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Get sun smart with Oh-Lief’s organic sunscreen {Win!}
Guys, we love Summer! We are water babies and would do anything to be in the pool for, like, the whole month of December. I’m hoping that this love of swimming and sun-soaked pool days will rub off on my kids.
To kick start this communal – uh – love affair with Summer, I made sure to get my smallies some funky swimming gear and sun hats. I also knew that I had to stock up on sunscreen because sunburn is no joke. So I was quite keen to try out Oh-Lief’s new range of organic sunscreen.
I mean, this local family business has been around for more than 9 years. If you’re big on earth-friendly product, that boasts 100% natural, raw and organic ingredients, then you need to give Oh-Lief a try. (Plus #proudlysouthafrican – did I mention that yet?)
One of my favorite things about the Oh-Lief range of sunscreens is that it’s made using non-nano zinc oxide… which sounds like a bunch of clever words to say. But what this actually means is that the natural soft mineral sits on the skin and isn’t easily absorbed. So it acts like a real sun BLOCK, protecting your skin, without absorbing into your bloodstream. Super important, especially when you consider the fact that your tiny humans will be wearing this cream on their skin.
The Oh-Lief sun care range contains body sunscreen, face sunscreen and a face stick.
Oh-Lief Natural Body SunscreenThe body sunscreen is lightweight on the skin and is fragrance free. I like that it is SPF30 and water resistant… I mean, we plan to never be out of the water! It provides UVA and UVB protection (which means it a broad spectrum sunblock) and won’t irritate your skin, dry it out or clog your pores. This is perfect if your kid has sensitive skin.
Oh-Lief Natural Face Sunscreen
A special sunscreen for your face is a thing and yep, it’s so important, you guys. This one contains green Rooibos which is a powerful anti-oxidant that is apparently 200 times more effective than vitamin E. This means its super good at protecting the skin and it even repairs existing damage! You can wear it directly on your skin or under make-up.
Can you believe it took about two years for them to formulate this special sunscreen? They’ve put only the best stuff in here… including non-toxic ingredients such as beeswax, carrot, zinc oxide and pomegranate extracts.
Oh-Lief Natural Face Stick
And while we’re on that topic of the face, the Oh-Lief natural face stick is such a must have! The compact tube is perfect for your beach bag or handbag. The unique formula, containing beeswax and coconut oil is so beneficial for your skin and contains an SPF30.
Win with Oh-Lief and Mom Says!You can win the entire Oh-Lief baby range (including the entire sunscreen range) and R500 cash compliments of Mom Says. The prize is valued at a whopping R1479!
To enter, simply pop into your nearest Dischem and purchase any Oh-Lief product. Share a pic of your product on social media and tag @momsaysa and the hashtag #MomSaysOhLief. Competition closes 10 November at midnight. Opened to South Africans only.
Hot tip! You get a special 20% Oh-Lief products (all except the sun care range) if you shop at Dischem before 8 November!
(This competition is not endorsed or sponsored by Instagram or Facebook. Winner is chosen randomly by
MomSays.) -
A swallowed coin and a trip to the operating room
There are few things in life that challenge me the way that parenting does. I mean, if you think about it, you’re responsible for keeping a whole human being alive. Easier said than done, sometimes. Well, this is what I learnt on Friday night when I heard my 2 year old gagging.
Now, disclaimer: Thanks for saying my family is beautiful but here’s the (hard, ugly) truth about having three kids under the age of five… you often have to put one kid’s needs on hold, while you’re seeing to the other one. I mean, it’s not exactly ideal. So when the baby made the biggest poo of his life (you know, the type that goes practically everywhere), I had to leave Jo alone with Moana (thanks Disney) while I quickly changed baby. In those few minutes, my Jo managed to find a 10 cent coin (I mean, who even has coins these days?! I have NO IDEA where he got it from!) and he decided to find out what the coin tastes like.
And that’s when he accidentally swallowed it.
