-
‘YouTube for kids’ is freaking me out!
So I’m sure you guys have learnt about the freaky YouTube hacks that have been found peppered throughout some of our kid’s favorite YouTube and YouTube Kids videos. Yep, I’m talking KIDS videos… you know, the ones that are seemingly safe and harmless. The ones our children are glued to, when they are enjoying their screen time, each day. Malicious people are hacking dem videos, you guys, and adding content that basically encourages your little one to self harm, or even worse, end their lives or that of their families. Shocked yet? I know, right.
Pediatrician, Free Hess, found a bunch of YouTube and YouTube Kids videos that included tips on how to commit suicide… and they’ve been around for as long as a year, you guys! A mom friend of hers made her aware of the epidemic when the friend’s son discovered an eerie edit in one of the YouTube videos he was watching. Basically, in the middle of the footage, a guy appears, instructing kids to slit their wrists. “Side ways for attention, long ways for results.” (You can watch the video here.)
To date, Hess has reported numerous dodgey YouTube videos. Some contain content that promotes suicide, sexual exploitation and abuse, gun violence, human trafficking and domestic violence. All cleverly hidden in seemingly innocent videos that our kids are consuming!
The most recent disturbing YouTube content that I’ve stumbled on is the Momo Challenge. So basically Momo is a freaky looking character that targets young kids, by encouraging them to text a number on Whatsapp. This person then sends them disturbing challenges – instructions that they need to complete – ranging from performing daring acts, to engaging in self-harm and even taking their own lives.These Momo challenges appear midway through Peppa Pig, Fortnight and other Kids YouTube videos. Momo also freaks kids out by telling them that “everyone will die” and “I am coming for you”. Children are left traumatised and some are afraid to sleep alone. A three-year old, who had been exposed to Momo, while watching Peppa Pig, on YouTube Kids, told his mom ‘they’re going to kill everyone!’
I don’t know about you guys, but I am completely freaked out by this! My children will not be seeing YouTube anytime soon! But hey, I often relied on the safety of YouTube Kids, when my 4-year old wanted some screen time (and I wanted some, you know, adult time). But surely there are safer alternatives to YouTube… right? Well yes, yes there are. Here are few alternatives I found online:
1. Download your own videos, maaan! Instead of feeding YouTube content to your kid, find safe videos online (you might want to screen each video first), and save them to the device, so that your kid can view offline. You can actually buy a subscription to YouTube Red, that allows you to curate your own videos and save them to offline. Same thing. Tip: Always make sure the device is not connected to the internet.
2. Subscribe to Netflix, you guys. Netflix has a host of safe kiddies programs that are better alternatives than simply letting them go rogue on YouTube Kids. I love that Netflix has a developed a login that ensures your children are viewing kid-friendly content. Read more about those kid-friendly controls here.
3. Curated apps, like DisneyNOW, and PBS Kids are a great alternative. I mean, they produce their own content, so you won’t find Freaky Fred popping up on the screen anytime soon.
But either way, you guys, we need to be chatting to our small kids about online stranger danger. My 4-year old needs to know that there are bad people out there who may try to influence and scare her. Having these types of conversations are important. Let your children know that they must not be afraid to tell an adult, if they come across anything that makes them feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
Do you allow your kids to watch YouTube? What are some of the ways you safeguard them against the creepy content creators of this world?
-
Things we learnt by accident
Three months ago we were rear ended by a Ford Ranger while standing stationary at a red traffic light. The accident happened at about midnight, on a Saturday night, while we were on our way home to our babies after attending a celebratory supper. The last thing I remembered, before feeling the impact of the double cab, was Chris looking into the rear view mirror and shouting “he’s going to hit us!” The impact of the collision (is it a collision if we’re standing dead still and you’re speeding through the main road – probably drunk – and you end up hitting us?) was so huge that our boot was on our backseat. Homeboy then dismounted his cab (it was practically on top of our Astra), reversed and then drove away without checking if we are okay or if we have insurance, or if, you know, his negligence killed anyone.
Hubstopher injured his back severely and has been in and out of doctors and hospitals and chiropractors. The discs in his lower back has collapsed and he pretty much writhes in pain every other day. Playing guitar or bass guitar has become a tense situation because he almost always ends up with hectic back pain afterwards.
We now also have no car because, for various reasons that I won’t get into, this current car was not on our name yet and therefore was not insured. It’s all fun and games, really. Especially more exciting knowing that we don’t have the registration number of the driver of the other car, and so can’t hold him liable for the damage.
