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Is having a first birthday party necessary?
The other day I had a brain fart moment, struggling to remember what we did to celebrate Kyle’s first birthday. Keeping in mind, the kid is a million years old already and his first birthday probably happened when I was 12 (I was a teen mom, remember) and reckless and not Martha Stewart enough to find serviettes that matched cleverly picked out balloons. Yep, feelings of “bad mom” befell me faster than the speed of light and I had to calm myself down, because, let’s be honest, the kid probably doesn’t even remember his first birthday. (I asked, so I’m sure) But wait, hey, this means that none of my kids remember their first birthdays. Right? And if they don’t remember, then why the heck am I trying to find serviettes that matches cleverly picked out balloons for Jo’s first birthday?! I mean, does any of that even matter? Is having a first birthday party necessary?
If you’re able to spend those extra ronds on an elaborate first birthday party – that’s amazing! Celebrate your baby, girlfriend! You’ve managed to parent the kid for a whole year without losing your sanity. It’s a milestone worthy of celebration.
BUT since I have a big family and many a birthday to consider, I’ve decided to not do a big first birthday party for Jo this year. Honestly, the boy is much more concerned with how he can get his own toes into his mouth. Needless to say, my matching serviettes and cleverly picked out balloons will not impress him one bit.
Instead, I’ve opted for a cake smash shoot with Cutepix (Michelle did Kari’s cake smash shoot as well). I love this concept because it documents all the elements of a birthday celebration – the cake, the decor etc – and puts it altogether in one beautiful taken photo shoot, giving us those important first birthday memories (and baby pics to share at his 21st).
But, of course, a cake smash doesn’t include people and fun! So my spreadsheet brain and I decided to have a birthday PLAY DATE! What is a birthday play date and how on earth does it differ to a birthday party or a normal play date, I hear you ask. Good questions, Margaret, good questions. Well…
1. A birthday play date’s emphasis is on the word PLAY. I wanted to incorporate a lot of fun and toys and interaction with other kids HIS age. So yes, that meant that the invite list comprised of “one and unders”… no older kids. And yes, that also meant ALOT of playing because it’s his day and I want him to have fun (and possibly conk out afterwards, hello Greys Anatomy my old friend, how I’ve missed you)
2. The birthday play date would have NO: matching anything, birthday cake, elaborate decorations. Those things don’t matter… well, atleast not to my Jojo. And as for the pics… the cake smash took care of that, remember?
3. The birthday play date’s emphasis was on: Interaction. The mommy’s were encouraged to hang out and chat (I even told them to come wearing flip flops and yoga pants if they wanted) and the kiddies were encouraged to have fun. Instead of focusing on “what must happen next” ala birthday party vibes.
4. The birthday play date allowed me to celebrate my baby boy but it was minus the formalities, minus the stress and minus the copious amounts of spending money I dont have on stuff I don’t need… stuff that is probably not important to my 12 month old. Stuff like matching serviettes and cleverly picked out balloons.The result? Probably the best birthday celebration we’ve had! I’ll share pics and more on what went down tomorrow. But I’d love to hear your opinion: Do you prefer a big birthday bash for your one year old? Or something more low key? How much money would you spend on a first birthday party?
Header image taken by Cutepix. Will share more about the cake smash pics on Friday!
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Creating criminals: How smartphone smart is your child?
I’m totally not hating on the fact that a tablet or cellphone screen can get my kids to leave me alone for a few minutes. I mean, come on, let’s be honest, we need our space (and a hot second to wash the dishes) right? And anyways, my 13 year old can’t get into much trouble online, right? Wrong. The truth is that the new generation of online sexual predator looks a lot like your kid. And as cool and trendy as social media is, you have to question whether it is creating a criminal right under your roof. (Perhaps one who is probably unaware of just how much trouble their actions can get them in.) Which brings me to this question: How smartphone smart is your child?
