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the punishment of pregnancy
I sometimes feel the punishment of pregnancy. It’s there… the unspoken, acceptable norms, that make life as a female a little bit more difficult than before. There are just so many challenges to overcome – legalities that shouldn’t be an issue – when you are expectant. Moms, did you also feel this way when you were pregnant? I did not realize how much it affected me until I visited my OBGYN yesterday. She took one look at me and exclaimed “wow, let’s see how many are in there!” Gasp, twins?! (insert instant freak out here) I’m sure we could handle two babies at the same time… right?! I mean, we already have three children, for crying out loud. What’s two more? -
Dressing the bump: Love My Body Creations
March is my birth month and this year I get to celebrate it with a huge baby bump en tow! Because of this, I am claiming this month as the month of #dressingthebump! Yep, I want to show you guys just how easy it is to be pregnant AND fabulous at the same time! I love that there are a whole bunch of really amazing, Proudly South African, maternity and shapely body wear brands that encourage you to love your body shape. Today we have a look at a stunning range over at Love My Body Creations. Stacey, the owner, is a darling and her clothes are stunning! But hey, enough talk, check out the pics: -
Baby shower gift ideas: what mamas really want
Planning a baby shower? Attending one soon? Of course you are. People are popping out kiddos like it’s nobody’s business (myself included). After sharing pics of a fab baby shower that I attended the other day (photos below) a few moms started chatting about baby shower gift ideas. Apparently, there are a bunch of gift ideas that made these moms swoon, while others make them cringe. (Don’t look at me, I like presents, period. Like, put a bow on it, and I’m ecstatic). Moms, are there certain baby shower gifts that you value more than others? Well, I started chatting to preggy moms about their baby shower experiences, and this is what they had to share:
Yes please: Wet wipes and nappies
One mom said that she loved finding wet wipes, nappy disposal packets and diapers wrapped in the pretty “Its a girl” gift paper, at her shower. “It’s just one more thing to save money on!” she shared.No thank you: Baby shoes
My friend said that the teeny tiny baby shoes she was gifted at her shower ended up on display. Shoes for little feet are adorable, but impractical, I guess. I don’t think my curly girl wore shoes for the first few months of her life. I mean, it’s not as if she had to walk anywhere, anyways.
Yes please: Breastfeeding gear
A few moms shared that a beautiful breastfeeding pillow, breast pads and high quality nipple ointment (Lansinoh made top of the list) came in super handy after baby was born. Someone also said that breast milk storage pods were among her favorite gifts and that “clothes can be outgrown but breastfeeding gear lives forever!” (Tad bit dramatic there, but I get it).No thank you: Baby oils and powders
As far as toiletries are concerned, I know that they are GOLD when you have a newborn baby. But some moms claim that they stayed away from baby oils and baby powders well into their babes first year. “Baby powder can get into their little nostrils,” one mom explained. Another shared that she never understood the need for baby oils.
Yes please: Vests
I feel like this is a no-brainer. A lot of moms said that they appreciated neutral colored, cotton, snap-crotch vests. For those who are not in the know, snap-crotch or body vests have those little snappers at the bottom of the vests, which prevents it from riding up into baby’s back. These vests are LIFE.No thank you: Bottles and dummies
Deciding on a bottle or dummy brand, for your kid, is a really big deal to most moms. It’s best to know the name of the bottle/baby feeding brand that mom would like to use for baby, before buying any. “I ended up giving some away to charity,” a mom shared.
Yes please: Big ticket items
Things like sleep-positioners, bath seats, play mats, crib bedding and good quality baby bags came up when I asked about ‘big ticket items’. “These are things we would eventually have to purchase ourselves, so it helps if we are gifted with it,” someone explained.No thank you: Crocheted items
A few moms giggled when the crocheted/knitted items topic came up. I, for one, love that someone took their time to knit a little jersey, with my baby in mind. But some moms claim that these wooly items can be too harsh for babys sensitive skin. “Sometimes the fit is horrible! No. Just no.” another shared.
Yes please: Gift cards
Again, how do you saw “awww” to a gift card or voucher? I do understand the practicality of it though – especially if you’ll be formula feeding your baby. That gift card can go a long way towards paying for that tin of expensive milk.With that said, all of the moms who participated in the survey shared that at the end of the day, the thought that they were loved and cared for, mattered more to them than the gifts did!