Even though I didn’t see him swallow anything, I know my child. The gagging and coughing totally freaked me out and I could immediately tell that something was wrong. He started crying and I noticed that he was drooling a lot and his chest was wheezing. Since I watch Grey’s Anatomy (I’m practically a doctor), I knew that the drooling and sudden wheezing could mean that something is lodged in his throat/airway. He also said that it’s eina, pointing to his throat.
We rushed him to the ER, where a very polite doctor looked at me as if I need to keep my drama in check, telling me TWICE that the kid has tonsillitis and that’s it. I mean, as the doctor pointed out, I didn’t exactly see the kid put a foreign object into his mouth. I had no proof. But at this point, I just knew.
Now, my friends, if I’ve learnt anything it’s that the spirit of God speaks to us – if we care to listen! And so, because of this, when I get a “feeling”… a surety… I trust that instinct. Needless to say, our facial expressions told the doctor that he can point out the kids tonsils to us as many times as he wants, but we still want an x-ray to prove that nothing is lodged in his throat.
A trip to the radiology department later and yup, a whole 10 cent coin was stuck in my baby’s esophagus. The feelings that ran through my body were a mix of: Ha! Take that doctor!/Oh my gosh I’m a terrible mother!/Thank you God, it didn’t constrict his breathing!
There is nothing that comes close to the feeling of sheer terror when you realise that you could lose your baby. And even though the doctor said that the coin is essentially in the “right” pipe (not blocking his airway), I needed it to be removed like PRONTO! The surgeon suggested a bronchoscopy procedure, where they put him to sleep and then use a device, inserted down his throat, to try to grab the foreign object. This could only be done the next day though, so he had to overnight at the hospital. It was quite an experience. I mean, a whole 18 hours with a foreign object stuck in your throat is not a fun time for a bouncy toddler. And, as a parent, not being able to do anything to relieve the pain and discomfort, well, that totally sucked.
I’m so thankful to say that the procedure (which took all of 20 minutes) was successful and our boy was back to his usual ball-of-energy self, as soon as the anesthetic wore off.
My biggest takeaway from this experience was the reminder that God’s hand is on my children’s lives. I mean, Jonah was a promise birthed in our hearts before we were married!
Did I feel guilty that I wasn’t around to prevent my two year old from sampling a shiny 10 cent coin? Uhhh, yeah. Honestly, you guys, I had to move away from the feelings of guilt and fear that threatened to consume me. It is overwhelming to realise that you can’t protect your child from everything. You aren’t able to be around them every second of their day. And even so, eventually they grow up to live their own lives and you have even less control over them then!
So this experience reminded me that all I can do is pray and partner with God. All I can do is trust that He will equip me to be the best parent I can be, and that the “still small voice” will continue to instruct and empower me to make the best decisions concerning my family.
So yeah, this parenting gig is quite a challenge. The hours are crazy and the pay is terrible. But the perks? Well, that makes it all worth it.
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‘The Little Generosity Shop’ is trading in your toys for chocolates!
Your kid’s have way to many toys. There, I said it. Whaaaat, mine do too. In fact, if you consider the vast number of children, in underprivileged areas, who probably don’t even own a decent pair of shoes on most days, I would say that our kids have a lot more going for them than a banging toy box.
The other day I
madeencouraged my kids to purge their toy box, in a bid to get them to, well, mainly have less crap in my house.But also, I want them to get into the habit of letting go of things that they don’t need, with the intention of teaching them about kindness and generosity. You don’t need to have a lot of moola to sow/invest into another person’s life. Heck, sometimes all you have is love and kindness.
But my point is that the lesson I wanted to teach didn’t involve having lots of stuff. Rather, it involves taking what is in their hands and passing it on to someone that could benefit from it. Often, it’s the smallest things that have the biggest impact.
This is one of the reasons why I love the Cadbury Dairy Milk’s The LIttle Generosity Shop initiative. Man, what a great idea! The Little Generosity Shop aims to bring a little joy to millions of orphaned children across South Africa) by passing on preloved toys, from your children, to them.