I sat through a very interesting talk by Social Media Law guru, Emma Sadleir (you may have heard her on 5FM yes) who shared that children has young as 11 years old are now sexting. With access to hardcore pornography (when the pop up banner innocently prompts “click here for fun”, guess what your 7 year old is going to do) our children are seeing things that are way beyond their maturity level and emotional capacity. And once the brain absorbs, it remembers.
Our kids are taking nude pics of themselves, you guys. Emma says that nudes are the latest currency amongst children (some as young as 9 years old) and these images are then sent through to friends and boyfriends/girlfriends under the guise that it will be deleted afterwards. What your little boy does not realize is that once it has been posted or sent, you can’t take it back! Kids are pretty savage now a days and if they find something amusing or shocking, the chances of it being kept under wraps is slim to none. Content follows your child. And guess what parents, it’s YOUR responsibility to make sure that they are aware of the permanence of the internet. Once its out, it’s out.
What we need to teach our children about the internet:
1. You are responsible for the content you create. And guess what, even if you like, retweet or share content, but did not create it, you are associating yourself with it and it can therefore be used against you in a court of law.
2. Sending and soliciting sexual images from an underaged child (even if you are underaged too) makes you a sexual predator! That’s right, it is illegal to get your buddy to send you a pic of his genitals as a joke. It is also illegal to share images of other people, in a compromised position, without their permission.
3. Your child’s school Code of Conduct applies to social media too, even if the images or content your child publishes does not have the school logo or name on it. In fact, the school can strip you of titles and even have you expelled, if they feel that you are bringing the school’s name to disrepute. Taking pics when you are doing something illegal or against the school’s code of conduct can be held against you.
4. Planning to go for a job interview one day? Your employer might Google you for your “online CV” – keep your social media profiles clean!
5. Bullying and cyberbulling is a criminal offence. Children over the age of 14 is considered to have full criminal capacity, in South Africa, which means they can receive jail time!
6. Make sure your location services are switched off! Never ever share sensitive information online!
7. If a friend or boyfriend/girlfriend asks for nudes you have the RIGHT to say NO. You don’t have to explain yourself to this person. If they refuse to accept no for an answer, tell someone.
8. If you are in a Whatsapp group where nudes or illegal behaviour is being shared, get out of the group immediately.
9. If you feel uncomfortable at any time, tell someone.
10. If you would not be comfortable sharing it on a huge billboard in the middle of the city, don’t share it on social media!There is so much to share on this topic. I will be continuing the conversation in a few days, but for now, please use this information to make sure that your child is cyber smart. The more you look after your child’s privacy, the more privacy they will have to look after.
Check out more about Emma on The Digital Law Co website.
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What my kids are playing with: Fisher Price
When it comes to keeping our smallest (and arguably, our cutest) child busy, we’re willing to pull out all the stops. I mean, the kid is inquisitive for days! He usually guns for TV remote controls or a cellphone when we’re not looking. Thankfully, Fisher Price has sent him two of their latest gadgets to try out (big brother Kyle says thank you for that… the remote is no longer being held hostage) and it was so cute to see baby Jo inspect each toy in true Sherlock Holmes style.
Fisher-Price baby’s first activity book
With big sister constantly pretend-reading her own story books, baby Jo was pretty pleased with himself when he got to turn the pages of his own book. The Fisher-Price baby’s first activity book features a variety of different colorful textured fabrics and elements, to stimulate his sensory, cognitive and motor skills. It has a squeaker, crinkly page, peek-a-boo, plastic rings, a rubber teether attached and Jo’s fave – a round mirror. This boy is too clever! He is also a biter. Seriously though, and he only bites me! And now, he also bites his activity book. Winning at life.
Fisher-Price Chime Bell Rattle
Another fave is this Fisher-Price chime bell rattle, that features colorful textured fabrics and elements to stimulate his senses. Well, for starters, it looks pretty cool! I mean, I would totally brag on the play ground if I had this baby. Also, I love the design and that the plastic rings encourages him to work on those motor skills. I’m totally sold on the fact that it can attach to his stroller or baby carrier. I’m tired of looking for toys on the floor of our car you guys. The fact that it’s a rattle impresses him so much, that he bashes it against objects, just to hear it make a noise. Yes, sometimes the object is me. Again, winning at life.
