My spreadsheet brain
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My maternity leave is over and I’m excited
No, the title of this post was not written by tiny alien invaders who have taken over my body in an attempt to gain a deeper understanding of how the average mom brain works. (Suspicious sounding much?) But yes, I am excited that my maternity leave is over. Does that make me a weirdo?
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love lounging around (aka cleaning the house, doing the laundry and getting lunch and supper ready, all while holding a 8kg baby) but I need to get my life back. I find myself craving routine again. Can you believe it? It’s the spreadsheet brain talking, fa sho. Guys, I miss being a normal person. (If Hubstopher were here he would make a snarky remark about how I’ve never been a “normal person”.) Can anyone else relate? Did you find yourself craving the “norm” after four months of lying at home and doing nothing? I mean, it sounds like a sweet deal, but is it really?
If you read my previous post you would know that Baby Jo has been especially clingy. I could not get any work done while I was at home with him. He’s a really sweet kid and all but the fact that he preferred me over like, the rest of the world, literally all of the time (good taste, by the way), meant that I had no free time. Maternity leave is a fallacy, I tell you! A farce! They make you believe you’ll be enjoying an extended vacation period, all snuggled up with cute baby en tow. What they don’t warn you about is the sleepless nights, numerous amount of times you have to pick puke out of your hair and that you feel utterly unfabulous each day as you attempt to find an over-sized shirt that matches your fading gym pants.Look, it’s not all bad though. I mean, I did enjoy the fact that I could stay in bed during the colder Winter days. And Jonah has been the cutest, chubby-cheeked cherry on the cake, for sure! But I can’t wait to wake up with purpose again. I love being able to use my brain (for something other than remembering which boob was last emptied) and I love working towards a goal, whatever that may be. I have so many exciting ideas and campaigns that I can’t wait to get started on. And most of all… I miss wearing regular person clothes and make up man!
So here’s to you maternity leave. Thank you for the glorious four months of binge watching Greys Anatomy, drinking an overwhelming amount of tea and snort-laughing, in bed, as I scroll through Facebook and read about other people’s Monday blues. You’ve been kind but my season here is done. Luchae….out! -
Just me throwing a spreadsheet brain tantrum
If you must know, I haven’t cared to update this blog of mine for the past two weeks. Mainly because this is my version of throwing a spreadsheet brain tantrum. You see, my site was hacked (I’m not even joking) a while ago and during the fixing something went wrong and now I can’t upload images into my posts. Firstly, I know right, are images really that important Luchae? Well yes, yes they are. Secondly, why would anyone want to hack ME? I mean, seriously now. Unless they want to infiltrate my blog in an attempt to take over… uhh my three bedroomed duplex (run by a small army that I created myself and now can’t get away from). Not extremly ambitious I would say. And lastly, why throw a virtual tantrum anyways. It’s not like anyone cares. Well I care. Throwing the tantrum made me feel better, okay? So there you have it. -
Getting my groove back after having a baby
The female body is a wonderful thing. It has been designed with the remarkable ability to accommodate and grow a whole other person. Once the job is complete, the body knows exactly when to eject the tiny human being (albeit with some effort) and then, after birth, bounces back to it’s former glory (I use the word “former” loosely). Though there may be some notable changes to it, post-birth, your body can largely do everything that it could do before the making of said baby. And yet, after having a baby, you somehow still feel ‘changed’. Even if you look the same as you did before. -
Preggy update: Husbands are sometimes right too
Preggy update: I’ve been especially hard on myself the past few days. Why? Well, mainly because I am STILL pregnant and I don’t know how to make it stop! If you recall from my previous posts, my doc would like to induce me later this week because this kid is a giant and I really want to give birth naturally. So, for the past few days, I’ve been trying out old housewives remedy’s and modern mama theory’s to try to get baby Jo to make an appearance. And still nothing. -
How to induce labour at home
Have you ever tried to induce labour at home? Old wives tales and millennial mamas all have countless tips and tricks that supposedly work, but I wonder if they actually do. Of corse, keeping your bun in the oven until he/she decides to make an appearance is ideal. But different circumstances could call for you to help your baby along its way. Well, I’ve been doing my research on home induction and I’m here to share them with you.
To be honest, I never thought I’d be desperate enough to induce labour at home. I’m one of those “everything happens when it’s suppose to happen” kind of girls. But my recent OBGYN visit showed us a very big baby Jo. In fact, the guestimation is that he will be over 4kg at birth, if I carry full term. His mid section is really big and since I’m pushing for natural labour (pun intended), my sweet doc would rather not take the chance to have me carry till my due date. If nothing happens naturally, by next week, she will be inducing labour at the hospital. But we’re keeping our hopes up that Jo will make an appearance before then. In the meantime, here are a few “induction tricks” that I’ve found online. I’m curious to know: Have any of you tried this at home? Please share your stories with me!
