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2019: Here’s what went down
It’s been a while. I mean, the last time I blogged was, like, last year. (har har har #momjoke).
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I spent the past few days wondering when the heck 2019 happened and if I can get a do over. It’s honestly one big blur and the parts I do remember makes me want to cringe. 2019 was messy, for the most part.
So, in true spreadsheet brain style, I thought to observe my pain and suffering in Sherlock Holmes style.
I mean, why hide when you can reminisce-side. (I couldn’t find an appropriate word that rhymes with “hide”).
Anyways, herewith please find my annual ‘here’s what happened last year’ montage. That’s right folks, it’s a blog montage! *insert spirit fingers*
Recap of 2019January
I went into January 2019 being so thankful for my life because we had just survived a crazy car accident that, basically, wrote off our car. I didn’t want to talk about it, because emo, so instead I wrote a bunch of stuff about the new year like how to nail your goals and how to be healthier etc.Very non-confrontational of me.
I added a bunch of other stuff in there (you know, to sufficiently distract me from my feelings) like that Fiver Party Trend and choosing the right school for your kid etc. I also threw in some deep moments, just for fun, and spoke smack about my Hubstopher (because, you know, marriage) and told you guys that I don’t want to be a nice person anymore. Subliminal blog post, anyone?
February
In Feb ish got real. For starters, I finally spoke about the accident. But I also ‘fessed up about how I think we are ready for another baby. I know, this coming from the woman who barely coped with the four that she currently had. (I evens mentioned the ‘not coping’ in another blog post). Yes, I was a walking conundrum.Oh and I threw shade at people who aren’t lekker in life (because my feelings were just that much) and told you guys about the weird Momo trend on Youtube.
March
So March issa birthday month and everybody knows how serious birthdays are to my spreadsheet brain! Like, my birthday should be an official National Public Holiday, I swear!Anyways, I got right in there with the birthday posts. I spoke about lies I often tell myself when I realise I’m one year older and I even wrote a letter to younger me. (Issa yearly introspection month too, clearly)
For balance I added a marriage-ey post into the fray and I showed you guys how totally adorbs my little girl is. She modeled a bunch of Winter looks, in her Lil Punk Boutique tutu skirt, and I couldn’t be more proud!
April
April means Easter and mallow eggs, right? (I mean, it’s a duh) So I did a mallow eggs comparison on the blog because I know how important this kind of thing is to us moms.I also wrote a post about “step monsters” (because all stepparents are monsters, another duh… yes, I am rolling eyes at myself) and jotted down some of the perks of being married (hint: it involves not having to ask for directions).
Oh and I let you guys in on a secret: I was preggers with kid number 5! (I feel like this vindicates all the hormone-ridden blog posts, so bail a sista, would ya)
May
I spent a large part of May thinking about and talking about and, well, writing about baby stuff. I was buzzing with excitement, you guys!For starters, I wrote a bit about how motherhood strips you. I also chatted about how my kids took the news that we’d soon be one man up, so to speak, and when we were planning on finding out baby’s gender (hint: the answer is never… well, atleast not while I was pregnant).
We were also prepping for our 2019 ECMeetUp!
June
June was filled with a bunch of posts about blogging and social media. I mean, besides for the usual ECMeetUp banter, I also told you guys how to stay classy on social media and gave you tips on how to start blogging.Of course there was a pregnancy update, oh and I unleashed my negative body issues on your poor, unsuspecting brains. Sorry about that. Hormones and what not.
July
As far as months of the year goes, July 2019 was a really emotional one for me. If you thought the start of the year was emo, this one was super saiyan emo.I mean, I laid it all on the table and made you guys look (ala Bird Box zombie). For those of you who stuck it out… shalom, friend. Thanks for staying even when I word vomited about my kid’s matric farewell drama and the fact that I was being a negative nelly about my pregnancy. Oh and I wrote a whole post about poop. You’re welcome.
I was also kinda informative, talking to you guys about matric farewell planning, newborn checklists and how to turn a breeched baby. All in all a pretty well rounded collection of posts… right?
August
Twas a month for baby related posts such as: Baby drop safes, Baby name choosings, Baby bag packings and, my fave, my birth story! That’s right… our Asher was finally born.
September
Pain. That’s all I have to say about September. But I managed to kick out a whole blog post about how to prepare for a C Sec birth AND I tackled the #menaretrash trend.October
In October I told you guys about Jo’s trip to the operating theatre… the kid had swallowed a coin and it was stuck! He’s okay now, thankfully.I spoke some more smack about my Hubstopher and ran a Faith over Fear series where a bunch of amazing writers and bloggers shared their faith stories with us! You guys need to read this! Click on these links to read stories by: Me, Timann, Sherayne, Nadine and Kim.
November
More Faith over Fear posts, this time by Megan and Tamsyn.Also, you’d want to read my thoughts on having a big family, my Hubstopher who doesn’t buy me Christmas presents and why I combo-feed my baby.
December
The last month of the year is usually dedicated to my Christmas Crazy. I mean, I take it pretty seriously. This year was no different. I ran so many blog giveaways that I thought of adding “everybody’s getting onnne!” to my blog bio.I was also so keen to introduce ya’ll to Girltivity, the kwaai Springbok Monopoly, Baby Born dolls (they really poop, you guys) and the gorgeousness that is my daughter, modelling some hot Barbie x MRP fashion. Oh and I baked (shocker).
So that’s my 2019… a hodge podge of feelings, being pregnant and product reviews. Atleast there’s a wide variety of content, right? If you’d like me to chat about anything specific on the blog next year, let me know!
Image: Header by Freepik
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Christmas gift idea: CUM Books daily planners for the whole family! {Giveaway!}
If you’re looking for that perfect gift idea for someone who, like me, gets a little thrill at the mere thought of having to plan something, well look no further friend! Us Polly Planners love stationery… and we go gaga for really pretty and clever bullet journals, wall calendars and daily planners. I mean, you could call it an obsession, but not to my face.
