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Mean Girls: Are you one of them?
Mean girls. You know who they are. The “know it alls” disguised as “better than” human beings, with the overbearing amount of opinion and the distinct desire to share it (to your face or behind your back). They know better. Scrap that: They know BEST. And they have a group of friends who agree. If you aren’t doing things the way they do it, then you are SO outdated/dumb/naive that surely the main dinosaur from Jurassic Park is more “with it” than you.
Mean girls. They are everywhere. Cleverly disguised like Leon Schuster. You know you’ve been “mean girl’d” when you suddenly feel the need to fabricate the truth behind where you bought your jersey (Mr Price. On sale. 4 years ago.) Or the times when you address a group of people and it’s as if they’ve all suddenly gone deaf… at the same time… because no one acknowledges you. Or worse, they do acknowledge you, in the worst kind of way, and you feel as if you’re an insect underneath a magnifying glass.
On a hot day. In Durban.If I am allowed to keep it real, and I shall, allow me to point out that “mean girl syndrome” is not only a high school thing. I was “mean girl’d” all through my 20s and did not even know it until I got home one day and thought of a clever answer to someone’s reoccurring snarky remarks (don’t you hate it when that happens?). It got me thinking: why am I still fighting this battle?! Adults shouldn’t have to be mean girls. We are adults for goodnessakes! We have other things to think about! (Bills, kids, supper, is Madonna STILL releasing albums?!) But nope, it’s still there.
Like a ninja. Hidden, but everywhere.Now a days you’ll find the “mean girl syndrome” strewn all over social media in the form of “wisdom”. You know what I’m talking about… It’s the people who seem to be sitting around, waiting for someone to update their status so that they can leave a snooty comment, explaining why your thinking is of a lower intellectual level than a spoon. Sometimes they’ll go that one step further and update their status with subliminal messages aimed at putting others down or “on their place” (as is the aim). Everybody is wrong. Except them.
Yep, mean girls. You’ve either felt a little less of a human being because of them OR (let’s be honest) you’ve been one of them. Hey I’ll put my pride in my pocket and admit that I’ve been ‘mean girl’d’ AND I’ve been the mean girl on many occasions.Let’s think this one through… Have you purposefully avoided someone because they’ve annoyed you or did and said things differently to how you do? Or maybe you snicker behind someones back, with one of your friends, because “does she even know how weird her hair style is”? Or maybe you have the innate desire to ‘school’ people on Facebook… in the queue at the shops… while you’re driving… At the parent/teacher meeting (and you’re not even the teacher). Hmmm… a bit of self-reflection is needed.
So how do we nip the “mean girl” spirit in the bud? I think it all boils down to identity and being secure in who you are. It is such a big lesson to teach our young girls. Value yourself! You are important! You are unique!
Getting these foundations down will help them to grow into confident, bold, women who are aware of other peoples emotions. You don’t need to break some one else down, in order to feel bigger. I always ask Hubstopher: “Do you KNOW who I AM?” – Meaning, I am aware that I am precious, valuable, intelligent and a child of the King. Knowing who I am leaves no room for ANYONE to make me feel bad about myself. But it also makes me aware of the little things that do not add value to me (eg. when I act like a poophead = not adding value).
Anyways… so there you have it. Oh and yes, Mean Girls happens to be my most favorite movie of all times. It’s like SO fetch!
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Do amber teething necklaces work with voodoo?
I often find myself in mommy chat circles, debating whether or not the amber teething necklace actually works. Some moms claim that if you see results, it’s probably the placebo effect (i.e. your mind is playing tricks on you, crazy lady). Others swear by the amber beads and claim that it has done wonders for their teething toddlers. My hubstopher, on the other hand believes that it’s voodoo and that we should keep it as far away from our children as possible. My spreadsheet brain and I had to get to the bottom of this madness!
So, I did what any sane ‘spreadsheet brained’ person would do. I Googled, of corse! Some websites (usually the ones who are promoting the beads) say that amber is reputed to boost the immune system and assists with reducing inflammation and accelerating the healing of wounds, because it contains and releases succinic acid. Apparently it’s been used as a soother for teething babes for many years now. As per Wikipedia, amber has been used for its healing properties since the time of Hippocrates in Ancient Greece through the Middle Ages and up until the early twentieth century. Interesting.
