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I love you, I love me not
So Valentine’s Day is around the corner and I’m bracing myself for the onslaught of chocolates, roses and exaggerated “i love yous”. I mean, that’s what the big V Day is all about, right? Buying sweet treats and pretty flowers for the one you love? Right? Well, what if I challenged you to use this month of love to do something else… something even MORE special… something that most of us (females) are not good at doing… What if I challenged you to love YOURSELF this Valentine’s Day. What would that look like?
Now as cliche as this sounds, please know that I’m not here to promote obnoxious self-love. Loving others and caring for others is important – it is our mandate! But I’ve found that as wives and mother’s, we’ve somehow been duped into thinking that looking after your family and your home is a way of loving yourself. We mistake the fulfillment that those tasks bring for, well, self-appreciation. And it’s not. I mean, yes your heart is full because it is in our nature to care for the ones we love. But this is not self-compassion.
Self-compassion means you recognize your OWN worth and your OWN need to be looked after, and guess what, you aren’t sitting around waiting for someone else to do it. Self-compassion means you understand the importance of self-respect… of standing for what you believe in and being unapologetic about what you allow in your life. You can love others and not be a door mat at the same time, guys.
For some of us, self-appreciation could mean going for that pamper or a fresh hairdo. Or it could mean taking a spiritual regroup every morning, in the quiet of your home, while everyone is sleeping. Rest your bones, revel in the silence, speak to God, remind yourself that your life has purpose and you are more than just a dish washer/clothes folder/lunch maker. It’s okay, no one is looking.Single ladies, self-compassion means being okay with being okay. You don’t need a man to “complete” you. And you don’t need to entertain conversation that implies it. Want roses this Valentine’s Day? Buy some for yourself, girl.
Heck, for me, self-compassion involves washing my hair and then watching Grey’s Anatomy with a cup of tea! It may not look the same for all of us, but the one thing in common is that you feel rejuvenated afterwards. You are reminded of your value. It’s like you’re saying “Oh hey, I think I’m kinda special!” or “Oh hey, I deserve to have a break!” And guess what, you don’t have to feel guilty for thinking that way.
Anyways, where am I going with this? Well, I’ve decided that for the month of Feb, I’m going to be showing Luchae some guilt-free love! Why? Well, because you can’t pour from an empty cup. So I’ll be reading ALL the books, doing ALL the foot spa’s (at home, duh, let’s not get crazy) and using my quiet time to fill the pages of my beautiful journal. I dare you guys to do the same! When last have you shown yourself some love?
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All about my LG Sapience Top Loader with Smart Inverter
If you have small children or a large family, you’re probably intimately acquainted with your washing machine. My washing machine is my best friend. It helps that it’s a LG Sapience Top Loader with Smart Inverter though. I mean, I don’t mean to humble brag, but my best friend is pretty amazing!For starters, it has a bunch of really cool features that makes it so much MORE than just another washing machine. The Smart Inverter Technology eliminates wasted operation by efficiently controlling energy use. It also offers Smart Motion which offers 3 kinds of motions: ‘Agitating’ for powerful washing, ‘Rotating’ for tangle free washing and ‘Swing’ for a more delicate wash.
The Turbo Drum™ enables the most powerful wash and removes even the toughest stains and the Punch+3 washing power creates powerful streams of water to help mix laundry up and down repeatedly for even washing result.The Auto Pre Wash came in so handy, allowing me to soak my super dirty clothing, before automatically kicking in to ‘agitating’ power wash. This can actually be put on a cycle (soak – wash – soak – wash) for stubborn stains. And all you need to do is press a button! I must admit, I appreciated that the Smart Inverter Motor minimizes noise and vibration… especially when I’m doing washing at 11pm, after putting the kids to bed!
Water smart
In light of our current water crisis, be water smart when doing your washing! Here are some tips on how you can do that:
1. Make sure your machine is fully loaded, instead of washing small batches of laundry. If you only have a few items (hand wash?) adjust your settings to the smallest capacity.
2. Consider skipping the extra rinse option. Make sure you’re using the right amount of washing powder.
3. Wash more than one load of washing in the same water, by stopping the wash cycle before the rinse cycle starts.
4. Collect grey water in a bucket (or in your bath) and use it for the toilet, to water the garden etc.If you’d like to know more about my 15kg LG Sapience Top Loader with Smart Inverter, visit the website.