Anyways, I recently received a bunch of fabulous daily planners and devotionals from our friends over at CUM Books and I pretty much went mental! Everything is so gorgeous! And there is something for everyone!
For her
I’ve always been so impressed with CUM Books wide variety of gorgeous daily planners. In spite of the digital era (and yes, I do have a digital calendar) I find that jotting things down in a planner (even thoughts and prayers, yo!) brings me to an immediate place of calm.
In fact, going into meetings, or simply planning my kids birthday party, is made so much easier when I know that I am storing information in one place, for easy reference. But besides for that, a beautiful daily planner makes me feel way more organised, even when I’m not! I know, I’m pretty loony toons sometimes. If you’re just like me (welcome, friend), then you totally should show this post to your husband and ask him to get you one of these:
Daily Planner For Women 2020 Large Grace And Glory Rose Gold/Zip (LuxLeather)You guys know (because I speak about it all the time, like a crazy person) that I am a sucker for the stunning CUM Books, luxe leather, zip up daily planners. In fact, I’ve had one every year for the past five years and it goes EVERYWHERE with me.
I was so chuffed to get my hands on this rose gold detailed 2020 planner… I’m all set for next year, friends! Besides for the weekly scripture and inspirational quotes that I simply LOVE reading, I also appreciate the ample space for daily appointments, prayers and priorities. I use the monthly planning to scope out my whole month and I enjoy the “page a day” styled lay out, for my day to day planning.
There are a bunch of handy info kits in the planner, such as a list of public holidays, international dialing codes, measurements and conversions, and a wedding anniversary gift guide. This would make a perfect Christmas gift and it only costs R200. Bargain.
Daily Planner For Women 2020 Living Life Well Floral (Hardcover)If you’re a busy lady, wanting to make sure that you’re keeping your priorities in check, then this is the daily planner for you! Complete with space for daily appointments, prayers and even a space to jot down your daily priorities, this hardcover is the perfect hand bag addition! I like that it also offers you a monthly planner and that you’re able to plan ahead for 2021 in it, as well.
And friends, you KNOW I’m here for the scripture verses and inspiring quotes, strewn through out the planner. I mean, sometimes it’s exactly what you need to read on that specific day. God is intentional like that, yo. The Daily Planner For Women 2020 Living Life Well retails for R190.

Wirebound Daily Planner 2020 His Mercies (Wirebound)
If you’re looking for something a lot more lightweight, to quickly jot down appointments and notes in, the CUM Books selection of wirebound planners are perfect for you. Unlike the “page a day” planners, this one will help you to get a brief overview of what your week will look like, in once glance, and provides space for priorities and even a shopping list.
Oh and, yep, the designs are beautiful! These are such a bargain at only R49 each!
For him
My husband is not the most organised person in the world. There, I said it. And this is not me bashing him… the man has other strengths and that’s okay. I found my greatest joy (I’m such a simple folk) in teaching him how to use our shared digital calendar. This way we both always know what is in each other’s diary’s. BUT, I’ve discovered that he also needs to have a physical calendar/diary with him each day.
These are usually filled with day-to-day doodles and important information (written on the wrong date… sigh). He also enjoys having a handsome looking diary to take with him into important meetings. Because of this, I always make sure that he has one of the beautiful CUM Books daily planners with him. There are a range of diary’s available for men. Take a look at these!
Angus Buchan Daily Planner 2020 (Hardcover)Renowned author and evangelist, Angus Buchan, features in this stunning hardcover planner. With sepia-toned text, ample space for notes, addresses and personal information and inspirational verses and quotes from Uncle Angus himself, this makes for a really rad Christmas gift! Retails at R190.
A Year of Grace Large Print (Hardcover)
Pair your planner with a faith-filled daily devotional, like this ‘A Year of Grace’ hardcover, also by Angus Buchan and you kinda have the perfect gift! These retail at R250.
For the kids
I recently shared about the new Christmas gift trend that is encouraging parents to not overspend when shopping for their kids, this Christmas. So the mantra is: “get them something they want, something they need, something to wear and something to read.” I simply love this!
I think that a great school diary is definitely a “something they need”. CUM Books has a range of trendy devotionals, inspirational school diary’s and daily planners that would definitely have your kid’s eyes gleaming on Christmas morning. Check out some of my faves:
My School Diary 2020 (Paperback)This funky daily planner is designed to help young learners stay on top of their school work, while doodling their way through the year. Some of the features include an assignment planner, grade tracker and exam timetable template. I also really love the addition of a list of multiplication tables and a list of tricky words and how to use them correctly. Seriously, how clever?!
As always, the diary comes complete with encouraging scripture verses and inspirational quotes, to keep your young learner inspired and thinking positively. This is an absolute bargain at only R49!
The One Year Mother-Daughter Devotional (Paperback)If you’re a mom of a pre-teen or teenager, you will find such reward in this breathtaking ‘One Year Mother-Daughter Devotional’. Firstly, I am so inlove with the idea of walking through a devotional with my daughter.
This one, in particular, is designed to strengthen the relationship between a mother and her daughter, as they spend time with God together. The “girl gab” section will help the pair to better understand scripture and their personal relationships with God. Topics for the devotions include modesty, purity, self-esteem, handling emotions, witnessing, living the faith. This one retails at R200 and is also available in Afrikaans under the title Die Eenjaar Ma en Dogter dagboek.

Win a CUM Books 2020 Daily Planner hamper for the whole family!
We’re giving away a stunning 2020 Daily Planner hamper, compliments of CUM Books! To enter, simply follow the prompts below:
1. Find the specially marked post on Instagram and follow instruction to grab 1 entry.
2. Find the specially marked post on Facebook and follow instruction to grab 1 entry.
3. Comment below and let me know which of these planners have caught your eye, to grab 1 entry.Giveaway open to SA residents only. Duplicate entries will not be counted. Winner announced on 6 December and has 24 hours to claim prize.
This review and giveaway was done in collaboration with CUM Books.