Jokes aside, when it comes to choosing toys for my little one, I always check for SAFETY first! And, let’s be honest guys, it’s worth it to spend that extra few rands for the guarantee that your kid will be safe. Play is the way children learn best. Hands-on play is what Fisher-Price is best known for. With your kid’s development in mind, they develop and design baby gear and toys that will help you give your child the best possible start.You can check out the latest in toys and baby gear on the Fisher Price South Africa website.
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How serious is nappy rash?
We all know that looking after your baby’s skin is important. I mean, you don’t need a rocket scientist to tell you that the skin in the nappy area is the most vulnerable. Sadly, a nappy rash gone out of control can turn deadly, due to hostile bacteria that can affect baby’s health. Scary, right? I mean, it’s just a nappy rash! But pioneer, Doctor Carol Hlela, who is a pediatric dermatologist and a leader in providing quality skin care, for babies in South Africa, shared some interesting tips and information at the JOHNSON’S® Baby Health wet wipes masterclass last week. JOHNSON’S Baby invited myself and a few others to Johannesburg to learn more about baby skin health and I need to let you guys in on it!
The masterclass was hosted by stunning Elana Afrika-Bredenkamp, who facilitated a great discussion regarding baby skin health, alongside the very impressive Professor Carol Hlela and JOHNSON’S® Baby Portfolio Manager, Jacquelyn Paterson.
Dr Hlela shared testimony of babies who have suffered trauma and have lost their lives due to poorly managed skin health. In all honesty, a story like this may not happen to a baby in your circle or my circle, but the truth is, it IS happening! The poor socio-economic conditions, in certain parts of South Africa, make it more difficult for mother’s to properly look after their baby’s skin. And a seemingly annoying nappy rash can get out of control, letting in bacteria that can impact negatively on the child’s health.Why is healthy skin important?
Well Dr Hlela says that the skin serves as a protective barrier that prevents infections, water loss and the penetration of irritants and allergens. Besides for baby skin being up to 3 times thinner than an adult’s, it also loses moisture 5 times faster. The first few month’s of a baby’s life is crucial – so you want to make sure that they are protected from germs and bacteria. Cracked skin allows germs to pass through more easily.How can I keep baby’s nappy area healthy?
Dr Hlela introduced us to the ABCDE steps to protecting the delicate skin barrier of a baby:A – Air: Exposing the area to fresh air frequently and for as long as possible
B – Barrier: Using a barrier cream that provides lipid film to protect against irritants such as urine and stool
C – Cleansing: Making sure to cleanse the area with a baby wipe at each nappy change
D – Diaper: Using super absorbent diapers, changing baby frequently
E – Educate: Educating other moms and care givers to follow the proper nappy hygiene skin care practices
Okay, so what’s the big deal about wet wipes?
You guys, have you ever visited the baby aisle and felt overwhelmed at the vast array of wet wipes available? How do you even know which one to choose?! Well here are a bunch of factors to consider when choosing baby wipes and skin care products:- Make sure the type of fabric used for the wipes is 100% cotton. This will ensure that it is soft for the skin and reduces friction.
- Check if it has gentle emollients to protect skin from damage caused by frequent cleansing.
- Even water has a higher pH level than that of baby skin, sometimes causing dryness. Look for a wipe that is as close as possible to baby’s natural pH level which is around 5.5.
- Mildly fragranced wipes are okay, fragrance-free is better. Not all fragrance is skin appropriate.
- Educate yourself! Read the ingredients! Avoid strong chemicals such as alcohol, soap, triclosan and even essential oils (which can be an irritant),
Why JOHNSON’S®?