Disclaimer: The LG Sapience Top Loader was sent to me but all content and images are my own.
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On the move with Opalescence Go
I was so excited when Opalescence Go sent me one of their teeth whitening kits. I mean, I love coffee. But I’m not a fan of the yellow-tinge on my teeth, after a few cups of java. Coffee, and other highly acidic foods and drinks, are the main culprits behind the discoloration of teeth. If you love sweets, fizzy drinks, red and white wine and citrus, this may not be good news for you. But, fear not! I come with glad tidings of great joy! Opalescence Go promises to restore your smile back to it’s former glory, one pre-filled whitening tray at a time!
Opalescence Go is a simple, quick way to start a whitening treatment. This ‘wake up and go’ kit requires no impressions or custom trays. I mean, besides for checking with your dentist if your gums are healthy enough to withstand a teeth whitening treatment, you literally can get those pearly whites, well, pearly white again, in the comfort of your own home.
The Opalescence Go kit contains ready to go disposable trays that you can use right out of the package. The disposable trays are loaded with the Opalesence tooth whitening gel which contains potassium nitrate and fluoride. These ingredients help to reduce cavities, minimize sensitivity and increases the enamel hardness of your teeth.
How you use it
So once you’ve found the Opalescence Go product that best suites your needs and budget, you simply apply the tray to your teeth (it adapts and is flexible) and gently bite down to help bond the gel overlay to your teeth. Once you’re happy with the fit, remove the tray, and you’re left with a snug cover on your teeth. I found it comfortable and I could actually still have a conversation while wearing it.
The kit I received required me to wear the tray for 60 minutes, for about 5 – 10 days, before I would see results. Opalescence actually has a bunch of different kits to suite your lifestyle and needs. They also come in a variety of flavors – peach, melon and mint. The kits are available in 10% and 15% hydrogen peroxide concentrations. I did notice a definite change in my teeth’s appearance. In fact, my teeth felt cleaner after the first application… I mean, if it’s possible for your teeth to feel clean. I used the Opalescence whitening toothpaste afterwards to maintain and prolong my newly found bright, healthy smile.
Disclaimer: This post was sponsored by Opalescence South Africa.
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Meet the Mommy Blogger: Cindy Alfino of 3 Kids 2 Dogs and 1 Old House
If you guys are looking to inspire those #lifegoals, you need to check out mommy blogger, Cindy Alfino, who blogs over at 3 Kids 2 Dogs and 1 Old House. For starters, Cindy and her fam could totally moonlight as clothing catalogue models. And secondly, they are always off on an adventure somewhere! In fact, a few days ago, the Alfino’s announced that they will be taking a gap year of sorts, to trek across South Africa in their 1978 VW Jurgens Campervan! Madness? Uhhh, yes! Super duper legit? Uhhh, heck yes!Cindy’s blog is not just your average parenting blog. She is a really amazing writer and each post is filled with a dash of humor and quirk, that speaks right to my spreadsheet heart. She started the blog way back in 2010, after the birth of her second baby, as a way for her to document the special memories made with her little ones.
“I love that my kids have a place to see how much I love them. I hope that one day if they ever take a moment to look through it all, they feel smothered with love.”
Besides for posting about mom life, Cindy also tackles sensitive issues such as marriage and her battle with her skin. She also covers things like travel, home decor and parties/events…. all from a parenting aspect. “Basically our day to day lives and the things we get up to – both the good and the bad.” she explained.
When asked what the most challenging part of blogging is, she said: “Time. It takes SO MUCH time to create good quality posts worth reading.” She admits to being her own worst critic (aren’t we all, you guys).
The thing about being a blogger is that you place yourself in such a vulnerable position when you share your personal struggles, wins and losses. For some of us, it means taking the bucket load of poop that resemble your thoughts, and then dumping it into a blog post, in an attempt to connect with other mums who might be feeling the same way. Or it could mean trying to make sense of the sitcom that is your daily life, by putting it all down on paper. Or, in Cindy’s case, it could mean carefully documenting the small moments in an attempt to somehow keep the memory alive somewhere out there, on the interwebs.