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Faith over Fear: Trusting God for sight
Guest post – From as far back as I can remember, I have struggled with my vision. I started wearing spectacles at the age of six and I remember the very first day I proudly brought my new apple-shaped glasses home. I stepped out of the car with a ginormous leap onto the pavement and a smile stretched from ear to ear because I could actually see where my foot was landing, for the very first time!
You see, my father had glaucoma – a terrible eye disease which often leads to blindness. As an offspring, not only was I extremely nearsighted with an astigmatism in both eyes, but the pressure in my eyes was abnormally high, making me a high-risk candidate for developing glaucoma myself.
As a Christian from a very young age, I had always prayed to God about my eyes but also always carried around an undesirable guilt that there were far worse problems in the world than a young girl with bad eyesight. I realized, albeit sheepishly, that I was okay with or without spectacles – and I made the decision that my vision would never hamper me from fulfilling my purpose in life.
However, one defining moment seemed to challenge my self-doubt. As an adult, I remember sitting in my home church in Cape Town one morning when our former pastor – who has since passed on – prepared a special sermon on healing. There were four specific conditions that he felt the Lord wanted him to speak about and pray over that morning. I wasn’t sure where the sermon was going or what our dear pastor was going to pray about that day, but I remember a nervous feeling brewing in my belly from the very moment he opened his mouth, and before he even spoke the words ‘glaucoma’ I found myself standing up and weeping before the entire congregation.
I’m not entirely sure what happened in the physical realm that day, but I most certainly felt something lift off me in the spiritual. My follow up with my ophthalmologist confirmed that, after 25 years, my eyes were finally beginning to stabilize and that my eye pressure seemed stable and contained – albeit still higher than the average – but within a safe, normal range.
Four years later, in March 2019, I ventured back to my ophthalmologist for what I thought would be a normal visit for a new spectacle prescription and to check that things were still as good as they appeared previously. Not only had my eyes pretty much stabilized and remained unchanged in the last four years, but for the first time in my life, I was eligible for eye surgery to correct both my nearsightedness and astigmatism.
I carefully listened to the doctor’s every word, completely shocked and humbled by this positive news. In my 29 years of wearing both spectacles and contact lenses, I had never been a good candidate for surgery. The downside of this news was that the surgery would cost R21500 which was not covered by medical aid. Money I simply did not have. A little deflated but ever hopeful, I decided to take the quotation home and pinned it up on the fridge so I could look at it each day and be reminded of how far I had already come.
Over the months that followed, life seemed to go on as normal. As a wife, a mom of two and a freelance writer from home, life has a way of moving forward, whether you’re ready for it or not. However, one morning, my dear husband suddenly had the inclination that I should go back to my doctor and find out about starting the process towards surgery and how we could both pay it off and possibly set a date for the future. I checked my accounts and together we could muster up about half of the costs as a deposit and a future date would give us time to plan and save.Previously it had taken me almost six weeks to simply get an appointment with my ophthalmologist so at the very least, I could now get an appointment and we could figure things out as they went along.
The next morning, I called the surgery to try and book an appointment in advance and get the ball rolling. To my surprise, the kind receptionist informed me that they had had a cancellation for the next morning and that I could come in immediately to discuss my options. Oh dear… suddenly things were moving at a rapid pace.
I went through all the vision tests for laser and before I knew it, I found myself booking a date that was just four weeks away. That meant that we needed over R10000 in just under a month. Gulp.
I climbed behind the steering wheel of my car as I left the surgery that morning and I immediately turned the radio off so I could have a heart to heart with God. This was my quiet time with Him, and I began to wrestle with God in the car. I told Him that I wanted this surgery; that I had booked a date and that there was no going back now. (Cheeky I know). I told Him that He needed to come through because well, how was I supposed to pay for it all.
I called my husband and we thought for a moment about how we would possibly move around funds but that things would be very tight, if not impossible. I went home and sent out a message to my prayer group to explain the situation and to ask for prayer and guidance. I remember telling them that on the inside I was laughing because I was a little broke, but I knew that God had come through for me many times before.
That evening we sat together at the kitchen table and tried to process the day’s events. At this point, my husband had full confidence that God was leading us to have this surgery and that He would take care of it. Minutes later my phone buzzed. It was a potential client calling about a quotation I had sent through a month previously. He wanted to let me know that they were accepting my quote for a year of service, and if possible, if they could pay me in advance for the year…
I put the phone down and burst out laughing. What had just happened? In one day, God had orchestrated a divine appointment that had otherwise taken weeks to secure, and then He provided every last cent and more to ensure that this surgery was going to happen and that my family would be taken care of.
A few days prior to my surgery, a wise gentleman prayed for me at church and told me that He felt that God was aligning my physical sight to that which He had already begun to unveil in my spiritual sight. I knew then that my decision to wrestle with God was me choosing faith over fear and trusting that He would come through for me.
On 2 October 2019 I walked into the Cape Eye Clinic and I walked out without my spectacles. For the first time in my life, I can now sit and type on my computer with no corrective lenses. I can drive without spectacles. I can read without spectacles. I can do life without feeling like I have been hiding behind glass for most of my existence. The goodness of God leaves me speechless and ever thankful.
My eyes are currently in the process of healing and it may take up to 6 months before they stabilise, but I am trusting that God will continue to do what He said He would. My faith over fear journey is therefore far from over, but each day I’m reminded of where I come from and I look ahead to where He is leading me.
If you’re feeling as though you are unworthy of the fullness of God and His blessings, I am here to tell you that God can and will do infinitely more than you or I could ever hope or imagine.
Now more than ever, the Scripture in Proverbs rings true for me which says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight,” (3:5-6).
What are you trusting Him for today?

Author
This guest post is part of my Faith over Fear series. The author, Tamsyn Cornelius, owns TC Editorial Services where she touches on topics of faith. You can check her out on social media: Facebook, Instagram and Linked In -
Faith over Fear: how a cup of hot water lead to a ‘Cup of Faith’
Guest post – A lot of people know that in June, my youngest son burnt around 80% of his body with hot water. I haven’t really written about the experience in full, because it’s still one of the most traumatic things I have lived through.
