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“Christmas Crazy” has officially started!
So it’s November 1st and I’m over here trying hard to contain my inner jingle. In case you didn’t know, I really love Christmas and December, like, a lot! Let’s just say, when I jingle bells, I jingle all the way! (Thank you for your polite laughter) I’m not kidding though. My spirit animal is probably a reindeer. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, yo! I love everything about it. I love the gift wrapping and tree decorating. I love the horribly delightful, B-grade Christmas movies and eating trifle at 11pm after taking a late night swim. I’m ready for it. Are you? It’s time to get Christmas crazy! And to celebrate, I want to rub some of my festive off on you. No, it does not have a smell, I promise. But it does feel reaaaally good!
My Spreadsheet Brain and I have the following Christmas related content coming to a blog post near you:Music Monday
Remember how much I love Christmas music? Well, I will be sharing all the latest Christmas albums with you guys every Monday. And, thanks to Christian Art Media, we give away a bumper pack of Christmas albums to one lucky winner, at the end of the series! Check out our Music Monday posts, as of next week, to enter!Gift ideas and fun activities
Guys I’ve also spotted some really cool Christmas activities that I’d like to try out with the fam. Look, we all know that I have a lot of children. As the lazy holidays draws near, I’ll be hard pressed to find things to do that does not require me to rob a bank. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you in the know. I also have a bunch of really fantastic Christmas gift ideas to share with you guys! I mean, I really suck at choosing gifts for other people. I’ve begun to check out different gift ideas for the kids, my hubby and hey, for myself too. I mean, opening presents is like, my thing. Unwrapping presents comes second only to winning stuff. I like to win stuff. And I know that you like to win stuff too. So how about I run a couple of giveaways that would allow you to win some awesome Christmas gifts for you and your loved ones? Deal!Thankful Thursday
As you all know, I really value my relationship with God. Even though the glits and glamor of the festive season puts me on a natural high, I’m also all about celebrating baby Jesus. His birth and death is, after all, the foundation of my faith. I am so thankful for grace! Because of this, and to keep the main things main, I will be reviewing selected faith-inspired books from Christian Art Media, every Thursday. And yep, you guessed it, we will be gifting someone with a bumper pack of books at the end of this series too.Are you guys as excited as I am? Aaaack! What do you have planned for the festive season? Our tree goes up in two weeks time and I could not be more thrilled. Clearly.
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Four kids later and I’m not coping
I know it looks super cool to have a big family. I mean, our family photo’s are lit because there’s literally one of us in every single size and age group. But in reality, I feel as if I’m not coping. Four kids later and I kinda want to take a permanent vacation somewhere not here. Please? Okay, let’s stop being dramatic for like, a few seconds.
It all started this morning (I’m talking about the mini-emo session that I’m currently having) when I realized that I drove to work on fumes. I had forgotten to refuel the car because we were in a hurry to get the kids to school and ourselves to work. By the time I eventually rocked up at the office, I realized that it was probably the good Lord himself who safely delivered me here because the cars fuel light had been flashing since yesterday afternoon. No jokes.
Life has been crazy with a capital “cray”. Jo is a baby, so that speaks for itself. Kari… well, she’s turning three years old soon and she’s as diva as they come. And this is not me bragging. Kyle and Seth are writing exams soon and then there’s the guilt that we aren’t doing enough for them and with them. Pair this up with the fact that we only have one car now, and can you see where I’m going with this? (Or not going. One car, remember?)
Besides for just not having enough time or like, mental capacity, to parent four children and stay sane at the same time, you must remember that we also need to pay the school fees of four children. So a lot of side hustling happens regularly, with me writing and Chris computer-ing and music-ing (what else would you call it), but this means that we’re permanently busy. Oh and I didn’t even mention the other commitments we have. To top that off, we are married! Granted, it’s to each other and we can cut each other some slack on the married front, surely. But still. I can’t remember the last time I held my hubstopher’s hand, for FUN.