Cindy’s pretty much a rock star in the blogging community. In 2014 she hosted the very first #CTMeetUp – an annual blogger event, for influencers based in the Western Cape – to hang out, connect, eat all the food and learn from industry experts. She has been featured in Living and Loving, Spar Savour, Marie Claire and had a brief stint, with kiddies en tow, on SABC 3’s The Weekend Edition sometime last year.
The Alfino’s will be hitting the road in July-ish. Make sure you’re following them on social media and on the blog to see what they get up to!
The YouTube Channel
Then Facebook Page
Images: Header image by Marike Herselman; Cindy’s portrait by Shante Hutton; Camper van image borrowed from 3Kids2Dogsand1OldHouse
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Bath time with Bubiroo
Bath time around our parts are quite a mission. I mean, for starters, there are now two squirmy little bodies to clean and the two-year age gap means nothing because the littlest one is just as active as the bigger one is. They just don’t sit still! We still have fun, none the less. Kari loves introducing Jo to our “lotions and potions” regime. She got really into it, the other day, when I added Bubiroo to our regular pamper session.You guys, Bubiroo has really impressed me! I mean, besides for the fact that owner, Dorae, is an actual qualified Naturopath and Homeopath (so she knows what she’s doing, yo). The Bubiroo product is 100% natural, handmade with love, and free of all the junk you would find in commercial baby products. That’s right, it’s preservative free and does not contain chemicals, artificial fragrances or coloring, mineral oils, parabens, petroleum sulfates or nut oil. And guys, I know you usually expect to spend a lot on all natural products but these are really well priced!
The baby wash and shampoo contains marula, mandarin and may chang and smells really clean. (I know, I’m so descriptive). What I mean is that most baby washes has a sweet scent, but I liked that the Bubiroo wash is almost fragrance free. It also doesn’t foam like normal washes because it does not contain sodium laureth sulfate. 100% goodness! I haven’t tried it out on Kari’s mop of curls, but it did the job on Jo’s hair. His hair did not feel coarse or sticky afterwards (as I expected it to).
The baby wax is the best thing in the world! It contains a whole bunch of amazingness such as coconut oil, beeswax, shea butter, calendula oil, ylang ylang, marula seed oil (and the beat goes on). The consistency is a bit hard to the touch (because of the coconut oil), so you would need to warm it up by rubbing some between your hands, before applying. It’s such a great product for baby massages and rubs. I am a huge fan! Kari enjoys digging into it and rubbing the wax between her little hands. It’s actually a double score for me, because I don’t have to worry about copious amounts of lotion being slathered all over my bedding!
The baby bum balm is probably one of my favorite Bubiroo products. Jonah has fortunately been nappy rash free so I’ve never felt the need to cover his little bottom with thick, overly medicated bum creams. I mean, I want his skin to breath, while still being protected. This is the perfect product for that. And again, because it contains coconut oil you need to warm it up first before application, but once applied it goes on like a thin layer of ointment and smells great!Talking about ointment, Kari refers to the Bubiroo products as her “ointment” because she loves the smell and she says it makes her “better”. And how right she is! If you’d like to get your hands on some Bubiroo products check out the Facebook page for more information or drop them an email. Moms, if your kids have overly sensitive skin, chat with Dorae. She’ll put together a product tailor made just for you and your kid!
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Are you a married single mom?
I became a mom at a very young age. My baby daddy and I were not married. When our relationship ended, and he moved to another city, I suddenly found myself navigating the choppy waters of parenthood alone, as a single mommy, and let me tell you, it was hard work. Anyways, I eventually got married to my Hubstopher and to be honest I thought that things would change. But the truth is I still feel like a single mom sometimes. A married single mom. Does anyone else feel that way? Your reasons could be that your partner is not very hands on with the kids, or maybe he works a lot, or maybe, like me, your kids just prefer you. You find yourself somehow steering a ship designed to have two captains and you’re not even sure how on earth you got there.
It’s not uncommon to feel as if you’re the only one doing the work in your household. I remember growing up and hearing my mother moan something along the lines of “am I the only person living in this house?!” while changing the the empty toilet paper roll for the gazillionth time. Well, I found myself thinking these very same thoughts this past weekend and the amounts of “uhhh HECK no!” that hit me full force in the face, was astounding! I was NOT going to be a married single mother. Heck to the no! Not me, not this lady. Not again.
