Parenting
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Creating criminals: How smartphone smart is your child?
I’m totally not hating on the fact that a tablet or cellphone screen can get my kids to leave me alone for a few minutes. I mean, come on, let’s be honest, we need our space (and a hot second to wash the dishes) right? And anyways, my 13 year old can’t get into much trouble online, right? Wrong. The truth is that the new generation of online sexual predator looks a lot like your kid. And as cool and trendy as social media is, you have to question whether it is creating a criminal right under your roof. (Perhaps one who is probably unaware of just how much trouble their actions can get them in.) Which brings me to this question: How smartphone smart is your child?
I sat through a very interesting talk by Social Media Law guru, Emma Sadleir (you may have heard her on 5FM yes) who shared that children has young as 11 years old are now sexting. With access to hardcore pornography (when the pop up banner innocently prompts “click here for fun”, guess what your 7 year old is going to do) our children are seeing things that are way beyond their maturity level and emotional capacity. And once the brain absorbs, it remembers.
Our kids are taking nude pics of themselves, you guys. Emma says that nudes are the latest currency amongst children (some as young as 9 years old) and these images are then sent through to friends and boyfriends/girlfriends under the guise that it will be deleted afterwards. What your little boy does not realize is that once it has been posted or sent, you can’t take it back! Kids are pretty savage now a days and if they find something amusing or shocking, the chances of it being kept under wraps is slim to none. Content follows your child. And guess what parents, it’s YOUR responsibility to make sure that they are aware of the permanence of the internet. Once its out, it’s out.
What we need to teach our children about the internet:
1. You are responsible for the content you create. And guess what, even if you like, retweet or share content, but did not create it, you are associating yourself with it and it can therefore be used against you in a court of law.
2. Sending and soliciting sexual images from an underaged child (even if you are underaged too) makes you a sexual predator! That’s right, it is illegal to get your buddy to send you a pic of his genitals as a joke. It is also illegal to share images of other people, in a compromised position, without their permission.
3. Your child’s school Code of Conduct applies to social media too, even if the images or content your child publishes does not have the school logo or name on it. In fact, the school can strip you of titles and even have you expelled, if they feel that you are bringing the school’s name to disrepute. Taking pics when you are doing something illegal or against the school’s code of conduct can be held against you.
4. Planning to go for a job interview one day? Your employer might Google you for your “online CV” – keep your social media profiles clean!
5. Bullying and cyberbulling is a criminal offence. Children over the age of 14 is considered to have full criminal capacity, in South Africa, which means they can receive jail time!
6. Make sure your location services are switched off! Never ever share sensitive information online!
7. If a friend or boyfriend/girlfriend asks for nudes you have the RIGHT to say NO. You don’t have to explain yourself to this person. If they refuse to accept no for an answer, tell someone.
8. If you are in a Whatsapp group where nudes or illegal behaviour is being shared, get out of the group immediately.
9. If you feel uncomfortable at any time, tell someone.
10. If you would not be comfortable sharing it on a huge billboard in the middle of the city, don’t share it on social media!There is so much to share on this topic. I will be continuing the conversation in a few days, but for now, please use this information to make sure that your child is cyber smart. The more you look after your child’s privacy, the more privacy they will have to look after.
Check out more about Emma on The Digital Law Co website.
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How serious is nappy rash?
We all know that looking after your baby’s skin is important. I mean, you don’t need a rocket scientist to tell you that the skin in the nappy area is the most vulnerable. Sadly, a nappy rash gone out of control can turn deadly, due to hostile bacteria that can affect baby’s health. Scary, right? I mean, it’s just a nappy rash! But pioneer, Doctor Carol Hlela, who is a pediatric dermatologist and a leader in providing quality skin care, for babies in South Africa, shared some interesting tips and information at the JOHNSON’S® Baby Health wet wipes masterclass last week. JOHNSON’S Baby invited myself and a few others to Johannesburg to learn more about baby skin health and I need to let you guys in on it!
The masterclass was hosted by stunning Elana Afrika-Bredenkamp, who facilitated a great discussion regarding baby skin health, alongside the very impressive Professor Carol Hlela and JOHNSON’S® Baby Portfolio Manager, Jacquelyn Paterson.