But anyways… my point is that this accident has left us in a far worse condition than it found us. And because the driver of the other car drove away, we kinda have no one to blame and no insurance to pay for the damage. We’re stuck. Right? I mean, that’s what it looks like. Right? Well, surprisingly, the accident has done a lot more than leave us in a crappy situation. It’s crazy but it’s kinda helping us to grow, guys! Weird right?! Who would’ve thought that I would even find positivity in such a traumatic event. Here are some of the lessons I’m learning:1. Our passengers (yep, there were passengers!) made it out alive. And judging by the state of the car, even the paramedics were shocked that not one of us spilt blood, on that night. It had been raining that night and one chatty paramedic told me about the other accident scenes he attended to, before ours. There were fatalities at the other scenes. If ever we needed proof that the protection of God is on our lives, this accident was it! One of our passengers should have broken her back. She’s fine. That’s God. I’m so thankful for His faithfulness.
2. I was totally dumb and did not have my seat belt secured. If my husband had not looked in the rear view mirror, yanking me towards him, before the cab hit, I probably would have slammed right through the windscreen. In fact, the impact was so severe that I was found upside down in the car afterwards. I’m so thankful to be alive! For days, after the accident I would wake up sobbing simply because I get to spend another day with my kids. Life is short. I’m thankful for my life.
3. My kids were not in the car. You guys, I can’t imagine the trauma, had my small kids been in the car. I don’t want to even go there. I’m thankful.
4. Even though we’re without a car right now, we know it won’t be a forever situation. We’ve been so blessed by friends and family members who ride us around with pleasure! I know it can be a burden sometimes (try finding a ride to church when you’re a family of six) and it sucks to have to ask. But I do believe that God is stretching us and building character. I’m thankful that He allows things like this because He knows it’s going to grow us.
5. We’ve been Ubering around a lot and we often find ourselves striking up conversation with the Uber drivers. Some of them offer up their life stories freely and I’m always so amazed at how many broken lives there are out there… people who are desperate to make ends meet for their families, and those who feel that there is no hope and they’ll take what they can get. Without getting too “preachy” we offer them a word of encouragement and hopefully leave them in a better head space than what we found them. I’m thankful that when God wants to move, He isn’t limited to how many cars I have.6. We spend a lot more time indoors now (because, duh, no car to go anywhere). Hello family time! I love being at home a lot more than I love not being at home, so it’s a win for me, on all fronts. We believe that Chris’s back injury will be healed and he’ll be hopping around on stage again in the near future. He had to take leave from work to rest his back and although it troubled him to be away from his desk for so long, I actually think the break did him good. I’m thankful for rest and for our home.
7. I remember laying in the hospital bed, post-accident. Chris was taken to a different hospital. My phone was off and I was instructed to not move, until they were able to do a full body X-ray. I lay there for the longest time, every part of my spreadsheet brain screaming out that I needed to speak to my husband! I needed to phone my babysitter to find out if my kids are okay! I needed to hear my mother’s voice and check if our passengers are okay! Laying dead still, in a hospital bed, with no communication with the outside world drove me crazy! I guess I was pretty hysterical because I found myself pleading with God “please let me see my family again! I want to see my family again!” I don’t know, for some reason (probably the blow to my head) I felt that I would never see them again. In those moments I realized how much I love my crazy family and my even crazier husband. I realized how blessed I am and how I would do anything to have to clean my house again or change Jojo’s nappy again or wash Kyle’s socks again. Guys, I’m so thankful for my family.
The biggest lesson we’re learning, by accident, because of this accident, is that trusting on our own understanding is morbid. If we had to look at our current situation, with human eyes, it would probably depress us. But the beauty of leaning on God is that you don’t allow the physical circumstance to determine how you’re going to feel today or what you’re planning for tomorrow. His outcome for our lives is always for good. We’re so aware of His bigger plan and purpose. And that is the thing that I am most thankful for.
-
Confessions of a super woman
I sometimes cringe when people ask me how many children we have. I mean, you never know what their response will be once they find out that we parent and co-parent a collective of four kids.
I mean, when it comes to responses, we’ve heard it all. From the “don’t you guys own a TV” (do you know that co-parent means we didn’t physically birth four kids together?) to “yoh, you guys are crazy!” (Thanks)
Most of them shake their heads in disbelief (because it’s like, sooo shocking, and stuff) and say “wow, that’s a lot!” I guess they’re referring to the fact that they don’t know where we get the time, energy and money from to rear four children.
