprise… one we were not prepared for! Yep, it was all totally unplanned, but such an exciting thought. Plus, more children to make me tea… I was winning already. And now, as we prepare to celebrate her birthday, I can’t help but remember the day that I found out I was pregnant. It’s one of my favorite memories!

    Planning to plan
    We knew we wanted to have babies – since Hubstopher has one and I have one. Having a kid of our own just made sense. But my spreadsheet brain planned (hahaha because I think that I can plan these things) that I would only fall pregnant once we were married for a year or so. We had just moved into our new place and I was still busy unpacking and preparing the boys rooms and all of that. I had wanted to get some new curtains and carpets and had so many diy decor stuff I wanted to try out. I wanted to set up our kitchen so that I could be a culinary expert for my family, cooking them gourmet Jamie Oliver stuff. (All gone in the wind. Try doing that when you’re puking your lungs out because you cant stand the smell of lettuce).

    So, taking my spreadsheet brain into consideration, I would like to think that I was always very diligent with those tiny, annoying contraceptive pills (which took some getting use to). I mean, im my mind, I could just like, you know, decide to not fall pregnant and that would be it. (Because it worked so well the first time around, right? Well done, Luchae.) Anyways, I had started taking the pills about a month before the wedding, but they gave me leg cramps and a bunch of other nasty side effects. The nurse at the mediclinic advised me to stop taking them immediately, because the cramps were a symptom of blood clotting! She told me to wait for a month and then she would put me on something else. Easy peasy. I mean, how much trouble could we get ourselves into, in a span of 4 weeks? I remember hanging up the washing a few days after that, and I put my hand on my belly and said “God, if you want me to be pregnant, then bugger my plans… I’ll be okay with that! Have Your way.”

    I just knew
    Soon after that I started feeling queasy and drained. (Who lied and said that you only feel tired when you’re a few months pregnant?! Shoot that busy.) Look, if you’ve been pregnant before, and you know what morning sickness nausea feels like, then you KNOW the difference between “oh I just ate something and now I feel queasy” vs “Oh my hat! My stomach is doing cartwheels, while breakdancing, on it’s head. I’m pregnant!” I mean, I had to reprimand myself for being too dramatic, but I just KNEW that I am ‘with child’. The fact that I could be pregnant seemed far fetched and I was elated and excited but also so concerned about what people would think. I mean, we’ve only been married for a couple of seconds. What is WRONG with us?!

    International women's dayAnyways, keep in mind that all of these thoughts occured before I even did a test. Bwahaha. So I did a couple of home pregnancy tests, and it came out negative. (Yeah, I said “a couple”) The last one I did (at work nogals) had a faint second line. So I promptly sent my bestie a message saying “what does this mean?” (She had found out she was pregnant two weeks earlier and had sent me the same message.)

    The best moment
    The next day, my family doctor did a pee stick test as well and said “sorry, its a negative”. But he sent us for a blood test anyways, which we did the following day, en route to a wedding. Since we had to sing at the wedding, the blood place person (sorry, what are they called now again), was a friend of a friend, so she promised to send me a text once she had the results.

    So picture us, sitting at a wedding ceremony, getting ready to go up to sing, and I get this sms:“Congratulations, you’re going to be a mom again!” 

    Woohoo!!! Of corse my darling husband wanted to burst out in tears! The wedding ceremony was underway, so we couldn’t even scream or shout or hug each other and then 10 minutes later, we were called to the stage to sing… talk about an Oprah moment! It was very dramatic for us.

    Post wedding, we called our families immediately. Whaaat? I know that you’re suppose to wait until you’re atleast three months along, but we were just so excited! The boys were told together. They were excited. And apprehensive. Both had already received a newly acquired sibling (from their other parents), so they reckoned they were experts already. And then lo and behold my doctor calls, saying he’s been trying to get hold of me since Friday. It turns out the pee stick test turned positive after we had left the surgery! Haha. Talk about a movie ending.

    And our Karicurls is the star! Man it has been such a journey ever since! Our little darling has brought so much joy and I wouldn’t trade any part of it for anything! Having this baby just restored so much in our lives. God’s plan is the best plan.

    Thank you for journeying with me today. Karis celebrates another birthday tomorrow – she is a tad bit more excited than I am.

  • Do amber teething necklaces work with voodoo?

    amber teething necklaceI often find myself in mommy chat circles, debating whether or not the amber teething necklace actually works. Some moms claim that if you see results, it’s probably the placebo effect (i.e. your mind is playing tricks on you, crazy lady). Others swear by the amber beads and claim that it has done wonders for their teething toddlers. My hubstopher, on the other hand believes that it’s voodoo and that we should keep it as far away from our children as possible. My spreadsheet brain and I had to get to the bottom of this madness!

    So, I did what any sane ‘spreadsheet brained’ person would do. I Googled, of corse! Some websites (usually the ones who are promoting the beads) say that amber is reputed to boost the immune system and assists with reducing inflammation and accelerating the healing of wounds, because it contains and releases succinic acid. Apparently it’s been used as a soother for teething babes for many years now. As per Wikipedia, amber has been used for its healing properties since the time of Hippocrates in Ancient Greece through the Middle Ages and up until the early twentieth century. Interesting.

    The packaging of my string of amber beads says that amber is not actually a stone, it is fossilized tree resin from forests that were flooded by the sea millions of years ago.The packaging also says “we believe that the power to soothe pain attributed to amber lies in the fact that it creates an electromagnetic field which enhances the human frame of mind.” Hmmm… sounds a bit voodoo-esque, right?

    Opposing websites, such as Science or Not, de-myths the amber beads story. The website goes into detail, breaking down the components that make up amber. In their explanation, researchers explain that your baby would need to be exposed to quite a large amount of succinic acid, over a long period of time, in order for it to take effect. In a nutshell, many doctors and scientists say that the idea behind a string of amber beads reducing teething symptoms is ridiculous and a chocking risk (even though the string is really short and the beads supposedly break easily – to avoid strangulation).

    Surprisingly enough a lot of moms swear that amber beads gave their baby a bit of relief during the terrible teething woes. I was willing to try it (while monitoring my baby closely), to see if it worked.

    I tested the beads to see if they would assist with relief from
    – Constant drooling
    – Rash on my babies face
    – Pain and uncomfortable behavior

    The result, after using it for 1 week
    – The drooling seemed to ease up to the point where she did not have to wear a bib anymore. This was a big deal for me, since she had been drooling lots and I’ve constantly had to change her tops and bibs, to keep her dry. (Also, hello, bibs can totally like, ruin an outfit, darling!)

    – The rash is still there and comes and goes. Not a fan. I honestly thought the rash was due to the drooling. Hmm, it seems I don’t know it all – but shh don’t tell my hubstopher.

    – She still has moments of discomfort, which is the norm. I cant tell if the levels of teething pains have decreased though. Unless I’m about to break out in baby babble, which I’ve graduated from, many years ago.

    In conclusion
    Although 1 of the 3 symptoms eased up, I’m not about to put my name on an official document stating that the stuff actually works, yo. But yes, the drooling stopped soon after using the beads. And no, I did not detect any signs of voodoo whatsoever.

    However, I must caution you to remove the beads from your sleeping baby and to monitor baby during “awake” times too. I don’t know, but having something around my babys neck gives me the jitters! And as one website asked: Is the (supposed) benefit of wearing these beads greater than the risk? That, Mommy, is a decision you will have to make for yourself.