Anyways, so with that said, I’ve decided to take this moment and write a little emo post. Mainly because I know that “this too shall pass” and because I want to have this moment documented somewhere for the day when it does, so that I can look back and go “ahh, see, it did pass.” But also because I know that I’m not the only mom going through a complete season of overwhelm right now.I’m not saying it’s “okay” to be overwhelmed. But I am saying that it’s okay to feel as if you don’t have all your ish together, all of the time. So this ones for you mom, who feels as if you’re not coping too. I see you, girl. You’ve got this. This too shall pass. This too shall pass.
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I get why it’s illegal for parents to spank their kids
It is the year 2017. A time where we keep our front doors locked, in the peak of summer. A time where it makes perfect sense to jump a red robot at 2am, because you never know who might rock up at your window. A time where we’re afraid to eat the chicken in case it has flu. And a time where it has become illegal for parents to spank their children.
Oh the shock! The horror! The outrage! We should be allowed to spank our kids! I hear you say. You’re right. I mean, why ban corporal punishment in the home? What does this even mean?!
Well, no, it does NOT mean that the Johannesburg High Court has decided to “keep up with the Kardashians” and is now feeling as if corporal punishment is like, soooo, not on trend at the moment. In case you didn’t know, the term “corporal punishment” basically refers to any punishment which uses physical force to bring about pain or discomfort. And alas, the percentage of parents who have severely injured their kids, under the guise of ‘giving a good spanking’ are just too high. Their lack of anger management means that the high court has to step in, in order to protect our kiddos.
So, as much as I agree that it sucks. (I mean, have you read my “angry mom” post? I like, SO, want to be able to give my kids a spanking without being charged for assault.) But let me remind you about the gross injustice so many of our young South Africans face, on a daily basis, at the hands of family members and parents who are suppose to care for them, and not hurt them.
This affects all of us and the way we raise our children. I mean, let’s be honest, a large percentage of us South African parents know when to draw the line between punishment and assault, when it comes to giving our kids a spanking. But unfortunately, the High Court has to stick up for the kids of the parents who kinda don’t.
So that’s where we are at, South Africa. Our children deserve better.
What are your thoughts on the new law?
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When you’re not exactly the perfect parent
This week I had to make peace with the fact that I’m not always a “perfect parent”. Let me explain: I know that children are a beautiful gift unto our wombs and all of that, but I’ve been feeling especially overwhelmed lately. The need to be the perfect parent seemed to be clashing with the fact that, oh look, I’m a human being too. Has this ever happened to you?
This past week, a vast majority of my household cautiously clambered their way out of
the pit ofthe worst case of gastro known to man. Just when I thought things would return to normal baby Jo then developed a really bad case of thrush. The thrush infection quickly escalated, eventually infecting his digestive tract. My baby boy could not hold a feed in for three days straight. Picture me driving like a crazy lady between work and my sister’s house, as I try to balance being a mother versus having a job.As if that wasn’t enough, Kari seemed to be particularly energetic this week. Her levels were peaking last night, while we tried to ‘shush’ her during the speeches at an event. Guys, let’s just say, I made a speech while she was tugging on me, while loudly (and obnoxiously) letting everyone know that she wants a blue cupcake immediately please. The beautiful thing about having a baby while trying to raise a toddler is that you can’t lose your ish, even though you really want to. Oh wait, did I say “beautiful thing”? I meant to use the words “crazy mess”.
When I eventually got home with my sick kid, my needy kid and my teenage kid, I had to nurse a headache the size of the iceberg that hit the Titanic. Except that I felt like the Titanic in this situation. It was at this point that I decided that I want to toss out of adulting altogether. I wasn’t in the mood to cook a healthy meal. I didn’t want to tidy the house or make sure my children were bathed. I wasn’t keen on reading them bedtime stories or checking homework.So I didn’t.