“How do you do it?!” They’d ask, with big eyes. And my response would probably always be a shoulder shrug followed by “I don’t know either” or “must be the Lord!”
Now, I know that most people mean well and probably can’t help for their reaction. This post is not about that.
This post is about their replies when I say I don’t know how I do it. They would then usually tell me that we make it look easy and we’re so blessed and that I’m such a super woman and we are great parents and all of that.
And it’s ’round about this time that my eyes glaze over and I begin to hear montage music, as replays of my life flash before me.
Sorry, I’m not trying to insinuate that their kind words are insincere. It’s just that most days, I don’t feel like a super woman and I find it hilarious when people say that we make it look easy. I mean, hilarious in a non-funny way. Because it’s not. It’s NOT EASY.
It’s not easy being the parent of two small kids under the age of 5, while co-parenting two other kids who are nearing adulthood at an alarming pace. It can be heavy, emotionally (especially the co-parenting gig) and yep, co-parenting means we don’t have the full responsibility of raising the kid, but it doesn’t make it any easier yo.
It’s not easy when you have to make sure you’re distributing love evenly and consistently, to all kids, even though one of them does not live with us and two of them don’t even refer to us as “mom” and “dad”.
It’s not easy when you literally don’t have time for each other. Like, I’m not just saying so because it’s a cool thing to say on a blog. The last time I even sat next to my husband was probably at the doctor’s surgery a few weeks ago. No jokes.And guys, try raising a 2 year old and a 4 year old without the help of screen time and copious amounts of mini cheddars, while having a successful career of sorts and a clean house. Not easy! (Yes, I’m raising processed food eating hermits. Somebody call Oprah.)
It takes a lot of balance and planning and pre-planning, when it comes to working out school fees and food and clothes and extra-mural activities and how to get everyone from point A to point B and to still find time for yourself in the middle of it all.
But more than that, it can be challenging to not lose yourself, in the mix. I often have to remind myself of the point of it all… that this story is bigger than me and my ego and how I feel.
So when people refer to me as a super woman, I can’t help but want to point out all the ways that I feel like I’m failing as a mother and wife, daily. The term “super woman” feels like a fraudulent statement… as if they’re only seeing the shiny side of the coin. And I wonder if my positive outlook on life falsely advertises a challenging lifestyle by, you know, passing it off as easy, doable and without trial.
Can you successfully rear a big family, in this day and age? Sure you can! Are you able to raise well-balanced kids even though half of them did not originate from both you and your husband’s loins? Yep, that’s a definite!
But I don’t want to be the one, out here, selling false hopes and pipe dreams. It’s not easy and I’m not a super woman. We are not super, duper people who can do no wrong on the parenting front. In fact, we’re just ordinary people (I know, John Legend should pay me royalties for pimping his song this much). And we would be a hot mess without our faith and our constant drive to live our lives on purpose, with purpose.
So there you have it. How do we do it? Well, the truth is that we’re not the ones “doing it”… and that’s why it works. Like, honestly you guys, if I didn’t have Jesus as my firm foundation, I would probably be in a mental asylum right now (or still partying my life away, in a mini skirt and hooker heels).
Through all of the dips and peaks of parenting our brood, I’ve found myself clinging to God, because honestly, He is my only constant. People fail you and hurt you and make living life even harder than it should be. Things fall apart, you guys. Tomorrow is not promised. Success (or our perceived version of it) is fleeting. But God’s promises for us are timeless, never changing and faithful. It’s the only surety we have. Clinging to the rock that is higher than I is the only way I know to survive.
And that’s how I do it.
-
Single versus Married: the big regret
I have a beautiful, single friend who despises being single. She regrets not settling down sooner and often pines for a baby and is on that dating scene, hoping to meet her future husband and best friend. I’m the one sitting next to her, encouraging her to enjoy this season, saying things like, “Girl, you can literally do anything you want right now!” I mean, the last time I could do anything I wanted to, was maybe that half an hour before the kids wake up on a blue Monday morning. To a single person, being single feels like a burden. But to those of us who are followed around by a small army daily, it sounds like a dream, right?
Well, the other day, while staring at a pile of washing that needed to be folded (and by staring, I do mean glaring menacingly) I suddenly had a thought: where would I be today, if I had I not gotten married? I mean, before I met Chris, I had been rocking single motherhood (self proclaimed rocking) – doing life with my baby boy and crushing it.
