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Maya Deaf Foundation: Teaching your kids about disabilities
How do you feel about teaching your kids about disabilities? I’m going to be honest (because this is my blog and I can if I want to), teaching Kari about disability was not high up there on my list of priorities. NOT because I deemed the topic unimportant. I think that it is super duper important! But I was silly enough to believe that, at her age, my little girl wouldn’t really encounter someone with a disability. After reading about my friends Laz and Ruth’s amazing work that they are doing with Maya Deaf Foundation, I quickly realized how “doff” I was being. The truth is that it’s highly likely that your kid will, at some point, meet someone with special needs. I mean, Laz woke up one morning – at the tender age of seven – suddenly 100% deaf! Can you image that? Waking up to silence? -
Do you hold regular family meetings?
Does your family hold regular family meetings? You know, a gathering of sorts, where you are able to share your thoughts and feelings with each other? Yep, I get it, if you grew up in the *cough* 90’s like I did, a family meeting would be a foreign concept. In fact, it would be laughable! I mean, if we had family meetings back when I was a kid, my mum would respond to my “chores is child labor” claims with a shoe against my face. Well, that is a mild exaggeration, but you get the gist. Parents of the 90’s (and earlier) were not prone to needing the advice or opinion of their children. But things have changed, it seems.
So according to quite a few websites (I’m linking them below), it’s important to hold regular family meetings. These sites claim that families should sit down and deliberate decisions together… as a group. As in, your kid gets to have a say. One expert says that decisions should not be made without the kids consult. Apparently that’s dictatorship and no one wants to be that guy.
I read that holding meetings is a great way to include everyone in the decision making process and it creates a space where you can address issues, openly and calmly. Have you guys tried this at home? Well, I did, the other day. I mean, I figured that we arent living in 19-voetsak anymore and that it would be cool to hear the kids thoughts on certain things. Here’s how ours went down:
Winning
It was cool to address topics that were areas of concern. We brought up sensitive issues and made sure that everyone knew that we would respect each other’s opinion. Kyle (who loves debate) could argue his case and explain how he feels. And we could respond with our reasoning and thoughts on the topic. We then reached an amicable conclusion and were able to move on from the issue.Flopping
Did you read the part where I said that Kyle loves to debate? ‘Cause that. The kid can argue his point until next week, if given the chance. We had to remind him that this was a brainstorming session, and not an opportunity to attack each other. AND most importantly (well, for me probably), we get to have the final say because we are the big people.Conclusion
I think that family meetings are a great idea. But, before you hop right in there Harriet, lay down the law. Have some “family meeting rules” to comply with. In fact, a talking stick is also a really good idea too.Here are other bits of advice I found, that really helped us:
– Create a safe place (no judgies) for everyone to respectfully share their thoughts.
– What happens in Family Meeting, stays in Family meeting.
– For every negative comment, three positive comments must follow.
– Brainstorm ways to do things better, instead of focusing on the problem.
– Write down family goals and determine ways to reach them.
– Set the date for your next family meeting.So, that’s my take on the family meeting. What do you think, moms? Is this something that you’ve implemented in your own home? Please share your advice in the comment section below – you’ll be surprised at how many mama’s draw on the info that they receive in the comments.
Resources:
Centre for Parenting Education
Planning Alt
Lifestyle Plus Centre -
So I finally got my baby to take the bottle!
You guys probably remember how I ran around in a flat panic, the other day, when my boy refused to drink from his bottle. I mean, the kid had me close to tears. He was as stubborn as a member of parliament. (Oh wait, was that in bad taste?) I tried everything guys, EVERYTHING and I could not get my baby to take the bottle. Anyways, yesterday was my first day back at work, and I’m pleased to announce that my kid did not, in fact, half starve to death. I know, right? Winning.
Here’s what happened: I prayed. A lot. Nay, I begged the Lord to intervene! Man, I was desperate. Thursday was particularly grueling and after noticing the crazed look in my eyes, my baby sister offered to take Jo for a couple of hours. While alone, she says she simply stayed calm and tried a whole bunch of bottle teats on him, eventually finding one that he would allow in his mouth. She then sussed and rocked him, as she played with the teat in his mouth. And guys one-two-three, he was sucking from the bottle! WHAAAA?!!!! Victory! I felt like a newly crowned Miss World winner! She says it’s the combo effect of rocking, and sussing, and soothe-singing that got him to comply. Prayer works, yo! And that is a fact!
But now, in a strange turn of events, the kid only wants to take a bottle from my sister. And no, this is not a slight over exaggeration. Every single member of my family (well just about) has tried and he refuses. I mean, if he could pull us over his lap and give our bottoms a stern talking to with his hand, then he would. Instead, he just screams and screams, until we remove said bottle teat out of his mouth. My sis, on the other hand, gets googly eyes and cute little laughs from him, while she’s feeding him. I don’t get it! I just don’t! Except that I do… because, I mean, I prayed. And now the kid is taking his bottle AND my sis has offered to look after him until he’s a couple of months older (she’s a stay at home mom with all the patience in the world). I didn’t think that she would be an option, but she has offered and he LOVES her with a capital LOVE. I feel like this is the best thing that could have ever happened for Jo.