Dr Hlela shared testimony of babies who have suffered trauma and have lost their lives due to poorly managed skin health. In all honesty, a story like this may not happen to a baby in your circle or my circle, but the truth is, it IS happening! The poor socio-economic conditions, in certain parts of South Africa, make it more difficult for mother’s to properly look after their baby’s skin. And a seemingly annoying nappy rash can get out of control, letting in bacteria that can impact negatively on the child’s health.Why is healthy skin important?
Well Dr Hlela says that the skin serves as a protective barrier that prevents infections, water loss and the penetration of irritants and allergens. Besides for baby skin being up to 3 times thinner than an adult’s, it also loses moisture 5 times faster. The first few month’s of a baby’s life is crucial – so you want to make sure that they are protected from germs and bacteria. Cracked skin allows germs to pass through more easily.How can I keep baby’s nappy area healthy?
Dr Hlela introduced us to the ABCDE steps to protecting the delicate skin barrier of a baby:A – Air: Exposing the area to fresh air frequently and for as long as possible
B – Barrier: Using a barrier cream that provides lipid film to protect against irritants such as urine and stool
C – Cleansing: Making sure to cleanse the area with a baby wipe at each nappy change
D – Diaper: Using super absorbent diapers, changing baby frequently
E – Educate: Educating other moms and care givers to follow the proper nappy hygiene skin care practices
Okay, so what’s the big deal about wet wipes?
You guys, have you ever visited the baby aisle and felt overwhelmed at the vast array of wet wipes available? How do you even know which one to choose?! Well here are a bunch of factors to consider when choosing baby wipes and skin care products:- Make sure the type of fabric used for the wipes is 100% cotton. This will ensure that it is soft for the skin and reduces friction.
- Check if it has gentle emollients to protect skin from damage caused by frequent cleansing.
- Even water has a higher pH level than that of baby skin, sometimes causing dryness. Look for a wipe that is as close as possible to baby’s natural pH level which is around 5.5.
- Mildly fragranced wipes are okay, fragrance-free is better. Not all fragrance is skin appropriate.
- Educate yourself! Read the ingredients! Avoid strong chemicals such as alcohol, soap, triclosan and even essential oils (which can be an irritant),
Why JOHNSON’S®?
I love that JOHNSON’S®Baby takes baby’s skin seriously. All the JOHNSON’S®Baby products are hypoallergenic, dermatologist-tested and paraben-free. They’ve even launched a JOHNSON’S®Baby Healthy Skin Project, in partnership with Unjani Clinics, in a bid to provide thousands of mothers and babies in impoverished areas with access to treatment.Unjani is a sustainable initiative that aims to strengthen health systems in low-income communities throughout South Africa. Dr Carol Hlela helps to educate Health Care Professionals in these communities about baby and skin health. Because of this amazing initiative, more mother’s are now made aware of ways to protect and care for their baby’s skin and JOHNSON’S® Baby even gifts them with product to help them do so.
Dr Hlela agrees that the JOHNSON’S® Two-Step Routine, to keep the skin barrier in the nappy area healthy, is the most effective way to keep your baby’s skin happy. The routine consists of:- Cleansing at nappy change time, using the JOHNSON’S® Baby Wipes. These wipes are made with 100% cotton and 97% pure water and is free of alcohol, soap and essential oils.
- Protecting baby’s skin in the nappy area using an emollient such as the JOHNSON’S® Baby Jelly which spreads easily and contains nourishing oils to soften the skin. Dr Hlela says that because baby has no hair follicles, the petroleum jelly does not “smother” the skin, but rather acts as a barrier.
You guys, have you heard about JOHNSON’S® Baby’s baby barrier cream? The AVEENO® Baby Daily Care Baby Barrier Cream is unscented and suitable for newborns. It’s formulated with colloidal oatmeal to actively soothe and reduce the redness of dry, delicate baby skin.
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Is it weird that I want to adopt?
Our family of six is pretty much complete, one would say. I mean, the recent addition of baby Jo came as a sweet bonus and when I held him in my arms – all soft and squishy – I immediately knew that my womb’s job here on earth was done. I had given birth to three beautiful children and was gifted the pleasure of being Seth’s step mommy. What more could I want? Well, I strangely do want more. Is it weird that I want to adopt? Is it totally loony toons that my heart does not feel as if it’s reached maximum capacity yet? I feel as if there’s another little child, somewhere out there, that needs me to be her mommy. Does that make me sound a tad bit psycho?
