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Is being mean a thing now a days?
So the other day I found myself in a stinky situation, with a stinky person, who was acting – yep, you guessed it – pretty stinky. I mean, it wasn’t even as if I deserved the stank. I’m a very diplomatic person and (if you watched my Instastories, you would know) I prefer to not go all Shaneequa on people, when I feel that they’ve wronged me. I don’t do playground cat fights. It’s not my jam. Simply because I get that people are people. I always try to look at the situation with the bigger picture in mind… you know, stuff like: what is the other person going through right now, which factors could be influencing their decisions, am I overreacting, can they prove this in a court of law. You know, that sort of thing. (Kidding about the court of law… kinda).
Anyways, so here I sit, in all my “ke Dezemba” glory (duh, no pants, with an electric fan on full blast in my face) staring at my phone as I continue to get one stinky message after the other. And this after I had, so diplomatically, tried to be kind and understanding and, you know, the light and all of that.
And then I felt it. It was an overwhelming sensation, bubbling from deep down in the pit of my belly. A feeling that I could not control or contain. I tried so hard to ignore it but… wait for it… wait for it….. bleeeeuuuuughghghghghg …. WORD VOMIT. All over my good intentions and diplomacy.
Nice Luchae was straight up mad and rude and uncool and I wanted to say ALL THE WORDS in the world!!! And so I did, you guys.
The result? Well, not as great as I expected. Because, for starters, the recipient of my word attack isn’t all “kumbaya be the light” as I am, and so this person responded with an even worse attack of word vomit. But more than that, I was just bummed that I allowed the crap situation to get the better of me. I mean, I’m not this person. I’m not the type of girl who would lose her cool. Because my spreadsheet brain tells me that losing my ish won’t solve the situation. Staying in control will. My spreadsheet brain reminds me about peace over war, and to love the unlovely and to turn the other cheek. My spreadsheet brain asks me what would Jesus do. My spreadsheet brain… was absent on this day.
Anyways, my point is that I deeply regretted my vent. Because, my friends, there are ways to get your message across and it doesn’t involve calling people names.
Have you guys ever experienced this instant regret after you basically chooned someone their whole fortune? I mean, sure there is the temporary gratification… but do you feel bad afterwards? I always feel bad. Always. And here’s the shocker though… not everyone does (feel bad after they’ve vented all over someone’s day).
It got me thinking: is being mean a thing now? Is it something we celebrate now? We seem to love the Fiona Coins and Gordon Ramsey’s of this world.
I’ve heard people say that venting is their thing. “Oh, I will tell her exactly what I think of her”… I’m sure you’ve heard this before… you know the type of people I’m referring to? I never get them. Who wants to be the person who responds to conflict with a swear word. What does that even mean when you’re deep into your 30’s, and you have kids? What does that even mean, when you’re a professional human being? What does that even mean when you say you love people? How will your harsh words and rants solve the problem, I ask with tears in my navy blue eyes?!
Where’s the room for compassion? When do we make room for grace? How do we show love and kindness? And how on earth can we be celebrating this on our social media (ag don’t look at me like that Patricia) and then we attempt to teach something else to our kids?!
Also, if you have something to say to someone, surely you can do it in a kind/stern way WITHOUT an audience? (That last part is crucial, yo). Surely you can do it without having the need to brag about it to your friend? I don’t know, I’m just sharing ideas here. Let me know if I sound like I’m insane. Hoping I’m not. Because that would mean that the world has turned into one big ol meany pants. And that would suck. (I know. I just said “meany pants”.)
Hit me up in the comments section below. On a scale of 1 to Adolf Hitler, how mean are you?
