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How to control your “Control Freak”ness

Photo: Absolute Misdemeanor As a self professed control freak, I am learning a couple of hard lessons about when to loosen the harness of my tightly roped life. I really do thrive when things are predictable and well planned but that has become detrimental to a few really important relationships in my life.
For starters, life with a teenager is far from predictable.
I don’t get my son. I just don’t get him!
I tell him so too.
We are the total opposites. He doesn’t even wear matching socks sometimes!
Photo: From The Left Field We have a totally crazy morning routine of me waking him up for 20 minutes and then me rushing him to get done for 20 minutes. It just does not work because we leave home LATE anyways! I’ve just decided to let him take his time, which resulted in him getting to school late a couple of days in a row, which meant he gets Friday detention. And you would think that that would shake him, but no, he still does everything PAINFULLY slow in the morning.
I’m talking, literally taking 10 minutes to put on his shirt. LITERALLY.
I’ve watched him do it!
We’ve had “bad mornings” for the past few months now and it really gets to you, to have to start your whole day off in a yelling match. (I yell. He ignores.)
Photo: Pinterest But then I started realizing how this is affecting us.
It makes us all feel negative and just creates a bad atmosphere in our home. It also made me realize that I cant control that boy and reminded me (yet again) that I can only control MYSELF… as is the case with almost everything else in my life. So no matter how many minutes my spreadsheet has allocated to me brushing my teeth, chances are, he will take an extra 10 minutes on it.
But hey that’s who I am, and that’s who he is and we are not the same person!Our children grow up so fast and we are the greatest influencers in their lives.
I’d really like to try to be less “AACK YOU’RE MESSING UP MY PLANS’ and more well, nicer, I guess. Anyone else feel this way?For starters, I am waking him up a bit earlier every morning now, which means I sacrifice my sleep but he gets more time to prepare. And then I found that since I am way nicer in the mornings now, he responds differently to me.
(When I DON’T yell, then he actually hears me. Figures.)The truth is that when I try to plan, replan and over plan, I tend to be SO self focused that I forget to value the relationship at hand.
My relationships are more important than my plans.
Woah, that was a big one.Hope I made you think đ
xxxL -
How to survive being married to a musician
Being married to a musician has its perks. Strange perks (like when he decides to “beat box” to you ranting about something) but perks, nonetheless. Are you dating a muso? Well, girlfriend, this advice is for you!
How to survive being married to a musician
1. Learn to not look up when he refers to “Pooky” because it’s probably his guitar. Understand that he names his instrument. It will probably be an even mushier term of endearment than he has for you.
2. Expect him to spend a fair sum of money on things like strings, pads and sticks. (Clip note: they are not what you think they are.)
3. Never refer to a singer as a “musician”. You are only deserving of the title “musician” when you play an instrument.
4. Do not break into hysterics when you find him making this facial expression while listening to music:

No, he is not having a mild heart attack. This just means that he likes and admires what he is listening to.
5. Accept that you will be listening to music at its highest volume from here on or be okay with him wearing headphones all the time. Because there is no other way to really listen to music.
6. “Sound Check” – Definition:Â You will be at the event hours before anyone else is.Â
7. When the lights go on and everyone goes home after an event, keep calm while you watch him potter around on stage. Be prepared to hang around as he “jams” with the band… yes, the same band he just played with for the past hour.
8. Learn how to speak muso. Quick lesson:
- A “sick” bassline means that it’s good.
- When someone is a “beast”, they are quite skilled at playing their instrument.
- The term “shedding” does not refer to hair loss.
- “Breaks” does not mean someone broke something on stage.
- The terms “double time” and “half time” has nothing to do with sport.
These views and opinions are solely based on my experiences. Reference:Â
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Mommy Review: Oh! Boy {GIVEAWAY}
My Curlysue and I were totally excited when we received a parcel from Oh! Boy kids accessories a couple of weeks ago. Elle from JustEllaBella is a fab WAHM who started this online store after facing the conundrum of not finding cool stuff for her very cool kid, Aidan, to wear. She dreams up, designs and creates every single product by hand and thrives on being as quirky and original as possible – I mean, how cool is it to visit a store and know that you won’t see 50 other kids walking around wearing the exact same thing as yours?

