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Choosing the right school for your child and other parenting headaches
I grew up in (what our brown people lovingly refer to as) the hood, in Port Elizabeth. You know… the type of suburb where all the kids in the neighborhood would play with each other, in the street, literally, because we didn’t have big yards or grassy side walks. It was a time of unsolicited nicknames (because we all knew a “China” or “Blou” or “Koppe”) and anyone’s parent was allowed to give you a group spanking if you misbehaved.
Back then, the unspoken rule was that when your time for schooling came, you would attend one of the public schools in the area. I mean, my parents probably knew exactly which primary school and high school I would attend before I hit five years old. There were only so many to choose from in our neighborhood.
Sure, some of our more fancier friends were carted to and from the “white areas”, attending posh schools with exorbitant school fees that our parents could not afford. They wore blazers and hats and sometimes spoke in accents and had derby days and cool extra mural activities.
The rest of us would walk to and from our public school (mostly in groups), stopping to buy 20 cent packets of “samoosa leaves”, “bompies” and “wind chips” along the way. We probably didn’t have the same opportunities as our fancier friends but I must say, my years at public school was pretty legit. I made great friends, had excellent teachers, participated in all the activities (seriously… ALL) and even entered my high school’s beauty pageant (no jokes). I would say that I had a well-rounded schooling experience.
This week, while Hubstopher and I were chatting about finding the right school for our little girl, all of these thoughts popped into my head, you guys. I mean, we want to give our kids the best life possible.
We want them to have the best birthday parties, and get them the best equipment for that hobby that they love. We want them to make really good friends who will stick with them through the bad stuff. We want our kids to find the job of their dreams and hey, eventually meet the one who will want to make them happy for life.
And, as we were chatting about all of this, I realized that schooling plays a big role in how it all turns out. I want my kids to have the same amazing experiences I had, when I was at school. And hey, I’m not naive, I know that we can’t control everything and that a lot of it depends on the child’s attitude. And anyways, sometimes you have a really stinky schooling experience, but still end up with a great life. I know. But still.If the little bit that I can do includes finding the right school for her, then I will darn well make sure I do the best job doing so.
And so the investigation starts, as I hop from one school website to another, trying to find the school that will fit our needs. Things that come into play are:
1. Location – Is the school in close vicinity to our jobs or home? What will transportation needs be like?
2. Aftercare facility – Are there aftercare facilities close by, that won’t cost, you know, the same price as your mortgage per month.
3. Affordability – This is a big one. I often talk about how school fees x 4 is the mood kill in our marriage. Okay, that’s me being dramatic. But seriously guys, if we’re wanting to add one more kid to the mix, we need to consider how much we’re willing to spend on school fees and aftercare fees. Also, some schools have really unnecessary extra expenses that I just can do without, thanks.
4. Extra-murals – My girl child is going to be a total replica of me… I can feel it! Kyle isn’t really one for extra murals, but this girl of mine will probably do as much as possible, and I love that! So we’re also looking for a school that is rich in extra-murals, artsy and cultural activities.
5. Values and school culture– Since we are Christian, our first prize would be a school with strong Christian values and beliefs.
6. Academics – Besides for having great teachers, the ideal school will also have a lot of support structures in place. Class size is also important and would play a big role in whether we sign up or not.
7. The fluffy stuff – Other little things that I would look out for is to find out which school her friends are going to. I mean, it wouldn’t entirely change my mind, but it is an important factor, in my opinion. I love chatting to other moms, with kids in grade 1, to find out what their experience has been like at the school that their kid attends.
We’ve narrowed it down to 3 schools and will be applying to all of them. But boy, has it been a trip! I’m telling you guys, parenting is a headache. The best kind! I mean, if you consider the fact that your decisions will kinda impact the type of grown up your child becomes, suddenly choosing a school is more than just a “which one is more popular” and “which one is more impressive” game. Right?
Anyways, after all of that monologue-ing, I would like to hear from you guys. What type of factors did you consider, when you were choosing a primary school for your little one? Share your advice in the comments section below.
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When is cow’s milk safe for my toddler?
My bully beef baby boy is growing so well, you guys! His budding personality and infectious giggles are the highlight of our day (Kari included!) and we love watching him grow into a real little boy. On his first birthday, I had begun to wean him off formula, introducing a growth milk slowly. My wallet enjoyed the relief! My Hubstopher appreciated the efficiency behind simply pouring, versus the mind-numbing time suck that comes preparing formula bottles in the middle of the night.