I mean, guys, these kids are not exposed to the frivolties that our kids are growing up with. Stuff like books, games and toys are a luxury to them! Healthy play is an important developmental tool for growing kids and I so appreciate that Cadbury Dairy Milk has seen the plight and have now taken it on themselves to collect as many toys as possible.And, I mean, if that is not reason enough to get involved, get this: when you donate your clean, unbroken, preloved toy to the shop, you receive Cadbury Dairy Milk chocolate! How’s that for a score?!
“Through ‘The Little Generosity Shop’, South Africans will have a platform to share the spirit of generosity,” says Lara Sidersky, Mondelez SA Category Lead for Chocolate. “And so, we are urging all South Africans to get together and get behind this wonderful initiative. Together we can all be more generous. Not just by giving a toy to a child in need, but every day, with each other.”
Nelson Mandela Bay, you can visit ‘The Little Generosity Shop’ this coming weekend (15 & 16 June) at Baywest Mall. The shop will be open during mall trading hours.
If you’re in other parts of the country, check out ‘The Little Generosity Shop’ at a shopping center near you:
- Johannesburg: Sandton City, Checkers Court (29 May – 17 June)
- Durban: Gateway Theatre of Shopping, Centre Court (25 June – 8 July)
- Cape Town: Canal Walk Shopping Centre, Centre Court (19 July – 5 August)
The mobile ‘Little Generosity Shop’ will also be visiting:
- Bloemfontein: Loch Logan (7, 8 & 9 June)
- Pretoria: Irene Village Mall (28, 29 & 30 June)
- Nelspruit: Riverside Mall (12, 13 & 14 July)
To find out how to share your generosity, visit www.cadburyglassandahalf.co.za and follow along on @CadburyDairyMilkSA on Facebook or @Cadbury_SA on Twitter and Instagram.
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Telling our kids we are pregnant
When you have as many as we do, you kinda brace yourself when breaking pregnancy news to the kids. Telling our kids we are pregnant was a pretty big deal in our home.
I mean, the older ones help out with the younger ones (thanks Kyle), so a new baby means more smallies to run after. It helps that Kyle is almost 18 and that Seth (who lives with his bio mom anyways) is 13. But you guys, Jo (2) and Kari (4) are a handful on their own. Kari thinks that Jo is a handful too (I know this because she says it). Jo… well, he’s just outchere being cute and cherub-like. But he’s two years old. So I wasn’t sure if #demkids would appreciate the addition of yet another little Williams. And I don’t blame them.
Another child means that time, money and other frivolities will have to be rationed between five whole children now and not just four. Again, I can’t stress enough how helpful it is (such a weird thing to be thankful for) that the older boys have whole other families in their lives. I mean, it eases the load, if you know what I mean. But we still need to consider things like one on one time (dating your kids is a real thing), the paying of school fees, making sure they are clothed and fed and other important stuff like that. Oh and the WiFi. Someone needs to pay for the WiFi.
The thought of one more can be extremely overwhelming. I totally have moments where I’m like “aaack, I’m having another baby, am I CRAZY?!” Of corse, those moments are few and far between the more predominant moments of “Oh my goodness, I’m having another baby, heart melt!”
I get it. It’s alot with to deal with mentally… well, for me atleast, and I’m their MOTHER. So let’s just say we were a bit wary when breaking the news to the kids.
We waited a very long time before we told them. Well, we waited a long time before we told anyone. Mainly because of health reasons (wanted to be sure that we’re in the safe zone first) but also because we wanted to keep the information to ourselves (you can read the reasons why over here).
When we finally told #demkids we were kinda stunned at their responses.For starters, Kari (who had been the “mommy please have another baby” champion in our home since December) was completely overwhelmed at the news. In fact, she had no words. Our girl. The outspoken one. She was silent. It took her a while to absorb the information, but once it hit home, she was a ball of energy planning out her journey, as a big sister, in detail.
Jonah… well, he was being his cute and cherub-like self. Also, he’s two. We didn’t really expect him to understand.
