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Co-parenting: I failed my child
I chat about single parenting, co-parenting and the blended family a lot on this here blog. But I always try to keep it neutral when it comes to sharing the deets of my own life and situations, simply because my story isn’t only MY story and I want to respect the privacy of all parties involved in our co-parenting journey. So you’ll often find me referencing a friend or family member when chatting about these topics… I mean, most blended families experience the same kind of challenges anyways.
But today I need to share from my own personal experience. I need to tell you guys what is on my heart. And I need to be transparent or else the guilt will consume me.
So this past weekend we celebrated my boy’s Matric Dance. It was a huge deal for me (as I explained here) because I single-parented my way through most of his schooling since his dad lives in another part of the country. So yes, guys, I hired the backdrop, made sure my family wore matching outfits and I even arranged tables of finger foods (you know, old school style) because it was a worthy celebration.
I thought that I had done right by my child, but alas, all was not well. He wasn’t happy. The puffy eyes told me so.
It turns out no matter how fancy his photo backdrop or how delicious the finger foods were, one thing was missing for him. His dad. The boy needed the reassurance that only a bio dad can give, I guess. But all he got was silence.
I knew this would happen. In fact, I spent the week EXPECTING the guy to be a no-show. Kinda WANTING him to prove me right, so that I could have that “I told you so!” moment and somehow feel vindicated. I mean, that would prove to everyone that I’m not just a disgruntled “baby mama” who nags about everything (as we do, apparently)… right?
But when the day of said vindication came, instead of feeling as if I won, I felt like a loser… like I had failed my child. Seeing the longing on his face totally broke me.
I was completely at war with myself… blaming myself for what could have been. I mean, I could have done more to give my child what he so desperately needed that day… a little bit of his bio dad.
I’m a creative lass. I could have made a plan to get the kid’s father to somehow be present… booked a plane ticket, bus ticket, whatever it took.
Or maybe I should have gotten his dad and “other” family to send through video clips congratulating him. I could even have made a photo collage or a video montage, to give the kid the feeling that his bio dad is here, even if just in thought. I should have let the boy know that his bio dad is proud of him, even if he didn’t actually say this with his own mouth (to me, atleast).
Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda.
After some deep introspection, I realised that I needed to let go of the guilt. I had been walking around with anger (towards the guy and towards myself) and it wasn’t helping the situation. I mean, instead of wanting the kid’s dad to be a great father, I kinda set him up for failure (in my heart, atleast) by expecting the worst. And instead of reassuring my child, I allowed myself to operate in spite.
I was reminded that, as the baby mama, spitefulness and vindictiveness will only HURT YOUR CHILD. Your child’s heart is more important than the need to be proven right. I mean, sure you can’t force the other parent to be present, but wouldn’t you want that for your child anyways?
I learnt that the key ingredient to successfully co-parenting your kid is to remove your ego. I can’t control you (or make you respond to my messages) but I can control me and my motive. It’s my job to be the best parent to my child… whether my ego likes it or not. Walking in grace and forgiveness isn’t a temporary thing for “when I feel like it”. It’s constant and it is meant to be applied to ALL relationships in your life… even the challenging ones that involve your kid’s other parent.
I am so thankful that God’s mercies are new every morning and that we get an opportunity to try again, no matter how messy the situation seems.
Clip note: I married the BEST man in the whole entire world, friends. Hubstopher totally stepped up and did everything and more to fill the missing hole. After the dance, the two of them had a great heart to heart, which I do believe brought a lot of healing.
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Matric Dance celebrations: how big is too big?
Depending on where you grow up, your Matric Dance (aka “prom”) evening can be as simple as “just another night on the town” or as extravagant as a wedding. My brown people usually opt for the latter, going the extra mile with the send off, sparing no expense on draping the dining room (for the photos mos), expensive catering and the hiring of high end luxury vehicles to make that special night that much more special.
It’s a big night – big celebrations must be had! I totally get and support that. But I guess it’s not for everyone. I’ve had chats with people who were like, uhmmm no I’m not spending extra money on this. In fact, my own Matric Dance send off was very NOT over-the-top. There were no gushing family members guzzling down pastries, no hired photographer and guys, I didn’t even have a fancy car waiting outside for me. Was my evening amazing? Well, yes it was. I mean, not having those things didn’t, like, scar me for life.