And then, the unthinkable happened. It was 11pm, on a Sunday night, and we had run out of growth milk. I don’t know, somewhere along the line, my spreadsheet brain forgot that we needed to stock up! Aaack! The shock! The horror! I knew that baby boy would be waking up soon, for his feed, and I had to make a plan quick!Enter: cow’s milk.
I must admit, I was going against what I thought was my better judgement. But I had no other choice. I decided to give the kid cow’s milk, hoping that his digestive tract wouldn’t, you know, explode on me. And guess what, you guys, he loved it. Granted, I had to mix a little bit of his growth milk with the cow’s milk (for the taste). But ever since that day, he exclusively drinks cow’s milk and his tummy has yet to show me the middle finger.
So, in true spreadsheet style, I decided to Google cow’s milk and whether I’m being the worst parent in the world, for giving a 14 month old milk from the udder of an animal. (So dramatic). Here’s what I found, you guys:
1. It’s high in protein and salt Cow’s milk has a high content of protein and salt, making it unsafe for infants under the 12 month mark to consume. It’s just not as easy for them to digest. But once your kid has had that first birthday, their digestive systems are mature enough to digest animal milk proteins.
2. Milk allergy is a real thing
Food allergy’s occur when your immune system tries to protect you against something that you may have eaten. Because your body is trying to work this foreign matter out, you are left with symptoms, which we would then recognize to be an allergy. Introducing your baby, too early, to cow’s milk could cause damage to the digestive system, resulting in milk allergy. Should you introduce cow’s milk to your toddler, and it doesn’t agree with them, the following are symptoms of a milk allergy: wind, bloating, diarrhea, stomach rumblings and aches, rashes around the mouth and chin, itchiness and swelling, vomiting and nausea.
3. Cow’s milk is amazing
Cow’s milk is a rich source of calcium and vitamin D, which helps to build strong teeth and bones, and is crucial for bone growth. Milk also provides protein and carbohydrates, giving your toddler all the energy he needs (you know, to jump on your couches and write on your walls with permanent marker…kidding!) Introducing cow’s milk to your child’s diet, as early as 12 months old is a great idea! This will set him up for a lower risk of stroke, high blood pressure, colon cancer, and hip fractures later in life.
4. What about fat-free and low-fat milk?
Whole milks are preferred, when it comes to your toddler, unless a doctor has recommended a low-fat milk due to high risk for obesity. Kids need a higher fat content of whole milk, anyways, to help them maintain their normal weight gain. Whole milks also assist the body in the absorption of vitamins A and D.
5. Is there such a thing as “too much milk”?
Yes, yes there is. Giving your child more than 4 cups of milk a day may affect their diet, since the milk will keep them full. If your toddler is thirsty, offer water, but since your toddler should be eating soft foods by now, try not to offer a milk bottle too often. This is one of the reasons why I loved the switch! My kid wasn’t eating solids as often as I would have liked and it was because the growth milk (and formula) sustained him and acted as a meal replacement.
References:
Parent 24
Babycentre -
Stay At Home Mom For What?!
I don’t know about the rest of you, but the past few days of “back to school” has me shooketh. It seems especially treacherous this time around- and this is coming from a mother who has lived through 12 “back to school” January’s.
Mornings are a hectic affair, with a whole bunch of kids and a husband to herd out the door, so that we can make drop off on time. I’m exhausted by the time I get to work… and then I have to remove my mommy hat, for my account manager hat… and actually focus on the work at hand. It’s not always that easy, you guys. Sometimes it’s so hard to keep all those balls in the air (when you’re not even in the mood to juggle, in the first place!).
Home time comprises of a very tired mommy loving on the kids, helping with homework, hearing endless stories of what everyone did for the day, combined with cooking, tidying up, bath time, doing dishes, bla bla bla (and the beat goes on.) Fall into bed at 10pm, wake up, repeat.
How do we do it ladies?
I’ve been reflecting on the beauty of yesteryear. My granny and her mom, and her mom (probably), were stay at home mothers. And while the idea of women staying home, to clean and cook, may seem like a terribly flawed way to live (because career and what not), I can’t help but secretly admire how those ladies managed to pull it off.
Being a “stay at home mother” is no small job. And they did it with joy (for the most part) and so effortlessly. And, more than that, they actually got it right to run a whole household on one salary! How the heck? I can’t even imagine how we would pull that off.
So it got me thinking, you guys: are we living super elaborate lives? I mean, how did those moms get it right to provide for their family, without a second income? Are the schools we’re choosing too expensive? Is our lifestyle too extravagant? Or is the cost of living just too high?