If I had remained single, with Kyle finishing high school this year, the world would literally have been our oyster! But alas, I chose marriage and guys, with the addition of each child, life got a lot more messier, crazier and busier.
So I found myself staring into space like a Forester, and reminiscing on a time when life was easier, wondering if I would have been a super star by now if I had chosen to remain single. (We dream these dreams, let’s not even front.)
Would I have been less tired? More in shape? Maybe. On a different career path? Probably. Heck, maybe this blog would not have been in existence. And I definitely wouldn’t be folding copious amounts of laundry each week, that’s for sure.
But would a life of simplicity and freedom have been enough for me?
Now, yes, I am aware that these thoughts were merrily a distraction to avoid the actual folding of the laundry. (Same like when I sit on the couch and plan what I’ll do with my millions one day, when I’m suppose to be cleaning the kitchen). But it was a great moment to sit and reflect on the seasons of life.The thing about choosing marriage and all that comes with it is that you kinda have to accept the sacrifice of parenthood and the unselfishness of being married and staying married. Maybe things would have been a lot easier if I had just said no to all the responsibility and sacrifice that came with the ring when Chris popped the question.
But my single friend, and her deep regret, reminded me of this thing about seasons and how there is beauty and necessity in every season of our lives.
Life is ever changing, ever evolving. And as we grow, our needs and desires shift and change. For some of us, that may mean that we rock our singledom for a longer period (or indefinitely) and have a whole bunch of other things to focus our time on. And that’s okay.
And for others, like me, it may mean that we’ve had our taste of being single (and “free”, as the term may imply) and that we don’t regret a thing. I mean, I wouldn’t trade my new life for that freedom if it means going without tiny arms wrapped around my legs, as I try to cook. Maybe freedom looks a little bit different to me now?
So, in retrospect, if you had to ask me which one is better, being single or being married, I guess I can’t really choose which one of these is the best thing.
My couch sitting and laundry glaring brought me to the conclusion that none of it is… well, none of it is the best thing, I mean. Because, I guess you’re only ever happy when you embrace the moment you’re in right now, instead of pining away for something else.
So I guess embracing your season, is the best thing.
-
10 ways to be lekker in life
Since it’s about a month away from my birthday, and I am, you know, turning a whole year older and all of that, I find myself contemplating life and growth and how to be a better person without having to stop binge watching The Voice UK. And a few things came to mind … you know, things that some would call common sense. I call the list “10 ways to be lekker”… because being a crappy person is so out of season and no one wants to walk around feeling like you’re invincible when everyone else is wondering why you look like you need a hug and a Coke. Here’s a list of things I remind myself everyday:
1. Don’t be that person who tries to debate with someone on a Facebook post or in a Whatsapp chat. Like, seriously, the other person is not sitting there with bated breathe, hoping you’re going to say something that will change their minds. They can’t hear your tone or context. They cannot see your facial expression. In some cases they probably don’t even read your extra long essays. (I know I don’t.) So the debate usually ends up being a waste of time and brain power. Arguing with someone on Facebook is such a time suck because people are usually in it for the long haul! They are rife for the debate and they WILL NOT STOP until you do. Be lekker, don’t be a troll.
2. If people have ish going on, and you know about it, you don’t have to do anything because guess what, Winona Rider, their information is not yours to steal and share without their permission! I’m sure we’re all pretty over the village gossip who finds joy in sharing about other people’s challenges and pains. And yes, telling your mother/sister/family member under the guise of “ag shame” still makes it gossip. Be lekker man, Winona, don’t be a gossip.
3. How about let’s not take our issues to social media, and make subliminal status updates about it. Well, this is something I remind myself often. Stay classy. Don’t air your arguments where the world can see them. It’s the year of the mature adult conversation. You know, saying things like “I feel this way when you do that” face to face, instead of posting something putrid about someone, without really naming them. Be lekker, don’t be a subliminal update poster.
4. And while we’re on the topic, you don’t have to like everything that everyone says. I often remind myself that everyone has their own opinions and different ways of doing things and hey, Martha Stewart, guess what, THAT’S OKAY. If we all had to be a carbon copy of you, this world would be very bland. No offense. Be lekker, don’t be a robot.
5. Stop re-sharing fake news in your Whatsapp groups and on social media. It’s not kwaai man! I mean, you’re spreading mass hysteria, and you can’t even prove that it’s right. Can we leave that type of news sharing to, you know, the actual newspaper? Be lekker, don’t be dramatic.