The packaging of my string of amber beads says that amber is not actually a stone, it is fossilized tree resin from forests that were flooded by the sea millions of years ago.The packaging also says “we believe that the power to soothe pain attributed to amber lies in the fact that it creates an electromagnetic field which enhances the human frame of mind.” Hmmm… sounds a bit voodoo-esque, right?
Opposing websites, such as Science or Not, de-myths the amber beads story. The website goes into detail, breaking down the components that make up amber. In their explanation, researchers explain that your baby would need to be exposed to quite a large amount of succinic acid, over a long period of time, in order for it to take effect. In a nutshell, many doctors and scientists say that the idea behind a string of amber beads reducing teething symptoms is ridiculous and a chocking risk (even though the string is really short and the beads supposedly break easily – to avoid strangulation).
Surprisingly enough a lot of moms swear that amber beads gave their baby a bit of relief during the terrible teething woes. I was willing to try it (while monitoring my baby closely), to see if it worked.
I tested the beads to see if they would assist with relief from
– Constant drooling
– Rash on my babies face
– Pain and uncomfortable behavior
The result, after using it for 1 week
– The drooling seemed to ease up to the point where she did not have to wear a bib anymore. This was a big deal for me, since she had been drooling lots and I’ve constantly had to change her tops and bibs, to keep her dry. (Also, hello, bibs can totally like, ruin an outfit, darling!)
– The rash is still there and comes and goes. Not a fan. I honestly thought the rash was due to the drooling. Hmm, it seems I don’t know it all – but shh don’t tell my hubstopher.
– She still has moments of discomfort, which is the norm. I cant tell if the levels of teething pains have decreased though. Unless I’m about to break out in baby babble, which I’ve graduated from, many years ago.
In conclusion
Although 1 of the 3 symptoms eased up, I’m not about to put my name on an official document stating that the stuff actually works, yo. But yes, the drooling stopped soon after using the beads. And no, I did not detect any signs of voodoo whatsoever.
However, I must caution you to remove the beads from your sleeping baby and to monitor baby during “awake” times too. I don’t know, but having something around my babys neck gives me the jitters! And as one website asked: Is the (supposed) benefit of wearing these beads greater than the risk? That, Mommy, is a decision you will have to make for yourself.
But did it kill you? Well then, keep quiet!
Hold on – Let me descend from my proverbial soap box before I fall off and hurt myself!
There. That’s better. Whew! This post was suppose to be about complaining. But as I began typing, I realized that I was complaining about… well… complaining! It was a full circle moment for me. A little voice inside asked me: Luchae, but did it kill you? And no, it did not kill me. I’m still very much alive, thanks. But it got me thinking about how easily we allow our emotions to spill out of our mouths.
We have SO much to say about life, the economy, the government, our next door neighbor, our bosses, and the beat goes on. We’re not living in the easiest of times (although, hey, I’d take today over 600 years ago’s wiping your bum with a banana leaf situation) and yes, there are many reasons why it’s easier to feel more negative than positive. But my question to you is: but did it kill you?
Chances are, it did not kill you. (My reasoning is that you’re still alive right now, so I’m pretty sure that I’m right about this one.) And if it did, in fact, NOT kill you, what’s the point in moaning about it? You’re alive! You still have air in your lungs and purpose running through your veins! That should be motivation enough to be the best you can be.
In my attempt to avoid speaking (and thinking) negatively, I try to stay away from negative conversations. You know, the whole “accept the things you can’t change, change the things you can, and know the difference between the two” and “stay silent if you don’t have anything nice to say” shpiel. It’s actually not bad advice.
I’m also so mindful about what I consume on social media. I mean, social media has wonderful perks but, when used incorrectly, it can be such an easy way to spread hatred, lies and negativity. Not a good look.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that life and death is in the power of the tongue – the Bible says so in Prov 18:21. This means that you have the power to create with your own mouth! You can choose whether you want to speak blessing or curses – which may seem a bit “Liewe Heksie”, but by that I am referring to speaking positivity vs speaking negativity… speaking life verses speaking death!