It was just 2 days after Eli’s second birthday, and we were celebrating Father’s Day. The following day was a public holiday and the kids were on school holidays, so we figured we’d order Mr.D and have a movie night. After placing our orders, we realized we didn’t have ice-cream and chocolate sauce, so made a quick trip to the Spar around the corner. I can’t begin to explain just how normal our day and evening were. I remember walking down the aisle, picking out the chocolate sauce and looking at my kids running ahead of me with such gratitude. My soul was full – in that moment, everything was just as it should be. We were healthy, life was working out, I had just started my new job, my kids were thriving. For the first time in what felt like forever, life was good and we were emerging from what was a very tough season.
We got home from Spar and decided to do a quick tidy up while we waited for our pizzas to arrive. I was in our bedroom, picking up tiny socks from the bottom of my bed, Axl was carrying toys through to his room, Eli was shouting for Tea (quite typical of him.) and Darren, my husband, was taking dishes to the kitchen. I was just about done in the room, but spotted another rogue sock in the bathroom. I told Eli that I was coming through to the lounge, I just needed to put the socks in the washing basket. I had just bent down when I heard something fall in the kitchen – I listened out for any sound, expecting D to say, “I am okay!” – and then I heard the unfamiliar scream of my child. It’s the kind of scream I can’t describe, it shook me to my core. I dropped everything and before I got through my bedroom door, D started shouting, “HOT WATER! HOT WATER!”
I wasn’t aware that D was trying to help out, by softening the chocolate sauce for our ice-cream we had planned to eat later. He had filled a plastic bowl full of hot water, to allow for the chocolate sauce to soften, and I imagine Eli was on his way to the kitchen to ask for tea, when he saw the chocolate sauce in the bowl, so pulled it down on himself. The bowl had hit him on the head, and the hot water had spilled all over his body.
By the time I got to the kitchen, Darren had gotten Eli’s clothes off. I grabbed him and ran through to my bathroom. Darren ran to the other bathroom and tried running a bath, but I was already in the shower – my clothes all on, standing in a cold shower. I started assessing the damage… his skin was coming off on my hands. I screamed, “we’re going to hospital! His skin is coming off. He is bleeding. We need to go!” At first, Darren didn’t think it was that bad, but as soon as he saw the amount of skin coming off his body, he just grabbed everything, and got us into the car. He was on the phone with his mom, asking her to meet us at the Emergency Doctor, I grabbed my wallet, phone… I had no shoes, no bra… My clothes were still wet from the shower. I ran back and remembered to grab my silk gown, to cover Eli. In my mind, I needed to stop touching his skin, so it would stop coming off, so I wrapped him in my gown, grabbed a new nappy for him and ran to the car.
While this was all going on, I had a five-year old completely freaking out. Axl is sensitive to loud noises, and Eli was… well, as you can imagine… screaming.
I also vaguely remember Mr. D kept trying to call me, but I had dropped my phone on the floor of the car, and couldn’t get it without hurting Eli. We pulled out the driveaway, and started making our way to the emergency room. Axl was blocking his ears and freaking out, D was just focused on getting there, Eli was screaming and I wasn’t processing any of it. All I could think to do was pray. And man, did I pray. The louder he cried, the louder my prayers got. We were on Cape Road, when a Golf tried to slip through as the robot had just turned red, almost hitting into our car.
My world froze.
This is how we die. It was slow-motion. The Golf was going to hit into my door.
I shouted, “Oh God, PLEASE! Keep my family safe!!!” And in the very last second, D gained control of the car and swerved, managing to miss the Golf, and continue on our way.
I don’t remember the rest of the drive to the Emergency Doctor. I know I prayed. A LOT. And that when we pulled into the driveway, people ran out the way, I opened the door of the car and just ran. I am pretty sure the car was still moving and I know I left the door open. I didn’t care. I needed someone to help my son.
A gentleman held the door open, the nurses jumped up and ushered me into a room. I was in a daze. They asked me questions. I knodded and shook my head in response.
“Hot water. It was hot water.”
…
“I can smell his burning skin. Is he going to be okay? What do I do?”
…
The nurse was so sympathetic. She spoke softly and calmly, assuring me that he would be okay. Darren and Axl were still not in the room with me. The nurse kept trying to assess the burns, but Eli would just scream louder. They gave him some pain meds, but obviously, he kept refusing them. They got him Burnshield, which I covered my already wet shirt in, so he could lay against me. The doctor came in and confirmed that we needed to go to hospital but they’d make all the arrangements.
We’re not on medical aid.
I had been unemployed for just short of a year. I had just landed a job and was trying to climb out of crippling debt. There was no savings, no cushion, no emergency money, no medical aid.
But I refused to worry. My son needed me.
I called Darren from reception to bring my phone and turned on the Lumineers album. I hushed Eli, danced with him and eventually… the crying stopped. I turned off the light, and swayed in the dark. I still didn’t have it in me to cry, to freak out, to vomit from the worry. I just swayed to the song, and prayed.
Meanwhile, a stranger in the waiting room had taken in Axl. He was holding him and wrapped him up in his jacket. He comforted him and made him feel safe, until his granny came. By the time my mother-in-law arrived, Mercantile hospital had said in order for them to admit us, we’d need R24,000 up front. TWENTY-FOUR THOUSAND RAND – WHO HAS THAT? I could hear everyone talking in reception, the nurse desperately trying to call other hospitals, the doctor trying to reassure my husband, Axl asking if Eli is going to die or if his skin will ever grow back.