I love that JOHNSON’S®Baby takes baby’s skin seriously. All the JOHNSON’S®Baby products are hypoallergenic, dermatologist-tested and paraben-free. They’ve even launched a JOHNSON’S®Baby Healthy Skin Project, in partnership with Unjani Clinics, in a bid to provide thousands of mothers and babies in impoverished areas with access to treatment.Unjani is a sustainable initiative that aims to strengthen health systems in low-income communities throughout South Africa. Dr Carol Hlela helps to educate Health Care Professionals in these communities about baby and skin health. Because of this amazing initiative, more mother’s are now made aware of ways to protect and care for their baby’s skin and JOHNSON’S® Baby even gifts them with product to help them do so.
Dr Hlela agrees that the JOHNSON’S® Two-Step Routine, to keep the skin barrier in the nappy area healthy, is the most effective way to keep your baby’s skin happy. The routine consists of:- Cleansing at nappy change time, using the JOHNSON’S® Baby Wipes. These wipes are made with 100% cotton and 97% pure water and is free of alcohol, soap and essential oils.
- Protecting baby’s skin in the nappy area using an emollient such as the JOHNSON’S® Baby Jelly which spreads easily and contains nourishing oils to soften the skin. Dr Hlela says that because baby has no hair follicles, the petroleum jelly does not “smother” the skin, but rather acts as a barrier.
You guys, have you heard about JOHNSON’S® Baby’s baby barrier cream? The AVEENO® Baby Daily Care Baby Barrier Cream is unscented and suitable for newborns. It’s formulated with colloidal oatmeal to actively soothe and reduce the redness of dry, delicate baby skin.
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Mother’s Day: gifting with intention {Giveaway}
With Mother’s Day nearing, I’m keeping a keen eye out for extra special gifts for my moms. I mean, macaroni necklaces and paint bedecked cards are cute and all, but when the kid is in her thirties (me, I’m the kid), I’m pretty sure the mom expects a little something more. And I get. I totally do. Mom’s have the hardest and most important jobs in the world! And they deserve to be treated like the queens that they are. That’s why my motto this year, while gift shopping, is: Mothers Day gifting with intention!
If your mother is a super woman (I bet ya she is) or if you have any other super women in your life that you’d like to spoil, I highly recommend you pop on over to CUM Books to check out their latest best sellers. I mean, besides for their really amazing Mother’s Day related paraphernalia and gift ideas, they also stock inspirational reads. I love that Christian Art Media has a large foray of books that are both interesting and intentional – leaving the reader with a lot more than just an entertaining story. Here are some of my top picks, that would make really great Mother’s Day gifts. (Oh and I’m giving some of them away too!)
Adamant – Lisa Bevere
Lisa Bevere is a popular international speaker and New York Times bestselling author. This lady is amazing! She has spent nearly three decades on her mission to empower women of all ages, with a mandate to help women find their identity and purpose. I love this so much. You may recall her previous best sellers, Fight Like a Girl, Lioness Arising and Girls with Swords. Well, her latest book, Adamant, is definitely one to get your hands on. The book is described as “theologically deep yet intimately accessible”. In it, she provides you with the tools you need to navigate through a sea of untruths, as we push to find our own truths. A truth that is immovable, invincible, unshakable and the cornerstone of all we are and ever dream to be.
Unexpected – Christine Caine
Australian born Christine Caine is an activist and international speaker. If you know her name, you’ll know that she founded The A21 Campaign – an anti-human trafficking organization. In her latest book, Unexpected, Caine speaks about having peace in an uncertain world. She deals with issues of control (I mean, hands up if you have control issues) and shares about her own journey, giving us real-life strategies and biblical inspiration to help us move from fear and worry to hope and trust in God. Learn how to manage dissapointment, strengthen your heart and build your faith with this glorious read.
Mother Tongue – Leonard Sweet
Leonard Sweet is a professor, teacher and an author of more than sixty books! How is that for impressive? In his most personal book yet, Mother Tongue, he shares a story about an ordained minister and missionary, Mabel Boggs Sweet. This book is full of truths and teachings, and you’ll probably find yourself taking a moment, after each chapter, to let the wisdom sink in. Mabel’s story is one that will have you considering the call of God on your own life. With its focus on heritage and legacy, it will make for a really poignant Mother’s Day gift.