Not sure whether you can pull this whole “speaking life” thing off? Well, here are a few filters you can use, before letting your words misrepresent you.
Ask yourself
Does, what I have to say, build up or tear down?
Are my motives for saying this good or bad?
Is this meant to be confidential?
Is this truthful, partly truthful or do I have no proof at all?
If the person I am talking about was present, would I still say this?
Something to think about today! I, certainly, have a lot to repent about and am definitely going to be more aware of what comes out of my mouth. How about you?
Maternity photography: how to keep it classy
Do preggy photo shoots make you cringe? Well, they don’t have to! In fact, there are really stunning maternity photography ideas online. Okay, okay, I’ll admit, while prepping for my maternity shoot, I found some that literally hurt my eyeballs. But it was a big help because I immediately knew what I wanted (and DIDN’T want) in my photos. Let’s call them the what’s hots and what’s nots of maternity photography, shall we? But hey, see for yourself:
Not hot: I knew that I wasn’t particularly fond of having my undies on display. I didn’t want over the top nakedness either. There are ways of showing off your bump, that does not include exposed nipple. I’m convinced. (Not sure what the tyre is doing in Pic 2 there. But yeah, that too.) 
Not hot: I knew that I wanted to incorporate something that I really love into my shoot. Which is what guy with gun (Pic 1) is probably trying to demonstrate? With that said, I wanted it to look like I’m not a crazy person (reference to Pic 2). Also, yes, I had to deal with stretchmarks (don’t we all, Kim Kardashian?) but I wasn’t about to make it a permanent feature in my maternity photos. 
Not hot: I never fully understood why the dad has to be naked in maternity photos. Why dads? For the love of all that is good, WHY?! I wasn’t comfortable with having my hubstopher’s skin on display. He’s not pregnant, anyways. I am. So that settled it. 
So with all of this in mind, this is what my maternity photo shoot ended up looking like:
Maternity photography: How to prepare
1. Know what you want and what you don’t want! Get pics to show the photographer.
2. Get your hair did! Get your make up did! You need to feel beautiful and like the babe that you are!
3. Decide on whether you’d want specific props or things to feature – try to make the shoot uniquely you.
4. Take snacks and have a nap before the time!
5. Make sure your photographer has a heater in studio (weather dependent). It was quite chills on the day of our shoot and our photographers heater really helped.
6. Explain to Dad that you carry the cargo, so you are the main feature 🙂 Dads are usually very understanding about these kinda things. He must also decide on the full extent of his nakedness in these pics.
7. Find out by your photographer if she/he has a preggy/newborn package. Some photographers have really sweeet deals which includes your newborn photo shoot.
8. Try to remember that you’re still sexy and drop dead gorgeous. So you don’t have to have a cheesy “yeah, I’m a whale right now but that’s okay I’ll just smile” look on your face. Flirt with the camera. Try.
9. Most photographers understand that mommy can only sit in certain positions for a short period of time, before it becomes uncomfortable. Don’t be too timid to speak up if you’re not happy.
10. Have fun!
Booby love
One of the best things about being my daughters mommy is that I get to do something that no one else can – I get to feed her. Its so strange that there are so few who share my sentiments and I’ve had to explain my decision to breastfeed to a few more people than I’d care to explain myself to. It makes me wonder what on earth goes through the minds of sane human beings who look at me with “this girl is crazy” eyes when I mention that I love breastfeeding and I will do it for as long as baby girl needs me to. I mean, since when has processed, lab made milk been better than the milk that God had intended mommy’s to make for their baby’s? To each their own, I guess.
I think that the suckiest part of breastfeeding is the fact that I had to go back to work after 4 months and didn’t get to feed her as much as I wanted to. I did go through a few weeks of breast pump mayhem, but had to then start topping up with formula, since I was not pumping enough at work to send home for the next days feeds. She now gets about 3 formula bottles per day and then the rest of her feeds are mommy’s milk.