Eli was asleep, the nurse and doctor had managed to strap on BurnShield by covering his body in bandages to hold the shields in place. I finally managed to message my parents, and asked them to start a prayer chain. My battery was about to die and I wasn’t able to give much information, because I still didn’t know what was happening. I needed to save the little battery I had to keep playing the music for Eli – it was the only thing that calmed him. Darren walked in. His head fell. “We need R24,000.” Before he could finish his sentence, he was called away. He came back… “A man in the waiting room has offered to pay the R24,000 upfront for us.”A man – a total stranger – offered to pay my son’s hospital bills upfront. He didn’t just offer. He did it. He EFTed the money right there, the nurses faxed proof of payment and we were ushered back into our car to go to Mercantile. I ran into the hospital, was shown to a private room where they gave Eli stronger meds. The nurses said he’d likely need to be sedated to have his wounds cleaned the following day, and that the bulge on his head from the bowl, would need to be scanned to make sure he didn’t crack his skull but that overall, he would be okay.
My dad arrived with a charger, my sister-in-law arrived with clothes and our family pastor who had just seen our family through the murder of my husband’s uncle, the cancer diagnosis of my father-in-law and the death of my mother-in-law’s mother arrived to pray with us. For the first time, it started sinking in. This was real. This was happening.
The days that followed were long and hard. We spent two days in hospital but were relieved that Eli didn’t need to be sedated, nor did he need to be scanned. The doctors confirmed he had superficial burns and although he was really sore, we could only really give him pain meds and change his dressings every few days. On our last day in hospital, we had to visit the wound sister for the first dressing change.
Having to watch a sister “rip off” bandages from my son’s burned skin, seeing him bleed, while crying “mamma” over and over again, is a memory I will never get over. The more he cried, the more I prayed. The only thing that was going to get me through this was God himself. It’s a memory etched deep within my mind, a memory that makes me cry anytime I give it a thought. The wound sister was cold, heartless, horrible and cruel. She spat out the words, “This is why we sedate them!” As if it was our choice not to – it wasn’t, the doctor said not to. We were only following the doctor’s orders, but were made to feel like we failed, as if the guilt of our child being burnt wasn’t enough.The care we received wasn’t the best, in general. We only saw a doctor once, they didn’t give Eli meds as often as they were meant to, and the wound sister was one of the worst professionals I had ever encountered. But we were set to leave, well, first we had to speak to a psychologist at the hospital, before they’d sign our release papers. The psychologist spoke to both my husband and I – she assured us that we did everything right. That things happen so fast, another sister chimed in how her own son had suffered 2nd degree oil burns. They pleaded with us not to blame ourselves, to have peace of mind that he will be okay and that he won’t remember the trauma of this entire experience.
We got the sign off and headed home.
I had a friend who I met on Twitter reach out to ask if she can start a crowdfund, my new boss sent Eli a gift and told me to take as much time as I needed, my mother-in-law stayed with us for a week, to look after Axl, would take him out during the day, stock the fridge and did medicine runs. My dad popped in every day after work to make me coffee and see if I was ok. My grandparents came and dedicated both my children, while we sat around on the floor of my bedroom – it was so informal, but it was perfect. I messaged the stranger who paid our bills to thank him, and his response was, “God provides.”
In the days after, I didn’t feel right about going back to the wound sister at the hospital. She charged R6,000 for the first dressing and said the next 3 would be the same price – I’d rather go without food, to pay a better professional to take care of my son. I decided to call around and met a friendly sister at Schuinville pharmacy. The first time we went to her, she spent 2-hours trying to undo the mess that the previous wound sister had done. She had put cotton wool on his wounds, so the wounds had healed with the cotton wool stuck to it, which meant when they removed the bandages, everything just ripped open again. Two hours. It was pure agony. But these sisters were so patient and reassuring. They eventually got him wrapped up with the right stuff. A few days later, they came to our house to check his wounds – you wouldn’t believe the healing. It was incredible!
By the second week, Eli was walking around again. He was still sore, his movement limited but he was able to engage.
Slowly, things started going back to normal, first I would work from my bed, then as he started gaining mobility, I started working from my desk again. Eventually, 3-weeks later, we were able to take his bandages off for good. We still had months of work ahead of us, and he had a massive fear of water, his scars were bad, but he was alive and God said, “Trust me.”
And so I did and continue to.
Looking back, I know without a doubt in mind that my strength and courage came directly from God. That I acted with God’s knowledge. That God kept us safe in the car. That God put those two men in the waiting room; one who comforted and looked after my son when I couldn’t and the other who has a heart so big, he paid the bill of a complete stranger. I know that God is responsible for my son’s remarkable healing, that He connected me with the right wound sister when I needed, and opened the hearts of strangers who took the time to drop off creams for Eli’s scars. Gosh… God’s hand in my life during this period is just SO big, that I can go on to tell you that weeks after, we realized that Darren had left the bath running, when we made our dash to the ER but that the bath never overflowed because by some coincidence, our bath had a leak. Or, how I really didn’t want to spend such a large sum of money on a Paw Patrol Rubbel Teddy for Eli’s birthday, but Darren insisted and for some reason, that was the only thing that provided comfort to Eli while in the hospital. Small things like the fact that Darren happened to get petrol earlier that day, meant that we got to the hospital when we needed to. SO. MANY. THINGS. Happened, because of God.God is Good.. So… Soo.. Good.
I made a commitment that I would spend the rest of my life sharing that message and shortly after, launched Cup of Faith. Cup of Faith is a South African online network for Christian women. Our platform is designed to share, inspire and encourage fellow Christian women through podcasts, blog posts, community reading plans, product reviews and much more! Quite frankly, I have no clue what I am doing, try to start an online ministry, but God is on the move and continues to wow me, as He leads me on this exciting new path. While I am based in Port Elizabeth, I have contributors based throughout the country and beyond, with some based in North Africa, Canada, and England – I wanted to create a platform featuring women and their real-life stories but could literally count on my one hand how many women I personally knew, who would want to share their stories… Well… I trusted God, and now we’re a thriving community of women from all ages and walks of life. We have new content being posted almost daily that tackles all sorts of topics that vary from mental health, discovering faith, marriage, parenting, addiction, to posts with helpful Bible resources, weekly freebies and printables. We also have a podcast hosted by myself, an online book club, prayer request, and social media accounts that aim to encourage our followers with daily devotionals and updates from the rest of our network. You can find us at: https://cupoffaith.co.za/
AuthorThis guest post is part of my Faith over Fear series. The author, Megan Botha, is the owner of Cup of Faith – a Christian resource website. You can join the Cup of Faith community, check out their latest posts and get updates about newest podcast over on Facebook, Instagram and Buzzsprout. -
Faith over Fear: A tapered journey
Guest post – There are moments in our lives that will either define us or break us. Lately I have been wondering which moment I’m living in. This is a narrow space and on either side of me the squeezing seems to be reaching a breaking point. The demands of life cry out to me from the moment my eyes open. I am a mom. A wife. A principal. A special needs educator. I am all things but there doesn’t seem to be space for me in my life.