6. Don’t assume that everything is always about you. Man, the way I’m tired of people reading something and thinking that it’s shade thrown at them. And I’m not immune, yo! I do this too! Its so not lekker. Like, what if your friend Maggie simply felt like posting a mullet hairstyle meme. What if Maggie did not even think about you and your mullet, while posting the meme. What if, and let this one sink in, the world did not revolve around you?! Be lekker, don’t be a narcissist.7. Stop being the friend/family member who encourages someone else to player hate. If your friend is out of line or being unreasonable, say the thing! I mean, we’ve all been there – we know exactly how hurt and anger can turn a mole hill into a mountain. True friendship does not mean agreeing with everything your friend believes. I want my friends to lovingly correct me if I’m wrong. Why would you willingly want your friend to make wrong decisions?! Be lekker, don’t be a bad friend.
8. If you see someone else doing really well in their field of interest, tell them they are doing a good job man. I mean, congratulate them instead of talking them down to your family and your friends at the office and your neighbours uncle. I get it, maybe selling bicycles online is not your thing. That’s okay. But if Patricia is doing well with her online bicycle sales, then more power to her and her success! You don’t understand online bicycle sales, that’s why you’re selling carpets. Be lekker, don’t be a hater.
9. Perception is a BIG word (and I’m not just saying so because I struggled to spell it for a minute). I mean, your perception of someone else can totally influence how you respond to them. Sometimes you need to take a minute to remember that (que John Legend) “we’re just ordinary people!” We’re all on a journey and we respond to things differently. I cannot control the next person. I am only in control of myself and my responses. So just be lekker, don’t be unreasonable.
10. And lastly (this one is for free), if you ever find yourself offended for some absurd reason, justifying your silly offense with silly reasoning, instead of name calling and insulting someone else, rather take a selah moment. Say a prayer. Stay classy. Look yourself in the mirror and say: Hey, be lekker man, don’t be offended for stupid things. Life is too short and there are way better things to be concerned about!
So these are the sweet, sweeet reminders when I feel like I need to remember the point of it all (especially now, in my old age, right?) At the end of the day, being lekker is the opposite of being miserable, difficult to get along with, and bitter. And we all know which one we’d rather be.
-
Living with teenagers can be annoying!
If you’re the parent of a small kid, or, in my case, a gang of small kids, and you’re thinking that your life is “woes” right now, allow me to bring some clarity to the situation. This level of “woesness” is nothing compared to when your tiny angels are full grown adults, who have opinions of their own.
(Disclaimer, if you’ve come here for advice, move along Jackie. But if you’re looking for a kindred heart who has had to stop herself from, you know, throwing shoes and cutlery at her grown son, then welcome friend! This post is for us.)
No one makes me as angry as my 17 year old son does. His newly developed sense of self annoys me. There, I said it. And the thing is this parents, I shouldn’t be annoyed. I should be nurturing, supportive, helpful. But nope, I find myself super annoyed every single day. And hey, I own it. I’m the one being annoyed. He’s the one simply being a teenage boy. So I’m not saying I’m right. But I am saying that… heck yeah, I’m annoyed!
Well, for starters, I’m annoyed at his decision making skills (or lack thereof), at his endless “Mom, can I” requests, at his demanding nature when he feels that he is entitled to something.
I’m annoyed at how opinionated he is… teenagers believe that they are experts in every field. They are also not open to reason or new ideas. My son, in particular, believes that he knows it all! He loves a good debate and I can flip my biscuit lid when he tries to get into it with me!
He has no filter and will say exactly what he is feeling/thinking, which irks me! And guys, be warned: this new generation of teen knows about freedom of speech and believe that they can practice this in the comfort of their homes!
I’m super annoyed when he does his own thing, even after I have
given instructionoffered advice. Worse than that is when he disagrees with me silently, but then goes along with what I’ve asked him to do, with a grudge on his shoulder, mumbling his discontentment under his breath. Or when he responds to my requests with a question, as if we’re on Felicia Mabuza-Suttle and he’s interviewing me. “Are we seriously going to do this right now?” and “So you really want me to do this now?”The typical teenage lack of urgency and consideration annoys me like nobody’s business! We can be running late for work/school, and the kid will continue to move at snail pace, as if nothing in the world matters except how he perfectly executes the application of his school shoe. Like, seriously, catch a wake up!
But more than all of this, I’m annoyed that he is growing up and becoming his own person. I don’t like this… not one bit!