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Our Christmas Tree Night traditions
Christmas Tree Night is the best thing! Yep, as the name suggests, the night is dedicated to unboxing and decorating our Christmas tree. For us it pretty much marks the start of the festive season and, because of that (and mainly because I’m a loony toon), I kinda made a whole event out of it. Whaaat, tis the season to be extra, fa la la la laaa la la la laaaaa! *cough* Right, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, allow me to share all the deets of a typical “Christmas Tree Night” ‘round about these parts. I mean, one does not simply just set up a Christmas tree. There has to be festivities, food and flair! We are making memories, with our kids, after all! Here’s how it all goes down in our neck of the woods:
The tree
Timing is everything! I usually wait until mid-November to set up the tree because one needs atleast a full 30 days with ones Christmas tree. Right? Anyways, I often get a few new ornaments to add to our growing collection of Christmas tree trinkets. Some of our ornaments holds a special memory, like the red beaded cross Chris and I bought while on honeymoon. We sometimes get really into it and hand craft a fresh batch of ornaments (and by sometimes I’m actually talking about literally one time). If you’re that kind of mom (I’m not that kind of mom), you could make it a tradish: each member of the family could create one new tree ornament to add to the tree each year. Such a cool way to create memories.
The musicSo you must know that when I unleash my inner jingle, I jingle all the way, baby! Christmas Tree Night is usually my way of letting the family know that, yep, it’s Christmas carols time! I have quite a collection of Christmas CD’s (totally unashamed about it) and I’m totally convinced that my collection of Christmas music can turn even the Scroogiest of Scrooges into a festive fairy! As you can imagine, Christmas Tree Night is not complete without some of our favorite carols playing in the background.
The food
You guys, Christmas Tree Night wouldn’t be complete without snacks. (But, I mean, is anything complete without snacks? Rhetorical question, the answer is no.) We keep it light and easy because we cannot share our Christmas tree decorating time with food preparation time. Some of our Christmas Tree Night staples include a bunch of family faves that have been passed down from previous Christmas Tree Nights. And that is how tradition is birthed you guys. Our staples include:
Loaded hot dogs. These are the same as normal hot dogs, except we only have it with freshly made relish (well, its tinned tomato and onion, don’t look at me like that Susan) instead of tomato sauce. I call it “loaded” because you can add a bunch of things to the relish and make it as festive as you want. Go wild with the green peppers, bacon bits and fresh garnish. I usually top it all off with cheese.
Fancy crackers and toppings. The kids love this because it makes them feel all special and grown up-y It’s basically Salticracks with adult-y toppings, you guys. Things like muscles and oysters, cream cheeses and tuna mayo.
Cream buns. As you can tell, the trend, for Christmas Tree Night is to make the food as quickly as possible because I don’t want to be slaving away in the kitchen when everyone else is having fun setting up the tree. So guess what, you guys, I feed my kids store bought cream buns and I feel not one ounce of guilt at doing that. Theresit.
Christmas milk. So I came up with this drink and I know it probably won’t, like, win me an award or anything. I call it “Christmas milk” and it’s literally a mix of custard and normal milk, topped with cinnamon. This is my alternative to eggnog and can be served hot or cold. You are literally going to make your custard as normal, but instead of a thicker consistency, keep it as runny and milky as possible without losing the flavor. Top it up with cinnamon and vanilla sticks and ta da. (Yes, I literally just told you how to make drinking custard. Whatevs. It’s Christmas Milk, okay?)
The traditions
When Chris and I started dating, and it was just four of us, we started this little tradition, where we would each make a paper ornament to hang on the tree. Each of us could cut out our own shape and decorate it with glitters and colors. This ornament was special because you had to write down how God had blessed you over the past year, and some of the things you were thankful for. I’ve managed to keep most of these paper ornaments but I’m so terrified that I will lose them!
And that is how the Christmas memory book was birthed. This memory book will only come out on Christmas Tree Night and each person will get a chance to write down their thoughts, or draw a pic, detailing their past year. (No peeping!) The book is then packed away until next year Christmas when we would all take turns to page through the book before adding our new ones.
Christmas Tree Night is the perfect time to start a new tradition with your kids. How about creating your own ornaments or hanging up special baubles, that represent each member of the family. There are so many fabulous ideas online! Find a few that works for you and your family.
The outfitsI love, love, love the concept of Christmas inspired pajamas, you guys! In fact, I’m totally eyeing some pajamas that I had spotted over on The Milk Memoirs. Christmas Tree Night is a great time to give your kids brand new jammies… I don’t know, wearing something new just increases the excitement somehow. And, I mean, who doesn’t love a cute pair of festive themed pajamas? But hey, if you’re a spreadsheet brain (like me) and you have a lot of children to clothe (also like me), don’t feel bad if you’d rather get, you know, normal pajamas instead. (And by “normal” I mean, jammies that are inexpensive and not themed, so they get more wear out of it.) For my kids, just the whole concept of new jammies is enough exhilaration for them! It’s one of the things that I’m adding to my Christmas Tree Night box, for sure! Btw, Santa hats are a must!