Next thought: we put so much value on our careers and, you know, climbing the corporate ladder and all of that. What if all I want to do is make sure my kids are healthy and happy, without being so drained at 8pm, that I can’t even spend five minutes with my husband, before falling asleep in mid-sentence.
I must admit, guys, I always wondered how on earth you could give up your career (and a steady income, yo) to stay at home whole day. But I get it now. Choosing to be a stay at home mom has nothing to do with copping out of work life. It’s more than just a having the ability to sleep in till 10am and wear pajamas whole day, while binge watching Greys Anatomy. (As delightful as that sounds.)
For me, right now, it’s about being able to make sure that I can sufficiently be all that my family needs me to be – without losing my mind! I so desperately want to make sure that I’m doing this #momlife thing right, and sometimes it’s difficult to be all things to everyone, while still making sure that I am healthy myself.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on being a stay at home mother. Do you feel that there are better ways to spend your time? Are you a stay at home mom? How do you manage to run a whole household on one salary? Do you regret giving up your job, to be home with the kids?
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Should we be raising more racially aware kids?
You may or may not be familiar with the story of a school in the North West, that left parents fuming after a picture circulated showing that the black learners were sitting separately from the white learners in the class.
A mother of one of the black grade R learners, from Laerskool Schweizer-Reneke, reported a case of racism, after she had received a pic in the class’s Whatsapp group, showing the obvious separation between the black and white children.
The teacher had explained to one of the black parents (upon drop off) that she was planning to rotate them during the course of the day, since they were still easing into this whole “big school” thing. (You’ll find a link to the video of the parent explaining this here.) During the course of the day other pics were sent to the Whatsapp group showing how this rotation happened.
Social media was ablaze with people sharing their thoughts and opinions on this disgusting event. The Department of Education got involved, the teacher was suspended and I believe the Principals job is on the line too. I mean, rightly so… right? This is obvious racism, right?But, Pam, I’ve got questions.
And it has a lot more to do with my parenting and a lot less to do with whether or not the teacher was racist. Hear me out:
Should we be forcing our children to have friends from different races?
The teacher assumed that kids naturally gravitate towards what is familiar to them, especially in a new setting. The “familiar” in this case is skin color and language. I kinda get it, because I’ve had colored friends who attended “mixed race” schools but found themselves hanging out with other colored kids on their first day at school. So if the teacher is right, are we saying that our children are racist, because they naturally gravitate towards someone who reminds them of themselves? Is this something we should be addressing?
Or do you find that your children does not see color? Should we be working towards a South Africa where our children don’t see color, or where our kids are mindful and respectful of each persons cultural differences?
Parents, do you actively ensure that your young child has friends from all race groups? Is this something we should be taking more seriously? I mean, come on, we want to raise kind, smart and well adjusted little South Africans, who are free of this negative spirit of Apartheid. But I’m wondering if we should be forcing our kids to be friends with Sipho AND Johan just because we want them to appear to be racially inclusive. Or would that be harmful?
Should we even be making our children aware of things like skin color, or do we want them to remain innocent to the whole race debacle?
I can’t guarantee you that my four year old is going to enter a new classroom, on her first day at “big school”, and pick a seat in between a white child and an Indian child, you know, just to make sure that there is enough racial representation around her.
I wasn’t there (and neither were you) so we don’t know if the teacher was being racist. (i.e. Racist: a person who shows or feels discrimination or prejudice against people of other races, or who believes that a particular race is superior to another.)
But I do know that the treacherous era of Apartheid broken us so much that we shouldn’t even be toying around with concepts like “segregation” and “exclusion”. And we definitely should not be crying “racist” so easily, especially if we don’t have all the facts. And especially not if its’a teaching moment for our kids!
I’m not saying don’t call the obvious racism out… heck no, Hector, you definitely need to! Our country depends on it! But because of our people’s difficult past, using the word “racist” is such a big deal now. It kinda makes us point fingers at each other again.
And when it comes to the way we raise our kids, you guys, we play a big role in the future of our country and how inclusive it will be. So this is where you come in, Mom. I want to know if you think that we should be raising kids who are color blind or should we be making our children aware that we are all different colors, but we’re the same inside. (Was that a bit gross? Hahaha)
I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter. Please do drop me a comment below.
Disclaimer: Comments will be mildly moderated, you know, just in case.
EDITED: I’ve changed some of the info I shared about the case, on the 18/1/2019, after someone pointed out that my information was incorrect.
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Moms, have you heard about the ‘Fiver Party’ trend?