A simple send off worked quite well for me. But guys, it’s my firstborns Matric Dance this coming weekend and I’m going way bigger than I had planned! (Okay way bigger for me – but maybe not big enough, for some.)Yes, my friends, I’ve morphed into that mother (you know, the next level extra one I spoke about last week) and find myself hiring a 2 meter photo backdrop and arranging a 5 meter string of fairy lights, for the occasion. I also have things like: savory platters, curling custard, after party clothes and “funky socks” on my To Pay For list. Who am I evens?!
Will my family and I wear color-coordinated outfits for the event? Probably. Did I allow Kyle to send out invitations to all his friends and their cats? Definitely. Am I planning to make a long-winded speech, that will most likely end in tears? Without a doubt.
All of a sardine having a simple Matric Dance send off is like, totally ludicrous! MUST. DO. THE. MOST!
Suddenly I want to hire Emo Adams to MC and I want to send everyone home with a party pack. I find myself Googling things like “how to make pyrotechnics” and “how much does it cost to hire a Lamborghini Diablo in Port Elizabeth”. My plans of a simple Matric Ball send off all a forgotten memory as I shop around for a photographer, a videographer and someone who could maybe film a music video because “that hasn’t been done yet.”
Truth be told, a Matric Dance kinda symbolises the end of an era. For the kid it means their adulting days are looming. For the parents: we don’t have to pay school fees anymore (and the crowd goes rah!) and we finally get to see the fruit of our labour. (And by labour I am most definitely referring to the 3 hours worth of homework we have to dohelp with each night.)I mean, hey, I kinda raised this boy all by myself (with help of family members and amazing friends). I paid for expensive schooling, sat through treacherous hours of completing assignments due the next day, helped to memorise facts about South African history that even I didn’t know and attended school “family days” where the only family around was me because his dad lived in a different city and that’s just how single parenting works.
Sure, each family celebrates differently – and that’s okay! But for my boy and I, having a simple Matric Dance send off just wouldn’t make sense if I consider the bumpy roads and the obstacle courses we navigated successfully.
We have a lot to celebrate! And that, my dear, is totally worth draping the dining room, long winded speeches and expensive catering.
Matric 2019 – we made it!
Photo credits:
Header image: Photo by victoria on Unsplash
Pic of Ronelle and I, taken at my wedding by Donna van der Watt
Black and white pic of Kyle and I, taken like, 12 years ago, not sure where -
Buy healthy and save? Yes, it is possible with Kimbino!
Sponsored – If you look at your budget every month, you will find that most of your money is spent on food. It is important, however, to take a look at what food items you are buying every month. Yes, we do spend a lot of money on food items, but how many of that is actually healthy for us? Now, more than ever, it is important to look at what we put into our bodies. As they say “you are what you eat”!
How can you be healthier?
There are many things you can implement to help yourself have a healthier life. Follow these five tips as a start:
- Drink enough water. Not everyone can drink eight glasses of water a day, but if you can get to five a day, that is a great start. Water cleanses your body and fills you up, so you don’t get hungry so often!
- Cook healthy. Find healthy products that are on special and buy them in bulk. This way, you can cook healthy dishes for longer periods, and for cheaper! Don’t you have time to cook every day? Prepare food for 2-3 days and put food in a bowl and store in the refrigerator. If you don’t have the right bowl at home, you’ll find great tips in the new Tupperware catalogue. In Tupperware catalogue you will find many great kitchen helpers.
- Take your vitamins. It is vital that you get the essential vitamins and minerals in every day. The best way to absorb your vitamins is through eating healthy, but if you struggle to find healthy food every day, supplements are great alternatives to the real deal.
- Exercise as much as possible! Try to do a 20-minute workout at least two to three times a week. Exercise keeps you fit and boosts endorphins, which make you feel really good.
- Get some sun. The sun keeps your bones healthy. That’s because your body produces vitamin D when exposed to the sun.
Eating healthy can be expensive
Many people choose the unhealthy option when it comes to food and drinks because it is often cheaper. However, it shouldn’t be. With an application like Kimbino, it is easier than ever to find specials on all the items you are looking for. Kimbino is an online platform that hosts special catalogues from many different retailers. This way, you can find discounts on all the products you are looking for.
Want to start living healthier? Simply search for the items you are looking for on Kimbino’s easy-to-use app or website, and find all the discount prices in one place. But remember, Kimbino doesn’t just offer food product catalogues, they have a variety of catalogues from many stores! Looking for specials from a specific shop, such as Makro? With Kimbino, you can find Makro specials with just a few clicks.