The Way of Abundance – Ann Voskamp
If you guys recall, I’ve reviewed the amazing Ann Voskamp’s previous novels on the blog a while ago. Her new York Times bestsellers One Thousand Gifts and The Broken Way are both amazing reads and I’m so chuffed to introduce her new book to you. In The Way of Abundance Ann tackles topics of grief and brokenness, talks about healing and how to allow it to be a part of your victory. She shares so much wisdom in these sixty vulnerable, soulful stories, and takes the reader through a journey of intimate soul searching and restoration. “Discover how surrendering in unexpected ways is the first step toward receiving what you long for. Discover the good news that your beauty is not in your strength but in your fragility.”
Giveaway!
Are you a mommy or are you looking to spoil a special mommy in your life? You’re in the right place, sister! Thanks to Christian Art Media, I get to give away a couple of these reads to some well deserved mamas, for Mother’s Day! To enter, simply rack up the points the following ways:
1 point – Comment below, letting me know which of these you’re most interested in
1 point – Visit this post on my Facebook account and tag a mommy friend
1 point – Visit this post on my Instagram and tag a mommy friend
1 point per share – Share this tweet:
“Eek, I’m so excited about the #myspreadsheetbrain Mother’s Day #giveaway over on @luchae’s blog! @cartmedia #bloggiveaway #bookgiveaway”Winner’s announced on Friday, May 11th.
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What my kids are playing with: Enchantimals
I always feel like I’m winning at life when I find a toy that keeps my precocious 3 year old busy for long periods of time. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love the little bugger, but she constantly needs to be entertained! And I don’t always wake up feeling like Beyonce, if you know what I mean. So when I received a special Enchantimals blog drop from Mattel the other day, I gave myself a metaphorical high5!
Well, for starters the cute Enchantimal characters are really pretty and their unique features and outfits are simply fabulous, dahhling which means Kari will be instantly hooked. But (and this is the winning part) they also each come with an animal bestie! That’s right, each of these rather whimsical half-animal, half-girl characters has a quirky animal best friend. I love this so much!
The Enchantimals story lines encourage friendship, compassion and harmony, and its “Caring is our everything” slogan sums it up rather nicely. Each doll shares a ritual with her animal friend that celebrates their unique traits and personalities. Together they work to create balance, peace and harmony among all living things.Some of the Enchantimals characters include:
Felicity Fox and Flick – Felicity is a nifty, curious little character, who loves exploring with Flick
Danessa Deer and Sprint – These two love racing through the forest to see who is fastest
Sage Skunk and Caper – A great problem solver, Sage loves music and she and Caper are always working on new songs together or planning a clever prank
Bree Bunny and Twist – This DIY duo has a penchant for creating things and are like twin fountains of bubbling creativity
Patter Peacock and Flap – Patter is a fashionista extraordinaire, and she and Flap enjoys singing together
The Enchantimals are available at selected retailers nationwide. Product princes range from R129.99 to R719.99. The play sets are super cute and your little one will enjoy collecting the various dolls and their matching accessories. You can following along on the Enchantimals journey on YouTube, Instagram and Facebook. -
Living my best mom life with Frusli Cereal Bars {GIVEAWAY!}
I love food. There, I said it. Snacking is like, one of my favorite hobbies of all time. But the thing about snacking is that it can get kind of difficult to snack healthily. I mean, in all honesty, the thought of chewing on a celery stick doesn’t exactly thrill me. Which is why I was so excited when I received a special drop from Frusli – a deliciously crunchy, chewy cereal bar packed with flavor and goodness!
There are many reasons why a worthy cereal bar would excite me more than the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy. For starters, these Frusli bars are individually wrapped, so it’s easy to pop one into your handbag or into your kid’s lunch box. They are also great for ‘on the go’ snacks or if your child is acting the fool in the mall and you need to keep her occupied. (Whaaaat) I also love that it serves as a healthy treat alternative.