Now, maybe your married-single-mom-ness is due to the fact that your husband works in another city, or maybe he works crappy hours. Fair enough. Maybe he simply chooses to not do anything. That’s another blog post for another day. But you see, mine is none of the above. Hubstopher is always eager to help out. I mean, granted he has his fair share of “I’m in my work bubble” moments at home, while I’m trying to cook, do homework and bath the baby all at the same time. But if I had to keep it real, I sometimes find myself subconsciously choosing to be the only one pulling the weight. Why? Well, because he won’t do it the way I do it. So I’d much rather pack the lunches myself, thank you very much.
I know how to make the baby’s bottles, so I’ll do it. I know what Kari needs to wear to school, and he might dress her in her “going out clothes”, so let me get her clothes and dress her quickly. I’m able to bath both babies, at the same time, and leave the bathroom clean in the process. When he baths them (one at a time, and it takes forever!), the bathroom ends up looking like a bomb exploded in it. I’ll do it, thanks. Sound familiar?
We can never compare being a “married single mom” to being an actual single mom. Single parents in general have way more challenges to overcome and there are other ways that Hubstopher supports me that I did not get when I was single. But I feel like I’ve inadvertently placed myself in a “married but single mom” box and it makes me want to punch someone. Me. I want to punch me. Because I’ve allowed this to happen! At times I’ve even chosen it! And guys, it’s NOT fair for one parent to be doing all the work.
Whether you’re a stay at home mom or you’re “single parenting” because your partner lives in another place. It’s flippen draining. Is it possible? Yes, it is. I know lots of single parents who are doing a kick ass job. But if your partner is present, I believe that he should be just as involved as you are with the day to day raising of your kids. And uhm, Margaret, there is no such thing as “but it’s the woman’s job to do it”. I mean, I get it, he’s the man of the house and he deserves to get the biggest piece of chicken during supper time. But being “the man” in your home has nothing to do with the amount of work you are negated from. In fact, it means you have a bigger responsibility to make sure your ship is sailing smoothly, Captain. You can’t call it babysitting if it’s your own kids, Broseph. Mommy is not the majority shareholder… it’s 50/50!So this post is for all of you who feel as if you’ve drop kicked yourself into a “married but single mom” box, by mistake. It’s okay. There is still time to change things. Let go of the reigns a little bit and allow your partner to step in and assist you. Take your shoes off, grab that cup of coffee, sit back and let your man be the man in your home and in your family. You’re welcome.
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Stuttering in toddlers: should I be concerned?
A couple of weeks ago Kari started stuttering. It came out of the blue, no warnings, and over a day or two the stutter was so severe that she gave up completing her sentences. “I can’t say it!” she would sigh, dramatically. (Always the diva) Freaked out? Why, yes, yes I most definitely was! I had read up about stuttering in toddlers a few years prior because Hubstopher also has a stutter and I wondered if it was genetic. I mean, I was prepared for it, but I wasn’t, if that makes sense. To see my 3-year old show symptoms of the speech impediment shook me!
We immediately brushed away the idea that this was learned behavior. I mean, Hubstopher’s stutter has simmered down to a slight stammer and he sometimes has whole conversations with out you even noticing his speech impediment. So it wasn’t likely that she was mimicking her daddy. And anways, his stammer was more syllable focused. Hers was pretty intense… she was stuttering whole words (not just syllables). What on earth could this be?!
Anyways, I did what any rational, modern mom would do. I asked Google. Look, I was prepared to take the kid to a speech therapist like, yesterday! Judging from the stories Hubstopher has shared about his struggle growing up with a stutter, it wasn’t something I was looking forward to seeing my daughter try to work through.
Guys, what I found on Google surprised me! For starters, Google literally told me to take a darn chill pill woman. Okay, maybe not literally, but that’s what I read between the lines.
Apparently stuttering is not uncommon in kids between the ages of two and five. Language dysfluency is basically a coping mechanism that occurs when little ones are learning to form words into sentences. The dysfluency usually manifests in word or phrase repetitions and, surprisingly, 5% of all children are likely to be disfluent at some time in their development.When kids feel rushed to speak, or they have a lot to say (but their brain is still catching up with what their mouths want to do), the stutter can occur. It’s also more evident when the child is excited, tired or stressed. The disfluency can come and go but it usually only sticks around for a short period of time. Experts say that if the stutter lasts for more than six months, you should then consider taking your kideo to a therapist. But wait it out. Educate yourself. Know what to look for and how to respond to the stutter.