The older boys were a lot more optimistic than we had expected you guys! I mean, the immediate debate was that the child must either be named Kyle Seth Williams or Seth Kyle Williams. But I gladly encouraged it, because it meant that they were not running around, pulling their hair out at the news.
Both boys were kinda nonchalant about it though. They say that they have enough siblings to know what goes down when another is added to O Town (see what I did there) and they feel that they are ready for it.
All in all a good response, I think. I know. I’m still in shock. I mean, they handled it better than some of the adults we know. So that’s something right there.
Anyways, with that said, we’re still super excited (me, still super overwhelmed sometimes) and really looking forward to doing life with our crazy, big family! Big families are the best! And we be havin’ it! Somebody give me a high five, immediately.
(Watch a very short kids response video below.. recording stopped mid-way through the big reveal, don’t know how that happened. )
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Bath Time with Purity & Elizabeth Annes
We take bath time really seriously in our home. Okay, correction. I do. I take bath time seriously. Whaaat? It’s the only time I get to cuddle and love on my babies without them wanting to ditch me for their dad or play things. Part of our routine involves me telling them little stories, making up songs about the amount of fingers and toes they have and I obviously love that I get to rub them up with lotions and nice smelling potions, while they stare at me, enamored.
Over the past week we tried out some of the cool products from Purity & Elizabeth Anne’s mild and gentle range. I was so pleased when I received the press drop, because I’m old now and things like bath products excites me, apparently. But also because the names Purity & Elizabeth Anne’s is synonymous with quality and safety. We know the brand, we love the product, we buy copious amounts of the stuff to add to our baby shower gift bags. What’s not to love?The Purity & Elizabeth Anne’s Special Baby Shampoo is formulated without soap and is gentle on your baby’s eyes. I love the travel size bottle (great for that hospital bag and over night kit). We’ve used it as an all-over body wash (yep, including hair, yo!) It cleanses skin gently and leaves baby feeling fresh and all baby-smellin’! You guys know that well-known, Purity & Elizabeth Anne’s rose fragrance… I simply love it!
We also tried the Purity & Elizabeth Anne’s Fresh range. The Head to Toe wash has a fun, fresh fragrance (can a fragrance be fun?! why, yes it can!) with a tear free formulation. The Fresh Aqueous cream bar is perfectly PH balanced to be mild & gentle. For those who believe in chamomile (because, it’s like, a thing) you’ll be pleased to know that the Fresh Baby Powder has chamomile to help soothe and calm skinYou guys, the thing that most excited me was the laundry range! The amazing smelling Purity & Elizabeth Anne’s Laundry Wash is suitable for both hand and machine wash. The Purity & Elizabeth Anne’s Stain Remover comes in a really convenient ‘roll on’ tube, making it easy to apply to smaller garments. I mean, hello green poop stains! Those are a bummer (pun intended) to get out!
You can pick up the Purity and Elizabeth Anne’s ranges from all leading retailers. For more deets on these products, check out the website.
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Choosing the right school for your child and other parenting headaches
I grew up in (what our brown people lovingly refer to as) the hood, in Port Elizabeth. You know… the type of suburb where all the kids in the neighborhood would play with each other, in the street, literally, because we didn’t have big yards or grassy side walks. It was a time of unsolicited nicknames (because we all knew a “China” or “Blou” or “Koppe”) and anyone’s parent was allowed to give you a group spanking if you misbehaved.
Back then, the unspoken rule was that when your time for schooling came, you would attend one of the public schools in the area. I mean, my parents probably knew exactly which primary school and high school I would attend before I hit five years old. There were only so many to choose from in our neighborhood.
Sure, some of our more fancier friends were carted to and from the “white areas”, attending posh schools with exorbitant school fees that our parents could not afford. They wore blazers and hats and sometimes spoke in accents and had derby days and cool extra mural activities.
The rest of us would walk to and from our public school (mostly in groups), stopping to buy 20 cent packets of “samoosa leaves”, “bompies” and “wind chips” along the way. We probably didn’t have the same opportunities as our fancier friends but I must say, my years at public school was pretty legit. I made great friends, had excellent teachers, participated in all the activities (seriously… ALL) and even entered my high school’s beauty pageant (no jokes). I would say that I had a well-rounded schooling experience.