Save time, buy cheaper and live healthier!
Disclaimer: Post sponsored by Kimbono. All content supplied.
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Newborn checklist: My stripped down list of must-haves
When you’re a bit of a baby aficionado, like I am, you kinda know what’s up when it comes to baby stuff. I mean, the running joke is that my next baby’s entrance into the world will be so easy, that it’ll probably appear wearing a whole outfit, including matching beanie and socks. *insert crickets chirping*
But regardless of how, uhm, experienced you are at child rearing, preparing for a little bebe can seem very daunting especially when you eye those extravagantly long lists on the internet, put together by mothers who are – for lack of a better term – next level extra.
I mean, we’ve all been that “next level extra” mom. Aint nothing wrong with that… I mean, I kinda still am, sometimes. But truth be told, my fellow mamas, you actually need very little for baby’s first few days on earth. In fact, if you compare those (very long) lists with the amount of stuff that are very necessary, you’d be surprised at how minimal your baby list should actually be.
Now the only reason why this topic is coming up on my blog today is because I am tired. (Yes, this is the mantra of my life right now, bail a sister). And because I am tired, I haven’t even attempted to do any baby shopping for baby Williams arrival at the end of August. But, in my defense, I know that I only need these 7 things to get by during those first few weeks:
1. Onesies
I love little baby crawlers and onesies, especially for the first few months, because quite honestly you guys, no one is seeing that outfit underneath swaddle blankets. Snap crotch vests are life (I said that here, remember) and comfy crawlers and onesies are perfect for baby’s transition from womb to world. I stan a cute onesie, over a pair of 0-3 month skinny jeans, any day!2. Blankets
Talking about blankets, these are obvz a must. Swaddle sets are cool because it helps you to keep baby feeling safe and tucked in. (Remember, that’s what they experienced in the womb too). So a couple of swaddle blankets, some receiving blankets and a larger fleecy one is basically all I’ll get for my baby right now. I am also planning on using my The Gro Company baby sleeping bags, for safer sleep. (I literally aaacked when they sent me some! I’ll tell you all about it soon).3. Big ticket items
Stuff like your cot, your car seat and your sleep positioner (like this one) is super duper important. I also prefer having a bath seat (like this one), to help me to wash that little body without being a cluts. A good quality baby bag is also a must. Things like a play mat, a feeding chair and a Bumbo seat are great things, but I would probably only aim to get those things later on.
4. Breastfeeding gear
My Medela breast pumps, breast pads and nipple ointments are an absolute MUST! You guys, I switched to Medela, when Jo was born, and my life has never been the same again! (Indulge me as I over-dramatise this moment) Seriously though, Medela was so kind to send me their mini-electric pump and I am planning on getting a Harmony hand pump again, because it works so well for quick pumps. (The pic above was taken in a plane, you guys, I’m a gangsta-pumper).5. Nappies
Because, duh. Nappies and wet wipes are essential commodities, when you have a newborn. Stocking up on nappies and wipes are definitely a life goal, when you’re expecting a little one. You can totally use cloth nappies too (Simone wrote a very interesting article about it here). I must admit, the idea of cloth diapering, while being a working mom with a 2 year old and a 4 year old, totally overwhelms my spreadsheet brain. And yep, baby will be going to a day mother, so no help at home either. So I’ll probably kick it old school and stick to the Huggies I know and trust. Oh and the more wet wipes the merrier!
6. Bottles and pacifiers
I mean, if you plan to breastfeed, you may not want to invest in these just yet. In fact, besides for Jojo, none of my kids even took to pacifiers. But when it comes to bottles (because let’s face it, even if you exclusively breast feed, you may want to express milk and bottlefeed) I would definitely stick to the Tommee Tippee brand. The Closer To Nature range helped me to combo feed Kari and made the transition from boob to breast a bit easier for my girl. It’s a definite must-have for me. (Oh and duh, if you’re bottle feeding, you would want a top notch bottle cleaner, bottle rack and sterilizer).7. Toiletries
Top-to-toe wash and baby lotion is probably the only must-have on my toiletries list. I don’t use powders and oils on my little ones, just because I feel that their delicate skin doesn’t really need it. A solid bum cream is a must though – fans of Sudocream, hollar! (I never thought I would be a fan, of like, a bum cream, but here I am wanting to follow it on Instagram).So that’s my very doable list of baby goodies that I absolutely need to get, like, soon. My spreadsheet brain is also all about that forward thinking, so putting money onto a Baby City (or retailer of choice) gift card every month, during your pregnancy, is a great way to ensure that you have funds to buy those necessary items, once baby is here.