It’s okay, we’re all friends here, you can be honest with me. Hubstopher does not share the same sentiments that I do. And I get it – having kids is pretty darn expensive! Oh and let’s not talk about how we sleep sitting up sometimes. My tired is tired. It’s no easy feat parenting four kids. But somewhere, deep down in my heart of hearts (Where is that even? Narnia?) I feel as if there’s a little girl out there that belongs to me.
I know what you’re going to say… it’s hormones… I’m emotional… I’m just broody again etc. Maybe you’re right. I mean, I’ve been broody before. And although I can’t relate with someone who struggles with infertility (I’m as fertile as a turtle, you guys!) I kinda know what it feels like to want a baby so much that your heart aches. That’s how I felt right before I fell pregnant with Kari. But strangely, this time around, I’m not even contemplating housing another little one in my mommy-incubator. Like, that factory is closed, yo! Instead, the ache is a different one, it’s almost as if I’m waiting around for another little child… and I don’t even know if she’s coming.So I had a casual chat with a social worker and she confirmed everything that I already knew. Screenings are vigorous – they don’t just put a random child into a random family’s care all because you get the “feeling” that you should adopt. No lady, they need to check that you’re emotionally and mentally able to love and care for someone else’s child. Also, can you afford it? What’s your home situation like? How’s your marriage? Adopting sounds good on paper and makes for a really cool Disney movie. But the realities of it can be quite challenging.
Anyways, for now, I’m content with raising the gifts that God has given me. I mean, I’m not exactly filling in adoption forms. But I just thought to find out if any of you has ever felt this way and what you’ve done about it.
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Overwhelmed by motherhood
You’ve been there, I know. You’ve been overwhelmed by motherhood, wondering why on earth you ever signed up for this job. The perks are suppose to outweigh the cons, right? I mean, that’s what those soppy feel-good movies imply. And yet, I find myself, perk-less, knee deep in baby poo, day dreaming about the days when I took things like silence, long soaks in hot baths, and audience-less trips to the loo for granted.
I find myself longing for a clean house and a bank account that doesn’t point and laugh whenever I swipe for yet another tin of formula. I stare enviously at friends who have yet to learn just how much it sucks to pay school fees… friends who pack a simple carry-on for a visit to the beach… friends who are able to plan spontaneous trips to quirky little getaway spots, without wondering if there’ll be enough room for bags after installing the car seats.
And just when I’ve reached the end of my metaphorical mommy rope, something strange happens.
My baby boy giggles while I’m giving him a bath. And it’s the most adorable sound I’ve ever heard in my whole entire life! My little girl runs in with a flower and says “for you mama, you’re so pweddy!” and I want to pick her up and squeeze her so tight that she never ever leaves my side ever again! My sons tell me about their future goals and the pride beaming from my chest is enough to make me feel as if I’m the richest person in the world!
And as I watch my children play peek-a-boo together, laughing at each other’s silliness, I realize that this very moment – and others just like it – far outweigh the biggest sacrifices I’ve ever made for them.
Suddenly I want to hold on to them a little bit longer. Snuggle as much as I can, and color-in as many Barbie pages as she needs me to. I want to have those endless conversations about soccer until my brain pops and go on all fours to race after my baby boy just to hear him laugh. I want to dedicate every waking moment of my day to watching them grow and savor this time where they need me so very much. Because once it’s gone, all I’ll have left of their childhood are these sweet memories.
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How much do you spend on your childs birthday party?
I think it’s ridiculous to spend thousands of rands on a kids birthday party. There I said it. *hides away* Hello? Is it safe to come out now, after dropping that bomb? I know, it’s not a popular thought but guys, the extent that some go through to throw that designer kiddies party is just plain crazy man! Moms, be honest: How much do you spend on your childs birthday party?
Hundreds? Thousands? I mean, it is a bit loopy, don’t you think? Because those thousands could possibly have covered a pretty birthday cake, bought your kid a really legit gift and you’d have cash to spare which you could put away towards their education. The difference is that you would not have had an audience to cater to. You might not have had quirky theme related serviettes or a party pack that would rival the snacks section at Woolworths.