What if I told you that “no gift parties” are the new in thing? Yes, I’m being serious. Okay, let’s start at the beginning. Hands up, if you’ve been to more kid’s parties in one year, than you’ve been to actual, grown up parties. In fact, taking your children to birthday parties is high up on the list of standard “things to do when you’re a parent”. But the thing is this, guys, it can get quite pricey if you’re attending copious amounts of birthday parties on the regular!
Well, one genius mom came up with the “Fiver Party” concept and it’s now trending in America and Canada.
A Fiver Party is basically a birthday party where all guests are encouraged to bring money ($5) towards a big ticket present that the birthday boy/girl’s parents would buy. Yes, you heard me Margaret. Instead of trekking to the shops to find that reasonably priced (but it doesn’t look too cheap, ya know?) gift, you can literally chuck some cash into a cute birthday card and take that along with you to the party.
Moms, all around the world, have expressed mixed emotions with regards to this concept. I mean, think about it. How would you feel about taking a R50 note to a birthday party, instead of a gift? Some are calling it tacky. Other’s say that it just doesn’t feel right to go with nothing but the cash. Other moms include cute stickers or a sweet treat, with the moola…. just so that it doesn’t feel empty.
But the vast majority love the idea! In fact, many of them are choosing to have Fiver Parties for their own kids! They say that their children have way too many toys already and it’s a brilliant idea to be able to put all the cash together to buy one big ticket item that the child really wants.
I have mixed emotions about it though. I mean, for starters, some moms just feel awkward about asking guests to bring money to their kid’s birthday party. But also, I really love the intention that goes behind every little birthday gift. My one friend made the cutest little bow-bedecked socks for Kari’s birthday last year. Another friend knew that she loves tutu skirts, and that’s what they got her. Kari was over the moon! Another friend gifted her with awesome reading books, that we’re still using today. I’m a sentimental at heart and I love that we can use these things and know that they were gifted with love.
BUT I’m not totally opposed to a Fiver Party. I love the convenience. It’s money smart (especially if the child is a bit older and is willing to save or invest the cash into something worthwhile). It’s also a great way to ensure that your kid isn’t focused on getting as much as possible… nipping that materialistic spirit in the bud. Besides who wants piles and piles of unused toys in their house, right? Your Fiver Party can even fund an experience (a trip to a cool destination or maybe an adventure that your child has always wanted to try).
Anyways, here’s where you come in, friends. What do you think about the Fiver Party concept? Let me know in the comments section below.
If you’re keen to host a Fiver Party, but not sure how to ask your guests for cash instead of a gift, you can use one of the samples below:
Sample 1
This is a NO GIFTS party, since we’re trying to help (NAME) focus on the joy of spending time with friends, rather than on receiving gifts. For those who would still like to bless (NAME) you’re welcome to gift him with no more than R50 that he can put towards something special he’s saving for.
Sample 2
Please note that gifts are not required. If you would like to give one, you are welcome to help (NAME) buy that big gift that he has his eye on. You can pop your card and cash gift into the gift box at the party.
Sample 3
This is a NO GIFTS party. Instead, (NAME) is proud to be able to raise money for his favorite charity. (NAME) will use half of the money collected to buy a small gift for himself and then donate the rest to (CHARITY NAME).
Sample 4
(NAME) is having a fiver party! She is saving for a (BIG TICKET GIFT) so if you choose to bring a gift, she would appreciate a R50 in a card.
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5 easy ways to be healthier
This year I vowed to take my health seriously – seriouslier? more seriously? – I want to be healthier, okay? But I knew that I needed a “5 easy ways to be healthier … without really trying very hard …” kind of list, because, let’s face it, another fad diet was not going to cut it for me.
I’m just going to say it: I’m not the healthiest person on the planet. I mean, I’m not proud of it. Don’t look at me like that Dr Phil, I know that I have problems. I love food, okay? Geeez give a woman a break!
So yes, If I have to force myself into a eating routine of sorts, I would fail immediately. Immediately.
Instead of trying to guilt myself into eating better, I decided to work on making little changes, over longer period of time. I mean, the key word is consistency. I figured that if I change small things, over a longer period, I will see results.
So here are my five easy ways to be healthier. You can applaud me for my “geniosity” at the end of the post.
1. Substitute my favorite drink for waterI’m a coffee fiend. I love me some java! But I knew that going cold turkey on it would basically cause my body to point and laugh at me. So, instead of deciding to not have coffee anymore, I resolved to rather have a whole glass of water before my coffee.
This means: if I usually have six cups of coffee per day, I would now also have six whole glasses of water, that I would consume before the coffee. You could literally do this with whatever drink you consume the most of.