Disclaimer: This post was NOT sponsored by Baby City 🙂
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Your kids artwork could win them a share of R18 000!
Guys, guess what, your kid’s artwork can score you a couple of bucks. Yep! My inner Kris Jenner was like, yassss how do I sign up!
So, get this: Tavcor Volkswagen (Moffett Expressway, Nelson Mandela Bay) wants to give your kid the opportunity to win cash prizes to the value of a cool R18 000 and basically all the kid has to do is… well, pretty much the same thing they do everyday… put color pen to paper! Sounds easy enough right? The annual Design-An-Allspace Competition is that simple! Here’s more info:
2019 Design-An-Allspace Competition
Tavcor William Moffett is inviting learners, across Nelson Mandela Bay, to design an awe-inspiring vehicle wrap for their Volkswagen Tiguan Allspace. The theme for this year’s competition is Outer Space and your kid could pretty much design the wrap exactly how they would translate that theme… martians, aliens, space ships, planets, etc. What a great way to encourage them to use their imagination!
Do you think that your kid has what it takes? Well, duh, of cause they do (#biased #notbiased). To enter simply:
1. Grab an A3 entry form online or collect one from the dealership.
2. Encourage your kid to get a-cracking with designing that award winning wrap, while giving them snacks, shoulder rubs and encouraging affirmations like “you’re doing great, sweetie.”
3. Drop off the original entry at Tavcor Volkwagen, William Moffett by Friday 20 September at 5pm.
The nitty gritty’sThe competition runs from 1 May to 20 September, and is only open to kids who are still in school.
The Top 40 designs will be selected and displayed at the dealership in the month of October, and the public will then be encouraged to vote for their top picks.
The winners, including the people’s choice, will be chosen via a combination of public voting and the final judging process.
The final winners will be announced at an awards function at the end of October 2019. The top 40 must be present at the function, to claim their prize.
The total of R18 000 in cash prizes will be shared equally between student and representing school.
Two of the winning designs will be wrapped onto Tavcor Volkswagen demonstration vehicles (Tiguans in this year’s competition). These vehicles will be available for presentation at the winning schools.
For more information, check out Tavcor VW on Facebook and on Instagram.
Disclaimer: This post was sponsored by Tavcor Volkswagen Nelson Mandela Bay.
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Dear unborn baby: you are SO loved, I promise!
Guys, I can speak on this from every level possible… as a teenager, who just did a pee stick test in her best friends bathroom; as a newly wed, who planned to only have kids after a few years of “settling down”; as a well seasoned mother of many, who thought that her womb’s work here on earth is done. I know what it feels like to be pregnant and wonder how on earth you got to this place.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, our baby number 3 is totally loved and wanted and this is something that our hearts needed. BUT there have been many times, during this pregnancy, where I found myself going: WHAT ON EARTH WAS I THINKING?!
Now, come on friends, I know that a few of you can relate. Maybe your pregnancy was totally planned, but like me, you find yourself bathing in sheer exhaustion, wishing you could have a break. Or maybe it was a surprise pregnancy and you don’t know how you’re going to manage a newborn on top of all the current drama and challenges in your life. Or perhaps you’re currently trying to perfect the magic balancing act of home/career/marriage/don’t-mess-up-your-kids-lives.
Whatever your story: I hear you, girl.
I’m not here to justify those feelings… but I am here to say that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. I consider this Land of Overwhelm to be a place I sometimes visit, but NOT a place that I will settle down in. I mean, I refuse to make it the mantra of my life. But I’m totally not putting pressure on myself to be a robot and masquerade all these feelings of “aaack” simply because I need to paint a pretty picture for the rest of the world.I take a breath and acknowledge that I’m in a very crazy season right now. And that’s okay. This pregnancy is different, when compared to the first two. And that’s okay. My body is in a permanent state of giving-me-the-stink-eye, so everything is a bit harder right now. And that’s okay.
I mean, real talk, resting my body has become an island holiday. There is no Journey Journal, no carefully thought out plans and, hey, I haven’t even purchased a single little outfit and I’m due like, next month. But I’m in total peace and I feel totally prepared to welcome this gorgeous bundle of Williams into my arms.