The memories
So you want to be taking all the pics and all the videos, to document all these great memories that you’re making with your family. But, truth be told you guys, I tried to find some decent pics of our previous Christmas Tree Nights and the ones I could find were either too blurry or too dark. When it comes to Christmas Tree Night, we just don’t have time to take pics and videos – there is too much going on! But, still, try to do it, you guys. I promise I’ll try too.
The activitiesSo once you’ve snacked and set up the tree and done all of your traditions, a great way to end the night is with some family games. Games like charades is a really fun and easy way to get some laughs going and you don’t need a board. If games are not your family’s thing, how about ending the night off with a Christmas movie. To be honest, chances are your little ones will be so exhausted after all the fun and excitement that they won’t make it through the movie. (Thank you and you’re welcome).
So tell me, friends, do you also have a Christmas Tree Night? What are some of your traditions?
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Birthday parties: Let the kids play!
I get it, parents of the world. I get it. We want to give our kids the very best! Fair enough. But seriously, when I started planning Kari’s party I knew that it was not going to be a Pinterest-Fest. I had too much going on and the girl kept inviting more and more people to the party! She had a very specific guest list, you guys, so diva. She also insisted that we have an “Anna and Elsa” party. (Yes, Frozen. Sigh.) Anyways, so my strategy for the party was this: let the kids play, man! I mean, seriously, they don’t care about your perfect sugar cookies and matching tee-pee tent. They want to eat a lot of sweets and play until they fall asleep (you’re welcome, mom). And that’s what they did! Here’s the low down:
Venue: Bubbly Kids
We hosted the party at Bubbly Kids – an educare and kids party venue, located in Morningside, Port Elizabeth. The Bubbly Kids event venue offers you a large grassy area (for playtime), and even a pool and braai facilities. My favorite thing about the party venue is that you can literally just pay to hire the place (R1000, for two hours, which includes kids tables and chairs) and that’s it. No other costs! You can literally bring whatever else you’d like to have at your kids party. No special vendors that you HAVE to use and no little hidden fees that you HAVE to pay. I also liked that the venue has an old school jungle gym, to help build those muscles and develop hand-eye-coordination.As an educare, I really like the Bubbly Kids Educare ethos: learning through play. Their trained educators make learning fun for your little one. The classes are colorful and inviting and the setting is relaxed and homely. I mean, isn’t that every parents dream – to send your little one to a playschool/educare that feels like home away from home, right? They daycare caters for kids aged 1 to 4 years old and is open from 06h30 to 07h30. You can learn more about Bubbly Kids on their Facebook page.
Food:
We got some snacks for the parents and hotdogs for the kids. I did not fork out a wad of cash on a designer cake, because seriously. (That’s my reason: seriously) Instead, we had a really pretty (easy to make, but don’t look at me for the recipe you guys, I don’t bake) rainbow cake, that Kari simply loved. The cool Frozen party bags added an element of charm to the kiddies table. These were made by JustEllaBella. It was so funny to see the kids sling these bags over their arm, as they jump on the jumping castle (can’t leave the sweeties behind). But yes, it once again reminded me that the kids are not looking for designer-what-what. They want to play.
Activities:
Besides for the outdoorsy stuff (jungle gym, jumping castle, painted street with cars and bikes to zoom around in, balls etc) we also had an art section, where they could color-in their favorite Frozen pic. I think the highlight, though, was when Anna made an appearance. You guys, I thought Kari was going to cry! Well, I most definitely wanted to cry. The kids then ended up taking selfies with Anna – they were in awe. Best moment ever! If ever you’re going with a character themed party, I highly suggest you do something like this. The kids could not stop talking about Elsa. One little boy said “Wow, I can’t believe Elsa came all the way from Arendelle, to Kari’s party.”At the end of the day, Kari fell asleep telling us what an amazing party she had. Mission accomplished! And I didn’t even have to bust out my inner Pinterest-mom! Winning at life.