The pay off is that usually, after the glass of water, I’m not really in the mood for the cup of coffee anymore. Am I not a genius?! Somebody call Kris Jenner, I think I need a manager!
2. Take the stairs
I’m a lifts and elevator kind of girl.
Whaaat, don’t look at me like that Jessica. I don’t like to physically exert myself. But the thing is this, guys, your body needs you to do some sort of movement, in order for it to stay in prime condition.
I knew that waking up at 5am to go to the gym is not “my thing” for many reasons (main reason: children, second reason: lazy). So, instead, I am now walking around more, taking the stairs when I can and basically trying to get as many steps in, per day. You can actually download an app on your phone, that helps to monitor how many steps you take per day. This is a cool way to motivate you to reach that daily goal.
3. I don’t do bread
I love bread, you guys. Like, A LOT. Like, if I were a teenager, bread would be my secret crush that I just can’t stop thinking about. Yes, it’s that bad.
But I realized that a lot of my bloatedness is due to my heavy consumption of bread. My body is just not happy when I’ve consumed copious amounts of carbs.
So, instead of telling myself that I cant eat all the carbohydrates in the world ever again, I’m just not eating bread anymore. So that means I might still have a little pasta now and then, and you’ll probably find me dunking my chip in your tomato sauce here and there. But I draw the line when it comes to actual breads. They are not my friend.
4. More fruits and veggiesVeggies are boring, right? But I feel like this is one of those duh moments, because (duhhh) everyone knows that consuming more fruits and veggies is what one does when you want to be healthy.
Well, guys don’t be shocked, but I’m not a fan of either. I wouldn’t normally go out of my way to pack fruits or veggies into my lunchbox. So, instead of forcing myself to do this, I try to keep some fruit in my draw at work, so that it’s on hand and readily available when I want to snack. I’m more likely to consume fruits and veggies when it’s easily accessible. I’m also learning how to make more yummy, veggie-laden foods, because who said that veggies are boring? (Me, I literally said that a minute ago).
5. Batch cooking
Okay so batch cooking is another clever way to prep healthy food, for the week ahead. The many perks include not having to cook during the week AND you get to pre-plan healthier meals.
I also found a bunch of really great ways to add more veggies to your meals. Yep, a lot of them involve hiding the vegetables away because my kids will start an actual riot if I present them a dish with too much green stuff in it. Also, you could totally make your batches big enough to have a serving of last night’s leftovers for lunch the next day. This should totes make you a bit more intentional with what you put into your body (and that of your family, yo). Spreadsheet brain is loving it!
So those are my five (very clever, highly genius) ways that I plan to be more healthier this year. Do you have any similar (health) tricks up your sleeve? Share them with me in the comments section below.
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The dangers of being too nice
So it’s the start of a new year, yet again. I love how it always brings with it introspection and promise. This time around, I sit and reflect on the past year and, friends, I realised that I spent most of it, regrettably, trying to be a “nice person”.
Yes, I know what the word “regrettably” means. It means that I feel deep remorse about the fact that I was “nice”, last year. Well, it’s the truth. I wish I could take back my niceness. There, I said it. Do you sometimes feel that way too?
Real talk: I’m super good at acting happy and being all chipper, even when I’m feeling really bad. It’s not real life, you guys. It’s a mask. I’ve come to realize that my “being nice” can be pretty superficial. And if I was superficially nice for a whole 12 months, then that means that I spent most of the year trying to, basically, water a bundle of poop and hope that it would grow flowers. (Poop flowers?) And then beat myself up at the end of the year, when my (poop) garden refused to bloom.
When you’re almost 40 (okay, granted, I’m a few years away, but humor me in my old age), you kinda find yourself developing a low tolerance for (internal and external) rubbish. And the start of this year has awakened a new resolve in me. A resolve to stop walking around with the concept of “but I’m a nice person” when I come across said rubbish.
Because the truth is this: some situations call for you to not be nice. Some situations need to be dealt with sternly and, dare I say it, abruptly. Some situations might not even deserve your attention! But your “niceness” becomes an excuse, letting you believe that it’s okay to be mistreated because you’re nice and you can take it. And then, you find yourself unwillingly giving those demons airtime in your head, all because you’re too nice to say NO!