This week, while Hubstopher and I were chatting about finding the right school for our little girl, all of these thoughts popped into my head, you guys. I mean, we want to give our kids the best life possible.
We want them to have the best birthday parties, and get them the best equipment for that hobby that they love. We want them to make really good friends who will stick with them through the bad stuff. We want our kids to find the job of their dreams and hey, eventually meet the one who will want to make them happy for life.
And, as we were chatting about all of this, I realized that schooling plays a big role in how it all turns out. I want my kids to have the same amazing experiences I had, when I was at school. And hey, I’m not naive, I know that we can’t control everything and that a lot of it depends on the child’s attitude. And anyways, sometimes you have a really stinky schooling experience, but still end up with a great life. I know. But still.If the little bit that I can do includes finding the right school for her, then I will darn well make sure I do the best job doing so.
And so the investigation starts, as I hop from one school website to another, trying to find the school that will fit our needs. Things that come into play are:
1. Location – Is the school in close vicinity to our jobs or home? What will transportation needs be like?
2. Aftercare facility – Are there aftercare facilities close by, that won’t cost, you know, the same price as your mortgage per month.
3. Affordability – This is a big one. I often talk about how school fees x 4 is the mood kill in our marriage. Okay, that’s me being dramatic. But seriously guys, if we’re wanting to add one more kid to the mix, we need to consider how much we’re willing to spend on school fees and aftercare fees. Also, some schools have really unnecessary extra expenses that I just can do without, thanks.
4. Extra-murals – My girl child is going to be a total replica of me… I can feel it! Kyle isn’t really one for extra murals, but this girl of mine will probably do as much as possible, and I love that! So we’re also looking for a school that is rich in extra-murals, artsy and cultural activities.
5. Values and school culture– Since we are Christian, our first prize would be a school with strong Christian values and beliefs.
6. Academics – Besides for having great teachers, the ideal school will also have a lot of support structures in place. Class size is also important and would play a big role in whether we sign up or not.
7. The fluffy stuff – Other little things that I would look out for is to find out which school her friends are going to. I mean, it wouldn’t entirely change my mind, but it is an important factor, in my opinion. I love chatting to other moms, with kids in grade 1, to find out what their experience has been like at the school that their kid attends.
We’ve narrowed it down to 3 schools and will be applying to all of them. But boy, has it been a trip! I’m telling you guys, parenting is a headache. The best kind! I mean, if you consider the fact that your decisions will kinda impact the type of grown up your child becomes, suddenly choosing a school is more than just a “which one is more popular” and “which one is more impressive” game. Right?
Anyways, after all of that monologue-ing, I would like to hear from you guys. What type of factors did you consider, when you were choosing a primary school for your little one? Share your advice in the comments section below.
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When is cow’s milk safe for my toddler?
My bully beef baby boy is growing so well, you guys! His budding personality and infectious giggles are the highlight of our day (Kari included!) and we love watching him grow into a real little boy. On his first birthday, I had begun to wean him off formula, introducing a growth milk slowly. My wallet enjoyed the relief! My Hubstopher appreciated the efficiency behind simply pouring, versus the mind-numbing time suck that comes preparing formula bottles in the middle of the night.
And then, the unthinkable happened. It was 11pm, on a Sunday night, and we had run out of growth milk. I don’t know, somewhere along the line, my spreadsheet brain forgot that we needed to stock up! Aaack! The shock! The horror! I knew that baby boy would be waking up soon, for his feed, and I had to make a plan quick!Enter: cow’s milk.
I must admit, I was going against what I thought was my better judgement. But I had no other choice. I decided to give the kid cow’s milk, hoping that his digestive tract wouldn’t, you know, explode on me. And guess what, you guys, he loved it. Granted, I had to mix a little bit of his growth milk with the cow’s milk (for the taste). But ever since that day, he exclusively drinks cow’s milk and his tummy has yet to show me the middle finger.