I know that it would be easier to simply just give her the formula bottles and quit the breastfeeding (especially when I feel like I’m about to explode after a whole day of not feeding her and not pumping) but nothing beats the bond that we share after a long day of work and nanny!
So, for now, I’m okay with the accidental spills when I’ve failed to bring my breast pump to work. And I’m okay with looking like I’ve just went for DD cup breast enlargement surgery after 4pm each day. It’s all worth it in the end!
Weirdest (and quickest) way to dry up a cold sore
Ever wake up with a tingling on your lips… and no, I’m not talking about passionate kisses. I woke up with the worlds ugliest cold sore ever! And it’s not even cold. Where is the justice?! This thing is so ugly, it needs to be contained and thrown into a deep, dark pit of fire. I, of course, did what any rational human being would do in a dilemma such as this: I Googled a solution!
Some of the advice Google threw at me:
– Drink Lysine tablets
– Rub salt (literally in my wounds)
– Soak my lip in alcohol (those days are long behind me, buddy)
– Rub someones pee in it. I know, right?
– Apply ice
– Buy some cold sore ointment
The last one is the one that made more sense to me, so I got me some Acitop at the chemist. I didn’t need a prescription for it, so that was pretty cool already. I knew I had found a winner. I dabbed on a little a heck of a lot and sat at my desk at work, looking like I had rabies. Hey, I’m not complaining coz within half an hour, the monster seemed to have shrunk somewhat. I am now sitting with a small little blister that needs to be dried out. The worst is over folks. Please, move along, nothing to see here…
Anyways, so I decided to contact Google again to finds ways to dry up the blister.
I was advised to:
– Mix salt and toothpaste, apply and walk around like that
– Mix alcohol with something and do something with it
– Apply some nail polish remover every few hours
Yep, you guessed it, I am currently sitting with a cutex-remover-lip. Nail polish remover! On my lip! It actually really works ya’ll! Apparently the acetone, in the remover, dries the blister right on up. Obviously you need to take precaution and I have been applying Labello to the area around the infected part, so that the remover does not affect my skin etc. But this actually works, folks! My pleasure.
Duh! Yes, you’re suppose to read my mind!
Sometimes I wonder what God was thinking when He created the female brain. Coz I sure as heck don’t understand it. And I’ve got one! I was just pondering on the fact that sometimes I want Chris to do something, but I don’t want to have to say it. My thought processes are normally like:
I’m fine! 🙂
I am SO not fine with this and if you don’t know that I’m not fine then grrr!
No, its cool you don’t have to do it! 🙂
Boy, you BETTER do it, if you know what’s good for you!
What makes you think I’m upset?? I’m not upset 🙂
AAAARRGH!!
I dont mind if you do that! 🙂
Gasp! How dare you! Is nothing sacred anymore?!
Ladies, do you feel me: there are some things that men are just suppose to get, right? Like, hello, you cannot watch rugby on Valentines Day and expect me to be okay. And no, you cannot take your friends to our secret romantic spot and “chill”. Some things are just suppose to be known. For everything else, there’s MasterCard. (As in, buy me food and we’re good).
But then, reasoning kicks in and I realize that I might need to give the poor guy a break. I mean, it makes me realize why he is always quiet when he thinks I’m upset – maybe its because he’s not sure whether I actually am upset. He’s just suppose to KNOW that I’m upset!! Why should I tell him?! Hmmf!!!!
Anyways, point: I do believe that I need to ease up on the guessing games. How will he know if I don’t tell him. Right? I mean, who am I, Professor Brain Doctor, trying to teach him how to pay attention to my every need and stuff? If I want an ice cream cone with chocolate sprinkles, I say “Hi, please can I have an ice cream cone with chocolate sprinkles?” and if I get the wrong one, then I can throw him with a chair or something. But why throw the chair if he doesn’t even know you want chocolate sprinkles? Save the chair until you have a good enough reason. The chair will always be there. The chair is faithful. The chair can be stowed away in a corner, half concealed, to serve as a threat and a reminder. Okay now I’m rambling.
If women are from Venus and men are from Mars, then this means that they should have a highly developed sense of ESP. This is my story and I’m sticking to it.