I guess a lot of the annoyance comes from the fact that I can’t “control” him anymore… well, not like you would a younger child who still relies on you for everything. He doesn’t rely on me for everything. And soon (once he’s out of the house, with a fam of his own) he might not rely on me for anything, at all! And that annoys the living daylights out of me and I don’t know how to make it stop.
The truth is, I love this annoying teenage child of mine so much. He’s the one who graduated me into mommydom when I was still a teen myself. He was my “ride or die” when I was a single mother, trying to make ends meet (like a Julia Roberts movie). He’s the one I first dreamed big dreams for and the kid that I put my whole life aside for, as I tried to navigate the choppy waters of young adulthood. And now he is almost an adult too. And I’m annoyed.
Is it irrational? Probably. Should I know better? Yep. Can I be a better parent? Always. Reminding myself that I’m actually raising someones dad, husband, boss, friend, helps me to remember how important this season is and how much influence I have, even though he pretends that he doesn’t care what I have to say. So for now, I say a prayer, swallow my annoyance and try to be the adult that I want him to grow into.
And yes, I guess that means no throwing shoes at him. Dammit.
-
Practical Valentine’s gift Ideas for the spreadsheet brain
So I have a spreadsheet brain (but you guys already knew this) and because of my spreadsheet brain, I simply cannot allow my husband to spend copious amounts of money on flowers and chocolates, when February 14th hits. I mean, when he does, I totally appreciate it. But the spreadsheet half of my heart is busy calculating exactly how much he spent and what we could use the money on (I know, it’s bad, this is not me bragging, yo).
Anyways, in light of my spreadsheet brain and Valentine’s Day and you know, buying flowers and chocolates, I thought to put together a list of practical Valentine’s gift ideas, for those of you who are just like me (yep, semi-looney). Here are my findings:
Diamonds and Pearls
They say that diamonds are a girls best friend. Which may be accurate if you’re that kind of girl. I’m not that kind of girl (spreadsheet brain calculations and all of that). But I do love me some pretty and sentimental jewelry! I love receiving well thought out gifts like mood rings, lockets and bracelets. When my Hubstopher finds something that reminds him of me, regardless of price, I immediately love it!
Spa Day
Trust me guys, if you’re looking to find the perfect Valentine’s gift, a day at the spa will probably give you serious brownie points. I actually booked a spa day a few months ago, when I wanted to spoil Chris for his birthday. He loved it! Men love a good pamper too, yo! And most of the spa’s have romantic couple’s treatments that will have you feeling super relaxed and super, you know, in love all at the same time. Winning.Make My Life Easier
If you really want to creep into my mama heart, you’d get me gift vouchers for those every day spoils that I can’t afford. You know, things like a cleaning service (someone else cleaning my house… heck yeah!) or a laundromat (because folding laundry is the spawn of evil). What about a dinner box subscription, where meals are sent to your door every week? Ooh or even a pamper voucher, for nails and hair. Those are the types of things that I would never dream to spend money on (because many kids, remember?).
Sweet smells
The idea of opening a gift filled with perfumes and sweet smell makers totally makes me feel like love is in the air, yo! And if you’re sentimental like I am, you’d probably keep the perfume bottle until you’re old and grey with a whole vanity filled with empty bottles. We’re our own special kind of crazy. But yes, a perfume set, filled with your loved ones favorite scent, is a definite winner!Shoes and Bags
Men, women love shoes and bags. That’s that. Need I say more? (Clip note: if you’re unsure of the type style she may be into, enlist the help of a friend or sister who can point you in the right direction!) In my opinion, a practical gift like this will make me squeal a whole lot more than a box of chocolates, yo.
Practical Extras
I’m a fiend over things like notebooks, cute mugs, travel mugs, stationary sets and decorative desk stuff. Yeah, I have a Typo and Cum Books in my head… along with the spreadsheet brain. It’s pretty crowded up there. My point is that if your loved one is into this sort of thing, there are a range of amazing goodies at these stores, and they are quite affordable too! Cum Books is one of my faves and I love their range of Valentine’s “Love” inspired mugs and notebooks (pictured above).So there you have it fam. Which of these are a winner, in your eyes? Hit the share button below and tag your special someone if you’re wanting to drop a hint!
-
Don’t let bad breath ruin Valentine’s Day {Giveaway!}
Did you know that February is Relationship Month AND National Fresh Breath Month all at the same time? Coincidence, I don’t think so! I mean, oral healthcare goes hand in hand with, you know, intimacy. Experts actually recommend that you have an effective daily oral care routine… its the best way to keep your mouth healthy, breath fresh and your pearly whites in tip top condition for Valentine’s month.