So, in true spreadsheet style, I decided to Google cow’s milk and whether I’m being the worst parent in the world, for giving a 14 month old milk from the udder of an animal. (So dramatic). Here’s what I found, you guys:
1. It’s high in protein and salt Cow’s milk has a high content of protein and salt, making it unsafe for infants under the 12 month mark to consume. It’s just not as easy for them to digest. But once your kid has had that first birthday, their digestive systems are mature enough to digest animal milk proteins.
2. Milk allergy is a real thing
Food allergy’s occur when your immune system tries to protect you against something that you may have eaten. Because your body is trying to work this foreign matter out, you are left with symptoms, which we would then recognize to be an allergy. Introducing your baby, too early, to cow’s milk could cause damage to the digestive system, resulting in milk allergy. Should you introduce cow’s milk to your toddler, and it doesn’t agree with them, the following are symptoms of a milk allergy: wind, bloating, diarrhea, stomach rumblings and aches, rashes around the mouth and chin, itchiness and swelling, vomiting and nausea.
3. Cow’s milk is amazing
Cow’s milk is a rich source of calcium and vitamin D, which helps to build strong teeth and bones, and is crucial for bone growth. Milk also provides protein and carbohydrates, giving your toddler all the energy he needs (you know, to jump on your couches and write on your walls with permanent marker…kidding!) Introducing cow’s milk to your child’s diet, as early as 12 months old is a great idea! This will set him up for a lower risk of stroke, high blood pressure, colon cancer, and hip fractures later in life.
4. What about fat-free and low-fat milk?
Whole milks are preferred, when it comes to your toddler, unless a doctor has recommended a low-fat milk due to high risk for obesity. Kids need a higher fat content of whole milk, anyways, to help them maintain their normal weight gain. Whole milks also assist the body in the absorption of vitamins A and D.
5. Is there such a thing as “too much milk”?
Yes, yes there is. Giving your child more than 4 cups of milk a day may affect their diet, since the milk will keep them full. If your toddler is thirsty, offer water, but since your toddler should be eating soft foods by now, try not to offer a milk bottle too often. This is one of the reasons why I loved the switch! My kid wasn’t eating solids as often as I would have liked and it was because the growth milk (and formula) sustained him and acted as a meal replacement.
References:
Parent 24
Babycentre -
Should we be raising more racially aware kids?
You may or may not be familiar with the story of a school in the North West, that left parents fuming after a picture circulated showing that the black learners were sitting separately from the white learners in the class.
A mother of one of the black grade R learners, from Laerskool Schweizer-Reneke, reported a case of racism, after she had received a pic in the class’s Whatsapp group, showing the obvious separation between the black and white children.
The teacher had explained to one of the black parents (upon drop off) that she was planning to rotate them during the course of the day, since they were still easing into this whole “big school” thing. (You’ll find a link to the video of the parent explaining this here.) During the course of the day other pics were sent to the Whatsapp group showing how this rotation happened.
Social media was ablaze with people sharing their thoughts and opinions on this disgusting event. The Department of Education got involved, the teacher was suspended and I believe the Principals job is on the line too. I mean, rightly so… right? This is obvious racism, right?But, Pam, I’ve got questions.
And it has a lot more to do with my parenting and a lot less to do with whether or not the teacher was racist. Hear me out:
Should we be forcing our children to have friends from different races?
The teacher assumed that kids naturally gravitate towards what is familiar to them, especially in a new setting. The “familiar” in this case is skin color and language. I kinda get it, because I’ve had colored friends who attended “mixed race” schools but found themselves hanging out with other colored kids on their first day at school. So if the teacher is right, are we saying that our children are racist, because they naturally gravitate towards someone who reminds them of themselves? Is this something we should be addressing?
Or do you find that your children does not see color? Should we be working towards a South Africa where our children don’t see color, or where our kids are mindful and respectful of each persons cultural differences?