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Christmas Crazy: I blame my family for Christmas
I blame my family for Christmas. Most of my childhood memories are centered around the festive season and you guys, this explains a lot about why I’m Christmas Crazy! I mean, growing up, Christmas was always been the BEST time of the year.
I grew up with a bunch of sweet Christmas traditions,that made it really hard to hate the season, if you know what I mean.When I was younger, Christmas usually meant new clothes (right down to the undies, yo), fresh hair, going to church in the morning and coming home to open presents and enjoy family time. In our neighborhood, the kids would go from house to house, to knock on doors and wish aunty-so-and-so a happy Christmas, with the hopes that you’d score a 50c from her. We were always loaded on Christmas day… with coins AND with food. In typical brown people style, the food was always overly excessive… 5 different types of meats, enough salads to start a Spur salad bar, and a fine selection of main courses that would rival even the best buffet restaurants. Oh and when you’re done with your seconds and thirds, there are atleast six desserts to choose from.
My grandmother would set up trestle tables in her living room – for the aunties and uncles of course. The kids would have their own table… and we didn’t mind at all. I mean, we were too busy comparing outfits and Christmas gifts and funny stories. Grandma’s Christmas tree was always the biggest and our eyes would go wide with amazement, as we spotted dozens of gifts under it. Ahh those were the times when aunties and uncles could afford to buy gifts for every single child in the family. These special gifts were placed under Grandma’s tree and, to be honest, they probably were the highlight of the day. Because, hello, you get your presents at home, and then you get even more presents at your grandmother’s house. Double score!
So yes, Christmas has always been the best time for me. I think it’s just because I love presents and food so much. Agree to disagree. Anyways, because of this, I’ve really enjoyed getting into it with my kids, as they grow older. I usually go all Christmas Crazy on the blog too.
And that’s where you come in friends. Is there something specific you’d like to read about, during this festive season? Maybe you’re looking for gift ideas for your mother in law, or perhaps you’d like a super easy Christmas cake recipe. (hmmm caaaake)… Or perhaps, like me, you just have no questions at all, you simply love this season and you want to read all about how much I love it too. Hey, that’s a blog post right there!
Fill me in, guys! Simply drop me a comment below and then keep your eyes peeled to this space as I begin to roll out the cool Christmas competitions and festive blog posts over the next few weeks!
This post was originally published in 2018 and was edited in 2020.
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Giving up is the worst thing
Hands up if you enjoy feeling like a loser. Yes, I see that ‘LOL’, I get it, no one enjoys feeling like a loser. But alas, the world is a fickle place and even if you have all your metaphorical ducks in a row, chances are you pretty much won’t win in every single area of your life, every single time. I mean, we clutch… we flop… we fail. We fall down (take a nap) and get back up again. It’s part of the process. I’m talking about the nap, but yes, the failing is important too. I mean, the failing kinda makes us great.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. And I hear you, girl. You’re thinking, hey Luchae, you shouldn’t be telling ladies that they should aim to fail. What sort of a demented psychopath are you?!
Well, firstly, calm down Harriet, there’s no need for name calling. And secondly, you’re right doll face, you should not be aiming to fail. But if you’re expecting things to be rosy and perky all the time, you’re in for a treat. And by “treat” I mean “rude awakening”.
I experienced an, uhm, rude awakening of this nature the other day and it was not pretty. I totally didn’t even put it on Instagram – it was that ugly. This rude awakening was so rude that it made me feel like giving up. Why bother continuing on this journey, if I’m doing a bad job, right?
And in that moment, I realized what those famous, clever people meant when they said that failure isn’t falling down, it’s refusing to get back up. Giving up is the worst thing.
In my moment of rude awakening, I had to remind myself of this truth. I had to pep talk Luchae into not giving up on, well, Luchae. And then I literally had to pull myself up, and make a mental decision to continue moving towards my God-given destiny… regardless of what was happening on the battlefield.
You see, the way you handle yourself during the battle reveals your true character. This is the stuff that character is made out of. It all forms part of your story. And if you consider the journey, winning or losing isn’t really thaaaat important. In fact I’ll even go as far as to say that every loss is actually a lesson anyways – our flops are actually stepping stones to something greater.