These bars are not baked, do not contain added salts, artificial colors or preservatives and the Frusli team (over at Jordans) are committed to using only natural ingredients where possible. They strive to reduce sugar and fat levels without comprising on the taste. These bars are Non-GM and is suitable for vegetarians too!The flavors – oh the flavors – simply delicious! Well, firstly the bars are made with wholegrain cereals (keeping processing to a minimum) and are power packed with healthy stuff such as crunchy hazelnuts and juicy raisins, cranberries and blueberries. The texture is rather chewy and juicy and quite zingy. I love that 25% of it is fruit and that you can actually taste the fruit pieces!
WIN with Frusli!
So what do you think moms? Would you give this a go? Well, Frusli is giving FIVE My Spreadsheet Brain readers the chance to try out their amazing cereal bar. Want in on this giveaway? Okey dokey. Follow the rafflecopter below and keep your eyes peeled to my Facebook page on April 30th to see if you’re a winner! -
What my kids are playing with: Mega Bloks Treehouse Adventures
When it comes to raising actual human beings, there’s so much that one has to consider. I sometimes feel as if I would make a pretty good policeman, yo! I mean, I basically police what they eat, who they play with and what they watch on TV. I investigate every bump and scratch on their bodies. I even check and double check to make sure the toys they are playing with are kid friendly and safe. I take their “toy-playing” very seriously, you guys! Toys, like the Mega Bloks Treehouse Adventures, that provide an educational benefit is a must!
A clever parent (me.. I’m talking about me…) will sneakily use playtime as opportunity for their child to learn. The best type of toys are the ones that engage senses, encourage interaction and spark imagination. The Mega Bloks Treehouse Adventures from Fisher Price helps with this!
This 120-piece play set includes colorful building blocks and special parts such as a moving swing and a window that really opens. The easy-to-build tree house and cottage, with woodland decoration, makes for a complex construction site for little minds. I love watching the wheels in Kari’s head turn as she puts it together.
Her favorite part is when she gets to sit the 2 Block Buddy’s on top of her creation. I’ve probably seen 50 variations of her tree house design and yes, that means 50 over emphasized “wows” as I pretend to be utterly amazed at her sheer brilliance.
The Mega Bloks Treehouse Adventures is ideal for kiddies aged 1 to 5, but clearly our little boetie also wanted in on the action. I totally appreciate that the pieces are not hazardous or a choking risk. Do your kids enjoy playing with blocks as much as mine do?
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Overwhelmed by motherhood
You’ve been there, I know. You’ve been overwhelmed by motherhood, wondering why on earth you ever signed up for this job. The perks are suppose to outweigh the cons, right? I mean, that’s what those soppy feel-good movies imply. And yet, I find myself, perk-less, knee deep in baby poo, day dreaming about the days when I took things like silence, long soaks in hot baths, and audience-less trips to the loo for granted.
I find myself longing for a clean house and a bank account that doesn’t point and laugh whenever I swipe for yet another tin of formula. I stare enviously at friends who have yet to learn just how much it sucks to pay school fees… friends who pack a simple carry-on for a visit to the beach… friends who are able to plan spontaneous trips to quirky little getaway spots, without wondering if there’ll be enough room for bags after installing the car seats.
And just when I’ve reached the end of my metaphorical mommy rope, something strange happens.
My baby boy giggles while I’m giving him a bath. And it’s the most adorable sound I’ve ever heard in my whole entire life! My little girl runs in with a flower and says “for you mama, you’re so pweddy!” and I want to pick her up and squeeze her so tight that she never ever leaves my side ever again! My sons tell me about their future goals and the pride beaming from my chest is enough to make me feel as if I’m the richest person in the world!
And as I watch my children play peek-a-boo together, laughing at each other’s silliness, I realize that this very moment – and others just like it – far outweigh the biggest sacrifices I’ve ever made for them.
Suddenly I want to hold on to them a little bit longer. Snuggle as much as I can, and color-in as many Barbie pages as she needs me to. I want to have those endless conversations about soccer until my brain pops and go on all fours to race after my baby boy just to hear him laugh. I want to dedicate every waking moment of my day to watching them grow and savor this time where they need me so very much. Because once it’s gone, all I’ll have left of their childhood are these sweet memories.