Your “miniscule” celebration might not have had a professional photographer or designer cupcakes included in the budget. Or matchy-matchy decor. It might not have covered the costs of a fancy kiddies venue. But would your kid have enjoyed himself? Yes. Probably.
So why go through the motions of spending a crazy amount of money to host your kids party? Hey, don’t get me wrong, I’ve done it too. And a lot of fun was had by all (except my bank balance, that is.) I guess we do it because we love our little munchkins so much that we will do whatever it takes to ensure they have the BEST memories of their childhood. And hey, if you can afford it, then why not.But if you can’t… that’s okay too! In fact there are ways to be “extra” on a “basic” budget. Fancy doesn’t have to be expensive. But to be honest, all your kid needs is a couple of balloons strung up in your living room, a cake with candles on it, perhaps a hot dog and some ice cream and a bunch of friends to enjoy it with. Literally that is all it takes. All the other frills and bows are OUR doing, moms! We want those things. Essentially, you’re throwing a kiddies party for yourself, in honor of your kid. There, I said that too. If I had a mic I would drop it.
Like I said, I’m not immune to the “fancy birthday party” disease. I mean, I’m planning Kari’s party as I type this (literally my brain is buzzing with ideas) and her birthday is only in October. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not totally opposed to parties held at venues (because guests would then have to leave after two hours and I don’t have to clean my house, win-win) but I’m also not totally opposed to putting the money towards her college fund.
I know… what you spend your money on is none of my business. I get it. But please, humor me, I would love to hear your thoughts on this. How much money do you budget towards your kids birthday party? What’s the most you’ve spent? Do you have any birthday party budget tips? Please hit me up in the comments section below. But like, don’t physically “hit me up” because of this post. I’m fragile. And I have a birthday party to plan.Images: All the lovely pics in this post, of Kari’s first birthday cake smash, was taken by the talented Michelle of Cutepix Photography (she made the props by hand too!) Check out more in this post.
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Stuttering in toddlers: should I be concerned?
A couple of weeks ago Kari started stuttering. It came out of the blue, no warnings, and over a day or two the stutter was so severe that she gave up completing her sentences. “I can’t say it!” she would sigh, dramatically. (Always the diva) Freaked out? Why, yes, yes I most definitely was! I had read up about stuttering in toddlers a few years prior because Hubstopher also has a stutter and I wondered if it was genetic. I mean, I was prepared for it, but I wasn’t, if that makes sense. To see my 3-year old show symptoms of the speech impediment shook me!
We immediately brushed away the idea that this was learned behavior. I mean, Hubstopher’s stutter has simmered down to a slight stammer and he sometimes has whole conversations with out you even noticing his speech impediment. So it wasn’t likely that she was mimicking her daddy. And anways, his stammer was more syllable focused. Hers was pretty intense… she was stuttering whole words (not just syllables). What on earth could this be?!
Anyways, I did what any rational, modern mom would do. I asked Google. Look, I was prepared to take the kid to a speech therapist like, yesterday! Judging from the stories Hubstopher has shared about his struggle growing up with a stutter, it wasn’t something I was looking forward to seeing my daughter try to work through.
Guys, what I found on Google surprised me! For starters, Google literally told me to take a darn chill pill woman. Okay, maybe not literally, but that’s what I read between the lines.
Apparently stuttering is not uncommon in kids between the ages of two and five. Language dysfluency is basically a coping mechanism that occurs when little ones are learning to form words into sentences. The dysfluency usually manifests in word or phrase repetitions and, surprisingly, 5% of all children are likely to be disfluent at some time in their development.When kids feel rushed to speak, or they have a lot to say (but their brain is still catching up with what their mouths want to do), the stutter can occur. It’s also more evident when the child is excited, tired or stressed. The disfluency can come and go but it usually only sticks around for a short period of time. Experts say that if the stutter lasts for more than six months, you should then consider taking your kideo to a therapist. But wait it out. Educate yourself. Know what to look for and how to respond to the stutter.