I felt like a loser parent, I’m not going to lie to you. I mean, I should be doing this better, somehow. But then I realized that I need to give myself a flippen break man! I’m not a “perfect parent”. Heck, I probably wouldn’t be one, even if I busted by chops trying! And anyways, I’m sure my kids aren’t looking for super mom. They just want to be loved (and for me to turn on my wifi hotspot now and then). Those are two things I definitely can work my way around doing. So I ended up giving the minis a quick wash, got them into PJ’s and camped out in my room with blankets and tea. Kyle made sandwiches for supper (gasp, somebody call child services) as Kari and I watched ‘Storks’ for the umpteenth time. My “perfect parent” theory nothing more than a puff of smoke as I feel the steady breathing of my sleeping baby, against me. All was right with the world. We were okay. I did what I could for today. Tomorrow, we try again.
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Our amazing oyster farm boat cruise with Experience Days and Stampede Cruises!
Visiting the eastern part of South Africa any time soon? Well, firstly, give yourself a round of applause. You’ve chosen to enjoy one of the most beautiful (and historically rich) parts of the country and clearly have good taste. Well done! Secondly, pay special attention to the Experience Days website to check out some of the amazing Stampede Cruises experiences! The chartered tours around Algoa Bay, in Nelson Mandela Bay (Port Elizabeth), are relaxing and fun with just the right amount of adventure and edu-training thrown in for good measure. A bunch of us joined Rod and his crew on the scenic Oyster Farm Boat Cruise to the Zwembesi Oyster Farm, this past weekend, and it was all sorts of fun! -
Maya Deaf Foundation: Teaching your kids about disabilities
How do you feel about teaching your kids about disabilities? I’m going to be honest (because this is my blog and I can if I want to), teaching Kari about disability was not high up there on my list of priorities. NOT because I deemed the topic unimportant. I think that it is super duper important! But I was silly enough to believe that, at her age, my little girl wouldn’t really encounter someone with a disability. After reading about my friends Laz and Ruth’s amazing work that they are doing with Maya Deaf Foundation, I quickly realized how “doff” I was being. The truth is that it’s highly likely that your kid will, at some point, meet someone with special needs. I mean, Laz woke up one morning – at the tender age of seven – suddenly 100% deaf! Can you image that? Waking up to silence? -
Do you hold regular family meetings?
Does your family hold regular family meetings? You know, a gathering of sorts, where you are able to share your thoughts and feelings with each other? Yep, I get it, if you grew up in the *cough* 90’s like I did, a family meeting would be a foreign concept. In fact, it would be laughable! I mean, if we had family meetings back when I was a kid, my mum would respond to my “chores is child labor” claims with a shoe against my face. Well, that is a mild exaggeration, but you get the gist. Parents of the 90’s (and earlier) were not prone to needing the advice or opinion of their children. But things have changed, it seems.
So according to quite a few websites (I’m linking them below), it’s important to hold regular family meetings. These sites claim that families should sit down and deliberate decisions together… as a group. As in, your kid gets to have a say. One expert says that decisions should not be made without the kids consult. Apparently that’s dictatorship and no one wants to be that guy.
I read that holding meetings is a great way to include everyone in the decision making process and it creates a space where you can address issues, openly and calmly. Have you guys tried this at home? Well, I did, the other day. I mean, I figured that we arent living in 19-voetsak anymore and that it would be cool to hear the kids thoughts on certain things. Here’s how ours went down:
Winning
It was cool to address topics that were areas of concern. We brought up sensitive issues and made sure that everyone knew that we would respect each other’s opinion. Kyle (who loves debate) could argue his case and explain how he feels. And we could respond with our reasoning and thoughts on the topic. We then reached an amicable conclusion and were able to move on from the issue.Flopping
Did you read the part where I said that Kyle loves to debate? ‘Cause that. The kid can argue his point until next week, if given the chance. We had to remind him that this was a brainstorming session, and not an opportunity to attack each other. AND most importantly (well, for me probably), we get to have the final say because we are the big people.Conclusion
I think that family meetings are a great idea. But, before you hop right in there Harriet, lay down the law. Have some “family meeting rules” to comply with. In fact, a talking stick is also a really good idea too.Here are other bits of advice I found, that really helped us:
– Create a safe place (no judgies) for everyone to respectfully share their thoughts.
– What happens in Family Meeting, stays in Family meeting.
– For every negative comment, three positive comments must follow.
– Brainstorm ways to do things better, instead of focusing on the problem.