So there you have it. I’d love to know what your thoughts are.
What was your favorite baby shower gift? Do you have a default “go to” gift, when you’re purchasing one for a baby shower?
Clip Note: The stunning blue and gold baby shower decor featured in today’s post was the brain and heart child of the amazing Letitia Deyzel!
Header created by Valeria Aksakova
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It’s all in the name: quirky and popular baby names
In the deep recesses of my spreadsheet brain, I secretly want to have hundreds of children, just so that I can name them. I like naming things. And yes, I do realize that admitting this makes me seem slightly weird. Love me for me. Anyways, where am I going with this? Well, deciding on a name for our newbie was a no brainer because Hubstopher kinda named him way before he even proposed to me. But, when I found out I was pregnant, I still thought to look up other possible names (because spreadsheet brain and all). Some of the suggestions I received were slightly more ‘off beat’ than I would dare take on. But hey, don’t take my word for it, check out these… uhhh interesting… and popular baby names:
Colors
So I was assured that if you’re “with it”, naming your kid after a hue of the rainbow is probably the most hippest thing you could do. Names like Indigo, Crimson and Gray were quite trendy yesteryear. Let’s not forget Blue Ivy – the offspring of power couple, JayZ and Beyonce. Those are all really pretty, in my opinion. But once you start going, “Oh hey, meet my son, Orange,” or “this is my daughter, Khaki,” please know that I WILL be giving you a side eye.Fruit
Look, the lovely Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter, Apple, is a real cutie patootie. And I could totally fall inlove with the name Berry or even Peaches. But you’re pushing it when you decide to name your offspring something crazy like Pomegranate or Grape. “Banana, can you please let go of your brothers hair?!” Just doesn’t work, does it?
Character
So a big trend was to name your kiddo after a strength or character that you admired. Names like Loyal, Verity, Patience and Honesti were the most popular. Hmmm. I met someone named Integrity once. She wasn’t very reliable. *ba-dum-dish*Planets
Another trend was to name your baby after a planet or object of the solar system. Names like Moon, Mars and Jupiter grew in popularity. The name, Starr, is also very pretty. But you might be pushing it when you’re swaying more towards names like Meteor and Milky Way. (And yes, people have totally contemplated using these as first names)The older the better
So older names are making a comeback big time. People have been digging through the archives to pull out names like Mildred, Barnabas, Berta, Mabel and Ebenezer. It’s an acquired taste, in my opinion.Keeping it Bible
I’m sure you’ve noticed that going Old Testament is the new “in thing”, when deciding on a baby name. (Me, I’m guilty of this). The most popular were Caleb, James, Samuel and Isaac.Which off these quirky names are your fave?
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When you’re dating a single mom…
I was a single mom for a good chunk of my adult life. If you recall, I gave birth to my boy when I was about 19 years old. His dad and I split up soon thereafter. Being a single mom has it’s highs and lows. But I found that one of the biggest challenges was dating. Yep, dating a single mom: it’s complicated!
For starters, there’s a whole other life to think about, which is sometimes hard for guys to understand. Single mom does not mean “single heart”. In fact, there should be an unspoken rule of the universe: Never break a single mom’s heart!
As a single mom, you have so much to consider – a deeper sense of responsibility and demand. There is simply no time to play relationship games or nurse a broken heart. You are everything to your child! And, as a functioning parent, planning what’s for supper, how to make a human skeleton out of toothpicks and making sure that there are clean shirts for school, seriously takes priority over ‘crying yourself to sleep because he broke up with you AGAIN’.
With that said, gentlemen, when you play mind games with a single mother you are messing with more than just one heart. If you’ve been fortunate enough to be around her kid/s, you kind of have a responsibility to not treat their mom like an old shoe. I’m not saying force yourself to make it work – but heyo, be a gentleman. Having manners is for free. Bow out respectfully and hey, better yet, if you’re not in it to win it, then don’t tap in at all. Do you know what sucks worse than a broken heart? Having to tell your kid why Uncle So-and-So didn’t greet him at the shopping mall today. Kids don’t get it. And they most certainly don’t deserve it.