So as I sat there, staring at the very thing that was making me feel as if I suck at life, I decided to pop my collar and do what I do best. No, not eat chips and chocolate at the same time. Instead of wallowing in self pity, I decided to take the bundle of poop that is the situation and magically turn it into a bowl of ice-cream, by adding a dash of positivity, a dollop of forgiveness and a sprinkle of good intention. (I’m sorry, i don’t know why poop and ice-cream is in the same sentence).
I would be a nana head if I allowed this perceived failure to decide how I feel about myself and my future. And anyways, it does not mark the end of the road. It’s a detour. And my favorite thing about a detour (besides for stopping for a snack) is the uncharted terrain that we get to explore, as we navigate towards our destination.
I don’t know why I’m sharing this today. Maybe somebody out there on the interwebs, needs to read it. So if it’s you… if you’re sitting with a massive hurt or failure, on your heart right now… please know that your ending is far more beautiful than you can imagine. Don’t give up now.
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Calm down, your Facebook is probably not hacked
Can you calm down with the frantic status updates… your Facebook is probably not hacked, Margaret. Seriously. It’s all one big hoax and by re-sharing bogus information, you’re kinda just making it worse.
The bogus message usually goes along the lines of: “Hi….I actually got another friend request from you yesterday…which I ignored so you may want to check your account. Hold your finger on the message until the forward button appears…then hit forward and all the people you want to forward too….I had to do the people individually. Good Luck.”
This is just a hoax, you guys. It was probably started to cause fear/chaos. I’m sure most of you are aware of the cloning scam that had been rife in previous months. But Facebook officials say that there has been no serious increase of cloned accounts. (I’ve added links to various articles below.)
For those who don’t know, the Facebook cloning scam takes place when someone steals your profile photo and other information, to create a phony Facebook profile. The scammer sends friend requests to your friends list (using the fake profile), and uses the fake account to send scam messages. This is not the same as hacking your account, since the scammer does not have your log in details. They are basically just making a fake profile, to scam your friends/family with. Not cool, I know.
To check if your account has been cloned, do a Facebook search, using your name. If more than one profile appears, chances are, you’ve been cloned. Simply click on the “Report this profile” button and the account will be removed in 24 hours.
How to protect your Facebook account from cloningI’m sure that after receiving the gazillion messages urging you to not accept duplicate friend requests, you’re kinda wondering if you should be doing something towards making your Facebook profile a bit more protected. Fair enough. Here are a few safety measures that you can put in place, to safe guard your Facebook account:
1. Do a “Privacy Checkup” by clicking on the “Lock” icon on the top right of your Facebook profile. You want to make sure that all your information is set to “Friends” or “Only Me” to ensure that scammers (who are not friends with you on Facebook) cannot see your information. So yes, that means making sure that none of your privacy settings are set to “Public“.
2. Once you’ve done that, double check that your Facebook information is not set to “Public“. Open accounts are easy targets for those dreaded cloning scammers. To change this click at the top right of any Facebook page and choose “Settings“. Select “Privacy” from the left menu.
3. Hide your friends list so that those naughty scammers can’t see who you are friends with. To do this, open your profile, click on “Friends” and then click on the pencil icon on the right hand side to “Edit Privacy“. Make sure to select the “Only me” option in the “Who can see your friends list” drop down.
4. A biggie for me (since someone actually stole my pics and pretended to be me for, like, years) is the privacy settings on your photos. Even though Facebook won’t allow you to hide your Profile and Cover pics, you can still safeguard your albums by selecting the audience for each image, individually. (This kinda tackles the whole “should I share my kids photos on social media” worry as well.) You can also select the audience for albums as well.
5. Don’t accept Friend Requests from people you don’t know! I think this speaks for itself.
6. Once you’ve updated your privacy settings, you can view your profile as “Public” to see what your Facebook looks like to somebody who is not on your friends list. simply click the “Lock” icon and then click on “Who can see my stuff.” Then choose “View as” to see what the public sees when they view your timeline.
7. Once you are happy that your Facebook has been safeguarded against prying eyes, tell your friends how to do this too! I mean, sure it feels great to share a frantic status update, with the hopes that you are protecting loved ones against possible scammers. But it’s does nothing except cause havoc and a misinformed public.