There is some debate with regards to whether genetics play a role in stuttering. But we are confident that this is not our girl’s portion. In fact, the stuttering has since subsided and has been reduced to a stammer. Kyle has been a super sweet big brother, telling her to take a breath when she’s struggling to get a word out. It seems to be helping. We also try not to finish her sentences for her and of corse, we don’t show impatience towards her. We will be monitoring her for a few months to see if it worsens. But until then, it’s business as usual. Which means I get to listen to her endless Barbie bedtime stories. Yes, she tells ME a bedtime story.
Has your child ever showed signs of disfluency? Share your tips and advice in the comments section.
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Educating Your Kids About What They Eat
When it comes to teaching our children, it is not all just down to what they learn in school. Some of the most important lessons are the ones that we teach them at home, key life skills such as how to wash themselves, complete chores, and of course what to eat and how to cook it. Here are three top tips to educate your children and encourage them to get involved.
Make it part of your daily routine
Children learn best when things become a habit. So, from teaching them stain removal techniques such as how to remove ketchup from clothes when doing the laundry, to getting them to help pick out foods on your grocery list that will make up their meals, allow them to join in completing every day tasks. Each thing they do can be a learning tool to talk about where food comes from, what health benefits certain foods have, and how flavours and textures work together.
Take them to the source
Getting out and about is not only fun and good for your health, but it is also the perfect way to give your children an education in where their food comes from. Visiting local farms for example is great way to show them which animal is the source of the meat they eat, and shopping at a butcher’s shop as an alternative to a supermarket gives you the opportunity to talk about different cuts of meat.
Teach them easy recipes at home
Teaching our children about where their food comes from is the first step, next they need to know how to prepare it. Spending time together in the kitchen will both strengthen your bond with them and also teach them invaluable lessons that will benefit them once they leave home and have their own families to care for.
Here is a quick and easy recipe to help you get started with getting your children involved in the kitchen. Kids all love pasta!
Ingredients
Pasta of your choice
Olive oil
1 Large Onion
1 Can of chopped tomatoes
1 tsp tomato puree
1/2 tsp SaltMethod
1. Fry the onion in the oil, stirring often, until it turns pale brown.
2. Add the tomatoes, the puree and the salt. TOP TIP: Herbs such as basil add a great extra oomph to your sauce, while peppers can add the perfect crunch.
3. Cover the pan and simmer gently until your sauce is nicely thickened. TOP TIP: Adding a stock cube stirred in a little lukewarm water can help to thicken your sauce quicker.
4. While your sauce is thickening, prepare your pasta as normal.
5. Stir your pasta into your sauce and enjoy with a sprinkling of cheese on top!
If they get peckish for a snack, try this great sweet potato fries (that are actually baked) recipe! And in case of a mishap, I’ve got you covered on how to remove ketchup from clothes.
Ingredients
2 Sweet potatoes
Olive oil
Sea salt
Black pepper
Paprika
Garlic powder
Method
1. Start by chopping up the sweet potatoes lengthways into chips and soak in cold water for about an hour.
2. Remove the chips from the water and dry them in a cloth, then toss them into a baking tray and drizzle over with olive oil.
3. Sprinkle over the pepper, salt, paprika and garlic (and whatever other herbs or spices you like)
4. Next, place the tray in a preheated oven for about 35-45 minutes, or until they are cooked through and looking scrumptious!
5. Serve with some ketchup or guacamole, if you’re feeling adventurous.
You now not only have a couple of fabulous recipes to try at home, but also have some great tips to help educate them about their food, how to prepare it and of course how to clean up afterwards!
Guest post by Katherine Mosquera and Naomi Hassan of Mavens of London. Naomi has written for various food and lifestyle blogs and continues to work alongside Mavens of London to create immersive articles and blog content.Katherine has written and edited a range of articles from home and lifestyle, to food and fashion, and is currently a content creator/author at Mavens of London.
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Co-parenting drama in December? Ho, Ho, NO!
I’m quite fond of my children. I mean, I totally don’t want to get rid of them, if you know what I mean. It’s amazing how you’re never quite a pro, at parenting, even if you’ve been at it for a long time. And when it comes to co-parenting, even more so! Kyle is in his teens already and I still feel like I don’t know what the heck to do with my emotions in December! The end of each year always has me feeling all the parenting feels because he travels to his dad, to spend December with his other family. Yep, more than 10 years of him not being with me on Christmas day, and my heart still feels as if it’s beat-boxing to Gangnam Style when he gets on the plane. But, as much as I hate it seeing him go, I refuse to partake in co-parenting drama in December.