As a “nice person” I often “felt bad” about making other people feel bad, and so I would avoid addressing issues that would make them uncomfortable. I avoided calling out shade, or letting someone know that I’m aware of their stinky behavior (remember, I still wrote about one such incident here) because I believed that I was SUCH a nice person (insert eye roll) and I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.I mean, I’m not saying that empathy is a weakness, you guys. But this is such a silly notion. Because, truthfully, I put on my “nice girl” hat to protect MYSELF, not someone else, and then I allow myself to believe that I’m doing the world a favor when honestly, I’m just avoiding confrontation.
I’ve learnt that healthy confrontation is a good thing. Healthy confrontation is powerful. And if I really value the relationship, I wouldn’t mind telling someone when I feel bad about something. Because, chances are, walking around wearing my “Miss Nice Girl” hat all the time, will eventually cost me a relationship or an opportunity or mental and emotional health (Que: Drake – In my feelings).
I mean, you can be as nice as you want, Martha, but at the end of the day, it will catch up with you and you will have to ,eventually, deal with it.
And how do we deal with it? Well, we deal with it by confronting the issue, talking it out, forgiving and moving on. My point is that you can kinda do all of that way back in the beginning already, instead of waiting for the poop to build up. (I say poop a lot in this post, don’t I lol)
So that’s my (kinda) resolution for the next season. No more nice-nice. And a lot more transparency and honesty. Anyone care to join me?
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A late recap of 2018 because I can
As the snotty title of this post implies, I’ve only now woken up and realized that I did not post my mandatory recap of the previous year yet. I blame this on the lazy holidays and my brains inability to function when I’m not wearing any make up. (Anyone else find it hard to focus when you’re not dressed for a work day?) Anyways, excuses aside, I’ve decided to do my 2018 recap, even though we’re one week deep into 2019 because I can and I want to and you can’t make me stop! (Childish tantrum, anyone?) Anyways, here’s a bit of a recap on the past year:
January
I had decided that my theme for 2018 would be “do the thing“. So eloquent, so powerful. Basically what this meant is that I would nail my goals, no matter what, no excuses allowed! A lekker holiday always makes you feel like you can conquer the world. I also chatted a bit about my faith and how I feel that people discriminate against me, because of it, sometimes. We also had all the Day Zero water saving tips making its rounds and I told you guys that my Hubstopher likes it when I give him the silent treatment. Pffft!February
The month of love brought on feelings of “argh why did I eat so much chocolate last year” and I ended up writing an emo post about my body issues. But hey, to balance that out, I also wrote an inspiring post about loving yourself (it’s all about balance, yo) and I told you guys the truth behind Valentines Day. Oh and in Feb we had our very first Purge Party, you guys!March
March 2018 was a difficult month for me, as I grieved the loss of a friend’s baby. It reminded me just how overwhelming Motherhood can be – overwhelming in the sense that you throw your whole entire heart and soul into loving this little person, before you even meet them, and you find your life completely changed by the very concept of them. I also told you guys that I want to adopt. Nothings changed – I still want another baby. Call me crazy. But not to my face.
April
I don’t know what on earth I was going through in April but I wrote a bunch of rant-posts. I mean, I wrote about how my husband MUST be cheating on me and also how to deal with people who don’t like you and I told you guys all about how I plan to get revenge. So dramatic. I also addressed the issue of the newborn baby that was found in a drain.May
May is Jojo’s birth month, so there was a lot of birthday party planning and I ended up going with a birthday play date instead. Best decision of my life! The birthday play date was so lekker! May was also the month of royal wedding you guys! We swooned over it for a wee bit (see what I did there?) and I confessed that I, too, married a prince. If you can recall, we spoke about making sure your kid is smartphone smart and I let you in on all our #ECMeetUp excitement and my hair drama.June
June was all about my new hair (well, in my mind it was hahaha). I also made my own chocolate at the Cadbury Factory and I told you guys all about how to be a blogger. Oh, don’t worry, I did get all emo (as I do) and wrote a post about how crappy it is to celebrate Father’s Day when you’re a single mom struggling to get your dead beat baby daddy to step up. You’re welcome.July
My kids a model. Seriously! Kari modeled for Lil Punk in July and we were blown away! My Jojo also got infront of the camera, for Cutepix Photographer, as a model for Michelle’s latest offering: Paint Smash Photo Sessions. How adorbs is this munchkin?! I also asked you guys to stop encouraging your man, when he calls his ex psycho. It’s rude. And also, I spoke about the many reasons why I probably shouldn’t have another baby. Hahahahhaha and look at me now, picking out imaginary baby names. Oh how the mighty has gotten broody.