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10 friendship lessons for my daughter
So last night, during bed time, my three year old proudly announced: “Peyton is my BEST fwend! I love Peyton so vewy much!” And I obviously melted into a puddle of mom-feelings. Obviously. I mean, she has a best friend! Aack! In true spreadsheet brain style, I immediately got to thinking that hey I should be teaching my kid how to be the BEST best friend. Best friend etiquette is pretty important, yo. There are rules that she needs to know about. And I’m not talking about the usual “be kind, love each other, don’t get into a fight and slam each other on Facebook” kind of rules. I’m talking about the nitty gritty’s of friendship. Here are 10 friendship lessons for my daughter:
Lesson 1
Your best friend is not your competition. The truth is that you’re both pretty amazing and talented! And even if you have the same talent and the same interests, you’re still unique individuals who add your own layer of flavor to the pot. Cheer her on! Applaud her! Admire her, yes, but never ever compare yourself to her. How would Meredith Grey shine, if she compared herself to Christina Yang all the time?Lesson 2
Your best friend doesn’t have to like the same things you like. I mean, it sure does help when you’re trying to forge a relationship with someone. But best friends occur in the most unlikely of situations. For example: I was totally a Baby Spice while my friend was a Scary Spice… and somehow we made it work!Lesson 3
Best friends stick up for each other in public, but correct each other in private. The beauty of relationship is that we are able to offer advice and crit, with love. I’m talking about those “no honey, using your nail file to sketch your name into the side of his car is a bad idea” honesty. Best friends don’t discourage each other! But that doesn’t mean I’m going to encourage you to throw a brick through his windscreen, girl. Best friends encourage each other to do what is right.Lesson 4
Having each others backs is kind of like a no brainer when it comes to friendship. Be the friend you want her to be. Yes, this may mean following her boyfriend in the mall, like a spy, when you think you’ve spotted him with someone else. It may also mean telling her to dump him, even if he spins her a story. Best buds don’t bully each other, though. And they most certainly don’t pretend to have all the answers! Having each others backs means supporting your girl even when you don’t agree with her decision.Lesson 5
Being best friends means laughing together at the funnies and crying together at the heartbreaks. But it also means helping your bud snap back to reality when that mourning period has been going on for too long and she seriously needs to wash her hair before it turns into a national oil well. I love that my close friends are able to hit me with truth bombs that literally shake me out of my funk.
Lesson 6
Best friends don’t share boys. It’s like, the girl code of the world! Has one girl managed to successfully scoop and marry her friend’s ex-boyfriend, and they all lived happily ever after? Probably. But you’re not the exception. You’re the norm. And until exceptional circumstances arise, causing you to be the exception, you must make decisions as if you’re the norm. Best friends don’t share boys.Lesson 7
Best friends keep your secrets! I know what I said about keeping secrets from your husband. But when it comes to keeping your best friends secrets, your husband should kind of know whats up. If it doesn’t involve a dead body or illegal activity, then you don’t need to know honey.Lesson 8
Best friends don’t gossip. They share information. Gossip is such a dirty way to spread untruths. I’m not a fan, at all! I get that you may want to tell your girl about Jessica’s marital problems, but honestly is it building up or tearing down? Best friends would not want to get their best friend’s heart in a mess.Lesson 9
Best friends never stay angry for too long. I mean, come on, we’re human beings. No one gets this life thing right. Not even Beyonce. We have disagreements, we get upset and we sometimes boycott a relationship just to prove a point. The difference between “a relationship” and a really good friendship is that you know when to say when. Holding a grudge is not the type of thing that a best friend would do, yo.Lesson 10
If you want to be a really good friend, never take more than you give. Best friends don’t take advantage and they never ever act as if your need is a burden to them. Some of my closest girls have the biggest hearts and I’m just so amazed at how kind they are! Best friends become family!So what do you guys think? Are there any other lessons that I should add to this list?
Images: These are the actual photos taken at my actual wedding by the wonderful Donna van der Watt Photography