Yep, I’m overwhelmed sometimes… but is this child a beautiful blessing anyways? Yes! A thousand times yes! My baby is loved and adored and so wanted! It’s just different this time around, that’s all.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that, if this is you, if you’re overwhelmed sometimes because motherhood is just that rough, there is NOTHING wrong with you. I see you. I understand the complete overwhelm. And I know that it doesn’t mean that your children are unloved and unwanted. You aren’t living in a glass cage of emotion and regret. You’re just going through a crazy season, that’s all.
Rest in the promise that this is just that: a season. I read that there is a season for every single thing under the sun. And once this one passes, you’ll be able to reflect back on the beautiful memories and marvel at how hard you thought it would be. In retrospect, it will be a raindrop in the ocean of your life.
And then you’ll give yourself a pat on the back, because you’ll realise that you, my friend, are a lot more bad-ass than you know.
Images: Pics taken at the Penelope&Bella photo shoot many moons ago, when I was pregnant with Jonah.
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Finding hope in the poop
I was 7 years old when I attempted to wow my 6 year old cousin with my magical powers. The magic act involved making a 2 cent coin disappear. One minute the coin was in my hand… the next it was gone! I was a legend.
What my cousin didn’t know was that I had hidden the coin in my mouth (yes, ew), under my tongue. I mean, those are minor details when you’re trying to establish yourself as the coolest cousin in the family.
The real magic happened a few seconds later though when I realized that the coin actually DID disappear. I had accidentally swallowed it.
Now, given the fact that it was one of those large 2 cent coins (90’s kids – hollar!), my parents completely freaked out and immediately rushed me to hospital. I could see the fear in their eyes as the doctor investigated the full body x-ray, trying to determine where the coin was lodged.
My magic act had become more death-defying than legendary.
For days thereafter, I pooped into a baby potty and then watched as my mom sifted through the poop, with a stick, to see if the elusive 2 cent coin had found an exit. My poop had become the most interesting thing in our home – the 2 cent coin a hidden treasure. If it did not make an appearance I would need to go for a serious operation to have it removed.
After a stressful few days, the coin finally found its way out of my body. My parents were so relieved, they didn’t even mind the sifting through the poop!
There was hope in my poop that day. (Never thought I’d ever use that sentence on my blog).
Anyways, while reminiscing on this story, I was struck with a sudden revelation. Now, mind you, I am very pregnant and my thought pattern is a bit bonkers right now. But bare with me.
Life can offer you bundle of poop sometimes.You know, the type of bundle that your puppy leaves in the middle of the dining room, only to be discovered by your bare foot, accidentally, in the middle of the night. I mean, we’ve all been dealt with bundles of poop, on occasion.
My family and I have been dealt with large-ish bundles of poop over a span of a couple of years. I mean, from freak accidents to large financial losses, trips to the hospital, to losing our home due to an irate landlord.
It’s been a lot to manage… a lot of bundles of poop to avoid stepping into and even more bundles of poop that we completely and totally stepped into, toes and all.
But, in the midst of it all, my friends, the one thing that carried us through (and continues to carry us) is the fact that we know that there is a BIGGER plan.
Maybe the poop is helping us to be more mindful… more wary about where we are stepping… more intentional about wearing shoes, before going into the dining room. The challenging situations make us stronger, more unified as a family and definitely wiser when making those (sometimes rash) decisions.
And wives, a complete and utter poopy situation can help to GROW your marriage, if you let it! Suddenly you guys are a two-man army, impenetrable and unstoppable, because you are on the same mission. Once the war is over, and the battle is won, it kinda feels good to look at your battle scars and know that you made it out together. The battle did more good, than damage.
So just like how my parents had to sift through poop, to find hope that their little girl is going to be okay, I want to encourage you guys to find hope in your seemingly hopeless situation.
A poopy situation doesn’t make sense right now… it’s annoying, it itches, and it’s preventing you from living your best life. Or so it seems. But God can use even the most devastating of situations for your good if you ask Him to. He can use the ugly and stinky to create a masterpiece.
The great thing is that there is always hope in the poop and sometimes we just have to wait it out a little bit longer, in order to see it.
Disclaimer: I said the word “poop” a lot in this post, and you know what, I don’t even mind. Poop. There I said it again. Surprise!