Rather arm your friends and fam with info on how to protect themselves against possible scammers! Yes you may do so by resharing this post. You’re welcome.
For more information check out these articles:
What is Facebook cloning and how can I protect myself from it
Warnings of cloned accounts going viral
How to tell if your Facebook has been hacked
Your Facebook account has not been cloned -
Update: A letter from a sick persons bed
If you’re reading this please know that my common sense has prevailed and prevented me from running with the completely morbid opening sentence that I had originally intended for this piece of writing. Hello. Welcome. Shalom. How are you? I’m fine, thank you. Well, I’m 100% percent sure that my body is healed and it just has to catch up with the truth that it’s healed, if you know what I mean.
The past two weeks have been completely insane, as far as weeks are concerned. Besides for singing my tonsils out at our church conference and DVD recording (only to later discover that, oh joy, my tonsils aren’t very happy about being sung out) I’ve also been really not healthy through all of this. Couple that with a strangulated hernia, and Bobs your uncle who is actually a doctor and telling you that you can’t leave your bed for a whole week.
For those who don’t know what a strangulated hernia is, congratulations. May this dreaded fate never befall on you. Okay, okay, maybe you still want to know what it is, anyways. Well, for various reasons that I shall not go into over here because the drugs are kicking in fast and I don’t know how much longer I can hold up with this banter, just know that some moms suffer from a condition called Diastasis Recti. This occurs post birth, when your tummy muscles have separated and cannot find their way back, thus leaving a gap down the middle part of your belly. This also means that the muscles are not protecting or encasing your intestines etc. An umbilical hernia (what I have) is when the intestine gets a little bit too friendly with your belly button cavity, and slips into that spot, gets stuck there and then throws its toys out of the cot. Okay, it doesn’t actually have toys to throw out of the cot, but it does get really painful, since all blood circulation is cut off etc. This can lead to a damaged colon, infections and even death.
So yes, all of this (minus the death part) happened to me on Saturday, at the church conference. Literally, on the bathroom floor, for all the world to see. It was very exciting, in a “everyone can see me crying for my mommy like a baby aaack” kind of way. A kind doctor gently pushed the intestine back into place (yes, with his finger) and the pain was immediately gone. But he insists that I have it surgically repaired. Now to get my medical aid to agree. Woohoo. Not.
Anyways, couple that with a severe case of tonsillitis and the fact that I can’t hold food down (extreme nausea, like every waking minute) and you’ve pretty much got the pilot episode of my newest reality show… Living in the Loo with Luchae. Hahaha I literally just made that up. I told you the drugs are kicking in fast.
But hey, it’s not all bad, you guys. For starters, I get to rest this week, which I wasn’t planning to do, to be honest. My very clever friend told me that I need to work on my physical wholeness… so I’m picking up the flack, and getting my body back on the healthy track. (And that was not meant to rhyme, but here we are, rhyming now). So that’s what I’m focused on right now.
I have so much blog stuff that is literally sitting up here, in my head, just giving me dirty looks. For starters I have a whole blog post dedicated to the child abduction thing. You won’t believe the level of frustration I’m feeling. I mean, I even did the homework!!!!! Now to actually get the info typed out. Meh. I also have two fantastic competitions that I am meant to run. Maybe next week? Okay, fine. Next week.
But other than that. Nothing interesting going on this side of the world. Nothing to see here, folks. Move along…
Clip note: Thank you for all the beautiful messages, Whatsapps and attempted phone calls. I haven’t really been taking calls due to eina throat. I’ll respond to messages eventually, I promise.
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Life lately: I get it, I can be annoying sometimes
You know those annoying people who are bright and cheery all the time… you know, the type of people you want to throw a stapler at. Well, that’s me. I’m that person. I can be annoying sometimes. I’m bright and perky majority of the time, and I don’t know how to make it stop. Actually, I don’t think I want to make it stop. But I had a brief encounter with a major grump this week and the look of annoyance on his face, at my over the top cheeriness, literally made my inner Jessica Day cringe.
Granted, the bloke isn’t someone in my friendship circle and I fortunately don’t have to deal with him often, at work. But his annoyance at my exuberance (look at all my big words) really cut me for some reason. I even apologized to him for my excessive cheer, saying “I’m so sorry for being annoying all the time”. He grimaced in reply, his facial expression giving off feelings of: “damn straight you are!”