August
August was all about the fashion and I showed you guys Kari’s photo shoots with KrulKop Society and The Little Closet. I also offered you a range of advice (because apparently I’m Oprah now) such as: How to ignore people who think you’re annoying, How to be as dramatic of a wife as possible, How to not fall for fake news, How to keep your kids safe from abduction and how to spot if someone is being abused.September
In September I was very sick. I told you guys about it in two whole posts. Thank you for reading. I also eventually got around to sharing about human trafficking and what the experts are saying about whether you should share your kids pics online.October
In October I introduced my #dateyourspouse concept to you guys and you loved it! I also asked you to please stop thinking that your Facebook is hacked – for the love of all that is good, staaap! Oh and I reminded you that your kids watch your every move.November
In November, you guys rallied behind me, after I shared a post about some bullies who had made fun out of my limp. THANK YOU again, friends! Your support was amazing! We also got festive up on the blog and I shared a bunch of lekker things to do during the silly season, including: My top five Christmas party games, our Christmas Tree Night traditions and some fun end of year party themes.
December
December, oh oh, December! Since it was December and all (and all) I shared some cool tips for hosting a family game night. We had our final #ECMeetUp for the year and it was so lekker! We ended off the year with the 10 things I learnt in 2018.And what did I learn in 2018? Well, I learnt that those who matter won’t mind (when you do you) and those who mind don’t matter! I learnt that the pie IS big enough for all of us and I also learnt that what you put into relationships is what you’ll get out! Looking forward to a year of abundance in 2019… it’s time for new things!
What are some of your highlights of 2018? What are you looking forward to for 2019?
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Nailing those New Year’s resolutions with Uber Eats
If you’re anything like me, you probably have a host of unfulfilled New Year’s resolutions under your belt. You know, the ones that you are not proud of. Like “get into shape” or “get out of debt” or, let’s be honest, “get out of that toxic relationship.” Resolutions are a fickle thing. We make ‘em, we break ‘em, we allow ourselves to feel like a failure because of ‘em. Who came up with this concept?! I need to speak to his manager!
The truth is this: reaching your goals is a journey… not a destination. Rushing to get there won’t help you to fulfill them, you guys. With this in mind, I decided to break down my 2019 resolutions, into easy steps, so that I don’t end up feeling like I want to drown in a bag of Niknaks when December hits. Here are my resolutions for 2019:
Healthy Mind
In 2019, I want to be less stressed and more focused on the important things. But instead of just hoping that I’m all of a sudden going to “feel less stressed”, I’ve decided to make monthly goals for myself, that include things like going for a full body massage and eliminating unnecessary commitments. It gets easier when you break it down into bite sized chunks, I promise. I also want to try to minimalize my daily to do lists… so that means less frantic cleaning of the house and more chill time on the couch and ordering meals via Uber Eats! The Uber Eats app has 100s of restaurants listed… so there’s something for everyone! Winning already.
Healthy Relationships
I really want to focus on establishing a deeper bond with my kids and my Hubstopher this year. As you guys may know, hubby and I do regular #dateyourspouse updates and I have so enjoyed getting to know him again, through our monthly date nights. I was thinking of doing the same for my kids. I mean, there are four of them, so it can get a bit difficult to keep track of who is going through what. Regular quality time dates, with each of our kids could help with that. And it all starts with being intentional every month! I’m talking about an after work rendezvous while the rest of the family orders in via Uber Eats. The cool thing is that I can schedule their orders and pay beforehand, or get them to pay cash. So everyone feels loved and taken care of. I’ve got this mom thing waxed.
Healthy BodyI’ve let go of the “be as skinny as possible” dream because it makes me break out into hives. Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to have rock hard abs?! Instead, I’ve decided to focus on being healthy. This includes fitting some form of physical activity into my weekly routine and yep, eating better. Thankfully, Uber Eats has partnered with Kauai… I mean, how amazing is that? Freshly prepared, healthy meals, delivered to my office. It kinda takes the pressure of it all off my back. Uber Eats also allows you to save your home or work address, for quick and easy food deliveries. You can also stay in contact with your Uber Eats driver, via the chat function, on the app. So no “food getting lost” scenarios. Super helpful when you’re starving at the office!
Do you have any resolutions for 2019? Have you tried out Uber Eats yet? Let me know in the comments section below.