– Write down family goals and determine ways to reach them.
– Set the date for your next family meeting.So, that’s my take on the family meeting. What do you think, moms? Is this something that you’ve implemented in your own home? Please share your advice in the comment section below – you’ll be surprised at how many mama’s draw on the info that they receive in the comments.
Resources:
Centre for Parenting Education
Planning Alt
Lifestyle Plus Centre -
So I finally got my baby to take the bottle!
You guys probably remember how I ran around in a flat panic, the other day, when my boy refused to drink from his bottle. I mean, the kid had me close to tears. He was as stubborn as a member of parliament. (Oh wait, was that in bad taste?) I tried everything guys, EVERYTHING and I could not get my baby to take the bottle. Anyways, yesterday was my first day back at work, and I’m pleased to announce that my kid did not, in fact, half starve to death. I know, right? Winning.
Here’s what happened: I prayed. A lot. Nay, I begged the Lord to intervene! Man, I was desperate. Thursday was particularly grueling and after noticing the crazed look in my eyes, my baby sister offered to take Jo for a couple of hours. While alone, she says she simply stayed calm and tried a whole bunch of bottle teats on him, eventually finding one that he would allow in his mouth. She then sussed and rocked him, as she played with the teat in his mouth. And guys one-two-three, he was sucking from the bottle! WHAAAA?!!!! Victory! I felt like a newly crowned Miss World winner! She says it’s the combo effect of rocking, and sussing, and soothe-singing that got him to comply. Prayer works, yo! And that is a fact!
But now, in a strange turn of events, the kid only wants to take a bottle from my sister. And no, this is not a slight over exaggeration. Every single member of my family (well just about) has tried and he refuses. I mean, if he could pull us over his lap and give our bottoms a stern talking to with his hand, then he would. Instead, he just screams and screams, until we remove said bottle teat out of his mouth. My sis, on the other hand, gets googly eyes and cute little laughs from him, while she’s feeding him. I don’t get it! I just don’t! Except that I do… because, I mean, I prayed. And now the kid is taking his bottle AND my sis has offered to look after him until he’s a couple of months older (she’s a stay at home mom with all the patience in the world). I didn’t think that she would be an option, but she has offered and he LOVES her with a capital LOVE. I feel like this is the best thing that could have ever happened for Jo.
The kid loves his aunty. I seriously don’t know how she got him to take the bottle. So I asked her what her secret is. Drugs? Chicken pops? Voodoo? None of the above, apparently. But these are some of the top secret tips that might help you get your baby to take the bottle:
– Don’t try to introduce the bottle to him when he’s already hungry. The kid will probably not be impressed.
– Try a slow flow teat, since the kid is used to milk flowing at a certain pace. She also suggested trying to introduce a bottle that is the same shape and size as the pacifier.
– Allow someone else to give the bottle. Key: Don’t be in the same room/house with baby! They can smell you.
– Play around with different positions and milk temperatures.
– Let baby play around with the teat in his mouth, so that it becomes more familiar and not so much “help mom, an alien has invaded my mouth”… well, so to speak.
– Stay calm, baby can pick up if you’re freaking out (much like what I did in the beginning). Sing songs and talk to baby, as a way to soothe him and distract him.
– Pray, yo! Pray over your baby and for your baby and for your baby’s caregiver.Anyways, so with that said, my first day back at work was fairly mild. I mean, on a scale of one to Beyonce, my first day was a solid Michelle. It felt as if I never left. Freaky, right?
I think knowing that Jo is with a family member totally helps with the separation anxiety and settling in. I’ve called a bunch of times and he’s totally fine. Like, where is the loyalty Bruh?! No tears for mama? Kidding, it’s been a dream come true! God is faithful and that is a tried and tested fact.
How’s your week been?
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My maternity leave is over and I’m excited
No, the title of this post was not written by tiny alien invaders who have taken over my body in an attempt to gain a deeper understanding of how the average mom brain works. (Suspicious sounding much?) But yes, I am excited that my maternity leave is over. Does that make me a weirdo?