And if she doesn’t allow just anyone around her kid, that’s okay too! You know the kid is there. They exist. They aren’t going anywhere. Don’t make senseless, selfish demands, as if she has all the time in the world to spend with you. You are not her everything. Maybe you can claim a top spot on her list of priorities one day when you put a ring on it . But until then, recognize that this amazing super woman has a lot more than you on her mind. Encourage her, support her and applaud her.
And anyways, breaking up is harder when you’re a single parent. You don’t have the freedom to take your mood out on those around you – because chances are “those around you” are your kids. You don’t get to lie in bed for days on end, refusing to function because the hurt is unbearable. And you don’t have the space to allow ‘drama’ into your world. Your child’s stability comes first. Your baby’s mental and emotional well being is more important.
What worked for me? Well, I met an amazing man who was interested in being my friend FIRST, which made room for us (my son and I) to befriend him as a family. This guy took the time to get to know us, as a unit and individually, and he genuinely cared. No strings attached! No promises! No demands! I ended up marrying him.
So maybe you’re a single mom and you don’t want to sound like a desperate, needy “I’m not dating unless it’s serious” kind of girl. But hey, guess what, treating your heart (and your children’s lives) with the highest respect, IS serious business. You are a package – a bonus deal, if you will. It’s a beautiful thing! Treat it as such and you will unconsciously give others permission to do that too.
Disclaimer: I’m not saying that single mom’s hearts deserve more looking after than that of other women’s. We should all be treated with dignity and respect. But this one is for the babymamas.
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Books that help you parent like a boss!
If you have kids, I’m sure you’ll agree that a large chunk of your life goes into being a parent. It’s a serious job (no one tells you about the fine print) and we are a bit hard on ourselves sometimes. I don’t know about you, but I never feel like I’m doing it right! But parents, we need to cut ourselves some slack! For starters, if you love your kids and want the best for them, you’re already doing a great job. *pats self on back* Secondly, there are so many amazing resources available to empower and guide you. I’ve been getting into some books that help you parent like a boss… you know, efficiently, effectively and with wisdom! And I want to give some of them to you! But first, more on these books: -
Tricks for curly chicks: DIY twist out curls
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I love curls! And I love that my one and only daughter has a mop full of locks that puts my “sleek” hair to shame. In my previous ‘tricks for curly chicks‘ posts, I spoke about various ways to maintain that curl. But this time around, I want to show you guys how to do super easy twist out curls, using my current, favorite curly girl product: Aunt Jackie’s. Let’s just say Aunt Jackie’s is to curly chicks what GHD is to straight haired chicks: The bomb dot com!
(BTW this is not a sponsored post, I just really love the stuff!) Even with my limited knowledge of curly hair, I knew that I didn’t want my kid to end up looking like the electrocuted version of Tina Turner. Fortunately, my very own curly hair guru, JustEllaBella, saw my pain and introduced me to this wonder product. Auntie Jackie’s makes hair care for little girls so easy! It is sulfate-free, paraben-free and has no mineral oil or petrolatum additives. I mean, you could drink the stuff. Well, not really. Please don’t drink it. But it IS super loving towards your hair.
I started off by giving her mane a good wash using Aunt Jackie’s Girls ‘Heads Up’ moisturising and softening shampoo. It makes a good amount of foam and smells delish. Oh and most importantly: It doesn’t strip hair of its natural oils yet still gives it a thorough cleanse. Rinse and repeat, and we were good to go!
Next, I applied a few dollops of the amazing Aunt Jackie’s ‘Baby Girl Curls’ curling and twisting custard. The thick, creamy formula is enriched with coconut oil, shea butter and extra virgin olive oil. It’s designed to combat that frizz and help give your curls definition. Totally legit! I applied and combed it through her hair.
The next step takes a bit of patience (from her side and mine). I popped on some Mickey Mouse (on the TV, not on her hair) and started twisting out strands of her hair. Depending on how full you want the hair to be, you could make the twists thicker or thinner.Once that’s done (it really doesn’t take that long), I simply dry her hair on low heat. As you can see (above) my girl was not keen that I was messing with her Mickey Mouse time. But she soon got over it when she took a glimpse in the mirror! She loves her twist outs! They eventually “untwist”, but that’s okay, because the curl has been formed and the product helps to keep it defined.