Parents, do you actively ensure that your young child has friends from all race groups? Is this something we should be taking more seriously? I mean, come on, we want to raise kind, smart and well adjusted little South Africans, who are free of this negative spirit of Apartheid. But I’m wondering if we should be forcing our kids to be friends with Sipho AND Johan just because we want them to appear to be racially inclusive. Or would that be harmful?
Should we even be making our children aware of things like skin color, or do we want them to remain innocent to the whole race debacle?
I can’t guarantee you that my four year old is going to enter a new classroom, on her first day at “big school”, and pick a seat in between a white child and an Indian child, you know, just to make sure that there is enough racial representation around her.
I wasn’t there (and neither were you) so we don’t know if the teacher was being racist. (i.e. Racist: a person who shows or feels discrimination or prejudice against people of other races, or who believes that a particular race is superior to another.)
But I do know that the treacherous era of Apartheid broken us so much that we shouldn’t even be toying around with concepts like “segregation” and “exclusion”. And we definitely should not be crying “racist” so easily, especially if we don’t have all the facts. And especially not if its’a teaching moment for our kids!
I’m not saying don’t call the obvious racism out… heck no, Hector, you definitely need to! Our country depends on it! But because of our people’s difficult past, using the word “racist” is such a big deal now. It kinda makes us point fingers at each other again.
And when it comes to the way we raise our kids, you guys, we play a big role in the future of our country and how inclusive it will be. So this is where you come in, Mom. I want to know if you think that we should be raising kids who are color blind or should we be making our children aware that we are all different colors, but we’re the same inside. (Was that a bit gross? Hahaha)
I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter. Please do drop me a comment below.
Disclaimer: Comments will be mildly moderated, you know, just in case.
EDITED: I’ve changed some of the info I shared about the case, on the 18/1/2019, after someone pointed out that my information was incorrect.
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Moms, have you heard about the ‘Fiver Party’ trend?
What if I told you that “no gift parties” are the new in thing? Yes, I’m being serious. Okay, let’s start at the beginning. Hands up, if you’ve been to more kid’s parties in one year, than you’ve been to actual, grown up parties. In fact, taking your children to birthday parties is high up on the list of standard “things to do when you’re a parent”. But the thing is this, guys, it can get quite pricey if you’re attending copious amounts of birthday parties on the regular!
Well, one genius mom came up with the “Fiver Party” concept and it’s now trending in America and Canada.
A Fiver Party is basically a birthday party where all guests are encouraged to bring money ($5) towards a big ticket present that the birthday boy/girl’s parents would buy. Yes, you heard me Margaret. Instead of trekking to the shops to find that reasonably priced (but it doesn’t look too cheap, ya know?) gift, you can literally chuck some cash into a cute birthday card and take that along with you to the party.
Moms, all around the world, have expressed mixed emotions with regards to this concept. I mean, think about it. How would you feel about taking a R50 note to a birthday party, instead of a gift? Some are calling it tacky. Other’s say that it just doesn’t feel right to go with nothing but the cash. Other moms include cute stickers or a sweet treat, with the moola…. just so that it doesn’t feel empty.
But the vast majority love the idea! In fact, many of them are choosing to have Fiver Parties for their own kids! They say that their children have way too many toys already and it’s a brilliant idea to be able to put all the cash together to buy one big ticket item that the child really wants.
I have mixed emotions about it though. I mean, for starters, some moms just feel awkward about asking guests to bring money to their kid’s birthday party. But also, I really love the intention that goes behind every little birthday gift. My one friend made the cutest little bow-bedecked socks for Kari’s birthday last year. Another friend knew that she loves tutu skirts, and that’s what they got her. Kari was over the moon! Another friend gifted her with awesome reading books, that we’re still using today. I’m a sentimental at heart and I love that we can use these things and know that they were gifted with love.
BUT I’m not totally opposed to a Fiver Party. I love the convenience. It’s money smart (especially if the child is a bit older and is willing to save or invest the cash into something worthwhile). It’s also a great way to ensure that your kid isn’t focused on getting as much as possible… nipping that materialistic spirit in the bud. Besides who wants piles and piles of unused toys in their house, right? Your Fiver Party can even fund an experience (a trip to a cool destination or maybe an adventure that your child has always wanted to try).