For starters, the kid didn’t choose this life. So I’m not about to insert my #momfeelings into the equation simply because I feel more entitled to having him with me. Truth be told, he needs both me and his dad. I’m not the Beyonce of this situation. We are all in it together. And, if we want to be fair about this thing, December is the longest time he spends with his dad, step mom and siblings. It sucks for me but Kyle is super duper excited. It’s a worthy sacrifice in my opinion.
Obviously, I’m still a mom and I’m never quite at peace until my boy is home; safe and soundly annoying the living daylights out of me, as he does. So until he gets back, I usually check up on him as often as I can. And I pray a lot, a lot, a lot. Seth, on the other hand is quite blessed to have both sets of parents in the same city. So Christmas with him usually means seeing him for only half the day. I feel like we’ve got this festive season co-parenting gig sorted. But I was wondering how other co-parenters do it. I mean, is there a trick to it? Well, this is what I found online:
When co-parenting in December, always be mindful of:
1. The other parent’s time. I mean, sure they should just be flippen grateful that they get to see the kid at all. Right? Wrong. We are all human beings and we all deserve respect, yo. In most cases, the usual “even split”, which sees the kid with one parent in the morning, and the other parent in the evening, works like the bomb dot com. My suggestion? Talk to one another and reach a compromise, without the intense desire to be the “winner”, in the situation. How about letting the kid be the winner?
2. Long distance love. For those co-parenting from different cities, a great idea would be a week split. One parent gets the kid for the week leading up to Christmas and Christmas day, and the other for the week leading up to New Years, and New Years day. Win-win, really.
3. The gifts. We had a situation, one year, where one of the parents in our quadruple parenting situation was not happy with a gift that was given to one of the kids. It reminded me that we need to be mindful of each other, when it comes to gift giving too! Kyles dad and I now regularly have “so what are you getting him?” conversations, which is helpful.
4. Traditions. I’m big on traditions. Like, to me, Christmas tradition is almost as important as Christmas day. There, I said it. I appreciate when the boys are allowed to partake in my Christmas crazy, because I mean, what are traditions without having your whole family with you? (Or staring at you, as if you’re a loony toon)
5. The other family. I mean, ignoring your ex and the other family is pretty easy, I’m sure. But we’re not good at playing that game, at our house. Mainly because our boys are always so eager to tell us what went down, who got which gifts and all the funny things that happened. We encourage it! Christmas cheer is Christmas cheer, yo! We’ll take what we can get! But it also sets your kid at ease, and kinda makes them feel like it’s OKAY TO FEEL GOOD about spending time with the other family.So what do you guys think? Can any of my co-parenters relate to any of this? Drop your comments below. I mean, as I said in the beginning, 16 years later and I still learn something new every year! At the end of the day, your kid is what matters. Don’t be a jerk. That’s is all.
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3 relaxing activities any mom should have time for
Once you become a mom, having time for yourself becomes more of a myth than reality. But everybody is entitled to a bit of relaxation at the end of the day, and this should include moms as well. Getting rid of all the stress you’ve accumulated during the day will get you ready for the following morning and will help you be there 100%, which is why it is essential that you do not skip this step. I’d like to tell you about three simple, yet highly effective strategies that could make a difference for you because they will help you relax.
1. Getting Proper Sleep Is a Must for Any Mom
A good night’s sleep can do wonders for you because it provides you with the energy you need to have every single day as a mom. During those hours of sleep, your body will have time to regain its strength and stay healthy. Adjusting your sleep schedule is something that you should have in mind for the long run because it is the basis of a sane mind. A recent study made at Warwick University has actually compared the effects of good sleep to how it feels to be an actual lottery winner. Imagine just how happy you could be after getting a jackpot. This should give you an idea of just how important sleep is for our day-to-day health. So, after you’ve put your little darling to bed, remember that it’s your turn to rest and charge your batteries for the day that awaits.