From scarves to potty training friendly velcro belts to peak beanies for tiny heads – this lady thinks of it all.The latest edition to the store are her busy bags, which she describes as “take-a-long toys to keep kiddies busy.” These bags contain “quiet” games and things for your toddler to do when you need to keep them entertained in instances that need for a quiet child đ I love that she’s included an educational aspect to each bag – so they learn as they play and you get some adult time. Score.
Our package from Oh!Boy contained a really cute sensory dino and a hand painted bandanna bib.
I thought the dino to be pretty darn cool because of the pink taglets attached to the side. My little one loves using her pincher’s to poke and pull at anything and everything she sets her eyes on. Needless to say, she loved the silky taglets and yep, she tried to pull them off. Operation: Destroy the Dino.
Fortunately, these handmade dinos are stitched together beautifully and are durable – much to the dismay of Curly.
The dinos contain dried lentils which are awesome if you’re looking for a fun sensory toy.
They also double as a cold or hot compress and I’ve found that they retain heat/coldness really well (you can stick them in the fridge or pop them in the microwave)Of course, Curly chose to taste them as well (everything goes to the mouth) so yes, if you’re looking for a teether, this would work too.
What I love the most about Oh!Boys range of bibs is that they are so original and really not “bib looking”, if you know what I mean. Let’s be honest moms, bibs can make or break an outfit đ
See pic for the degree of cuteness:I am so chuffed to announce that Oh! Boy will be giving away an amazing prize consisting of a sensory dino and a ultra funky kiddie lounge pants and a matching bib.
Follow the rafflecopter prompts to enter!
xxxL
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Do amber teething necklaces work with voodoo?
I often find myself in mommy chat circles, debating whether or not the amber teething necklace actually works. Some moms claim that if you see results, it’s probably the placebo effect (i.e. your mind is playing tricks on you, crazy lady). Others swear by the amber beads and claim that it has done wonders for their teething toddlers. My hubstopher, on the other hand believes that it’s voodoo and that we should keep it as far away from our children as possible. My spreadsheet brain and I had to get to the bottom of this madness!So, I did what any sane ‘spreadsheet brained’ person would do. I Googled, of corse! Some websites (usually the ones who are promoting the beads) say that amber is reputed to boost the immune system and assists with reducing inflammation and accelerating the healing of wounds, because it contains and releases succinic acid. Apparently it’s been used as a soother for teething babes for many years now. As per Wikipedia, amber has been used for its healing properties since the time of Hippocrates in Ancient Greece through the Middle Ages and up until the early twentieth century. Interesting.
The packaging of my string of amber beads says that amber is not actually a stone, it is fossilized tree resin from forests that were flooded by the sea millions of years ago.The packaging also says “we believe that the power to soothe pain attributed to amber lies in the fact that it creates an electromagnetic field which enhances the human frame of mind.” Hmmm… sounds a bit voodoo-esque, right?
Opposing websites, such as Science or Not, de-myths the amber beads story. The website goes into detail, breaking down the components that make up amber. In their explanation, researchers explain that your baby would need to be exposed to quite a large amount of succinic acid, over a long period of time, in order for it to take effect. In a nutshell, many doctors and scientists say that the idea behind a string of amber beads reducing teething symptoms is ridiculous and a chocking risk (even though the string is really short and the beads supposedly break easily – to avoid strangulation).
Surprisingly enough a lot of moms swear that amber beads gave their baby a bit of relief during the terrible teething woes. I was willing to try it (while monitoring my baby closely), to see if it worked.