Anyways, here’s where you come in, friends. What do you think about the Fiver Party concept? Let me know in the comments section below.
If you’re keen to host a Fiver Party, but not sure how to ask your guests for cash instead of a gift, you can use one of the samples below:
Sample 1
This is a NO GIFTS party, since we’re trying to help (NAME) focus on the joy of spending time with friends, rather than on receiving gifts. For those who would still like to bless (NAME) you’re welcome to gift him with no more than R50 that he can put towards something special he’s saving for.
Sample 2
Please note that gifts are not required. If you would like to give one, you are welcome to help (NAME) buy that big gift that he has his eye on. You can pop your card and cash gift into the gift box at the party.
Sample 3
This is a NO GIFTS party. Instead, (NAME) is proud to be able to raise money for his favorite charity. (NAME) will use half of the money collected to buy a small gift for himself and then donate the rest to (CHARITY NAME).
Sample 4
(NAME) is having a fiver party! She is saving for a (BIG TICKET GIFT) so if you choose to bring a gift, she would appreciate a R50 in a card.
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Your children are watching you
Your children are watching you. Yes, that sounds like the synopsis of an Alfred Hitchcock movie. Ooooooooh.
Okay, my cryptic opening line may have you scratching your head and reaching for your phone to scroll through Instagram. Sorry, Candice. I was having a moment. But now that I’ve pulled myself towards myself, allow me to explain.
The other night I realised that my kids were watching my behavior. In a nutshell: one of my kids let slip that they could see how annoyed I was “the other day”. I literally did a double take, because, dude, I wasn’t annoyed on that day. Maybe it’s just my face. Seriously.
But it got me thinking: maybe my spreadsheet brain (aka the way I run my household) comes across as being annoyed or angry all the time. When, in retrospect, I’m just trying to get chores done so that we can all chill!
But what do the kids see?
What do they see when I’m annoyed with hubby (even though I’m low-key not thaaaat angry). Or when the lady bumps her trolley into mine at the supermarket, and I give her a death stare. Or when I come home from work, ready to vent and end up speaking so much nonsense about my co-worker because she deserves it.
What type of “normal” am I instilling in my kids?
I had this revelation a few years ago that as wives and women in our homes, we set the tone and the atmosphere, to a large extent. I guess this varies from home to home, so I can only speak for myself but I do believe that as a mom and wife, you have the power to manipulate the energy in your house. And your response to a situation is the best teaching tool for your kid.Last night, for example, “someone” (okay, fine, it was me) had forgotten to buy electricity (we have one of those box things). So we sat in the dark for like an hour. When the power shot off, I could feel that anger bubbling. Man, I was so pissed off at myself AND my Hubstopher, because he was meant to remind me to get the electricity token.
It was one of those moments of anger where I didn’t feel like caring what everyone else was going through. I just wanted to bathe in my anger, as if it were a bed of roses, and pretend I was Madonna.
But the atmosphere at home was already pretty somber, since we had to sit around and wait while Hubstopher drove around trying to find an outlet that was “online” to get the electricity token. And that’s when I had one of those “a-ha” moments where I remembered that I have the power to change the atmosphere in my home. This was a teaching moment. So instead of acting cray, I gathered my kids and we sang songs together. Literally, a whole karaoke experience, in the dark. It was the best time!
The night could have turned out so differently and I probably would have gone to bed hating on my hubby and knowing that my kids are walking on eggshells because mom is angry. Instead, they (hopefully) learnt a lesson in “taking da lemons and making da lemonade.” (Totally said that with a Jamaican accent).
Anyways, what’s my point? Well, I guess my point is that sometimes all we need to do is take a breath and ask ourselves: “how do I want this to turn out?” and “how can I positively impact the atmosphere in my home”. And, more importantly: “what do I want my kids to see?”