Its 5am. My alarm blares loudly and it bounces around inside my head. Life rushes in and immediately those familiar anxious feelings encase my chest. It’s a mad dash to get two kids out the house and make the school run to two different schools and then I’m rushing into difficult days with difficult cases and managing issues and life seems to rush by me while I’m standing still. Life seems to move so quickly that the days blend into each other and when I look again my children are a year older.
We have entered into a moment in our lives where we have our terrible toddler years coinciding with preteen hyper emotionalism. Our days are filled with 11 year old sized tantrums and bite sized ones. My life seems to be reaching within me and pulling out all the patience, endurance and persistence within me. Today I refereed a fight over dog poop…
My toddler, all grown up, announces to the empty lounge “Daisy made a poop, I clean it” and off he goes to pull off the tiniest piece of toilet paper he can get all the while my preteen has heard him and has gone to scoop it up. Toddler arrived back in the lounge to find the poop is missing. He starts crying and I call out around my toothbrush filled mouth “what’s going on” and preteen starts crying hysterically because no one appreciates her and no one cares about her or listens to her. I am now rushing out the door with two crying children.
Parenthood has got me all squeezed out this year. I, like so many others moms, have found myself really soul-challenged by parenting. I worry if I love them enough? Do I tell them enough? Do I discipline them enough? Do I discipline them correctly? Do I give them a voice? Am I teaching them to be strong while still preserving their gentleness? All the while I am on a tapered journey. There are days when I loose faith in what God is doing in our lives. “God, why wont my son sleep?”. “God, why does it feel like I’m losing my daughter?”.
I have wrestled with debilitating fear as I drive away from my children’s schools. The question mark always hangs in the air. Will I see them again? I try not to catch it instead I let it slip into the faith I carry in my heart. This is a tapered journey, don’t you see?
There hasn’t been some bright light or a booming voice from heaven giving me all the miraculous answers I need for this moment of parenthood that I am in , however, God whispers gently to my tired soul. . . “The narrow gate and the difficult way leads to eternal life—so few even find it!” – Matthew 7:14.
This moment of life is truly a defining one, it is a narrow gate and if I choose to partner with faith then on the other side is peace, patience, kindness, steadfastness and an unwavering knowledge that God’s got this.
When I wrestle with fear over my children and I choose to submit that to the faith that God will grant me the wisdom I need. He will help me to navigate this transitional season in both my children’s lives. Then I am allowing Him to move in our lives.
I allow Him to walk me along the tapered journey and the destination is fullness, wholeness and peace. I am learning to trust Him with my concerns and He is teaching me that He is in the details. He allows me a moment to lean into His goodness when I watch my children snuggled up together on the couch. Our preteen lovingly wraps her arms around her little brother and he is content. Then I know we will pass through the narrow gate of being pressed on all sides to enter into the rest that faith provides.
I have to admit even Daisy’s poop was a defining moment…
AuthorThis guest post is part of my Faith over Fear series. The author, Sherayne George, blogs over at Pebble Crowns, where she chats about parenting (as a “soft crunchy mom”) and life lessons. You can follow her on Facebook. -
Faith over Fear: Choosing faith
Guest post – There has been so much chaos in South Africa with gender based violence being on a constant rise in our country.
Today I want to share how I have been using my faith to get through the current chaos in the country concerning Gender based violence happening the first thing that comes to mind is of corse fear because the evidence is their but fear is Satan’s first mechanism here is proof :
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.-2 Timothy 1:7”
It is clear from the scripture above that fear is NOT from GOD so therefore us living with constant fear is not in line with Gods word yes all the gender based violence is scary but I have been choosing not to walk or live in fear it is hard and it doesn’t make sense but I don’t make sense I make faith!!
So how do I choose faith over fear?
- Remember your identity
We need to remember who we are in Christ and to constantly remind the devil that we know who we are because he will always try to come back to us to test and see of if we really believe the below scripture clarifies who we are and our position in Christ.
“If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.- Colossians 3:1-4 “
- Prayer
Prayer is communication that you have with your God and in times of troubles like we are in now it is important that we as believers pray for the country because prayer and complaining takes the same energy so instead of complaining and turn it into prayer.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7
- Speak
Yes it sounds simple but speaking life and declaring faith over all these situations happening currently is so important because the bible says you shall have what you say and constantly declaring faith will surely help you surpass your fears.
“The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?”- Psalm 27:1
So finally yes we’ve seen the chaos with gender based violence in our country and it is terrible but as believers we must do just that we MUST keep believing God for our country and for the men and women of our country because nothing will change unless we change it by faith.
This life is spiritual and whatever happens in the physical takes place in the spiritual realm first so let’s take charge of our country in the spirit and choose faith over fear.
AuthorThis guest post is part of my Faith over Fear series. The author, Nadine Mokoena, blogs over at The Mom Who Prays, where she touches on motherhood, marriage and faith. You can follow her on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. -
Faith over Fear: A lifetime of yes’s
Guest post – For as long as I can remember, I have been a creature of habit. Trying not to upset my own apple cart. I have never been very spontaneous and I never did anything that was not planned. I am a serious organizer. I like a lot of detail and I make lists for everything. I plan ahead and like when things are perfect. I lived a comfortable organized life… that is, until I got saved…
My story is nothing out of the ordinary. God saved me, from a mundane life of comfort. I was prodding around life, trying to please everyone except The One who created me.