I tested the beads to see if they would assist with relief from
– Constant drooling
– Rash on my babies face
– Pain and uncomfortable behaviorThe result, after using it for 1 week
– The drooling seemed to ease up to the point where she did not have to wear a bib anymore. This was a big deal for me, since she had been drooling lots and I’ve constantly had to change her tops and bibs, to keep her dry. (Also, hello, bibs can totally like, ruin an outfit, darling!)– The rash is still there and comes and goes. Not a fan. I honestly thought the rash was due to the drooling. Hmm, it seems I don’t know it all – but shh don’t tell my hubstopher.
– She still has moments of discomfort, which is the norm. I cant tell if the levels of teething pains have decreased though. Unless I’m about to break out in baby babble, which I’ve graduated from, many years ago.
In conclusion
Although 1 of the 3 symptoms eased up, I’m not about to put my name on an official document stating that the stuff actually works, yo. But yes, the drooling stopped soon after using the beads. And no, I did not detect any signs of voodoo whatsoever.However, I must caution you to remove the beads from your sleeping baby and to monitor baby during “awake” times too. I don’t know, but having something around my babys neck gives me the jitters! And as one website asked: Is the (supposed) benefit of wearing these beads greater than the risk? That, Mommy, is a decision you will have to make for yourself.
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Marriage and Melodies: Our feature in JStar Blomag
The nice lady (Mvokazi Mjayezi-Ncede) from JStar Blomag emailed me a few weeks ago asking if they could please feature Chris and I in the August edition. We obviaaasly had to say yes! What an honor!We got to share about how we met, what brought us together and what keeps us together!Chris and I met a couple of years ago and sorry Hollywood, it wasnt exactly “love and first sight”.We became really good friends first and I think that is so important! We got to know each others ins and outs before deciding if this was “the one”.I am no relationship expert, but since I’ve been in a few (the longest one – prior to Chris – being 7 years!) I am an advocate for “let’s first be friends”. I see sooo many people jumping from one relationship to another – how tiring!One of our church pastors said something profound once.He said that making up and breaking up all the time is kinda like desensitizing you to divorce.It becomes a learned behavior. It just made sense to me and looking around at all the beautiful marriages I see, I find that the people who have been less exposed to unstable relationships believe in LOVE and the “Happy Ever After” even more than those who have experienced constant break ups.I’m not slamming “dating”, but I do feel that going into a “serious” relationship is such a big decision. Why waste your time with someone who you do not want to spend the rest of your life with? Why waste THEIR time?Anyways, so in this edition of JStar, you’ll read more about us and how we met and what we believe to be the glue that keeps us together đI love this magazine, besides for the obvious reasons haha :), because it features amazing stories, testimonies and advice for regular people, from regular people, on behalf of regular people.Regular.(Had to say it again).There’s no sugar coating, no flashy misconceptions and total truths that are sure to inspire you and help make you feel a little less crazy and a little more motivated to be a better you!Check out the Jstar site, to get the online magazine and to get the August edition with us in it.Heehee!I feel so faaaamous now and stuff! đxxxL -
Music Monday: Laurene Bonsink – Father

Photo: Laurene Bonsink This Monday I am revisiting an album I reviewed a while ago because it’s been THAT kind of month and I really needed something (If you know what I mean). I needed a refreshing and for God to just wipe the slate clean (as He does) and for me to start this new month with new thoughts and a fresh inspiration. Maybe you felt the same? Maybe you’re also going through the mid year slump? Join the team đ Laurene Bonsink released her debut album in January 2015 and let me tell you, this CD is really something else! This is the review I wrote for Gateway News:Bonsink recorded the album in the Netherlands, where she currently resides, leading worship in one of its biggest churches, Doorbrekers. She shares that her longing for more âfree worshipâ and the prophetic in the local church is what led the worship leader on a journey to singing spontaneous God-instructed songs during services and eventually recording an album that has the depth to âtake you to the heart of God the Father,â as described on her website. This sound is evident in her album and I thoroughly enjoyed the unobtrusive, delicate way in which she ministers in the prophetic. It was easy for me to rest in Godâs presence, whilst listening to Bonsinkâs serene vocals and honest, unfussy songwriting.Bonsinkâs heart is evident in her song recordings. Each song leaves room for you to encounter your own Holy Spirit movement whilst listening to it because of the uncomplicated arrangements and her moving so easily into spontaneous worship that it gives the listener unconscious permission to do the same.
