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Being offended doesnt make you right
I’ve developed ninja-skills when it comes to holding a grudge. I mean, come on lady friends, we’re pretty good at keeping an offence, right? And the thing is this, it’s easy to be offended or angry at another persons actions. I think that the hard part is showing kindness and tolerance even when you feel the other person does not deserve it. And offence is a big pile of stinky poop anyways. There is nothing good about it. I mean, life is so short and precious and filled with way more important things than to mull around about the actions of OTHER people and how wrong I think they are! Being offended doesn’t make you right, darling. It makes you irrational.
Human beings are extremely good at this! I know of sisters who have not spoken to each other for years, all because of a little offence. “Being offended” has broken up families and relationships – much more wreckage that it is actually worth! I, myself, have been in countless situations where I sat with huge hurts on my heart and instead of sorting it out properly, I walked around with a major chip on my shoulder. Holding on to resentment is a burden… there is no freedom in it.
The funny thing (it’s funny because it’s not really funny) is that offence is TAKEN and not given – so you have the power to choose whether you want to live in this anger/hurt/hatred or not. And, you know what Margaret, ultimately you are not in control of the other persons actions. Your anger or offence will not lessen the value of their opinions or even their lives. Like, you will find no joy in it.
I think that being the self proclaimed queen of efficiency has made me look at an offence with the question: But what’s the point?! It’s not adding to my day. It’s not adding value to my life. It’s slowing me down. It’s throwing a spanner into my system. It’s stunting my growth and affecting how I make my decisions. No thank you please.
Yes, I agree, there are times when someone has wronged you and it is what it is. But YOU have the decision to forgive. Make the decision to move on and to grow. Every opportunity to forgive is a life lesson learnt, yo.
And so, my friends, even though being offended has become the new social norm (yeah, you know what I mean, we are so opinionated now a days!) I dare you to stand out. Choose freedom and forgiveness over the burden of resentment and offence. I mean, unless you enjoy feeling like a big pile of stinky poop. Which is slightly weird. Life without the poop is way better, trust me.
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Choosing life for my family
Life is challenging, yo. Let’s keep it real, shall we? It’s easy to paint a perfect picture of your amazing marriage, well behaved children and super rewarding career.
But what goes down when no one is looking? The reality is that even the most amazing husband can be slightly annoying at times (and slightly more than slightly, at other times). The well behaved children are not always well behaved and the rewarding career not always the life of a rock star that you had dreamed about.
After an especially challenging week of coming home to dishes and annoying husbands and misbehaving children, you just feel like throwing in the towel and saying all the negative words you can think of! But I’ve learnt that choosing life for my family is a daily decision.
What does “choosing life for my family” even mean?
Well, I saw this message this morning and it totally says everything that I can’t: Women can make or break the attitudes of our homes. Let’s build our houses with the knowledge of God that changes our behavior, the wisdom to communicate this knowledge to others, and the understanding to live out our faith. Because “charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30.
The amazing thing about God is that He has given us freedom of choice. We have the power to choose what we allow into our lives and into our thoughts. We choose how we react to situations.
We choose what we release into the atmosphere.
And sometimes we need to guard our hearts and our mouths – especially at home yo, when we’re not wearing the masks we put on to face the outside world. Home is where we’re most comfortable and often the most unaware of how we’re affecting the atmosphere.
I was just thinking that with the heinous amount of crime (even the small stuff) that takes place on a daily basis, it is so easy to become a statistic. It’s something we do our best to guard our family against. We put up security fencing and gates. We install alarms. We take out insurance policies. We take ACTION to guard our families against the “enemy” outside. But what about the “enemy” that we allow inside?
How often do we guard our family against negative words? What I’m saying in front of my kids? What do I allow them to confess over their own lives? What are my children seeing me do? What are they seeing me NOT do? How do I handle conflict, in my home?
As the mother of my household, I try to stay aware of my attitude and decisions knowing that it directly affects my kids and husband. I mean, I’m no super hero, but choosing life for my family means that I want to TRY to be the best I can be for them.
Today, I am challenged to choose to speak life over my household. I am challenged to not entertain anything that would hinder their growth. How about you? Will you choose to be a light, wherever you are? I dare you.