There is some debate with regards to whether genetics play a role in stuttering. But we are confident that this is not our girl’s portion. In fact, the stuttering has since subsided and has been reduced to a stammer. Kyle has been a super sweet big brother, telling her to take a breath when she’s struggling to get a word out. It seems to be helping. We also try not to finish her sentences for her and of corse, we don’t show impatience towards her. We will be monitoring her for a few months to see if it worsens. But until then, it’s business as usual. Which means I get to listen to her endless Barbie bedtime stories. Yes, she tells ME a bedtime story.
Has your child ever showed signs of disfluency? Share your tips and advice in the comments section.
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Educating Your Kids About What They Eat
When it comes to teaching our children, it is not all just down to what they learn in school. Some of the most important lessons are the ones that we teach them at home, key life skills such as how to wash themselves, complete chores, and of course what to eat and how to cook it. Here are three top tips to educate your children and encourage them to get involved.
Make it part of your daily routine
Children learn best when things become a habit. So, from teaching them stain removal techniques such as how to remove ketchup from clothes when doing the laundry, to getting them to help pick out foods on your grocery list that will make up their meals, allow them to join in completing every day tasks. Each thing they do can be a learning tool to talk about where food comes from, what health benefits certain foods have, and how flavours and textures work together.
Take them to the source
Getting out and about is not only fun and good for your health, but it is also the perfect way to give your children an education in where their food comes from. Visiting local farms for example is great way to show them which animal is the source of the meat they eat, and shopping at a butcher’s shop as an alternative to a supermarket gives you the opportunity to talk about different cuts of meat.
Teach them easy recipes at home
Teaching our children about where their food comes from is the first step, next they need to know how to prepare it. Spending time together in the kitchen will both strengthen your bond with them and also teach them invaluable lessons that will benefit them once they leave home and have their own families to care for.
Here is a quick and easy recipe to help you get started with getting your children involved in the kitchen. Kids all love pasta!
Ingredients
Pasta of your choice
Olive oil
1 Large Onion
1 Can of chopped tomatoes
1 tsp tomato puree
1/2 tsp SaltMethod
1. Fry the onion in the oil, stirring often, until it turns pale brown.
2. Add the tomatoes, the puree and the salt. TOP TIP: Herbs such as basil add a great extra oomph to your sauce, while peppers can add the perfect crunch.
3. Cover the pan and simmer gently until your sauce is nicely thickened. TOP TIP: Adding a stock cube stirred in a little lukewarm water can help to thicken your sauce quicker.
4. While your sauce is thickening, prepare your pasta as normal.
5. Stir your pasta into your sauce and enjoy with a sprinkling of cheese on top!
If they get peckish for a snack, try this great sweet potato fries (that are actually baked) recipe! And in case of a mishap, I’ve got you covered on how to remove ketchup from clothes.
Ingredients
2 Sweet potatoes
Olive oil
Sea salt
Black pepper
Paprika
Garlic powder
Method
1. Start by chopping up the sweet potatoes lengthways into chips and soak in cold water for about an hour.
2. Remove the chips from the water and dry them in a cloth, then toss them into a baking tray and drizzle over with olive oil.
3. Sprinkle over the pepper, salt, paprika and garlic (and whatever other herbs or spices you like)
4. Next, place the tray in a preheated oven for about 35-45 minutes, or until they are cooked through and looking scrumptious!
5. Serve with some ketchup or guacamole, if you’re feeling adventurous.
You now not only have a couple of fabulous recipes to try at home, but also have some great tips to help educate them about their food, how to prepare it and of course how to clean up afterwards!
Guest post by Katherine Mosquera and Naomi Hassan of Mavens of London. Naomi has written for various food and lifestyle blogs and continues to work alongside Mavens of London to create immersive articles and blog content.Katherine has written and edited a range of articles from home and lifestyle, to food and fashion, and is currently a content creator/author at Mavens of London.