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Pregnancy update: when you’re not a spring chicken anymore
So I’m officially 30 weeks preggers today and even though this is baby number 4 for me (kid number 5 for us), I’m still so amazed every time the little pooper moves around in my womb. I mean, there is another life inside of me. It’s such a miracle! The back pain probably originated from the pit of hell, but other than that, the rest of it is definitely heaven-orchestrated. Like, I’m convinced.
How am I feeling right now? Well, I was telling a friend that it’s so weird how this pregnancy is vastly different to my previous pregnancies. There are a lot of aches and pains this time around, you guys.
I think that a lot of the pain has to do with the pressure of my umbilical hernia and the overbearing amount of weight I feel in my belly. I mean, the diastasis recti has ensured that my tummy muscles are now divorced and no longer in a loving relationship with each other. Which means my core is pretty much a non-event. My back is killing me – walking has become tedious. And you would think that laying down would be better, but I have to find just the right angle or else I’m riddled with pain again.
But I mean *insert chirper voice here* other than that everything is just like, SOOOOO awsome right now!
Pause for effect.
That pause (and the bathroom selfie) was actually just a distraction so that I can blow my nose without anyone looking at me. Apparently pregnancy rhinitis is a real thing… did you know that? Pregnancy rhinitis is basically nasal congestion and an increase in mucus production, due to an increased blood flow. In a nutshell, I am a walking ball of snot. It’s especially attractive at night when Hubstopher wants to cuddle.But I mean, besides for that, the misconstrued emotional outbursts (hey Hubstopher), the extreme tiredness and the fact that I can’t breathe sometimes, everything is GREAT!
The crazy thing, my friends, is that I sometimes feel like I can’t say these things outloud because then it sounds as if I’m complaining and not fully appreciating the miracle baby in my belly. So many other women would give anything to be in my position. How DARE I complain?!
But the truth is that I’m not in my 20’s anymore, Deborah Patta. It’s not MY fault… it’s how life works. I mean, I’m not exactly a spring chicken anymore. The last time I was “in my 20s” was when Miley Cyrus was Hannah Montana. So obvz this pregnancy is going to feel a lot different on my body. And that’s okay.
But how does one enjoy a whole 2 more months of aches, pains, snotty noses and extreme fatigue without, you know, letting it become the backtrack of your life?
Well, I guess this is where perspective comes into play… recognizing the season for what it is and choosing to focus on the fact that my little pooper will make an appearance in a couple of weeks. And when that happens… when I get to look into my babys face for the first time … none of this will matter anymore.
Photo attributes: (Header) 2017 Love My Body photoshoot; (Body) Taken by Ella
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I’m not that cute anymore
I can’t remember the last time I felt attractive. I blame this on the state of my hair, the aging of my skin, the flabbiness of my body and the fact that I’ve been pregnant three times in four years.
I blame it on the umbilical hernia that makes me look as if an alien is trying to escape my body through my belly button. I blame it on hormones, on the stress of life, on the fact that I’m always busy but I don’t always want to be busy so then I stop doing things and then I hate myself for not doing things.
I blame it on the fact that I don’t have the time for skin care and hair care and tweezing my eyebrows until they match (your eyebrows should be cousins, not twin sisters, btw).
I blame it on my husband. Surely he should make me feel better somehow? (Just “somehow” okay? I don’t have specifics). I blame it on the world – on media, Insta-fashion and reality tv shows that advertise a life where everyone looks put together all the time.
I blame it on myself. Mostly on myself. I mean, even if you told me that I look nice today, the little voice in the back of my head would tell me that you’re just saying so to be polite. I feel ugly like, majority of the time. There, I said it.
The cool factor that I had going for me (when I was still, you know, cool) is gone. I’m old and boring now. The novelty of me – as the “cute wife” – has worn off. And I wonder if my Hubstopher regrets not choosing a younger version, when he decided to settle down.
I mean, I feel like I pretty much have the same form and functionality as the toaster or the TV’s remote control. Nothing to see here, move along. Unless you want a sandwich. I’m here for that.
Now, hear me out Oprah Winfrey. I get it… The fact that I’ve carried four whole children in my womb should flippen mean something. I’ve sacrificed my youth, my time and my body for something that yields a far greater reward than being able to fit into a size 26 jeans again. I should give myself a lot more credit than this. Seriously, Patricia, self pity is not a good look.And anyways, my appearance doesn’t determine my worth… my value…my beauty. That’s kinda superficial and a really shallow way to think. Surely. Right?