Photo: Laurene Bonsink An example is Track 2, Beautiful Saviour. With simple lyrics that say: âYouâre beautiful God/Youâre beautiful Saviour/Youâre beautiful King,â I immediately got caught up in the attributes of God while listening to her minister so effortlessly.Other songs that include a time for free worship are I want to beand Safe with you. Both tracks have easy, likeable melodies and straightforward, heartfelt lyrics that make it easy for you to enter into a personal time of worship. In my opinion, it wouldâve been nice to hear even more spontaneous worship from the singer.The electro intro of Safe in your arms immediately grabbed my attention. The song has a more contemporary sound and is so different from the first four tracks. It was quite unexpected.You will never leave us is a wordy song that speaks about the power of Christâs work on the cross. Itâs a typical Easter song but with a unique sound â almost ethereal instrumentation and beautiful vocals by Bonsink and David van den Heuvel. Another Easter song, It is done, has almost the same sound but with lyrics that paint a picture of the Crucifixion of Christ.I found Father God to be a beautiful, easy-to-listen-to heart song. In fact, if my guitar skills were up to par, I would probably download the chord charts and lyrics to this one from herwebsite. Another guitar-based track that grabbed me was bonus track, Your love. Unlike the original (which is actually Track 3 on the album), the bonus track only features an acoustic guitar accompanying Bonsinkâs vocals. In the songâs bridge, she croons âHow deep you touch me Lord/how deep you do/Iâm falling more and more in love with you.â Stunning!Album closer, He is King, is a declarative song with a chorus that simply says: âHe is King/we raise our voices/we sing/He is Kingâ. It has the potential to be a congregational anthem and has really powerful moments, which I quite enjoyed.If you enjoy worship that is easy to listen to, but has depth, then I would recommend this album to you. If I could describe it in one word, Iâd say âairyâ â It gave me the feeling of having room to relax, breathe and let go. There isnât a lot to focus on except the beauty of the presence of God and who He is, and as much as I love big productions and big vocals with 5-part harmonies, there is a beauty in worshipping with music that is simplistic and focused on having the Holy Spirit move.If you would like to purchase a copy of this album, you can visit Laurene Bonsinks website or contact Harry Chesling at 082 320 2853 for more information.This review was originally written for and published in Gateway News -
And then I bought a string of Baltic Amber Beads…
So, today, I went out and purchased a string of baltic amber beads for my Curlysue.
She’s going through her teething season and I feel SO sorry for her đ
Besides for the fact that the pearlys are right beneath the surface of the gum and they refuse to budge an inch further, she has also been drooling a lot, which causes an eina looking rash on her neck.
She is so uncomfortable. And needless to say, sleep has eluded us for many a night now.
Not a good look on me.And then I heard about the amazing amber beads. They are apparently made out of (duh) amber and it is said that this amber stone can help to boost the immune system, reduce inflammation and accelerate the healing of wounds. Many swear that they are perfect soothers for babies who are teething as well.
I’m not sure about the healing properties of this here necklace and my hubby says that it’s “voodoo” but after reading up on it, I am willing to spend R195 and give it a go!
Being all spreadsheet brain’ed (and stuff) I Googled as much as I could and found this article, found over at Belly Belly , especially interesting. It says:Â “In addition to assisting with reducing pain, drooling (for which amber is said to work by stimulating the thyroid glands) and irritability that is often associated with teething, Baltic amber is believed to help relieve eczema, speed up wound healing and stave off ear and throat inflammation, amongst other ailments.”
Sounds worth a try, right?
The nice lady at the shop I bought it from said to give it 4 – 5 days before it will take effect.