The kid loves his aunty. I seriously don’t know how she got him to take the bottle. So I asked her what her secret is. Drugs? Chicken pops? Voodoo? None of the above, apparently. But these are some of the top secret tips that might help you get your baby to take the bottle:
– Don’t try to introduce the bottle to him when he’s already hungry. The kid will probably not be impressed.
– Try a slow flow teat, since the kid is used to milk flowing at a certain pace. She also suggested trying to introduce a bottle that is the same shape and size as the pacifier.
– Allow someone else to give the bottle. Key: Don’t be in the same room/house with baby! They can smell you.
– Play around with different positions and milk temperatures.
– Let baby play around with the teat in his mouth, so that it becomes more familiar and not so much “help mom, an alien has invaded my mouth”… well, so to speak.
– Stay calm, baby can pick up if you’re freaking out (much like what I did in the beginning). Sing songs and talk to baby, as a way to soothe him and distract him.
– Pray, yo! Pray over your baby and for your baby and for your baby’s caregiver.Anyways, so with that said, my first day back at work was fairly mild. I mean, on a scale of one to Beyonce, my first day was a solid Michelle. It felt as if I never left. Freaky, right?
I think knowing that Jo is with a family member totally helps with the separation anxiety and settling in. I’ve called a bunch of times and he’s totally fine. Like, where is the loyalty Bruh?! No tears for mama? Kidding, it’s been a dream come true! God is faithful and that is a tried and tested fact.
How’s your week been?
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My maternity leave is over and I’m excited
No, the title of this post was not written by tiny alien invaders who have taken over my body in an attempt to gain a deeper understanding of how the average mom brain works. (Suspicious sounding much?) But yes, I am excited that my maternity leave is over. Does that make me a weirdo?
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love lounging around (aka cleaning the house, doing the laundry and getting lunch and supper ready, all while holding a 8kg baby) but I need to get my life back. I find myself craving routine again. Can you believe it? It’s the spreadsheet brain talking, fa sho. Guys, I miss being a normal person. (If Hubstopher were here he would make a snarky remark about how I’ve never been a “normal person”.) Can anyone else relate? Did you find yourself craving the “norm” after four months of lying at home and doing nothing? I mean, it sounds like a sweet deal, but is it really?
If you read my previous post you would know that Baby Jo has been especially clingy. I could not get any work done while I was at home with him. He’s a really sweet kid and all but the fact that he preferred me over like, the rest of the world, literally all of the time (good taste, by the way), meant that I had no free time. Maternity leave is a fallacy, I tell you! A farce! They make you believe you’ll be enjoying an extended vacation period, all snuggled up with cute baby en tow. What they don’t warn you about is the sleepless nights, numerous amount of times you have to pick puke out of your hair and that you feel utterly unfabulous each day as you attempt to find an over-sized shirt that matches your fading gym pants.Look, it’s not all bad though. I mean, I did enjoy the fact that I could stay in bed during the colder Winter days. And Jonah has been the cutest, chubby-cheeked cherry on the cake, for sure! But I can’t wait to wake up with purpose again. I love being able to use my brain (for something other than remembering which boob was last emptied) and I love working towards a goal, whatever that may be. I have so many exciting ideas and campaigns that I can’t wait to get started on. And most of all… I miss wearing regular person clothes and make up man!
So here’s to you maternity leave. Thank you for the glorious four months of binge watching Greys Anatomy, drinking an overwhelming amount of tea and snort-laughing, in bed, as I scroll through Facebook and read about other people’s Monday blues. You’ve been kind but my season here is done. Luchae….out! -
Help! My baby won’t take the bottle!
My baby boy has decided that he only wants milk from his mama – literally straight from the cow’s udder, so to speak. (Me being the cow, in this instance) He refuses the bottle, won’t take it, not interested in it and don’t you dare try to make him! It seems like a wonderful problem to have, but is it really? At first I felt oddly flattered like, yeah man, this kid knows who his mom is! But as time passed by and we drew closer and closer to the end of my maternity leave (today’s the last day by the way) I began to panic. My baby won’t take the bottle! Aack! What do I do?!
The wonderful people of social media land shared their advice with me (seriously, thank you guys) and I’ve tried it all, to no success. I’ve attempted literally every single type of bottle teat ever made in the whole wide world (well it feels like it). I’ve filled said bottles with my milk, formula, dipped its tips in a little bit of sugar to lure him to suckle on it, heated it up, cooled it down, did somersaults while juggling it in the air and spinning on my head, but alas, nothing worked.