But if we’re going to be honest, friends, we’re all this girl sometime or other. We have seasons where we try to love on ourselves and fail to do so because you just can’t find anything to love. We’re kinda hard on ourselves and on our beautiful, masterpiece-of-a-creation, bodies, creating boxes that MUST be ticked, before we deem it okay to be, well, exactly who we were created to be.
Does it make sense? Nope. Does it ever end? Well, I don’t know. Is it okay? Well, kinda no. It’s never okay to not love on yourself and the body that God has given you.
I’m learning that being me – the REAL me – is the most beautiful thing that I could ever be… in all my stretch-marked, big-thighed, baggy-under-eyed glory. And I guess the real battle is getting to a place where I’m okay with being that girl, even on days when my jeans don’t fit.
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Easy peasy KOO Cape Malay curry homemade pie (can feed a family of very many people)
Friends, I’m not the best cook in the world. In fact, I’m downright unimpressive when it comes to kitchen stuff. (I just referred to cooking as “kitchen stuff”… point and case). So, when I find a recipe that is quick, easy and tastes delicious, best know that I’m going to brag about it on this here blog and basically make it whenever you invite me over for a bring and share.
At our blogger event, the kind people over at KOO gave us a hamper filled with some of their yummy tinned veggies and I knew I had to do something with it (I mean, besides for give them to a family member with the hint of “here, cook for us.”)
I was kinda excited because I spotted some of the new KOO iconic curry sauce flavours in the press drop. Dude, you need to check this out! KOO – the country’s fave canned food brand – introduced a range of curried mixed veggies to the shelf, in Durban Curry and Cape Malay Curry sauces! And believe me (because it’s food, I don’t joke about food) these flavors are legit! I mean, I had to try them out in a dish!I visited the KOO website for ideas and spotted an easy homemade pie recipe. I mean, it seemed simple enough. The recipe was for individual pies though, and as you know, my family (filled with very many people) are usually ravenous come supper time. So I decided to adapt the recipe a bit to make a large oven pie instead. I am absolutely, without a doubt, impressed with myself. Here’s my recipe:
Disclaimer: Now, friends, if you’re like me (a very undomesticated goddess who wonders why her husband hasn’t tried to trade her in for a Martha Stewart type) then this recipe is for you. It’s easy, doesn’t require any cooking skill at all (obviously) and is one of those quick meal ideas. If you’re looking for something a bit more fancier, look away, my friend. You will not find that here.
Easy peasy homemade pie (can feed a family of very many people)Ingredients:
1kg minced beef
Salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
1 egg (beaten)
2 medium onions, chopped
3 cans (410g) KOO MIXED VEGETABLES in CAPE MALAY Curry Sauce
2 rolls of Puff Pastry
You can add cheese (I like it cheesy)
Fresh herbs to garnish if you’re that person. (I’m not that person)
Method:
Pre-heat the oven at 180 degrees C.In a large pot, brown your chopped onions (I usually add garlic and ginger, because that’s what my mother does) and eventually add in your mince. Season with some salt and pepper and cook until brown.
Add your KOO Cape Malay curried mixed veggies to the pot and allow to cook through. (You’re welcome to add salt and seasoning to taste, but I found that it needed very little to no extra salt… all the flavor is there already!) Allow your concoction to cool.Roll out one package of Puff Pastry and press into your oven dish, making sure it overlaps the sides nicely. (Please note, I definitely used Spray And Cook in my oven dish before I pressed my pastry in. Maybe you should too.) Stick your pastry into the oven for a couple of minutes. You want it to be a golden brown.
When it’s ready, remove from oven and scoop your cooled Cape Malay stew into the baked pastry base, adding the second (raw) layer of pastry on top, like a lid.
Brush egg on to the top of your pastry. Stick it in the oven and give yourself a high five because you just made a whole pie without using Google.
Bake for 15 to 20 minutes (or until it’s nice and golden).And that’s that. I wish I had more to share, or could tell you guys how I discovered an easy way to do something, but nope. It’s that plain and simple. I’ve never baked with a KOO product before and I must say, this experiment was pretty darn delish!
If you want to try out the original KOO Crusty Homemade Pie with Curried Mixed Vegetables recipe that this was adapted from you can find it here.The KOO curried mixed vegetable range, retailing for approximately R17.99, is available from retailers and supermarkets across the country. For meal inspiration and delicious recipes visit – www.koo.co.za.
Header image: KOO
Disclaimer: Also, KOO sent me this product to try out.