In hindsight, me apologizing for being perky was like me saying “I’m sorry for being who I am”. Or “I’m sorry for not being who you want me to be”. And then it got me thinking… who am I meant to be anyways? Do I want to stay true to myself or do I want to be the type of person who makes other people happy all the time.
Anyways after having a few deep conversations this week, I had a massive revelation about identity and what that even means. I realized that being who God has called me to be is far more important than making people happy or striving to be perfect.
I guess it means if I want to be joyful and cheery, while farting rainbows and glitter and singing songs about love, then that’s exactly what I should do and who I should be! But it also means that if I’m not feeling perky or if I’m not having a good day, it’s okay to show it. I mean, I often “put on the cheeriness”, even on a day when I’m not feeling cheery, because I know that’s what people expect. But by doing so, I’m not staying true to myself. I’m being what other people want me to be. It’s unnatural. It’s tiring. It’s disastrous.
Anyways, said offender emailed me a few days later and I replied with a perky “Hi there, hope you’re well!” even though his initial email did not even offer me a greeting. I was like, take that you grumpy ball of grump, kapow kapow! He probably rolled his eyes at my reply. He probably wishes I would go far away. He probably needs a hug.
And then it hit me: I’m not annoying. He is annoyed. (Kabooom, mind blown!) Just because I don’t fit into his perfect little box of “how people should behave” doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with me or my personality. It just means that he needs a bigger box, maybe.
So whatever your default… whether you’re the serious one or the sporty one or the one who can quote movies. Whether you’re the over the top diva or the business minded analytical thinker or the smart mouthed mover and shaker. Whatever your personality or character traits may be, know that you are the product of a grand design. And trying to cover that up, to please other people, is like rubbing a little bit of “bland” into your uniqueness.
Putting on a mask is sooo last year anyways. Put on the mask of your face rather. Okay that’s just weird. I guess what I’m trying to say is: it’s okay to be the YOU that God created. He kinda knows what He’s doing.
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My husband unfollowed me on Instagram and other completely unnecessary wifey drama that he puts up with
How’s your “completely unnecessary wifey drama” looking? Well here’s mine: the other day my husband – the only one I have – unfollowed me on Instagram and I was outraged!
Is nothing sacred?! I mean, unfollowing me on Instagram is basically the same as unfollowing me in LIFE! I was flabbergasted. And while I sat there, fuming, in a pile of my own feelings, I decided to drop him a very heated Whatsapp message just to let him know what I think of him and his uncouth behavior.
He responded with a smirk emoticon (gasp – the audacity) and a one liner that said “I’m teaching you a lesson”.
Uhm, hello? This husband of mine – the only one I have – was under the false pretense that he could teach me (his most cleverest wife) a lesson. How hilarious. How insulting. Something had to be done.
I obviously had a very strongly worded reply ready, like only a wife will have. We carry strongly worded replies around with us, in our hand bags, like one would a tazor or a pepper spray. It does the same amount of damage.
Anyways, my reply was going to say something along the lines of: if he feels this passionate about education, he can gladly get a Funza Lushaka Bursary and learn how to do it professionally. But I was like, no, let’s not do that. Let’s bring out the big guns. We’ll play a little bit of “whose shoulder is the coldest”.Mind you, I realized my genius because it is, in fact, actually seriously cold in real life, anyways. Winter has made a comeback (and she’s brought reinforcements). So my cold shoulder would be in 3D, thanks to the weather.
Anyways, minutes turned into hours (it’s cray how slowly time moves when you have a vendetta and a plan) and I cold-shouldered and only replied to his messages using “mmms” and “if you want to”. I was convinced that I was winning.
But just to make myself feel doubley better, I chatted to concerned friends and they offered advice such as: “Steal his phone and follow yourself” and “Kick his ass” and “Shame, maybe he’s trying to be romantic.”
One even suggested that I put my anger to paper, and so I wrote a clever poem about it. It goes like this:
I once had a husband named Chris
Who has always been top of my list
Until one day the ham
Unfollowed me on Instagram
GASP! I know, what a diss!Please, hold the applause.