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Meet the Mommy Blogger: Nikki Lincoln of We Are The Humans
You guys, have you ever innocently scrolled through Instagram and found yourself stopping to stare at other people’s cute children for way longer than normal? Okay, that sounded a bit more freaky than I had intended. Well, what I was trying to say is that, Nikki Lincoln has two of the most adorablest little girls in the whole world! The blogging mama, behind blog We Are The Humans, share that her gorgeous kids are her greatest achievement and that her blog is all about honoring the amazing role of being their mum.
She started blogging in 2009 as a way to stay in touch with friends and family, after relocating to Norway. Soon she found herself with baby en tow, and what was meant to be a way to touch base and share her love of vintage fashion, escalated into a fully loaded mommy blog.
“Having children has opened a door in my heart and I find myself more willing than ever to just share. Motherhood is so incredible and so tough and writing about my own struggles and achievements makes me feel like I could be lightening the burden for other moms that may stumble across my blog.”
Nikki so eloquently explains that although her blog is a “lifestyle and parenting blog”, it’s actually all about the lifestyle of parents. You guys, those three words just jumped out at me. (I mean, before I made the font bold) And isn’t it so true though? Even though we all have our unique interests and personalities and lifestyle choices, there is a tie that binds us. Being a parent kinda shifts your whole world from “oh hey, look at me and my new shoes” to “does someone know why my baby’s poop is the color of Shrek?”
I think that this common thread- this knowledge that someone else out there gets what it feels like to love a tiny human being with so much love that you feel like your heart is going to explode- is what makes mommy bloggers like Nikki so popular. You want to read something written from the heart of a mom who knows. A mom who gets it. A mom who doesn’t have it all worked out, and that’s okay.
“I think what has and continues to be rewarding is when I get comments or messages about something I have written that resonates with another mom. To know I have touched something in your heart is so powerful and it will always leave me in awe.”
Nikki explains that one her biggest challenges is consistency. But having a full-time job and full-time mom life is not slowing this one down! She is starting a really exciting podcast on Feb 1st and I really can’t wait to get into it! Make sure you’re following her on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, for the launch!
Learn more about Nikki and We Are The Humans over on the blog, or check out links to some of Nikki’s more popular blog posts where she chats about:
Needing a mom tribe
Putting your relationship first, after having kids
Sending your little one to nursery school
Being okay with having a messy home
Teaching your kids about racism -
Want to meet some of my fave South African mommy bloggers?
In case you’ve missed the news, I am in fact a mommy blogger. “Argh, what does this even mean for your social life?!” I hear the masses cry in shock and horror. Calm down people, it’s not as bad as it looks. Being a mommy blogger is actually a really great way to meet… well… other south african mommy bloggers. And pretty soon these “on screen friendships” develop into pretty deep real life relationships and before you know it, you’re able to have an emotional conversation, via Whatsapp, at midnight with someone sitting on the other side of the country, who totally gets you.Why am I telling you this? Well, because I do believe that our local mommy bloggers are gosh darn amazing! They have a lot to say (and that’s where the blog comes in) and they are all so eager to give their readers the BEST content.
Besides for the interesting product reviews and awesome giveaways, one of my favorite thing about mommy bloggers is that they share real life stories. I appreciate that they are brave enough to overshare with their readers. Parenting is tough, yo! I mean, sure it’s all unicorns and rainbows and fluffy clouds… until the glittery poop hits the fan. Which is why, if you’re feeling particularly loony toons, it’s so great to be able to read someone else’s personal testimony and be like “yeah! me too!”It’s with this in mind that I thought to feature a couple of my favorite South African mommy bloggers on my blog every week. I think that these ladies are pretty rad, Brad! And I want you to meet ’em! My Meet The Mommy Blogger series commences tomorrow and will run every Friday, over the next couple of weeks. If you happen to check them out, do me a solid and visit my mommy blogger friends websites and show them some love! They’d love to hear from you.
Clip note: Pic above was borrowed from Venean Bosch of In The Meantime (bottom left), to her right is Eleanor Douglas-Meyers of Just Ella Bella, Mandy Miller of Pregnant in Cape Town (bottom) and Tracey Grammar of The Milk Memoirs. On top is Cindy Alfino of 3 Kids 2 Dogs and 1 Old House and then lil old me.