2. Having A Hobby to Turn to Can Relieve Stress
As any mom out there, I am sure that you want to do absolutely everything with your children, but keeping some things to yourself and yourself only is very important for your emotional state. Keep at least some of your hobbies active and make sure you allocate time to them periodically. Everybody has their own hobby, so whether you like books, films, or outdoor activities, save some time for them because it will help you let all of that stress out. At least once a week, take a bit of time for you and only you and watch your film, read your book, or take your run and you will see just how much it can do for you.
3. Establishing Short Rituals Will Work with A Mom’s Busy Schedule
Making the day longer is any mom’s dream, but, sadly, that is not a possibility, which means that you have to take your relaxation where you can get it. And not only is this possible, but it is all a matter of perspective. Cherish the short relaxing moments you get on a daily basis, like drinking your morning cup of coffee, taking your evening shower, or even taking a short walk on your way to work or picking up your kids from kindergarten. The secret to this one is to keep your mind channeled on what you are doing at that particular time, instead of worrying about the rest of the things you will have to do. Savor that cup of coffee, enjoy that shower, and take the time to notice the scenery as you take your walk. This will help you let out the stress and take in the beauty of the moment. All you have to do is pay attention to it.
Being a mom takes up most of your day, I know, but these three relaxation strategies will help you achieve some great progress. So, breathe in and take your day as it comes, one moment at the time. Make sure you respect the boundaries you set, even though they are self-imposed and you will see just how much this could do for you.
Disclaimer: This post was paid for by ICS Digital and all content belongs to them. Image Source: Pixabay
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It’s Mommy, but you can call me Mom
Anyone else feel like their mommy identity is their only identity? Aren’t you so tired of it?! Yeah, I said it. I’m tired of feeling like I’m 90% Mother and 10% ‘What else you need?’ Gosh, I remember a time when I was so flippen interesting, that people would come speak to me to hear what’s on my mind, not what they need to get from the shop.
I remember a time when my shoes were so bedazzling and amazing that they would be lined up neatly, in a corner of my bedroom. They were always ready for a night out or a supper date at a trendy eatery. Dare I say it: my shoes were “on fleek”. Not “on sale”. My shoes were all tall and elegant looking. They weren’t these flat, formless pieces of leather that we now allow on our feet because it’s much easier to chase after a screaming toddler in a packed shopping mall while wearing foot gear that is flatter than the top of table mountain.
Talking about mountains, I remember a time when I didnt feel like one. Guys, I didn’t even have to go on diets. My body just decided that it had no use for fat and that carbs was a friend of mine. My tops were not loose-fitting and my pants were not stretch material. Sigh, those were good times.I remember a time, you guys, where my Friday nights were filled with missed calls because I didn’t know which group of friends I wanted to hang out with. Not because I fell asleep, while watching “Beauty and the Beast” (for the 145th time) and can’t find my phone (stuck between my butt and the couch).
I remember, oh so clearly, how all my jokes were funny and all my witty comebacks were supremely clever sounding because guys were young and impressionable and I knew that they thought I was brilliant.
I remember when I gave up sleep, on purpose, to dance the night away and the freedom of the December holidays – crazy summer nights and lazy beach days. Ha! I remember being able to spend cold hard cash on a new outfit without guilting myself about the soccer gear that wad of cash could have covered!
Do you guys remember? What’s your favorite thing to get all nostalgic about?
I had a moment (because I’m old now, so I have ‘moments’ often) where I tried to remember my very favorite memory out of all. I realised that I couldn’t pick one. I didn’t have one.
I had three… the births of my three kids.
Kyles birth was scary, because I was still a baby myself, but the moment I laid eyes on him, my heart skipped a beat. He graduated me into Mommydom. Karis birth was so joyful, I literally laughed when I saw her. My long awaited daughter… the most beautiful girl in the world! And Jonah’s entry into the world was so special – my heart felt like it could burst – he was just so gorgeous!
Oh sorry, what was I speaking about now again? Mommy identity? The past? My life before children?
Well, it is what it is. There’s a lot to reflect on. I remember being young, carefree, skinny, adventurous, exciting, full of energy, not broke, childless….
… selfish, unaccountable, unmoved, irresponsible, egocentric, half baked.
And now? Well… now I am complete.