A couple of years after I got saved, the Lord prompted me to live a Year-of-Yes. Saying yes to everything Kingdom related. To step down, and allow God to step up in my life.
My Year-of-Yes, turned into a lifetime of yes’s for Jesus and I have not looked back. Some decisions still terrify me, but I now want to and will forever choose God above it all. My yes’s looked like ministry trips, sharing my testimony when and where ever I could, letting God ‘interrupt’ my day to do His work. And as easy as it sounds, it came with it’s challenges, but the more I said yes, the easier it became. My biggest fear, was man. To be rejected, but God released me from that with every yes I spoke.
Five months ago, we dropped our safety net and said the biggest yes we had ever said. To a calling on our lives that we never expected, but yearned for so dearly. We left everything we knew behind and embarked on a Godventure. Supporting a church plant on the other side of South Africa. We had no idea what to expect, but chose to remain steadfast in God and His plans for us, although we were fearful of the outcome of this gutsy move.
We chose Faith over Fear.
You see, the world is a scary place, but I am not from this world, therefor I refuse to live in fear of it. We are called to bring Heaven to earth. If the King lives in me, I will bring the Kingdom to earth, and fear has no place.
Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world.
Until next time, be blessed mommies!
AuthorThis guest post is part of my Faith over Fear series. The author, Timann Esterhuizen, blogs over at Ele-feather, where she touches on the every day life of a mommy trying to live life 100% dedicated to the Lord. You can follow her on Instagram and Facebook. -
Faith over Fear: Lets talk about faith
Guest post – Lets talk about everything that’s been going on in our country. Protests against Gender Based Violence, #enoughisenough, wearing black on Friday and all the things that come with it.
It’s been a harrowing week for women and children in our country, but it didn’t start recently. It’s been coming over years and years. Time has passed and our society has become so numb to violence, so conditioned to accept things for what they are, and to just live a life of fear. I have read so many posts on social media when the news broke of Nene and little Amy-Leigh’s kidnapping about how women were afraid. How they try to have strategies to escape being a victim, and how they can’t sleep at night or fear walking down their own street in broad daylight.
I can totally relate.
I’ve been afraid, I’ve been cautious in my routines, I’ve always made sure I park my car in a crowded place, I don’t walk alone and I sleep with my dogs and kids in my bed when my husband is away.
But do I shrink back and allow fear to overtake me? Do I become a nervous wreck when I need to leave the house?
No!
And here’s why.
As a Christian, we have a wonderful book FULL of advice and truth and some of those are:
- 2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
- Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
- Psalm 91:5 You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day.
- 2 Corinthians 7:5 & 6 For when we arrived in Macedonia, our bodies had no rest, but we were pressed from every direction—conflicts on the outside, fears within. But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the arrival of Titus,
I have learned, over the years, that Fear disables us, it’s stops us from living a full life. Fear keeps us captive and oppressed. It not only disables us, but when we allow fear to take root in our hearts and minds it makes us ineffective as believers in bringing the Salt and Light to those around us.
I have faced many seasons of fear, been tramped down in my thinking by the aftermath of an experience. I’ve had to take it to God and ask Him to give his perspective on it, I’ve had to allow God to show me that He has never left my side, He’s been with me through everything. I’ve come to understand that the choices of others (with regards to hurting others – emotionally and physically) are their choices and there is nothing I can do to change that, but I can change how I respond to it. I cannot allow the enemy to silence me, I cannot allow the forces of evil to stun me into silence and doubt of who’s I am and how much God loves me.
So I have come to the conclusion through all of the news and social media posts that, yes, we are allowed to be outraged and protest and share our experiences, but as believers, we have a mandate to FIRST go to God and allow Him to direct our opinions so that they match up with his word. Let us sow words of hope, joy and encouragement. Let us sow seeds of love and truth. We cannot live in fear for our lives, we must boldly declare the truth of God over our minds and our hearts and walk it out, with the help of Holy Spirit.
I know it’s hard, I struggle with fear every day, but the key here is to keep walking the walk believing the truth above the facts of the current conversations.
My anchor scripture on this whole thing is Romans 15:13
May the God of HOPE fill you with all joy and PEACE as you TRUST in him, so that you may OVERFLOW with HOPE by the POWER of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13 (emphasis mine)
AuthorThis guest post is part of my Faith over Fear series. The author, Kim van Vuuren, blogs over at Kimvanvee, where she chats about life, food, faith and fun. You can follow her on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. -
Baby drop safes: are they really saving our newborns?
South Africa, we have a problem. Well, we have a few problems, but I’m not here to nitpick the state of the nation. I’m here to ask you guys how we are still finding newborn babies in rubbish bins when we’re (supposedly) putting all the preventative measures in place to make sure that this doesn’t happen?!
Now, teenage pregnancy rates and the sexual promiscuity of our young people aside (that is another topic for another day, when the very thought of not preserving innocence for as long as possible doesn’t infuriate me), I realise that our current problem of finding dead babies in rubbish heaps have become a shocking norm.
I mean, you guys, 65% of abandoned kids in South Africa are newborns. According to IOL, 90% of abandoned children are under the age of one years old. Read this and squirm: “The findings suggested that a child born in South Africa is at the highest risk of being killed during its first six days of life.”
What are we doing wrong? And, if the answer is “uhhh nothing, it’s not OUR fault, cheenie” then my next question is: Are we doing enough to stop this behavior?
I was mildly thrilled to read articles about new “baby drop safes” that had been installed across our metro. Yes, I used the words “mildly thrilled” because, honestly, it’s a great idea, but I don’t know how effective it’s going to be. (Well, judging by the fact that we’re still finding babies in dirt bins, I’m going to go on a gander and say “not very”)
Now, I know, gasp, how dare I say that the baby drop safe idea is not effective?! Surely it’s better than nothing, right?