Anyways, ladies, this story does not have a happy ending. Or any ending at all actually. The chop is still not following me on Instagram. I am now filing for divorce.
Kidding!I’m honestly not that cut up about it. This whole post was written in jest. I love the bugger and his guitar-player fingers (even though one of those traitor fingers hit the unfollow button, but let’s not dwell on the past.)
It’s just been a funny story to tell people. You know, the unsuspecting ones, standing around the coffee machine, who don’t really care… and possibly don’t even know what my name is.
But all jokes aside you guys, this must be said: the only time I’m bugged about my husband not following me on Instagram is when I feel like I’m looking particularly cute today. I mean, how do I show him? Right? We all know that one cannot simply Whatsapp your dude a cute pic of yourself without looking like a complete dweeb. It has to be all mysterious and accidental and like “by the way, look at what you married, you’re welcome.”
Anyways, so that’s my completely unnecessary wifey drama for the day. What’s yours?
Clip note: People have been asking me why he wanted to “teach me a lesson”. Well, I accidentally unfollowed him first and then re-followed him. But The Gram does not forget. And so lessons had to be learnt. Oh Internet, what a complicated web you weave.
Clip note of a clip note: Before you say “Oh my gosh, this woman seriously wrote a blog post about her husband not following her on Instagram.” Yes, Margaret. Yes I did. And you just read the entire thing. Surprise!
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Can you please stop falling for fake news?!
My friends, I love you. But I seriously need you to stop falling for fake news on the interwebs. I mean, seriously. No, they did not find a mermaid off the coast of Jamaica. And no, there has not been a UFO siting in Japan. And for the love of all that is good, NO, Facebook is not going to delete your account unless you copy and paste a poorly worded status update.
The thing about hoax news is that it can be damaging. That’s right. I said DAMAGING.
Ask the teens, from Durban, who can’t leave home because someone played a prank on them by posting their pics on Facebook with the caption “look out for these two, they are stealing children”. Do you guys know that in India, atleast 20 people have lost their lives due to mob justice because of Facebook hoaxes of this nature?
And what about the mother and daughter whose pic was stolen from a social website, and then used in an article claiming they are having a sexual relationship. Not such a fun time for them, I’m sure. Heck, I’ve even been the target of a Cat-fisher – you know, someone who has used my own photos, to spread lies. It happens. And when we unknowingly share these stories and articles, without checking the facts, we become a catalyst – part of the PROBLEM and not the solution.
And I hear you, friends. You don’t mean to cause harm. You actually want to help out, which is why you’re sharing that article warning your friends not to flicker their head lights at night because it’s a gang initiation. And I totally get where you’re coming from. I mean, sure, I want to be kept informed too.
But if you’re telling me that they attempted to rip a child away from his father, in a mall in Cape Town, you’re making me paranoid about having my own kid ripped from my own arms. What you didn’t tell me is that the guy shoplifted and the undercover security guards were trying to apprehend him.
And sure, I want to know about missing people and want to do my part, by sharing the information. But friends, if the person was found like, 6 years ago, then WHY are we still re-sharing these posts?! Surely there are more urgent reports that need our attention? Checking the date/facts literally takes a couple of minutes.
Please, don’t get me wrong, my lovely friends. I want to be kept informed with the latest news. I really do. But please don’t tell me about impending disasters, fake diseases I can catch in elevators, fake comets about to hit earth and fake reports about poisonous foods on the shelves of our favorite stores if you haven’t double checked the news source and date of the report.
The scary truth is this:
1. Fake news travels faster than real news.
2. The fake news is usually quite horrifying/scary/freaky, and it has the potential to unsettle a large amount of people, unnecessarily.
3. Fake news can create an under-confidence in, say for example, the police force or your local government or even your schooling system. And hey, this isn’t an open door for a debate. I’m not asking you what your thoughts are on these institutions. All I’m saying is, don’t spread lies about it.
4. Fake news comes with a price, you guys. It lowers our trust in actual journalism, it lessens the value of actual scientific research, it damages the reputation of businesses who might not deserve the backlash and it creates a misinformed public who then makes decisions based on the wrong information.
5. It’s just not lekker man.So that’s all I have to say about that. Do the right thing.
Image: Freepik