Sunstar GUM has developed the best tools to help you do just that! They recently sent me a #FreshBreathPower kit to try out. It’s filled with a bunch of seriously cool (I mean, like, James Bond cool) gadgets and product that helps you to ensure that your oral care routine is, well, effective.
If you’re unsure of what “an effective oral care routine” entails, Ivohealth’s Oral Hygiene Advisor, Dirna Grobbelaar explains – in four simple steps:
- Brush correctly twice a day for two minutes each time.
- Floss or clean in-between every day with whatever interdental tool suits you best.
- Remove plaque and food debris from the surface of your tongue by gently scraping the tongue once a day using a GUM Tongue Cleaner.
- For added fresh breath confidence rinse with an alcohol-free mouthwash like GUM Original White rinse.
The Sunstar GUM tongue cleaner is, by far, one of my favorite oral care gizmos. The soft bristles helps to dislodge plaque and debris from the tiny grooves on the surface of the tongue. The serrated edge of the tongue cleaner can be used to gently scrape from the back of the tongue to front. For extra fresh breath confidence, complete your oral care routine by rinsing and gargling with alcohol-free GUM Original White or Dentyl Dual Action mouthwash.
Win a Sunstar GUM #FreshBreathPower kit valued at over R680!To celebrate the month of love, Sunstar GUM wants to gift one of you with a lovely #FreshBreathPower kit! Want one? Sure you do.
You can enter by dropping me a comment on Instagram or the blog, letting me know how you plan to use the #FreshBreathPower kit to spruce up your Valentine’s month.
1.Enter via Instagram by commenting on this specially marked post. (Tag a friend, to let them in on the action)
2.Enter via the blog, by dropping a comment below.
You can enter on both the blog AND Instagram, to double your chances! Giveaway only open to South African residents. Winner will be announced next Wednesday, 13 February.
Competition closed. Winner: Faziela Prantice!
-
The house with many rooms
When I was in my early 20’s, my granny (my mom’s mom), had a “death bed” dream about me. She was sick, in hospital, and during one of our more quiet, melancholy visits, she whispered to me that she needed to tell me about a dream she had the night before. I know it sounds dramatic, but the dream was actually really beautiful and at the time, I was just so honored that out of all the many grandchildren, she would have a dream about little old me, during such a pivotal time in her life.
In this dream, she saw me living in a house with many rooms. And each room was filled with beds – lined up in a row “like a hospital or hotel” she said. She urged me to take note of this dream and the knowing in her eyes spoke words that she could not express. She passed away a few days thereafter.
At the time, I wasn’t very aware about how prophetic and telling detailed dreams could be. I didn’t know the story of Joseph (in the Bible) and other people like him, who received messages from God through dreams. And even now, I can’t prove to you that God spoke to my granny, on her death bed, showing her things that He was trying to tell me.
But, strangely, I keep having similar dreams. Even on days when my granny’s dream is the furthest thing from my mind.
Dreams of my house with many rooms. Dreams of me visiting a house with many rooms. And, more than that, dreams of all the beds… one in every nook and cranny… of each room. What really brought it to my attention was when other people started having similar dreams about me.
Now some would think that this means that I might own a hotel or Bed and Breakfast one day. You know, something along those lines. Something that makes sense. But, in my latter years (love how I’m calling my late thirties my latter years… the drama, yo) I’ve now come to think of it as something else.
For starters, ever since we’ve been married (it’s been five years, you guys, so long, so hard, so burdensome. Jokes.) we’ve probably had a border living with us, for every one of those five years. Mind you, I think the longest stay has been about six months and we never really demanded them to pay part of the rental or anything like that (although, duh, they would offer to pay for certain amenities, because life, and we expect you to help out around the house atleast). Anyways, now that I come to think about it, each year, we’ve shared our space (and offered up a bed) to someone who needed it.
This was not planned at all. In fact, every single house guest “moved in” on a short term basis and ended up staying for a few months. And I’m not saying that I’m, you know, the Martha Stewart of hosts, with freshly pressed towels, home cooked breakfasts and mints on their pillows. I’m actually quite the opposite. We have schedules and commitments and children (many children), so looking after a whole other adult is not up there on my list of things to do.And more than that, I’m not one to share my space. I’m an introverted extrovert (hey, I’m making that a thing, okay!) and as much as I enjoy people, I also enjoy being able to retract into my personal space, like a hobbit, shutting myself off from the world.