So, friends, what do you think? Would you give my Aunt Jackie (she’s not really my aunt… or a real person) a try? What is your curly hair regime?Clip note: Moms, I get mine at Clicks! They usually have sweeet 3 for 2 deals, every now and then. So that’s a great time to stock up! The range has a variety of different products, like hair oil and conditioners. But I’ll chat more about those later on.
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10 budget-friendly, kid-friendly, life-friendly Valentine’s Day ideas
If you have a lot of kids and limited budgets (like we do) celebrating Valentine’s Day becomes something you watch other people do. Not that we’re sitting over here, moping around about not being able to spend copious amounts of money on gifts, suppers and flowers. But I do love that there’s a day to celebrate LOVE and all the mushy that comes with it. Surely there are ways to make your special one feel, well, special, without serenading them from a helicopter? Well, there are! Here are 10 budget-friendly, kid-friendly, life-friendly Valentine’s Day ideas to remind your partner that they are loved on Feb 14th (and any other day too!)
Lunchbox love
If your person takes a lunchbox to work, you could surprise them by getting up super early and making their favorite lunch. (I’m not saying go gourmet chef on them, but put a little thought into it.) Top it off with a love note and pop it into their bag without them knowing what you’ve just done, you super sleuthy love muffin you! You’re sure to get heart eyed emoticons sent to your Whatsapp later!
Love in a cup
Hubstopher’s favorite Valentine’s gift from me is a really cute mug I found (on special, at some grocery store somewhere). It says “Good morning handsome”. I think he quite likes being called handsome. That, and it’s a really LARGE mug, which does well for his coffee-holicism. Why not get your special someone a novelty mug (there are really inexpensive ones at your local grocers) and fill it with choccies (Smarties or Whispers would make me go aaack!), wrap it up with some cellophane and Bob’s your uncle.Romantic texts
Send them a mushy text/email every hour, on the hour, for the whole day! Run out of things to say? How about a ‘reasons why I love you’ theme. And wives, make those texts as steamy as you dare to. Yep, I know. Genius. You could take it one step further and send a photo slideshow or collage, complete with soppy music, to their inbox. Guaranteed to bring all the feels (and you didn’t have to spend a cent or get a babysitter).Make a mixed tape
Compile a list of your favorite songs on a CD. Don’t forget to complete the gift with a hand made CD sleeve! (Make it extra special by writing down a special message underneath each song, on the CD sleeve.)Mushy gift pack
Put together a sentimental gift pack complete with soppy little trinkets that sends the message: I love you! Clue: photo key-rings (remember those?). Or how about a nom-worthy gift pack filled with all their favorite snacks?
Message in a jar
Another cute idea is to write little love notes (as many as you’d like!) and pop them into a jar for your partner to enjoy whenever they need to be reminded of how loved they are.Hand made cards
Dig out your children’s art supplies and get creative on a special hand made Valentine’s Day card, for your loved one. Channel your inner primary school kid to cut out hearts, draw colorful borders and (this is a must) pen a romantic poem written just for your love! (Bonus points if you add their name to the poem. Double bonus points if it rhymes.)Coupon book
You could be extra cute and make a little coupon book filled with tasks and rewards that your loved one can claim whenever they want! Try to get a good mix of mushy AND practical. (i.e. I would love a ‘back rub coupon’ but I would also love a ‘night off coupon’ to just veg on the couch)
Next level ‘heart attack’
Remember the ‘relationship month’ heart attack idea I gave you, to spoil your family? You could take it to the next level by hiding love-note bedecked hearts all over the house and car, for your loved one to find.Just tell ’em!
Oh and this one’s for free: Simply TELL them that “hey, I think you’re cute and I really love and appreciate you, babe!” Nothing tops sincerity and an open heart. And you can do that any day of the year. Cool, right?And there you have it folks! Please, let me know what you ended up doing for your special one, on Valentine’s Day.
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Help! My kid wants to date!
The other day, in mid-‘living my life’, my teen mentioned the word DATING to me. Gasp! My kid wants to date! The outcry! The audacity! The shock and horror!
I tried to not give him a look that said “boy, are you out of your mind?!” Because, I mean, the kid is growing up so it would make sense that he would show interest in this kind of thing.
But dating?!