Disclaimer: This post was written in collaboration with Uber Eats
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10 things I learnt in 2018
Friends, 2018 was a cracker of a year! I mean, as a family, we experienced a whole bunch of not so lekker situations. But, we were also blessed beyond measure… we still have each other and our health and a roof over our heads… how terrible could it have been, seriously? As always, I focus on finding the lesson in the stressin’ (ha, see what I did there). So, if I had to write a memoir about my 2018 findings, they would include the following bits and bobs:
10 things I learnt in 2018 that probably won’t blow your mind but it did mine
- I love being a mother
Yes, this is number one on the list. But you guys, I love being a mother so much that I totally wouldn’t mind having another little bebe suckling at my breast. (Graphic much? Whaaat, I paint with words). Our accident the other day made me realize how short life is and how much I love being a parent to our kids. I love having a big family!
- Maybe you need to love yourself more
You know how you’re always convinced that people don’t like you? Well, sometimes they do. Sometimes you just don’t like yourself. Give yourself a break, man! As a wise man once said, “we’re just ordinary people… we don’t know which way to go.” We’re always instructing people to love on people. Well, in 2018 I learnt that sometimes I need to work on loving myself, yo!
- Money is lekker, but it’s not everything
You guys, I have a lot of children and I want to have a couple more. I need money to do this. We need it to pay for school fees and medical aid and food and, you know, the wifi and other important stuff like that. But, you guys, I’ve learnt that I would much rather live with a very poor Hubstopher, in a shack, while our kids wear hole-bedecked clothing than live in a huge mansion with fancy bedazzlement, and no Hubstopher or kids. What I’m trying to say is that your big pay cheque isn’t impressive if you hold it up against love, family and contentment.
- You can’t make them love you if they don’t want to
Yoh, you guys, I am a self-confessed people pleaser. Just love me forever and I’ll be the happiest person in the whole world! But hey, sometimes you have to accept that you can’t win them all… some people are committed to misunderstanding you. Love them anyways, and move on with your life.
- People talk
Also, I learnt that people talk about other people. Heck, you talk. I talk. We’re good at exchanging information that is irrelevant to our own lives. It’s lekker. It’s exciting. It’s like watching a series, without having to spend the data. With that said, 2018 reminded me to rather not be that person. I don’t find it particularly exhilarating to have a group of people discuss me, my life or my decisions. So maybe it’s a good idea to not do this to other people too, right?
- Being healthy is better than being psychotic
This statement is loaded, so allow me to break it down: I spent 2018 hating my appearance. I had picked up a lot of weight, after having baby Jo and this – accompanied with diastasis recti – kinda made it hard for me to “bounce back” physically, as I usually do, postpartum. It drove me crazy you guys. Like, mentally crazy. Like, I wanted to not be me anymore. I know I’m saying this all jovially and casually now but believe me, the struggle was real. I had to learn how to be okay with my mom bod. My goal for the new year is to be healthy (not skinny) and, you know, to rather not let my lack of a six pack drive me cuckoo.
- Have a plan
I often brag about my spreadsheet brain, but to be honest, I’m not always as organised as I’d like to be. I mean, I can plan your party, no sweat. But I don’t know a darn thing about my life insurance, or the size of my retirement annuity or if I’m banking with the right people. Tis a boring lesson to learn, but it’s one that I did ponder upon, many times, in 2018.
- I’m only as tired as I let myself be
What does this sentence even mean? Well, I think that I’m tired (hahahah) of being the “tired mother”. We own this title like a freakin’ medallion, you guys, wearing it proudly to social events to compare with other moms. It’s almost as if we want a pity party and a standing ovation, all at the same time. I don’t want to be tired in 2019. I want to be well rested and satisfied and I want to know that I am spending my time wisely.
- I am capable
I learnt that there’s a lot that I can do. Sometimes we need to own up man, and be like, you know what I’m pretty bad ass! I often downplay my brilliance because I’m afraid that other people will be threatened by it, or you know, be jealous (hey I’m here to be real) and not like me anymore. I learnt that I am capable and I am amazing and I know a lot of other capable and amazing women and we should be a source of inspiration to each other, not envy.
- Vindication
The most important lesson learnt in 2018 is that God is fighting for me… on my behalf. He is the one who makes every crooked path straight. I learnt that I often try to do things in my own strength, and then I wonder why on earth I’m exhausted and going nowhere slowly. I’ve seen Him move things along that had been stagnant for years, and fix things that had broken beyond repair, in an instant, after I simply surrendered control.
And even now, as I sit and reflect on all that I’ve learnt in 2018, I am reminded that God has the ability to use every stumbling block as a building stone. His promise is to turn a troublesome circumstance into GOOD and to use your hurt and pain for glory. He can turn your mourning into dancing, friend. And through Him, you are able to achieve so much more than you fragile human mind could ever comprehend.
He’s never failed me yet. And that’s what I’m taking with me into 2019.