But guys, hear me out, I’m not totally blind sided here. I’ve been a teenage mom. I know what it’s like to be the bearer of an unwanted pregnancy and wonder how the heck you can “get rid” of the problem. I mean, if I didn’t have a loving support system and a boyfriend who actually loved me and my baby, I’m not sure how our story would have ended.
But I do know that if I were a scared teenager, having just given unassisted birth in an undisclosed location, with no witnesses/help close by, the last thing I would want to do is take a walk/public transport with my “unwanted” newborn in my arms, hoping that no one sees as I drop him off in a baby safe.
There are just too many factors that will work against this. For starters, you’re bleeding, probably lactating already and surely you’re in pain. Secondly, you want to try to keep the baby quiet (because, yes even though it’s a precious life, at that point you are not in your right state of mind and the baby is evidence that you need to dispose of), so travelling with the child may seem like a really bad idea. And lastly, you might not even have the means to transport the child to safety… your clothes may be bloodied… your emotions all over the place. Suddenly dropping your baby off, at a baby safe, feels like the most difficult thing to do.
I mean, honestly, not that we want to make these things easy but, we kinda DO want to make these things easy. And as wonderful as a baby safe may sound (you know, like in Danielle Steel books and on Hallmark movies etc), when you’re a frantic new mother, not sure of what to do to dispose of the “evidence” of just having a kid, finding transport (and strength) to travel to another location, with baby, is the last thing on your mind.
We are often outraged by the very thought that a mother would want to dispose of her baby. And rightly so… it goes against our very nature, as human beings. But as I lay in bed last night, reading about another new life, snuffed out, before it even had a fighting chance, I couldn’t help but wonder what would have made it easier for the mother to get that baby to safety. What could we have done to help that
motherbaby?Perhaps an SMS/Whatsapp line, offering a veil of anonymity, where the mom could send a simple message to let authorities know where she left her baby? Perhaps a team of “baby collectors” who would be on high alert at all times, ready to find these abandoned babies, once they’ve received a message? Perhaps the opportunity for the mother to find help, should she be faced with guilt and regret a few days later… I mean, the SMS line could save a lot more than the baby’s life, yo.
I don’t know. I don’t have all the answers. But I do know that we need to start coming up with some, because our babies are dying before they’ve even had the opportunity to be loved, and that breaks my heart.
Disclaimer: Yes, Martha, I know, it is inhumane and cruel to abandon your baby and surely you could have enough decency to get it to a baby safe and blah blah blah. But this post isn’t here to solve the moral dilemma of moms who abandon their kids. This post is here to encourage conversation around how we can help to save those babies before it’s too late.
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Co-parenting: I failed my child
I chat about single parenting, co-parenting and the blended family a lot on this here blog. But I always try to keep it neutral when it comes to sharing the deets of my own life and situations, simply because my story isn’t only MY story and I want to respect the privacy of all parties involved in our co-parenting journey. So you’ll often find me referencing a friend or family member when chatting about these topics… I mean, most blended families experience the same kind of challenges anyways.
But today I need to share from my own personal experience. I need to tell you guys what is on my heart. And I need to be transparent or else the guilt will consume me.
So this past weekend we celebrated my boy’s Matric Dance. It was a huge deal for me (as I explained here) because I single-parented my way through most of his schooling since his dad lives in another part of the country. So yes, guys, I hired the backdrop, made sure my family wore matching outfits and I even arranged tables of finger foods (you know, old school style) because it was a worthy celebration.
I thought that I had done right by my child, but alas, all was not well. He wasn’t happy. The puffy eyes told me so.
It turns out no matter how fancy his photo backdrop or how delicious the finger foods were, one thing was missing for him. His dad. The boy needed the reassurance that only a bio dad can give, I guess. But all he got was silence.

I knew this would happen. In fact, I spent the week EXPECTING the guy to be a no-show. Kinda WANTING him to prove me right, so that I could have that “I told you so!” moment and somehow feel vindicated. I mean, that would prove to everyone that I’m not just a disgruntled “baby mama” who nags about everything (as we do, apparently)… right?
But when the day of said vindication came, instead of feeling as if I won, I felt like a loser… like I had failed my child. Seeing the longing on his face totally broke me.
I was completely at war with myself… blaming myself for what could have been. I mean, I could have done more to give my child what he so desperately needed that day… a little bit of his bio dad.
I’m a creative lass. I could have made a plan to get the kid’s father to somehow be present… booked a plane ticket, bus ticket, whatever it took.
Or maybe I should have gotten his dad and “other” family to send through video clips congratulating him. I could even have made a photo collage or a video montage, to give the kid the feeling that his bio dad is here, even if just in thought. I should have let the boy know that his bio dad is proud of him, even if he didn’t actually say this with his own mouth (to me, atleast).
Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda.
After some deep introspection, I realised that I needed to let go of the guilt. I had been walking around with anger (towards the guy and towards myself) and it wasn’t helping the situation. I mean, instead of wanting the kid’s dad to be a great father, I kinda set him up for failure (in my heart, atleast) by expecting the worst. And instead of reassuring my child, I allowed myself to operate in spite.
I was reminded that, as the baby mama, spitefulness and vindictiveness will only HURT YOUR CHILD. Your child’s heart is more important than the need to be proven right. I mean, sure you can’t force the other parent to be present, but wouldn’t you want that for your child anyways?
I learnt that the key ingredient to successfully co-parenting your kid is to remove your ego. I can’t control you (or make you respond to my messages) but I can control me and my motive. It’s my job to be the best parent to my child… whether my ego likes it or not. Walking in grace and forgiveness isn’t a temporary thing for “when I feel like it”. It’s constant and it is meant to be applied to ALL relationships in your life… even the challenging ones that involve your kid’s other parent.
I am so thankful that God’s mercies are new every morning and that we get an opportunity to try again, no matter how messy the situation seems.
Clip note: I married the BEST man in the whole entire world, friends. Hubstopher totally stepped up and did everything and more to fill the missing hole. After the dance, the two of them had a great heart to heart, which I do believe brought a lot of healing.



