So many questions came up. Like, would it affect his school work? And what does he expect to GET out of it? Is he ready for the commitment? And more importantly, am I ready for him to be ready for the commitment?!
I didn’t want to scare him away, while I got all up in my feelings, so I excused myself and took a moment to throw a silent, non-violent, facial-expressionless #momfit.
Taking a metaphorical woosah, before responding, gave me some clarity. And honestly, guys, up until the other day my boy had no interest in going to school dances or hanging out at a mall with friends because his XBox and younger brother were more than enough entertainment. We are very lucky that he’s content and not living past his years. But hey, he’s growing and changing and the last thing I want to do is make him feel as if he is doing something wrong, when he isn’t. So we had a heart to heart of sorts…and it wasn’t all that painful.
4 tips for tips for when your teen wants to start datingValidate their feelings
Teenagers are like mini-adults and the best thing you could do for your mini-adult is to validate their feelings. Let them know that you GET them. So that’s what I tried to do. I mean, hands up if you’ve done something forbidden behind your parents back. *raises all the hands* Yep, those were my hands. All of them. I’ve been there and I don’t want my children to feel as if they have to go down that route too. So we spoke about the girl/girls that he likes and how it’s okay to like someone and admire qualities about them.You don’t need to act on it
But with that said, we also explained that you don’t always have to do SOMETHING about it. Peer pressure and the “prescribed norm” ages our kids way faster than they are mentally ready. We explained that it’s okay to have friends that are girls and to hang out with them etc. But that doesn’t mean that you have to “cuddle” and *shudder* all these other things that his friends are doing. We spoke about sex. Yes, we didn’t use other words to sugar coat it. Sex is sex. I know his stance on it, but I also explained that both Chris and I had kiddies when we were still kiddies (remember, I told you guys that we had our sons before we even met) so it’s totally possible to go from “cuddling” to “more than cuddling” without even knowing that you’re headed there!Lay down the law
Once all the mushy stuff was said, I also had to lay down the law, because I’m the big person and he’s the little person (okay, okay, GROWING little person) and that’s how it works around our parts. We chatted a bit about what it means to be in a relationship and he agreed that maybe 16, 17, 18 (more like 30, 31, 32! aack) years old is a more mature age to commit to a whole other person. We spoke about what that would mean, how we would support him (chaperoning dates etc) and that he has all this time now to think about what it means to be in a relationshipGo easy on ’em but also, don’t
We laughed a lot and chatted about scenarios. We want our boys to grow up respecting women and treating the ones that they are close to with respect. Yep – I am not buying into that “my son’s a heart breaker” crap. Why? Because I have a daughter, and I will not allow my boy to treat a girl any differently to how we would expect a boy to treat our own daughter. Moms, you are raising someones future husband! You are raising someones future first love! I take that very seriously.Pray!
I figured that this last one right here is the most important, yo. I can’t always be with my kids but I know that God can. So I pray that they will make good decisions and I pray that they will be leaders in their sphere of influence and not followers who easily succumb to peer pressure. If you are a praying parent, it would also be a good idea to pray WITH your kids. It helps them to take responsibility for their feelings and actions.So yes, that was my horrific experience this week. And please, don’t be fooled, all of this looks REALLY good on paper – but truth be told I honestly don’t know how it’s going to turn out. But I do know that I want my kid to grow up to be a really superb adult and I figured that this is a pretty good start.
Moms, dads, what would you do in this situation? Do you have a plan in place for when your little one wants to start dating? Leave your wisdom in the comment section below.
Disclaimer: I received permission from my teen to share this post.
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Books that help you keep your marriage lit
Yes, I referenced the word “lit” in my heading.It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been married for, when February comes around you’re kinda hoping that something special will go down on the 14th. Fire! Explosions! Dynamite! Okay, calm down, maybe not fire. I mean, with all the logistics we need to deal with – and by logistics, I mean children – getting any sort of “marital burning” going on comes with its own challenges. So I’d settle for a small flame, even. But the beautiful thing about marriage is that you have your whole lives together to get (and keep) those sparks flying. It is with this in mind that I pulled out these 3 great reads for relationship month. And yes, I’m giving some away, in case you’d want to, you know, keep your marriage lit, and stuff. The 14th of February is just one day. And I’d like to have my marriage around a bit longer than that (try: forever). How about you?