So let’s see what happens.I will be checking if the beads assist as a relief from:
– Constant drooling
– Rash on face
– Pain and uncomfortable behaviourI will report back in a weeks time to let you know whether this thing is worth the price of a pack of diapers!
xxxL -
Guilt free baby lovin’
In a perfect world I’d be a stay at home mom. I would also be a size 6, freckle free and have a rich husband. But this is not a perfect world. So here I am, in all my size 10 glory, a 9 to 5 working mom with a 9 to 5 working husband. Life’s pretty decent and I get that I am at my place of employment for a season and a reason, but I must admit that it sucks a lot when I have to leave my baby with a babysitter every morning, and only get to see her again when it’s dark outside. I guess I have a severe case of what I’ve dubbed ‘guilt free baby lovin’.
I felt this even more so yesterday, when I had a particularly hectic Saturday and only picked baby up at 4pm. We then went to visit friends, where an aunty took baby for a bit to say hi and for some play time. A couple of minutes later, I spot aunty and baby, and I see my baby’s head is down on auntys shoulder, as if she is tired. But she cant be tired. She’s just had a nap. I then realized that my poor baby probably thought that I had left again and had resigned to just laying there, on auntys shoulder, until I came back.
Oh my heart broke at the sight! I immediately went to get her from the kind aunty and when baby saw me, she was instantly full of joy and energy, so excited that mommy isn’t gone after all!I know that millions of moms all around the world have 9 to 5 jobs as well and their babys have grown up to be mentally sane and emotionally balanced and all of that. But this doesn’t make it easier for me to be away from mine. With my first born I was ever thankful when someone took him off my hands, allowing me some free time to do whatever I needed to. But with this little one it’s so hard for me to be away from her. I prefer staying at home with her, rather than going out. I’ve said no to many an invitation and have even declined hubstophers request for a weekend (or even a night) away from the kids. I’m not ready yet. Fortunately my husband is understanding and he is okay with this. And I’ve decided to be okay with it too.
I have had people tell me not to “spoil” her by holding, kissing her playing with her too much. Uhm. No thank you lady, I’d prefer holding and kissing and playing with my kid. Her dad is crazy about her and she semi freaks out (good freak out) when she sees him. She gives him the best shrieks and belly laughs when he does silly antics for her. I will never ever deny her that. I don’t think it is “spoiling” her. I think that it is giving her a sense of belonging and security. Her parents love her and we want to always make her feel that she is loved.

And you know what, she will only be a baby for so long and I plan to enjoy every single second that I have to spare, with her. I am okay with lavishing my love and attention on our little girl and I am okay with being selfish with my time. Our older kids have each other and yes, they also get the attention that they need, but obviously, since she is 9 and 12 years their junior, she requires a bit more. We all understand this. It makes sense in our world.
And hey, maybe one day Ill attend that party or go away for a weekend. Maybe one day I won’t rush home from work, just so that I can see her. One day. But not right now. No guilt here. No shame here. No unresolved issues here. Just pure guilt free baby lovin and I’m going to savor it for as long as I can.
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DIY storage space ideas
If you live in a matchbox, like I do, I’m sure you’re always looking for ways to maximise your space. I’m learning the hard way that life with boys can definitely leave your home feeling cluttered. Can you imagine the state of my (spreadsheet) brain when I come home to shoes and Xbox games and the likes, scattered around the house? Order must be kept!
And then its choruses of “Babe, where are the car keys?” and “Mommy wheres my [insert random object of importance here]? I reeeaaally need it for school tomorrow!”Such a fun time.I will accept a little bit of the blame.I am the eternal collector and have a large collection of CD’s and DVD’s. (Aint nothing like the reeal thing baby).With that said, I am always looking for nifty ways to store or display things and found Google to be really helpful with this.Check out what I’ve found:
“Your car keys are behind the frame, dollface!” 
My pots n pans cuboard is the worst! 
This is cool! 
This is so easy to make! 2Litre cooldrink bottle! 