Lots of sex
Well this is one that Hubstopher won’t mind at all. I’ve read (and I like that this is a medical fact, not something that Margaret told Greta in 1856) that semen contains prostaglandins. This hormone-like compound ripens and softens the cervix. Apparently three “doses” of this hormone is enough to spur on labour.Nipple stimulation
Another medical fact is that nipple stimulation mimics the suckling of a newborn. This releases oxytocin into your body, which is responsible for uterine contractions during labour. The trick is to stimulate the section behind the areola. You could even do this by using a breast pump.Castor Oil
Look, I’m not here to promote gut-wrenching diarrhea. But I’ve heard that castor oil is a great natural induction tool because it stimulates the uterus to contract. It does this by stimulating the intestines (which in turn stimulates the uterus). I would assume that you need to be mindful of the amount of castor oil that you ingest. (See my reference to gut-wrenching diarrhea).Other foods
There are a list of foods that also supposedly bring on those labour pains. Things like pineapple, spicy foods and dates are on top of the list. The reasoning is that they work in similiar fashion to the castor oil – they cause intestinal stimulation, which in turn stimulates the uterus.Red rasberry leaf tea
This is another one of those old wives tales that people swear by! I’ve read that this tea strengthens the uterus and pelvic wall, when consumed during pregnancy. It is also very stimulating and is said to speed along the birth process as well.Acupuncture and accupresure
There is always the option of trying natural or homeopathic remedys. I’m no expert on the topic but I’ve read that acupuncture helps to get you mentally and physically ready to birth your baby. In fact, there are certain pressure points in your feet that can help to bring on natural labour.Move it move it
Exercises – such as walking, biking or swimming – is said to bring on labour. Of corse, you’re always told to walk walk walk, when you’re in your final stages of pregnancy. This helps baby to get into position and it helps to open up your pelvis for a faster delivery.So that’s my list. But with all of that said, I don’t have room for fear or anxiety in my head. Remaining calm and relaxed is my super, top secret tip on how to induce labour at home. But I must admit, I am curious: Have you tried any of these at home? Which of these work, in your opinion? Please share your thoughts and tips with me, in the comments section!
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Wait a minute, I’m STILL pregnant?!
It’s been a crazy past few days of #ECMeetUp planning and being pregnant all at the same time. I’m not sure how my spreadsheet brain calculated it, but I was under the impression that I would be way earlier in my pregnancy, at the meet up. Turns out I am two weeks away from my due date – and it feels like it! To be honest, I actually can’t believe that I’m still pregnant. I really thought that this kid would make his grand appearance like a month early. For the most part, I feel great (if ‘great’ means feeling as if you’re carting around a 5kg bag of sugar under your top) and my baby Jo is happily swimming away. -
The Spur debacle and why I don’t care
So the whole Spur debacle has everyone talking and I’ve over here like, “what do you mean no more Monday burger special?!” Look, I don’t mean to sound cavalier about what went down at the eatery. In fact, I am down right appalled. But I was even more shocked at the response of South Africans – far and wide – who (get this part) was not even AT Spur at the time of the incident. That’s right ladies and gents. You were not there. -
the punishment of pregnancy
I sometimes feel the punishment of pregnancy. It’s there… the unspoken, acceptable norms, that make life as a female a little bit more difficult than before. There are just so many challenges to overcome – legalities that shouldn’t be an issue – when you are expectant. Moms, did you also feel this way when you were pregnant? I did not realize how much it affected me until I visited my OBGYN yesterday. She took one look at me and exclaimed “wow, let’s see how many are in there!” Gasp, twins?! (insert instant freak out here) I’m sure we could handle two babies at the same time… right?! I mean, we already have three children, for crying out loud. What’s two more? -
2017: Winning! (Without a new year’s resolution)
Hey, here’s a pretty bold statement to make: I’m not a fan of new year’s resolutions.
Say whaaaa? Yes, really. While I appreciate that the start of a new year seems like a really good time to find purpose or make a change, guess what, you don’t have to start on the 1st of January. And, quite honestly, expecting an immediate change, after making a resolution (at any time of the year) is a bit of a long haul. What have I decided for this year though? Well, quite simply, 2017: Winning! Here’s what that means: -
Just so you know, this is why I blog
A few weeks ago I had coffee with a couple of bloggers at a local eatery. We chatted, very animatedly, about blogging and the blog industry. In mid convo I spotted two young ladies, sitting close by, mocking us openly. “Oooh she bloooogs!” I heard them jeer, judging us from a distance. It kinda pushed me over my chill limit. I mean, it’s not the first time that I hear a bunch of snotty comments being thrown at bloggers and social media influencers. But this time it was right there, all up in my grill, and it made me want to reconsider why I blog. Heck, why do it? What does this “blogging thing” even mean?