What makes it even more upsetting is that when the kid is hungry or tired, he goes into this frantic cry/scream that only the boob can comfort. Yes, I did try cup feeding. It upsets him so much that he chokes. I’ve tried the syringe. He’s not impressed. Yep, I’ve tried a sippy cup too. I’ve even attempted to give it to him, in the guise that it’s the boob. He gave me a “are you kidding me, lady?!” look and spat it out. And then I left home for three hours hoping that with me away, he wouldn’t have a choice. Nope. He knows his rights and stood for what he believed in. (Politician in the making?) We’ve found that the only way to get him to take the bottle is when he cries himself to sleep. It’s a horrible, torturous way to feed a baby. But he will only suckle on the teat after he’s cried for an hour and is now dozing off to sleep due to hunger/anger and frustration. Meh. For real. Double meh.So here we are… hours away from my first day back at work and I’m writing a post that basically documents how this whole bottle feeding thing has been a flop. So there you have it. Word of advice to pregnant moms: Yeah yeah yeah breast is best and give your baby the boob and all of that. But don’t neglect to introduce your baby to the bottle as early as possible (if you’re planning to return to work). The earlier you do it, the better your chances of avoiding bottle rejection. Ask me. Clearly I know.
Moms, any advice for mamas who, like me, are struggling to get their baby to take the bottle?
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What my kids are playing with: Play-doh and Busy Box toy review
So my little miss has been giving me all the love because I brought home a couple of ultra cool toys from some of our blog friends. Hands in the air if you’re okay with being the cool parent. I know I am. I’ll take my cool points wherever I can get ’em from, thank you very much. Anyways, so you know how I love to give kids educational toys as gifts? Well, the toys I’m going to chat about today tick all the right boxes AND they encourage imaginative play, which is always a winner in my books! -
Just me throwing a spreadsheet brain tantrum
If you must know, I haven’t cared to update this blog of mine for the past two weeks. Mainly because this is my version of throwing a spreadsheet brain tantrum. You see, my site was hacked (I’m not even joking) a while ago and during the fixing something went wrong and now I can’t upload images into my posts. Firstly, I know right, are images really that important Luchae? Well yes, yes they are. Secondly, why would anyone want to hack ME? I mean, seriously now. Unless they want to infiltrate my blog in an attempt to take over… uhh my three bedroomed duplex (run by a small army that I created myself and now can’t get away from). Not extremly ambitious I would say. And lastly, why throw a virtual tantrum anyways. It’s not like anyone cares. Well I care. Throwing the tantrum made me feel better, okay? So there you have it. -
Teach your child the correct terms for private body parts
The other day Kari and I spoke about private body parts and it made me realize that I was not prepared for the conversation! My toddler is a precocious almost-3 year old who asks #allthequestions and says whatever comes to mind. We are actually quite proud of the fact that she has been able to string whole sentences together, at an early age. So when she wanted to know about the difference between her and her baby brother’s genitals, I realized that I could either faff around and make up ‘snuggly wuggly buggly’ names for it, or I could nip it in the bud and call a spade a spade. So to speak.
I explained to her that a boys private body part is called a penis and a girls is called a vagina and that it is a special area of our bodies, off limits to everyone else! Sheesh – I didn’t think I’d be giving the whole ‘sexual predators talk’ this early. But she is my very first daughter (not that boys are immune, yo) and I wanted to empower her. In fact, teaching your child the standard terms for all of their body parts are important. Yep, even the tough ones like vulva and scrotum. This is particularly helpful in safe guarding your kid against abuse because they begin to view each body part in a serious light, rather than as an awkward, embarrassing topic that should be avoided.
Psychologists (and I’m going to link relevant articles at the bottom to show you guys that I’m not making this up while sipping on my tea) agree that your kid is less likely to tell you if someone is acting inappropriately with them, if they feel embarrassed about their bodies and about talking openly about it. The correct names of their private body parts should not be viewed as a naughty word. In fact, knowing the correct language helps the child in a case where sexual abuse has taken place.Your children need to know that their private body parts are the same as any other body part, except that they are private and important. BUT they are still good, acceptable body parts and not “oopsie” areas. Perpetrators are usually more wary if a child is body conscious. Another article suggests that by ensuring that you only use the correct names for their private areas, it should immediately set off red flags if your kid comes home referring to them with pet names instead. (i.e. where are they hearing this from) By using the correct term, when referring to them, gives your child permission to talk about their genitals freely, should they have a concern.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this, mums. What do you refer to private areas as, when talking to your little one?
These websites offer more insight:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/going-beyond-intelligence/201703/call-children-s-private-body-parts-what-they-are
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/8-reasons-not-to-call-your-childs-genitals-pet-names_us_58743186e4b0eb9e49bfbec3
https://www.today.com/parents/just-say-vagina-using-correct-body-part-names-empowers-kids-6C9551650 -
Bath time with Baby Dove
As is the tradish, Curly and I did our monthly pamper, this time with the new Baby Dove range. I usually enjoy the banter that goes with it. But much to my dismay, the convo quickly went South – literally – as my 2 (almost 3) year old starting asking questions about our nether regions. I literally sat there thinking, woah this escalated quickly, how can I escape?! BUT I took it like a pro and answered her honestly and as clearly as possible. -
5 reasons why I’d be a great life coach
I sometimes sit and gawk at the sheer brilliance of my…well… brilliance. I mean, I’m pretty smart, even if I do say so myself. Which I do. Say so myself, that is. Anyways, not the point. I think that I am pretty good at self analyses. Maybe it’s the spreadsheet brain talking, but I love figuring out what makes me tick and what I can do to make me (tick) better. So with that said, I had this major revelation: I could totally be a life coach!You May Also Like
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