Some magnetic action going on here 
No need to lift up a bunch of pots to take out the tray 
Hmm… but then to store the storage boxes. Not sure how I feel… 
Love this! It’s a frame! No, its a book case! 
CD case 
Magnets again! 
A hanger. Love. 
Again, where to store the boxes? 
Great idea! -
Music Monday: Worship Central – Set Apart

Photo: Worship Central I loved reviewing London based Christian movement, Worship Centralsâ third live album, Set Apart. The album, which was recorded in 2014 at Hillsongâs Warehouse Project in London features worship leaders Tim Hughes, Ben Cantelon, Luke and Anna Hellebronth and Karen Gillespie.With the sole mandate and desire to see the worship of Jesus Christ made central throughout the world, the Worship Central movement has certainly been making an impact in worship circles worldwide, most recently with its 100 Gatherings initiative which saw 100 worship gatherings taking place across the globe over the period of a week, as reported by Gateway News.Co-founder and director, Tim Hughes, has shared that he believes that worship is more than just the songs we sing. âIf we let the song become the king, then worship becomes more about what we can create and less about our response to Godâs initiating love and glory,â he explained. And this is evident in his passion to see and facilitate the growth of worship services across England and the world.With all of this in mind, I listened to the new album full of expectancy, knowing that these guys are the real thing! I was not disappointed and found the album to be exactly what one would expect from a current Christian band/worship collective â electric guitars, easy melodies, lots of anthems and a few really groovy congregational songs that can be added to many a set list.Album opener, âThe Wayâ is led by frontman Tim Hughes and is an array of synth and electronics with an easy to sing chorus speaking about Jesus being the way. Listening to this song took me back to my youth days, strobe lights and wearing neon coloured clothing. I love that itâs a party â because, hey, we have a lot to celebrate!Anthem, âStand upâ also peaked my attention with its catchy hook âWhen we donât know what to do/what to do/our eyes will be fixed on you/fixed on you!â Lead by Luke Hellebronth, this song urges the congregation to set their eyes on the Lord.Judging by their response on social media platforms, Worship Central music fans seem to really love âCanât stop Your loveââ an anthemy song lead by Ben Cantelon. The track has a strong chorus, which is a really catchy chant taken from Psalm 139: âWhere can I go/Where can I go/From Your presence/In Your light I am known/Iâm surrounded/I will not walk alone.â This is one of those songs that you canât get out of your head after a few listens!I found a favourite in âAwsome is Heâ which features the amazing Anna Hellebronth. It is a mid-tempo congregational song which encourages the listener to rise up and worship our great God. When you get your hands on this album and youâre wondering where to start, I would say start here. After having a listen to the entire CD the very first time this is the song that made me go back again.In my most humble opinion, the worship ballad titled âWorth it allâ, led by Cantelon, is one of the best worship songs on this album. I love the wordy bridge that builds into a crescendo with Cantelon declaring that Jesus is âworth it all!âI also enjoyed the likable melodies of âEnough lightâ and âLet goâ â both modern sounding tracks with easy to learn choruses. I think they would make for excellent introductions to Youth service worship sets. But I must share that the ultimate winner on this album, for me, was Karen Gillespies âSinging over us.âThe chorus very simply sings: âFor You care for us/For You care for us/You are singing over us/With Your love.â I think that the combo of uncomplicated, honest lyric coupled with an awsome synth, won me over! The song ends by transitioning into a spontaneous worship session with Tim Hughes who begins to sing the song of the Lord. Wow! It is so aptly namedâWide open spaceâ and Hughes sings about the love of the Father and how God is calling us to be His Good News.In a nutshell, this is a âtypicalâ modern worship album, which would be an asset to anyoneâs collection. After a few listens, it totally grew on me and since it has an up-to-date sound that is similar to some of the stuff that we enjoy (as a family), it was easy to introduce this album to our play list in the car. Two thumbs up!This review was originally written for and published in Gateway News





