Having someone else in your space makes this kinda hard.
But thinking about all of this (literally, I was just thinking about this) it makes me wonder: Could this be the “house with many rooms” that my granny, and countless others, saw in their dreams? Could it be that the “house with many rooms” refers to our heart space, more than a physical space?
It just reminded me about comfort zones. I love my comfort zones… my “single life” privacy, peace and quiet definitely was a comfort zone. But, was I really thriving? Are you really living your best life, when you play it safe? And am I really doing well, when all I want to do, is to surround myself with the “easy”?
Each time we said yes to a house guest I was way out of my comfort zone. I mean, the idea of helping someone thrilled me. The idea of sharing space annoyed me eventually but deep down I knew that it was something that I had to say yes to.
I often wonder if that was God, nudging me in the right direction. He uses these “out of my comfort zone” things to equip us, build us and train us up for our next big adventure. Maybe God wanted me to learn how to have an open heart, without being concerned about how much of myself I’m giving. Maybe he wanted me to let people in – especially when I don’t want to. Maybe he wanted me to expand the corners of my heart, so that it could fit more people in.
In a funny turn of events, I now live in a crazy house, full of kids. And we would eventually like to add more children to our growing brood. Out of my comfort zone? Heck yes! I often crave the peace and silence that living alone brings. I probably won’t get that back for a very long time. But I’m okay with that now. I love my children and I can’t imagine living in peace and silence, if it would mean being without them.
Maybe this is my “house with many rooms”. And maybe God has been stretching me, in preparation for it, all along.
-
Five things husbands do that drive their wives crazy
According to my lady friends, if this were a wildlife program, and I had to point you guys in the direction of a husband “in his natural environment”, I might just be showing you the way to the loo.
My conspiracy theory is that they use the confines of the lavatory to, you know, hide away from their families. Or perhaps there is a portal in there? One that helps them to escape into the magical world of unlimited sport, gaming videos and other such marital witchcraft. Who knows.
But it got me thinking about this strange phenomena called “husband” and all the random things he does that I just don’t understand! You know, things like:
1. He can never find anything! I mean, even if it’s right there, on the 2nd shelf, where I had told him to look. He can’t find it. I call it “marital blinkers” and I’m convinced a set of these automatically grows onto husband’s face, as soon as he says “I do.” He can also never remember where we keep anything… the paper towels, the kids swimming clothes, the light bulbs. It’s the same place we’ve kept them for five years. But he never remembers.
2. His kiddies fashion style is putrid. Asking your husband to dress the kids, without – gasp! – actually laying the clothes out before the time, is a bit like playing fashion Russian Roulette. You never know what you’re going to end up with. My husband once brought Kyle to my work and the kid was wearing a shocking yellow t-shirt, a shocking pink shorts and shocking blue sneakers. I was almost blinded. Husbands and kids fashion is not a good mix, you guys.
3. He is able to slip into his “nothing box” in an instant and he won’t even admit that he was there. You know what the nothing box is, right? It’s that mental space that husband’s venture into, where they don’t hear a word you’re saying. Sometimes they slip into this box, while staring at the TV screen. Other times they actually fall asleep in mid-sentence, while you’re having a deep convo, because the allure of the nothing box is that strong. And when you accuse them of not paying attention, their response is: “I AM listening!”
4. He has this weird inability to multitask that grates my nerves like nobodies business, you guys! Like, he can’t bath the kids and consciously make an effort to keep the bathroom tidy, while doing so. Making a sandwich and then packing all the sandwich-making goodies away as he is doing it, is an impossible suggestion! Nope, he needs to make the sandwich. Eat the sandwich. Then clean up an hour later. Him: chilling. Me: Losing my mind.
5. When he’s sick, nothing else matters in the whole world, except for the fact that he is sick. The man-flu is a real thing. Quite frankly, ladies, I don’t know how we survive it! I don’t know about yours, but when my husband is sick, he literally lays in bed and moans, like a dying person. He pretty much expects me to wipe his forehead with a damp cloth, while feeding him chicken soup.
Truth be told, you guys, the list of things that I love about this man far outweighs the list of things that annoy me. They say men are from Mars and women are from Venus, which is just a clever way to remind us that, yep, we ARE different. But our quirky little differences is what makes our marriage interesting. Right?
Can you relate to any of this? What are some of the strange/annoying things that your husband does?