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love lounging around (aka cleaning the house, doing the laundry and getting lunch and supper ready, all while holding a 8kg baby) but I need to get my life back. I find myself craving routine again. Can you believe it? It’s the spreadsheet brain talking, fa sho. Guys, I miss being a normal person. (If Hubstopher were here he would make a snarky remark about how I’ve never been a “normal person”.) Can anyone else relate? Did you find yourself craving the “norm” after four months of lying at home and doing nothing? I mean, it sounds like a sweet deal, but is it really?
If you read my previous post you would know that Baby Jo has been especially clingy. I could not get any work done while I was at home with him. He’s a really sweet kid and all but the fact that he preferred me over like, the rest of the world, literally all of the time (good taste, by the way), meant that I had no free time. Maternity leave is a fallacy, I tell you! A farce! They make you believe you’ll be enjoying an extended vacation period, all snuggled up with cute baby en tow. What they don’t warn you about is the sleepless nights, numerous amount of times you have to pick puke out of your hair and that you feel utterly unfabulous each day as you attempt to find an over-sized shirt that matches your fading gym pants.Look, it’s not all bad though. I mean, I did enjoy the fact that I could stay in bed during the colder Winter days. And Jonah has been the cutest, chubby-cheeked cherry on the cake, for sure! But I can’t wait to wake up with purpose again. I love being able to use my brain (for something other than remembering which boob was last emptied) and I love working towards a goal, whatever that may be. I have so many exciting ideas and campaigns that I can’t wait to get started on. And most of all… I miss wearing regular person clothes and make up man!
So here’s to you maternity leave. Thank you for the glorious four months of binge watching Greys Anatomy, drinking an overwhelming amount of tea and snort-laughing, in bed, as I scroll through Facebook and read about other people’s Monday blues. You’ve been kind but my season here is done. Luchae….out! -
Help! My baby won’t take the bottle!
My baby boy has decided that he only wants milk from his mama – literally straight from the cow’s udder, so to speak. (Me being the cow, in this instance) He refuses the bottle, won’t take it, not interested in it and don’t you dare try to make him! It seems like a wonderful problem to have, but is it really? At first I felt oddly flattered like, yeah man, this kid knows who his mom is! But as time passed by and we drew closer and closer to the end of my maternity leave (today’s the last day by the way) I began to panic. My baby won’t take the bottle! Aack! What do I do?!
The wonderful people of social media land shared their advice with me (seriously, thank you guys) and I’ve tried it all, to no success. I’ve attempted literally every single type of bottle teat ever made in the whole wide world (well it feels like it). I’ve filled said bottles with my milk, formula, dipped its tips in a little bit of sugar to lure him to suckle on it, heated it up, cooled it down, did somersaults while juggling it in the air and spinning on my head, but alas, nothing worked.
What makes it even more upsetting is that when the kid is hungry or tired, he goes into this frantic cry/scream that only the boob can comfort. Yes, I did try cup feeding. It upsets him so much that he chokes. I’ve tried the syringe. He’s not impressed. Yep, I’ve tried a sippy cup too. I’ve even attempted to give it to him, in the guise that it’s the boob. He gave me a “are you kidding me, lady?!” look and spat it out. And then I left home for three hours hoping that with me away, he wouldn’t have a choice. Nope. He knows his rights and stood for what he believed in. (Politician in the making?) We’ve found that the only way to get him to take the bottle is when he cries himself to sleep. It’s a horrible, torturous way to feed a baby. But he will only suckle on the teat after he’s cried for an hour and is now dozing off to sleep due to hunger/anger and frustration. Meh. For real. Double meh.So here we are… hours away from my first day back at work and I’m writing a post that basically documents how this whole bottle feeding thing has been a flop. So there you have it. Word of advice to pregnant moms: Yeah yeah yeah breast is best and give your baby the boob and all of that. But don’t neglect to introduce your baby to the bottle as early as possible (if you’re planning to return to work). The earlier you do it, the better your chances of avoiding bottle rejection. Ask me. Clearly I know.
Moms, any advice for mamas who, like me, are struggling to get their baby to take the bottle?
